Driving Me Crazy

[sillyactsue]

I know I have been glutened recently, not sure where or how. I am having all sorts of problems the most disturbing of which is sensitivty to sound. Any one sound seems to scrape my brain. Combinations of sounds are eating my lunch. Dog barking, train going by, my three year old's three wheeler going by on the dining room floor. People talking, everything is very frustrating. I have a lot of demands on me, a lot of stress that has lasted a few years and will last a while longer. It is all piling up. I have thought about seeing someone about depression but their solutions are not for me and as far as counseling goes I have learned through experience that psychologist exist for one purpose, to stick their self diagnosed superiority into my pocket and happily snatch away the food off of my table and extend my bill payments past their due dates, as if I were a peon to be stepped on. Ooohh Doc, you forgot to break my nose while you were climbing up my face. Screw them!

I know that much of what I'm feeling is gluten related. I know this because I am bloated and haven't had pop for a while. I feel almost to pathetic to care about gluten. The thought of getting glutened while I am trying so hard not to is, I guess very discouraging.

I have to work. I can't! I have to cry. I can't!

Soon to be ex who is celiac has been found to be a sociopath. He lives to control in every possible mind tweeking way possible. The judge thinks that in spite of that he is JUST a bad father. Never mind Judge that he has gone to prison for physically abusing his other children and oh yeah it turns out now he is an unregistered sex offender against children. Why can't they just make him leave us alone?! But no, the Judge keeps saying that he will eventually have unsupervised visitation with our daughter. Forget him! Why can't the judge just leave us alone?

Anyone? Got anything?

[Lisa]

I am sorry that you are going through such a difficult time.

Regarding load noises, yes, I am very sensitive. But, not before Celiac. Load music, sudden load noises, elevated volume on the TV....all rattle me and I get very anxious.

[UR Groovy]

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. The justice system isn't very good at handing out justice. They're really good at screwing people, however.

I had a very different experience with the head docs. If I hadn't had therapy (lots of therapy), I don't think I'd be here. The coping techniques were invaluable. I hope that if you do decide to go back to that that you find a doc that works for you.

I did have pretty serious issues with sounds pretty much all my life. When I was a kid, the worst were related to high-pitched sounds - like those store alarms that are silent to everyone else - I used to scream when we went into the exchange (military store) because the sound would penetrate my head (as a little girl).

I've always had issues with loud noises - anything loud or unexpected - weedwackers, jackhammers, any kind of percussion sound that was outside. I'd just want to wrap up in a ball. And I would be perpetually frustrated if there were some noise I didn't like. I could never calm down when this was going on. I've always carried earplugs with me. Put me in a room with a crowd where everyone is talking, and I would run for the nearest exit. It felt like the walls were literally pushing all the people closer & closer and enveloping me. If I wore my earplugs, I was okay.

Hope I'm not "going on" too much here, but ...

Strangely, I've always loved music - and very complicated, loud music. I played Piano, French Horn, and Trumpet - many years - band and orchestra.

I loved speed metal when I was younger (I'm 40). I wasn't that "type", but I loved the sound. Give me complicated music (Primus, Tommy the Cat, for example) that I can pick apart and separate by tone, and I'm in heaven. I don't really understand what's different about a percussion section in a marching band (which I love) and a construction crew working down the street (which used to make me completely insane). Maybe it's something to do with Rhythm?

I've noticed that I don't have nearly the sensory issues since December. I still have the high-pitched hearing, but it doesn't feel like metal fragments are scraping my brain anymore.

I hope things lighten up for you soon.

[sillyactsue]

Thanks,

I do have Al-anon and they do teach coping skills. I think I have to much going on for to long and getting glutened clinched the inability to even want to cope. It helped a little to rant and then my three year old and I had a few laughs together and that helped. I was eventually able to get a few hours of work done as well. I moved the puppys carrier to a back room so I could hear when she needs out but it is not as if she was sitting on my shoulder barking.

Ear plugs huh? I remember once in a meeting of many talking women we were brainstorming about something creative we wanted to do. I had to stick my fingers in my ears and close my eyes in order to stay in the room AND think at the same time. I came up with a great idea that we used but later I found out that some of them thought this was my way of trying to control them. I don't really see how shutting down to much sensory input would control someone else but I guess they had a different perspective than I did.

You know..........hmm. If I got earplugs I would still be able to hear but things would be more muted. And less controlling looking.

I'm going to try that.