I Need A Thorough List For Mil

[celiac-mommy]

I'll start out by saying--no way in hell am I going to let my 6 yo go to Idaho for 2 weeks this summer by herself. 2 reasons--#1-I'm not ready to let her spend more than a weekend away-I told my MIL maybe next summer, #2-they don't understand this "Celiac thing" but they say they are willing to learn. My dh told her it's not just buying the right kinds of foods, it's everything in the kitchen/house that poses a risk for her super sensitive stomach. They said they would go gluten-free for the entire time, I still said NO, but in fairness, they want to know EVERYTHING, no matter how much, they'd have to do in order for us to feel comfortable. (I said they can come over here and stay in OUR house and we'd leave, but they just put in a pool primarily for the kids) They're also trying to make us feel guilty because we let them stay with my mom--who lives gluten-free and understands, plus she did all the research herself and then I just added to it. My MIL doesn't want to do the research herself, she wants ME to make the list for her, so I will. Dh told her it would be obscenely long, and she didn't care. So, this starts my question, or plead for help: Help me make a list of EVERYTHING they will need to live gluten-free for 2 weeks (next summer.....) I also know, I can make all of her food for the 2 weeks, but that doesn't excite me either! Also, my dh and I are in complete agreement about this situation, so I need to make this list LONG and totally complete!

I'll start:

I have a list already of the food brands

New pots and pans-exclusive for gluten-free cooking

New cookie sheet

New cooking utensils

New collinder

New cutting board

No using BBQ

New toaster

Complete scrubbing of the microwave

Own container of PB, Jelly, Butter

Squeeze containers of mayo and mustard

I know more will come to me, but I'm hungry so I need to go eat Could you help me add to the list??

[Ridgewalker]

The fact that they're willing to go gluten-free for the time she's there is really nice! That should be a little relief to you. My kids' dad, as much as he loves us, hasn't even been willing to do that.

How about a list of common, safe medications that she might need? Such as Benedryl, Advil, etc. Only the specific, safe brand names that you list, no generics.

A complete wipe down of every kitchen surface before she gets there would be smart, and if people eat in the living room you may even want to consider having them shampoo the upholstered furniture-- or at least vacuum it. My kids aren't even allowed to sit in my husband's recliner.

I assume you'll send her safe toiletries with her?

Tell them to consider Celiac to be like a peanut allergy. Even invisible, microscopic gluten can hurt her.

Are they wanting to take her anyplace to eat out? That's tricky, and might not be a good idea.

Maybe, make a good, complete list of things that people often don't think about ingesting, such as:

-Vitamins

-Toothpaste

-Shampoo

-Soap

-Handsoap

-Lotion

-lip balm

-gum

-mints

-sunscreen

-non-stick cooking spray (some contain flour)

I'll keep thinking...

[dandelionmom]

Art supplies must be checked

The entire kitchen needs a thorough scrub even things they may not think of like the sugar bowl

Pet food (if applicable) must be checked

Grandma's make-up (especially hand lotion and lipstick)

[Phyllis28]

Eating out also needs to be addressed. If you don't want her to eat out make sure they know. You could also send printouts of gluten free menus from various restaurants with instructions on how to order if you are comfortable with this.

[gfpaperdoll]

Hand washing when taking child to public places

cleaning out their car

what are they going to say when other relatives & friends visit & want to bring in wheaty foods?

games & toys should be washed/wiped clean

If grandmother uses one of those wooden blocks to store butcher knives - the crevises will have gluten crumbs & you cannot get them out.

not only empty the sugar bowl & wash it - but the sugar canister as well - because it will also be cross contaminated if she bakes.

put any flour in double plastic bags & then in a sealed container.

change the air filters in the AC/furnace

change the vacuum cleaner bag

does she use a dust-buster in the kitchen?

if the child gets sick are they aware that diahrrea & vomiting can cause dehydration & very quickly in a child?

are they going to let her visit in neighbors or other relatives homes? anyone cooking with flour or a cake mix & the child WILL be sick.

You have to be careful when you take her places.

This happened to me this weekend. I went into an ice cream parlor with my granddaughter & dil to get gd an ice cream & as we were paying I got a nose full of brownie mix that another girl had just poured some liquid into a big bowl of the mix, right next to the check out behind a plexi glass barrier, sigh. even my dil could tell it was in the air. OMG, that was Saturday, today is Thursday & I am still sick from it. I had to give money to dil & walk out - & I am dairy free & did not even get an ice cream

I would also require them to buy & read several books on gluten...

good luck

[home-based-mom]

I hate it when people won't do their own research and expect you to do for them what they are perfectly capable of doing for themselves. (I know a few of them!)

Anyway, I would make a list of foods your daughter cannot have. Sometimes people forget just how many common things contain wheat. Include the obvious spaghetti, cereals, breads, cakes & cupcakes, cookies, donuts, etc, but also things they might not think about such as pizza and ice cream cones. And always every kid's favorite, mac and cheese.

Remember: no Play doh

Use the dog poop analogy. No one would handle dog poop directly or indirectly without thoroughly washing everything. Anything that has ever touched wheat has to be treated the same way. An if you can't get it out, such as in the peanut butter or mayo jar, throw it out or at least quarantine it and get a new one to use for the visit.

[purple]

dish rags

dish towels

kitchen towels

ziploc bags with the zipper, to store things and to take a box

"left over"plastic containers

pot holders

no knife double dipping in pb & jelly

candy/treats

toaster cover for the gluten-free toaster

seasonings

directions

Celiac books... she needs to read beforehand or she won't understand the importance

label everything gluten-free boldly

Wash TV/video games/computer controls/keyboard if needed

scrub fridge/freezer

grocery store sacks from grandma's...don't reuse or carry wheat flour from the store in them

wash grandma's spice/flour/baking cupboards/canisters/containers

scrub dishwasher/toaster oven/silverware trays and utensil drawers/oven

tell grandma its worse than head lice...you can't see them and they are "poisonous"

no cooking/art aprons

keep your child out of the kitchen/garage as much as possible

no table cloths/cloth napkins/placemats

horses? oats/grains/hay

cut grandma's fingernails??

don't use grandma's: vegetable scrubbing brushes/CANOPENERS/waffle iron/kitchen scissors/duster and dust rags/kitchen fans/electric mixers/cookie cooling racks

tell her not to bake anything with wheat flour/boxed mixes (their favorite thing to do for grandkids)it will recontaminate the whole kitchen

if she vacuums it will stir up the dust, do beforehand ---and then ---after your child leaves

mop kitchen floor

shake kitchen throw rugs

[celiac-mommy]

Thank you all for the great suggestions!! I'm cutting and pasting as we speak! Keep 'em coming

[strawberrygm]

am i the only newbie totally overwhelmed by this post??

i appreciate all the info ... wow ... my head is spinning

[RainyZ]

Can you buy her a book? It wouldn't be her own research. She's going to have to read whatever you give her.

Personally, I would feel more comfortable with my MIL if she read it from a third party "authority" versus me telling her. I have a wonderful relationship wtih my MIL but I would be concerned that she felt I was overdoing it - which even my husband hinted at before I made him read the book. Once he did that and looked online for himself, he no longer had any issues with the house going gluten-free. He even bought me a new toaster oven for my dd and I. He and my son can eat whatever they want away from the home without my dd and I there.

Anyone, no matter who they are, expresses disbelief at the measures we must take to avoid gluten. It is pretty overwhelming and astounding.... A book would help counter that.

HTH

[celiac-mommy]

Can you buy her a book? It wouldn't be her own research. She's going to have to read whatever you give her.

Personally, I would feel more comfortable with my MIL if she read it from a third party "authority" versus me telling her. I have a wonderful relationship wtih my MIL but I would be concerned that she felt I was overdoing it - which even my husband hinted at before I made him read the book. Once he did that and looked online for himself, he no longer had any issues with the house going gluten-free. He even bought me a new toaster oven for my dd and I. He and my son can eat whatever they want away from the home without my dd and I there.

Anyone, no matter who they are, expresses disbelief at the measures we must take to avoid gluten. It is pretty overwhelming and astounding.... A book would help counter that.

HTH

The book idea is great. Anyone have any suggestions? I don't want to offend her by giving her gluten-free for dummies... My husband has been the one mainly communicating with her. I understand that if you aren't living with this on a daily basis, you really have no complete understanding of what it's like, no matter how much you read. It's all the little things that you have to worry about, stuff that years later I'm still realizing I make mistakes--no matter how careful I try to be. To her credit, she really wants to try, and my husband was the one that told me to make the most detailed list imaginable, no matter how rediculous it may seem to someone else!

[Juliet]

Gluten Free for Dummies actually isn't bad, despite the title.

You know, just to give you a little bit of relief, my in-laws wanted us to come and wanted to learn how to take care of our kids for days/weeks at a time without us. So, before we tried that out, we actually spent 5 days at their house over Thanksgiving. We bought a (relatively) inexpensive set of stainless steel pans (that they could use later and not be gluten free but because it was stainless it's easier to clean it so that you can use it later and be relatively safe from cross contamination), a small set of mixing bowls and cheap mixing utensils, one new muffin pan, a small cutting board, a super cheap toaster, and some off-brand Silpats for cookie sheets (they're silicone baking mats - keep them gluten free and always use the same side and cross contamination is kept down to a minimum). All of these items were to stay at their house exclusively for us. We brought our own knives and Pamela's baking mix as well as a few snack items, frozen gluten free pie crust from Whole Foods (it was defrosted by the time we got there, but I had kept it refrigerated the whole trip) and a loaf of bread that I made just for the trip that we put in the freezer once we got there. They had cleaned out their refrigerator and placed all their gluten items on the bottom shelf, the rest was dedicated to gluten free. They wiped down all the counters, stove, microwave and regular ovens, floors, cabinet doors, everything. The regular flour was actually sealed up in a large baggie, too, as well as placed away from everything else. They aren't big bakers anyway, so the mixes and stuff really weren't there. They vacuumed EVERYTHING, too.

I did do all the cooking (mainly because I'm the better cook ), but I showed them how to make the pancakes they like. And nearly everything else they regularly make would be fine (basic meat, rice, potatoes, steamed veggies) as long as they used gluten free substitutes for the bread and dressing. We didn't have any upsets at all. They refrained from eating gluten while we were there, and they had so hidden all the possible gluten contaminated items there was absolutely no confusion. And the Thanksgiving dinner was a real success - both thought it was the best they ever had. And honestly, I thought it was the best I ever had, too, and it was my first attempt at roasting a turkey!

To make it easier for you, maybe stay there at first for a couple of days. Show them the routine the first day then oversee the second day. And I'd also just nicely say that to make things easier on everyone, no going out at all except for maybe to a Baskin Robbins or something where the allergens are easily listed and you just tell them to use a clean scoop. If they really want to be with their grandchild, not going out to eat for a couple of weeks isn't that much of a sacrifice.

[celiac-mommy]

To make it easier for you, maybe stay there at first for a couple of days. Show them the routine the first day then oversee the second day. And I'd also just nicely say that to make things easier on everyone, no going out at all except for maybe to a Baskin Robbins or something where the allergens are easily listed and you just tell them to use a clean scoop. If they really want to be with their grandchild, not going out to eat for a couple of weeks isn't that much of a sacrifice.

That's funny, we did try this at Thanksgiving this year also. No matter how much I explained things to her and how I tried to get her to understand, she still thought things like: Dusting the turkey with flour before we put it in the cooking bag BEACUSE we could just peel off the skin and she wouldn't have to eat it (!!!!!!!) And then she refused to let me make all the pies, or at least had to remake the pumpkin ones because gluten-free pies couldn't possibly taste good. These are the things that scare me. I know she really wants to try..... She also said they wouldn't eat out at all while she was there because they didn't feel comfortable ordering the correct way.