Bursts Of Anger

[finlayson]

I was interested to know if others have experienced feeling angry at having celiacs disease and if so, how they cope with it. I was diagnosed in November of 08 so am still new at this. My family (husband and three children) are vegetarians and we have a nut/peanut allergy in the house. I am also now dairy free until I heal so my food choices are quite reduced from before the diagnosis. Our choice as a family has been to have a 'blended' house so gluten is allowed in the house (but no wheat flour in the kitchen). This is the arrangement that I am most happy with - except there are times that I find myself really angry - at whom I am not really sure - maybe the disease or my family members when I see them eating things in front of me that I can no longer have. I feel really confused because I want them to eat all these things - so why do I feel angry and sad? I keep finding myself going to have a bath so i do not have to look at them eating! At least I'll be clean (then I'll find myself in the bath wondering if the bubble bath is gluten-free grrrrrr.)

So, are these feelings normal - I sort of feel it's like mourning, all these mood swings as I adapt to my new life. But I really do not want to give my family guilt complexes because they do not have the disease. Sometimes my kids forget and offer me something I cannot have. They're kids so of course they forget but then i get sad because for me this disease is currently all consuming and they can forget! If I am not cooking a gluten-free meal, I'm thinking of what I can eat at the next meal. I'm so tired of thinking gluten-free. I feel as if I have become the disease and lost myself. PLEASE tell me this will pass.

Thanks for listening.

[foodiegurl]

I could have written the same thing, except I only have one child.

I found out in February, and have been gluten-free for 2 weeks now, and it has been tough, and yes, all-consuming my thoughts. Now, I find myself stressing about a wedding we are supposed to go to out-of-town in May, and how am I going to handle eating on the road, etc...

I am sad that a couple of months ago, I was completely clueless about Celiac and had no symptoms that I knew of.

I am sad that NOW that i cut out gluten, I have tummy issues when I did not have them before.

And like you, instead of a bath, I will take a hot shower when I need to get away.

Sorry, I don't have better advice for you, I just wanted to let you know, I can totally sympathize with you.

hugs!

[ravenwoodglass]

It will pass and it is normal. Many of us do go through a bit of a grief process and having it around does, I think, make it harder at times.

Try to keep some comfort food that you can eat on hand. Whether it is strawberries or another fruit dipped in melted chocolate, gluten free cupcakes that you can make ahead and freeze, whatever you like the most. The bath is a good way to cope and you can ask here what folks favorite bubbles are.

Anyway, know your not alone.

[hhdavid]

I get angry too. Like when my kids visit and they order pizza. Bless their hearts, they eat it outside and won't bring it in my house, and that was their decision, not mine. I get angry when I have to go to the bathroom, because I practically lived in there for months and was just sick of looking at the bathroom. Or when I'm driving and I pass restaurants I won't eat in anymore. And when I'm trying to decide what to eat. Sometimes it pisses me off so much I just say 'forget it' and don't eat. And I'm usually in a bad mood when I leave the grocery store.

I try to stay positive most of the time, and remind myself that at least now I know what's wrong and can make changes, and I do feel a lot better that before I went gluten-free, I feel like getting out of bed now.

I also try to remind myself that I suffered a loss, even if it is just the foods I loved it's still a loss. Like ravenwoodglass said, there is a grief process involved here, and anger is a part of that and it will pass in time. And I write about my feelings as it seems to help.

Good luck. You aren't alone. We're right there with you.

[msmini14]

I was the same way and I so feel your pain, but like others said it will pass. It consumed my entire life too, I hated it. I cried when I went out with family or friends because it hurt so much watching them eat all of that food. Even food I didnt eat before I went gluten-free, it was hard. It will become second nature to you soon, it just takes time.

When you are going to be around other people eating your favorite gluten item you need to have something on hand that you like and can eat. Example, I will be attending an awards ceremony this week and there will be food there. I am going to bring my little cooler with my dinner and a yummy desert. I know that can be rough at first but you will get used to it. People might look at you or they might ask why and that is ok you can sum up celiac to them. Some people are very interested because they might have a friend or family member who has always had problems.

Baking muffins, cupcakes, cookies, etc and freezing works out awesome! I do that all the time now, just make a couple of batches, wrap them up and freeze.

Google gluten free recepies, there are so many sites out there you just have to experiment. If it doesnt turn out right that is ok. Try agian.

We are all here in good times and bad. It will get better. I have been gluten-free for over 1 year now and it is much easier now. I look at 90% of gluten and think, why did I ever eat that??? yuck! hehe. I cant lie and say pizza doesnt look good though lol. Good luck to you =)

[quietmorning01]

I was interested to know if others have experienced feeling angry at having celiacs disease and if so, how they cope with it. I was diagnosed in November of 08 so am still new at this. My family (husband and three children) are vegetarians and we have a nut/peanut allergy in the house. I am also now dairy free until I heal so my food choices are quite reduced from before the diagnosis. Our choice as a family has been to have a 'blended' house so gluten is allowed in the house (but no wheat flour in the kitchen). This is the arrangement that I am most happy with - except there are times that I find myself really angry - at whom I am not really sure - maybe the disease or my family members when I see them eating things in front of me that I can no longer have. I feel really confused because I want them to eat all these things - so why do I feel angry and sad? I keep finding myself going to have a bath so i do not have to look at them eating! At least I'll be clean (then I'll find myself in the bath wondering if the bubble bath is gluten-free grrrrrr.)

So, are these feelings normal - I sort of feel it's like mourning, all these mood swings as I adapt to my new life. But I really do not want to give my family guilt complexes because they do not have the disease. Sometimes my kids forget and offer me something I cannot have. They're kids so of course they forget but then i get sad because for me this disease is currently all consuming and they can forget! If I am not cooking a gluten-free meal, I'm thinking of what I can eat at the next meal. I'm so tired of thinking gluten-free. I feel as if I have become the disease and lost myself. PLEASE tell me this will pass.

Thanks for listening.

Hi, finlayson - any time you suffer a loss - there is grief, any time there is grief, there HAS to be anger or you will not be able to move into acceptance. It is a process and your mind knows exactly how to work through the process if you will let it.

This is a huge change. . .we relate to food in such a personal way. . .it was our security as an infant - it's a part of us. ..even though we often take it totally for granted. When food becomes something to fear, then that all in itself is an identity crunch.

So, yes, it's not only ok to be angry, it's NECESSARY. You won't be able to accept the new until you are totally completely ticked off at what you have lost - so much so that you are willing to do the things to bring your life back to a new you in balance with what you have to deal with. Use the anger to get you moving forward. It's a good thing. . even if it DOES feel really crappy most of the time. It's a great motivator.

There will come a time when you will begin to slowly fill that loss cavern up with great or better replacements. You'll learn the ropes and make it work for you. It takes time, though, so be very patient with yourself.

Heh. . .and while you're at it, why not go for some just desert, get yourself something gluten free that is absolutely heavenly (double fudge brownies?) and well. . .they can't have it. . .they aren't celiac. . .so there. **scrunches nose**

**wink**

It'll get better. . .just take time.

[Jenny (AZ via TX)]

Yep, I was not happy at all when dx'd. I still miss being able to go to any restaurant with my friends and sharing different dishes. Just the bonding of it. Oh well, not an option any more. I still get really anxious going to restaurants, so it's just not as enjoyable as it used to be. I go to the ones that have worked for me so far.

The positive is that I feel so much better! Can't believe it. Used to have chronic sinus infections and allergies. Have not had one sinus infection since going gluten-free and it's only been one year. Hang in there. It gets easier but every now and then I have my own little pity party. Then I move on.

Also, give it time. It took months before I felt better. I'm still not 100%, but way better than I used to be.

[finlayson]

I was interested to know if others have experienced feeling angry at having celiacs disease and if so, how they cope with it. I was diagnosed in November of 08 so am still new at this. My family (husband and three children) are vegetarians and we have a nut/peanut allergy in the house. I am also now dairy free until I heal so my food choices are quite reduced from before the diagnosis. Our choice as a family has been to have a 'blended' house so gluten is allowed in the house (but no wheat flour in the kitchen). This is the arrangement that I am most happy with - except there are times that I find myself really angry - at whom I am not really sure - maybe the disease or my family members when I see them eating things in front of me that I can no longer have. I feel really confused because I want them to eat all these things - so why do I feel angry and sad? I keep finding myself going to have a bath so i do not have to look at them eating! At least I'll be clean (then I'll find myself in the bath wondering if the bubble bath is gluten-free grrrrrr.)

So, are these feelings normal - I sort of feel it's like mourning, all these mood swings as I adapt to my new life. But I really do not want to give my family guilt complexes because they do not have the disease. Sometimes my kids forget and offer me something I cannot have. They're kids so of course they forget but then i get sad because for me this disease is currently all consuming and they can forget! If I am not cooking a gluten-free meal, I'm thinking of what I can eat at the next meal. I'm so tired of thinking gluten-free. I feel as if I have become the disease and lost myself. PLEASE tell me this will pass.

Thanks for listening.

[finlayson]

I was interested to know if others have experienced feeling angry at having celiacs disease and if so, how they cope with it. I was diagnosed in November of 08 so am still new at this. My family (husband and three children) are vegetarians and we have a nut/peanut allergy in the house. I am also now dairy free until I heal so my food choices are quite reduced from before the diagnosis. Our choice as a family has been to have a 'blended' house so gluten is allowed in the house (but no wheat flour in the kitchen). This is the arrangement that I am most happy with - except there are times that I find myself really angry - at whom I am not really sure - maybe the disease or my family members when I see them eating things in front of me that I can no longer have. I feel really confused because I want them to eat all these things - so why do I feel angry and sad? I keep finding myself going to have a bath so i do not have to look at them eating! At least I'll be clean (then I'll find myself in the bath wondering if the bubble bath is gluten-free grrrrrr.)

So, are these feelings normal - I sort of feel it's like mourning, all these mood swings as I adapt to my new life. But I really do not want to give my family guilt complexes because they do not have the disease. Sometimes my kids forget and offer me something I cannot have. They're kids so of course they forget but then i get sad because for me this disease is currently all consuming and they can forget! If I am not cooking a gluten-free meal, I'm thinking of what I can eat at the next meal. I'm so tired of thinking gluten-free. I feel as if I have become the disease and lost myself. PLEASE tell me this will pass.

Thanks for listening.

I appreciate all the replies. It really does help to know that we're not alone. I need to get past the stage where all I am thinking about is food. It seems to be consuming (there's an appropriate word!) every minute of the day. I never thought I would find myself in a situation where I would resent my own family for eating food that I can't, and resent the fact that they don't seem to realise how much this all upsets me, yet at the same time I don't want to harp on at them until they feel guilty about eating what they have always eaten. Aren't emotions complicated? The head and the heart certainly do see things differently.