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How To Deal With Questions At Social Situations?

hilwacat

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hilwacat Rookie
hilwacat
Posted

Hi everyone, it's been a year since I was diagnosed with Celiac and I'm feeling great. I've adjusted to the diet, and because I'm feeling so good I don't view it as a sacrifice.

The problem is that it seems at dinners and family gatherings someone will ask a lot of questions. I'm sure they do it because they care, but it makes me feel singled out and embarrassed. Even the most basic details this condition are, to say the least, unappetizing.

How does everyone deal with situation?

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Pegleg84 Collaborator
Pegleg84
Posted

Hi,

glad you're doing well with the diet.

I try to be open about the whole gluten-free thing, though not blibber on about it too much. You shouldn't be embarrased to talk about legitimate health problems, but of course, if you feel uncomfortable, just say that you don't want to get into the yucky details. (bathroom problems are not always appropriate for dinner talk). Stick you your comfort level, only answer questions you want to, and i'm sure your family and friends will respect you for that. At the same time, its good to make them understand what Celiac is and why its so important for you to eat gluten-free. that's my take on it anyway

good luck

Peggy

one more mile Contributor
one more mile
Posted

I answer the questions. I start general then get more detailed if people are interested and seem to be learning. I figure my discomfort may help the person if they develop this illness or if another person they know had the illness. One of the reasons my mom is so accepting of this is because a friend of hers got it when pregnant and explained it to her bingo buddies.

Usually I find the word "irregularity" sounds better then mention the big D at meals. but only really refer to that if questioned a lot. Since this is genetic I am more then happy to help open my families eyes. I suspect that some of them have the same problem as I do.

Takala Enthusiast
Takala
Posted

I have an atypical reaction to gluten and it gave me such bizarre problems (another autoimmune arthritis, kidney problems, early bone loss, and neuro symptoms mimicking MS) almost nobody would believe me anyway, so it doesn't matter. I just say most of my problems resolved somewhat other than the fatigue and lingering nerve damage, and I'm stuck with some arthritic changes, so I'm very happy to be able to function again. If they want the gory details they can hear all about the kidneys, that would make anybody's eyes glaze over. Hmm, what else.... the brain lesions are a good one. You see, if I list everything, yet I look normal enough, it sounds like I am making it up. Oh well.

Storm Apprentice
Storm
Posted

I got asked recently if it was by choice that I am gluten free and I was just following a trend with the rich & famous!!

I also got told that "Gluten free is for wimps" .... but my reply was "No... not for wimps, I just don't enjoy spending an hour with my head down the toilet after I have eaten any gluten based meal"

I have not had any other smart comments, but if people ask, I will tell them. If they offer me food, I will ask for it's ingredients or how it was cooked before eating it. I am not embarrassed about having Celiac Disease.... for me, it's a diet that I have HAD to change to for my health, simple as...

I would and always will be honest. You shouldn't have to justify your food choices to anyone, but if people ask, then don't be embarrassed to say so.

lizajane Rookie
lizajane
Posted
I got asked recently if it was by choice that I am gluten free and I was just following a trend with the rich & famous!!

I also got told that "Gluten free is for wimps" .... but my reply was "No... not for wimps, I just don't enjoy spending an hour with my head down the toilet after I have eaten any gluten based meal"

I have not had any other smart comments, but if people ask, I will tell them. If they offer me food, I will ask for it's ingredients or how it was cooked before eating it. I am not embarrassed about having Celiac Disease.... for me, it's a diet that I have HAD to change to for my health, simple as...

I would and always will be honest. You shouldn't have to justify your food choices to anyone, but if people ask, then don't be embarrassed to say so.

yuck, what idiots...

i, too, vomit with gluten exposure. but rather than go into throwing up... when people ask me about celiac, i tend to go with the overall disease and most serious consequences.

my most common questions are:

how did you get it all of a sudden/how did you know after so long (i am almost 34)?

celiac can be triggered by stress, trauma, surgery, illness, pregnancy... mine was probably my 2nd pregnancy because i have been feeling really tired and awful for about 4 years and finally, my body just couldn't take it anymore.

so you can just not eat bread?

no, gluten is in all sorts of things. like soy sauce and vinegar. it isn't an allergy that makes me get sick for a day and then it is gone. it is an autoimmune disease.

but what happens if you just eat it anyway?

because it is an autoimmune disease, the body responds to the foreign invader- which is gluten- so you can end up with lymphoma. so yeah, i work pretty hard to not eat it because i rather not get cancer.

mysecretcurse Contributor
mysecretcurse
Posted

Personally I love when people ask questions, and I love answering them. I have no problem talking about myself. ;) lol

It's really a good thing, because the more awareness is spread, the better our lives get.

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mattathayde Apprentice
mattathayde
Posted

im pretty open with it as i dont care much, if i am trying to be polite i say "digestive issues" or "lower gi issues". it also helps when i explain that the gluten is going into the blood stream and that any one would have most of the other issues if they had gluten in their blood streams ( from i have seen in research). honestly i dont care what others think about it, i get sick if i eat gluten and i dont want to get sick and poison my body so if some one is going to be a prick, screw them

-matt

heathen Apprentice
heathen
Posted

It stinks to be the only one who is "eating funny," but the more people you can educate about this disease, the better it will be. And with 1 in 133 people having Celiac Disease, you might actually help someone get the diagnosis they need!

mysecretcurse Contributor
mysecretcurse
Posted

So true. A friend talking about gluten and her family's issues with it was what led to me discovering I was also intolerant. Thank God! I'd probably not be alive now otherwise.

one more mile Contributor
one more mile
Posted
It stinks to be the only one who is "eating funny," but the more people you can educate about this disease, the better it will be. And with 1 in 133 people having Celiac Disease, you might actually help someone get the diagnosis they need!

How true! Just last night I started talking to a woman about a totally other topic and she mentioned that she might be gluten intolerant so I told her what I knew and mentioned this web page to her. I would have never thought she was one of us but I hope I helped her a little bit. Sometimes it just helps knowing there are others around me dealing with the same thing.

mattathayde Apprentice
mattathayde
Posted

when i talk to people that have a laundry list of med issues (that seem to at least kind of fit) i tell them to look at it, i would bet that a few of my friends a a lot of my family has it but of course they just kind of listen then say what ever

looking back there was a kid i met a few years back that now i know he either had celiac/gluten intolerance or chrons but either way i wish i could get in touch with him again to tell him to look at gluten-free cause he was really really bad, he would go through bottles of pepto, he killed 1/4 of an industrial sized one in like 2 days, i only was around him for a weekend but it seemed like this was very common for him

-matt

taweavmo3 Enthusiast
taweavmo3
Posted

This is still a struggle for me.....I'm really, really shy and any attention on me makes me uncomfortable. So shy that I actually begged people NOT to throw me baby showers, lol. So getting bombarded with questions about a disease that causes mainly GI symptoms for me? I'd rather stick hot pins in my eyes honestly.

But, I try my hardest in hopes that someone will benefit from even hearing about Celiac. At my daughter's birthday party a few weeks ago, my neighbor mentioned how good the gluten free cupcakes were, and that set off a firestorm of questions! It was good though....turns out the hostess eats gluten free, and one of the moms at the party has Celiac on her husband's side of the family. So of course, we swapped diagnosis details. One of the other moms starting asking me a bunch of questions, b/c a kid she knows has symptoms.

It's easier to talk about my child than myself though.....I still get uneasy when I have to explain (over and over again to the same people usually) my diet to people at work. I wouldn't mind, except sometimes I get the feeling people just ask to be nosy, not b/c they really care, kwim?

This is awful, b/c it's totally innacurate I know, but if I'm just not in the mood to field a gazillion personal questions and don't feel like giving the Celiac tutorial, I just claim "allergy" and call it a day, lol. That's bad, but sometimes you just need an easy out!

grey Explorer
grey
Posted

I know what you mean - I always hated birthdays in school because everyone would stare at you during the singing! For that matter, I never sent anything back or liked to ask too many questions of waiters, etc.

In some ways, celiac has been good for me, learning to do these kind of things; it's gradually getting easier. Although, sometimes, I will avoid a situation if I feel too overwhelmed to answer questions.

Mostly though, I enjoy talking with people about celiac if they seem interested. I think it's funny that I ended up having celiac when I'm so embarrassed about talking about digestive symptoms. The most I'll ever say is "GI problems". Nobody, except those who are dealing with stuff themselves, has ever gone further, and nobody's ever - even when they have a laundry list of symptoms - asked me more questions! Sometimes I'll say something like your body can't absorb nutrients from food - without the details. "Multisystemic autoimmune disorder" ... and mention symptoms like fatigue and migraines.

One thing to remember is that most people don't embarrass that easily about this stuff, so it's really about your comfort level. (And that that's important too).

And, I too, when in public will sometimes default to food allergies, or even just "funky food issues"!

Lucky you to have found some people to talk with.

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