My Health Depends On It

[magpie]

my husband tell's me that I over react to CC , what do you think . I have been gluten-free a littel over 2 yrs after having lived w/ celiac disease for 65 yrs , really really sick @ time of diagnoses I got right w/ the program but continue to be sick to this day dr's say after all thoes yrs the damage is done and the only thing to do is maintain a strick gluten-free diet and I do so heres what I think is also making me stay sick We live in a trailer so really not much room to do anything I have a spot on the table where I keep my silverware , 2 small pots ,frying pan and a small dishpan to wash my dishes in , I cover this little bundel w/ a towel . I wash all other dishes in the sink . I have the top shelf of the fridge for gluten-free item's and a small cupboard for gluten-free dry goods I am constantly cleaning the kitchen . I have explaned to my husband the need to use plate , papertowles or napkin when he butters his toast he says no need and brushes his crumbs on to his hand and dumps them in the basket . no hand washing ( to remind him is to be a nag ) my husband does not eat gluten-free only, and eats 3 / 4 slices of butterd bread w/ his meal so sitting 2 arm's lenghts away from me he eats his bread 's cakes ect w/out the use of a napkin somtimes w/out a plate , he has a full beard and after he eats he sit's running his fingers through this beard shaking out the crumbs , to say anything is again to be told I'm obsessing so I have to bite my tounge last night was the straw that nearly broke the camel's back ( me the camel ) I had made some chicken stew , using all gluten-free utensil's ,he searves him-self a plate I ask what did you serve that with he says a spoon out of the drawer WHY he says, why , why do you think I keep all thee'se thing's separeated , he say's I dont know , it does not help , its all in your head . I exploded " you just dont get it do you" no he say's" you dont get it all the things you do, does not help, your sick because the damage is allready done ( yet if you where to hear him tell the Drs how carefull I am super carefull ) I beleve he's CC me , he say's he's not, if I'm wrong I'll say sorry till the cows come home any input would help, cheers

[msmini14]

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. This is what I would do. It is drastic but what is the worse that can happen?

I would throw all the gluten food away and the pots/pans you cooked with. Clean out your pantry, etc and start over with gluten-free foods. There is a lot out there to choose from. Buy him a bit of gluten-free bread, try to replace the food he enjoys. Cook for the both of you and make sure there are little snacks around that he can just grab and eat.

You live in small quarters and he needs to respect you and your health. If he wants to continue eating gluten I would put the food in the outside storage you might have? And tell to eat it outside. All though that doesnt solve the beard issue.

Throw all gluten food out! hehe

I respect you for wanting to get better and heal after the years of pain you went through. Some people dont want to change and since they lived with it most of their life they can deal with for awhile more.

Good luck to you

[ang1e0251]

My husband is not gluten-free but he is very respectful of me. I might not be as sensitive as you either. I have seen other posters say they could not get well until their home went completely gluten-free. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. You could be sick through CC or it could be something else you are sensitive to. Unless you have the rare type of celiac disease, you should heal in time. If you've had a blood test and are still making antibodies, then you are still being exposed to gluten.

Have you had your blood retested? Maybe that is a way to show your husband you are still exposed to gluten. Since you are so careful it makes sense that it must be CC.

[magpie]

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. This is what I would do. It is drastic but what is the worse that can happen?

I would throw all the gluten food away and the pots/pans you cooked with. Clean out your pantry, etc and start over with gluten-free foods. There is a lot out there to choose from. Buy him a bit of gluten-free bread, try to replace the food he enjoys. Cook for the both of you and make sure there are little snacks around that he can just grab and eat.

You live in small quarters and he needs to respect you and your health. If he wants to continue eating gluten I would put the food in the outside storage you might have? And tell to eat it outside. All though that doesnt solve the beard issue.

Throw all gluten food out! hehe

I respect you for wanting to get better and heal after the years of pain you went through. Some people dont want to change and since they lived with it most of their life they can deal with for awhile more.

Good luck to you

[magpie]

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. This is what I would do. It is drastic but what is the worse that can happen?

I would throw all the gluten food away and the pots/pans you cooked with. Clean out your pantry, etc and start over with gluten-free foods. There is a lot out there to choose from. Buy him a bit of gluten-free bread, try to replace the food he enjoys. Cook for the both of you and make sure there are little snacks around that he can just grab and eat.

You live in small quarters and he needs to respect you and your health. If he wants to continue eating gluten I would put the food in the outside storage you might have? And tell to eat it outside. All though that doesnt solve the beard issue.

Throw all gluten food out! hehe

I respect you for wanting to get better and heal after the years of pain you went through. Some people dont want to change and since they lived with it most of their life they can deal with for awhile more.

Good luck to you

thank you for answering , I was diagnosed as a baby 65 yrs ago w/ celiac , spent the first 3yrs of life in hospital w/ celiac disease ,heard about celiac disease all my life but did not hear the word gluten till I had the biopsi the day I was told about gluten I went home and got rid of every thing in my home that had any conection w/ wheat , barley , oats & rye my whole kitchen was scrubed and 2 sets of everything needed to run a kitchen was replaced . I do all the cooking in the home for my husband and me , he has tried gluten-free bread I have made in the machine also cookies store bought but as he says they just dont do it for him , he cooks his own pancakes (bisouick) and as I said before toast , sandwiches , buttered bread , cookies & cake , I guess my quetion is still the same being in this small space ( I dont go to the supermarket any more because of the bakery would come home so sick )is it possiable that my home is just a total CC lab, he will not wash his hands after eating his goodies and I am to sick and tired trying to keep up am I fighting a loseing battle thanks

[magpie]

My husband is not gluten-free but he is very respectful of me. I might not be as sensitive as you either. I have seen other posters say they could not get well until their home went completely gluten-free. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. You could be sick through CC or it could be something else you are sensitive to. Unless you have the rare type of celiac disease, you should heal in time. If you've had a blood test and are still making antibodies, then you are still being exposed to gluten.

Have you had your blood retested? Maybe that is a way to show your husband you are still exposed to gluten. Since you are so careful it makes sense that it must be CC.

I dont think that I have a rare type of celiac disease and I do feel better since I went compleaty gluten-free, if I did a scale 10 being the worst before going gluten-free and now the scale would be a 7 I just had blood test's done 5/11 still waiting the results , I dont think my other half will ever get it ,I guess I'm looking for ways to just cope thanks for answering, knowing someone took the time for me is priceless

[tarnalberry]

I would tell him, the next time he says, "the damage is done",

"Bull! Your lack of respect has not given me A CHANCE to heal. I'm tired of being sick to compensate for your laziness. Either behave in your gluten eating habits, don't eat gluten in the house, or don't eat in the house at all!"

[msmini14]

Bake your own stuff, so much better than the pre-made. Are you in a place where you can be permenant resident? If so do you have a large freezer you can keep outside? I ask this because if you are able to bake cookies, cake, etc bake it all up and freeze it. There are a lot of good options for goodies out there.

I am sorry he is set in his way, I really am. Did he see how sick you were before you went gluten-free? You need to put your foot down and set it straight. It is going to be hard but you need to do this for yourself.

Remove all the gluten again, you need to be strong and make him realize this is hurting you. Some people dont understand, my mom is like that. When I had to stay with her for 1 month she told me I was like living with someone who had an infectious disease. I had to clean her kitchen before I could cook because she is not very clean. I couldnt chance getting glutened. And this bothered her but I didnt really care lol.

Let us know what your results are. Are you consuming dairy by any chance?

[magpie]

thank's to all , I have been very sick the last week but a lot has happend , I showed my husband all your very wise answers ,I would never, ever say thing's like that to him, then I held on for dear life , and true to form the pit bull came to visit for an hour or so , snaping ,snarling posturing dripping at the mouth saying " you lied to thoes people " on and on no point saying anything (not even know that's the truth ) makes matters worse and prolong's the visit, very stresfull time . 2 days later a mirical happend , out of no where he said to me " I do a lot of fasting so I wont miss the bread " and the next day the toaster was gone and not a word about it since then . yestarday I got the blood test's back ,they tested 200 food's, 59 I 'm alerigic to, veg's , soy ,fruite's ,lentil's , nuts ect ,thee'se are the thing's I eat when I can eat , what I have been living on , or depending on how you look at it been dying on, and very high marks , no suprise on wheat , oats , gluten ( is this separate, it has its own # 3 ) yeast and flaxseed,I started to say to the Dr so that means I still have gluten, and my husband said yes well, I new better to leave it alone , but I hoped he got the message not another word , well on the way home we stopped for a few grocery,s fresh fish (CC) suffering very bad to day and fried cheese sticks I asked if he was going to eat them he said yes why, started to say CC in the car he put them in the back seat and when we got home he ate them . greatfull for the mighty steps foward the toaster is gone and there is no bread in the trailer , and one can always hope

[TES]

thank's to all , I have been very sick the last week but a lot has happend , I showed my husband all your very wise answers ,I would never, ever say thing's like that to him, then I held on for dear life , and true to form the pit bull came to visit for an hour or so , snaping ,snarling posturing dripping at the mouth saying " you lied to thoes people " on and on no point saying anything (not even know that's the truth ) makes matters worse and prolong's the visit, very stresfull time . 2 days later a mirical happend , out of no where he said to me " I do a lot of fasting so I wont miss the bread " and the next day the toaster was gone and not a word about it since then . yestarday I got the blood test's back ,they tested 200 food's, 59 I 'm alerigic to, veg's , soy ,fruite's ,lentil's , nuts ect ,thee'se are the thing's I eat when I can eat , what I have been living on , or depending on how you look at it been dying on, and very high marks , no suprise on wheat , oats , gluten ( is this separate, it has its own # 3 ) yeast and flaxseed,I started to say to the Dr so that means I still have gluten, and my husband said yes well, I new better to leave it alone , but I hoped he got the message not another word , well on the way home we stopped for a few grocery,s fresh fish (CC) suffering very bad to day and fried cheese sticks I asked if he was going to eat them he said yes why, started to say CC in the car he put them in the back seat and when we got home he ate them . greatfull for the mighty steps foward the toaster is gone and there is no bread in the trailer , and one can always hope

You might try the opposite approach...which is try treating that man like a king and tell him how thankful you are for every good thing that he does. NO, it is not fair to you or anything close to it, but possibly it will start something in him to make him change. With him throwing the toaster out, tells me he does care, maybe encouragement instead of frustraion is the way to this guy's heart and your better health!

[mattathayde]

sound a little just like a stubborn man (or are those words just repetitive )

honestly the spoon thing i dont think is a big issue (just hand washing maybe it still is but if you were using a dishwasher i wouldnt worry at all. for pots and pans scrubbing them with abrasive cleaners i think is plenty good.

HOWEVER i do agree that the way he is going about everything is not being very supportive, or very helpful.

my roommate that i share an apartment with up at school is pretty bad (also never cleans but that is another story) but i just know how to work around it and the fact that we dont cook for each other makes it pretty easy, if you take precautions on all your food it shouldnt be a huge deal, but if he takes precautions too then you have double protection.

maybe you just should tell him "fine we will just start cooking for out selves"

edit~ i hadnt read the other post you put up in the thread, he seems like he at least is trying, probably helps when the doctor shows him what is wrong, i think i know the type of person he is and i think deep down he cares he just doesnt always believe everything he hears

good luck

-matt

[Gemini]

You might try the opposite approach...which is try treating that man like a king and tell him how thankful you are for every good thing that he does. NO, it is not fair to you or anything close to it, but possibly it will start something in him to make him change. With him throwing the toaster out, tells me he does care, maybe encouragement instead of frustraion is the way to this guy's heart and your better health!

Yup, that's good, treat the insensitive, borderline abusive husband like a king!?!?!? Can you say "enabler?"

[curlyfries]

he cooks his own pancakes (bisouick) and as I said before toast , sandwiches , buttered bread , cookies & cake

This is a big issue for CC. You probably have Bisquick flour settled on everything in your kitchen.....even if you don't see it.

[JNBunnie1]

Yup, that's good, treat the insensitive, borderline abusive husband like a king!?!?!? Can you say "enabler?"

Hey, he did throw out the toaster. Baby steps.

[mysecretcurse]

He does sound like a bit of a jerk, no offense. And honestly, the whole thing about him eating the bread and brushing the crumbs out of his beard made me want to throw up. It doesn't sound like you are in a good situation at all and I'm sorry. At least he threw out the toaster.. but still..

All I can say is I personally wouldn't tolerate this. I'm happily single right now and will stay that way unless I meet someone who wants to treat me like a princess. I just won't put up with disrespect at all, let alone with matters of my HEALTH, and you shouldn't either.

[magpie]

thank's to all for you'r answers , your right I am an enabler , I have allowed this man to control every thing about my life , I have to practice for hours , how to word a question , that may contain only a few words before presenting it to him , what I say might set him off tipicale case of he say's jump , I have to say how high , I'm alone with this man and have know one and I mean know one to talk to , his church family only know that I am sick ,confined to my home for the past couple of yrs, no one from his church has ever called me or met me but I know how he presents him self a gentel man, thoughtfull , generous , kind, , would you belive that people go to him for healing they say he has the gift of healing that's what he tell's me when he's on a rant at me ( that visious pit bull ) because its my fault that I'm sick "you ate that gluten all your life you made your self sick ". when he calls me from work its not for me, although if you where to over hear his one sided conversation you to would say as his co'workers say what a loving careing husband he is honey driping from his mouth this situation will not change not at my age , I have only now learned to use the computer ( took me nearly 6 months to figure out how to make reply here) and have now found a voice please know its not sympathy I want but help w/ my celiac disease , I just need somone to know how I live w/ this man and this disease and here's a nugget about how bad this disease can get , if you think about having just a little bit of gluten think again , if I was given the choice celiac disease or my husband as mean , visous, hatefull and crule as he can be I would chose him over the celiac disease he leaves, celiac disease is for life I hope it's ok for me to say this

[ang1e0251]

It's OK for you to say that here. It's OK for you to say anything here. This is a safe place for you to speak.

I'm sorry you are in a situation like that. I know I would be devastated to live that way. That said I don't think anyone who is not in your shoes can understand your reasons for staying in your situation. So go ahead and way what you need to say here. I worked for the "boss from hell" and was forced into a car ride of 3 hours each way with he and his wife and my husband. His wife commented that he was such a great and kind man, she couldn't understand why so many people he worked with disliked him.

I really do get what you're saying when you describe him as so misunderstood by the world. I wish you peace and tranquility in the midst of your stressfilled days.

[wolfmare]

I recently ended a relationship with someone- it was going down the path you discribe, and it was so gradual that I didn't even really "get it" until my daughter came to visit and I saw thru her eyes how careful I had become with my words... and the lack of respect I was living with. It is abuse, and often the abuser isn't even aware of the depth of sickness involved - on both sides. And I am a very strong, independent woman.

This break up has put me in a stressful finaincial position, along with oh so many other issues, and it still was the best and really only choice I could have made.

I now have the luxury of living in my very own space. Only my food in the fridge. Only my food in the cabinets. (He used to put a loaf of bread right on top of the toaster, in front of my face. I love toast.) Even if a life without him isn't a choice you want to make, I for one am glad that you are here talking about it and feeling the caring that I have also found here.

Hugs and smiles

d