Friends Inviting You To Eat Out...

[possiblyglutensensitive]

My friend is coming to see me from out of town.

We always go to the same vietnamese restaurant when she visits. I called the restaurant and they cannot accomodate gluten-free, they say there are gluten containing sauces in all dishes.

I found 3 other restaurants I will sugggest to my friend. One is a little expensive but beautiful food, local ingredients, game, etc. Another is Thai and vegetarian and the other one is vegan.

She is inviting me to the restaurant so I feel badly for being "complicated". I expressed my strong determination to remain gluten-free (and explained how much better I have been feeling health wise) and she was very understanding.

I just cannot help feeling some grief about this situation.

ps last night I noticed that I was a *little* less exhausted after work and in the evening (when I am usually super tired and just wanna lie in bed and watch tv and fall asleep). Is it possible, is my body finally getting a break so it feels less tired?

[cahill]

I am glad to hear you are feeling better,,, and it sounds like your friend is understand and supports your choice to be gluten free.

I have concerns myself ..... I am wondering how complicated dating is going to be now.

I havent even eaten out at an restaurant since going gluten free and stating to date again scares / terrifies me

[Takala]

One good thing about this is it can force you to expand your horizons and try new things. And there are a lot of restaurants now, compared to even a few years ago, which can offer something gluten free as an option. This is the one advantage of living on the West Coast, because there is so much ethnic cuisine and so much of it is good. As I have gotten better we have been exploring more and trying out new things - I use google searches a lot for gluten free restaurant options.

The first time I got brave enough to try gluten free chinese food off a gluten free menu, I and I didn't get sick afterwards I was pretty ecstatic. I figure this is a win - win situation, I'm helping to support others by ordering the stuff and keeping it on the menu, making it worthwhile for the restaurants, and the waitstaff is getting nice tips because it may be a little pricier. This is why we have all sorts of different restaurants to begin with- to have options for everybody.

[ElseB]

If this person is a true friend then they will understand that you can only eat at certain restaurants. If they insist on eating at a restaurant where nothing is safe for you, then go along but don't eat. Or just have a bowl of plain steamed rice.

[Skylark]

I'm glad you're feeling better! You are doing exactly what I would do, offering a few safe restaurants. As others have said, if this is a true friend she will be happy to eat somewhere else.

[anabananakins]

I think suggesting 3 other restaurants like you've planned is the way to handle it. She can pick from those. I really doubt she's so fond of the place that you always used to go to to insist on going there when you can't eat. You guys will just have to find a new traditon

When friends ask me out to eat, I say "sounds great, where were you thinking of going?". Most of the time, if it's just us, they ask me to pick or suggest somewhere they know I can eat. If it's a group thing and will happen regardless of whether I'm there or not, I'll investigate and decide for myself whether I can go and eat, go and not eat or say I'll meet them later.

If someone vetoed my suggestions and said they really wanted to eat at a place I knew I couldn't eat at for whatever reason (maybe it's an old favourite and they've really missed it) then I would explain that it would mean that they'd be the only one eating, I'd just have a drink, as I don't take risks with this condition. I don't think anyone would push the matter, if only because most people do not like being the only person eating. And if they had really been looking forward to it, then I wouldn't mind accompanying them because I can relate to having cravings for a particular meal I can't get elsewhere.

[possiblyglutensensitive]

Thanks everyone! I think that gthe thing that kept me determined was the fact that I am feelign so much better since going gluten-free. I thought what a wrong thing it would be to eat gluten.

My friend is a great friend. She was totally accepting and supportive and she was happy to try a new restaurant. acutally we went to the Thai place and one of the dishes that was gluten-free was the same dish as our "regular" restaurant - only a better tasting version!

I am in a large city too so there are choices available.

[Skylark]

I'm so glad it worked out!