Spilled Milk? Seriously?!

[Harpgirl]

So I promised my hubby I wouldn't tell anyone yet that he agreed to having another baby(except on this forum), so I'm sorry if I'm boring you guys, but I just have to vent this somewhere!

We just got back Saturday night from vacationing in small towns, and I was really looking forward to eating more than just canned gluten-free soup for a change. Yesterday morning, I wanted something quick so I poured myself a bowl of Chex but the milk soured while we were gone even though it was not past it's expiration. I was so frustrated I slammed the milk down on the counter, forgetting that I had not yet put the cap back on. Some of it spashed on the wall, but I was so hungry, I was more concerned with making myself some eggs instead of cleaning it up. It actually felt relieving to make a mess in my frustration anyway.

So, after arguing all day about him blaming me for not checking the messages on our cell phone (he missed several calls from his boss while we were away), he tells me last night that he doesn't think it's a good idea for us to have three kids at all because he just couldn't believe that I didn't want to clean up the milk that morning. Are you kidding me?! I couldn't make him believe that I was going to clean it up and that at the time, it was more important that get food into my stomach. (I have a tendency to be a bit hypoglycemic.) I couldn't even talk about it with him. I'm so upset, I've been giving him the silent treatment ever since.

[kareng]

I think I might agree with him. He stood there and watched your troubles and didn't help? He blames you because he didn't check for messages from his boss? He is too immature or mean to have more kids with.

Tell him to grow up!

He may just feel over-whelmed being responsible for 2 kids and afraid he can't take care of them much less, another.

But I still think he needs to grow-up!

[Harpgirl]

I think I might agree with him. He stood there and watched your troubles and didn't help? He blames you because he didn't check for messages from his boss? He is too immature or mean to have more kids with.

Tell him to grow up!

He may just feel over-whelmed being responsible for 2 kids and afraid he can't take care of them much less, another.

But I still think he needs to grow-up!

Yeah, that thought crossed my mind last night while I was fuming. Do I really want to have another baby with someone who can be so irrational?! I really do want us to have another one though. He can be really great most of the time. It's just when he gets stressed, he doesn't make any sense. We had such a wonderful week in North Carolina enjoying the leaves turning colors. Yesterday, all the happy relaxed feelings were blown apart. I've been so irritated thinking about it all day, that it was strange to have my mom call this afternoon to tell me what a great visit it was and how nice Leo was to her.

[Skylark]

It sounds like he was trying to get back at you for the phone messages thing, which is immature and petty. Silent treatments are NOT going to improve your marriage. That's just passive-aggressive and breaks down communication rather than improving it. Have you tried falling back on the "when you say ____, it makes me feel ____" pattern? It can be very effective.

(My marriage fell apart when he started saying "I didn't say that" in response. Rewriting history is abusive and crazy-making.)