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Jealous

hez

By hez
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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hez Enthusiast
hez
Posted

I know I am being petty and bitter but I cannot seem to stop these feelings. A friend of mine who's relative has celiac was just told she really doesn't. While I am happy for her I am so jealous. I wish someone would come along and say that I don't have it. I wish I could eat pizza and cake at my child's birthday.

Part of the problem is that it is the holidays. The first one for me since my dx in April. I am surrounded by things I cannot have. Or if I should be able to have them I can't because of possible cross contamination.

I really have been doing fairly well. Just lately I feel depressed. I knew this might happen since it is my first gluten-free holiday. Just surprised at my bitterness over the friend's relative being mis dx.

Hez

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MySuicidalTurtle Enthusiast
MySuicidalTurtle
Posted

I would feel sad for that person because she must be sick and now she doesn't know what is wrong with her but I understand what yu are saying. You could also always so yummie gluten-free things, that taste normal, at parties you throw, even for your children.

hez Enthusiast
hez
Posted
  • Author

You are so right! She really does not know what is wrong with her health. I do and it is easy for me to control it.

I was just jealous and throwing myself a pity party :(

Hez

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

I think the first holiday go around is the toughest; after that, you know in advance to make your own tasty cookies and treats. It does get easier, though never easy, and while I am envious of folks that find eating more convenient than I do, I also realize that I've learned a lot about tasty food making and adapting because of this. Sorta "you gain some, you lose some" kinda thing.

gabby Enthusiast
gabby
Posted

It is normal to have these feelings. What is happening is that you are grieving the loss of something that was very important to you....the freedom and convenience of eating whatever the heck you wanted. And just like the grieving process for other things in life, the first year is hard because you have those reminders of what the 'old days' used to be like. You are now remembering last christmas. You'll also be remembering last new years, last valentine's and last easter. all of these holidays will come with feelings of melancholy.

But!

After the first year is over, it will get better. Normal. So when next christmas rolls around, your memory will be about a gluten-free christmas. And in the coming months, you are going to learn how to substitute all sorts of really tasty foods. You'll also learn how to be prepared for get togethers. You'll bring a plate of your own gluten free treats for the gang. You'll bring the stuffing for the turkey. You'll learn to bake all sorts of goodies that are gluten-free and delicious.

If you haven't already done so...search this forum for christmas recipes and get baking! As a matter of fact, that is what I am doing at this very minute.

Best of luck,

and be sure to visit this forum often to ask questions, get information, to vent, and also to help newly diagnosed people who are looking for advice that you might be able to provide.

skoki-mom Explorer
skoki-mom
Posted

The holiday thing totally blows. I have been doing pretty well coping until the last couple of weeks. I find myself crying all the time because I feel like I am missing out on so much. I have had to attend a few functions, and frankly, I am getting tired of just smiling and saying "no thanks" to all these really yummy foods that used to be my favourites. I tried making my favourite appetizer wraps last week, I used corn flour tortillas instead of plain tortillas thinking they would be just fine. Well, they were just disgusting, I had a cry over that. I seem to have better luck just abandoning the stuff I used to like and trying to find new stuff so I have no comparison. Honestly, I do not find the gluten-free alternatives to be that great, I'd just rather live with my memory of what gingerbread tastes like instead of choking down some nasty alternative and telling myself it's gingerbread!! OK, so this is one of those whiney posts someone was complaining about awhile back, but I know how you feel. I am looking forward to the holidays being over, and trying to tell myself that at least I probably won't put on any weight this year. AND, I am liberally eating the treats I can still have, like my caramel corn, fudge, and one type of cookie made out of cream cheese and icing sugar. I feel your pain, just want you to know you're not alone.

jknnej Collaborator
jknnej
Posted

This is just a tiny little helper if you're not lactose intolerant!!!! I am lactose intolerant but I do it anyway! I eat a LOT of ice cream. That helps me with the cravings for cakes, pies, etc. You can have a huge hot fudge sunday!

I know it's only a small consolation...but when I go to holiday events like Christmas at my mom's I make sure to buy myself delicious desserts so that when the pie and cookies are brought out I feel ok.

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hez Enthusiast
hez
Posted
  • Author

I think you are right. I am grieving. I thought I was done with that!

I did try making gingerbread men today. Sent me into another cry :angry: They turned out looking horrible!

It is hard when you have traditions that are wrapped around food. I knew it would be tough but didn't realize how bad.

I do agree it will be better next year!

Hez

stef-the-kicking-cuty Enthusiast
stef-the-kicking-cuty
Posted
It is hard when you have traditions that are wrapped around food.

Hello Hez,

I'm sorry to hear, you feel depressed about the food you can't have. I'm sure we have all gone through that and it really does get easier.

But you know what I sometimes really think? Yes, it's hard, when you have traditions that are wrapped around food. But even more it's sad. It's sad, because the holiday traditions shouldn't be about food. They should be about family, having a good time together and think about all those good things you did together and the happy years still to come.

Hugs, Stef

darkangel Rookie
darkangel
Posted

On the positive side, your diagnosis has forced you to make smart choices about how you nourish your body. Many of the most unhealthy foods - did someone say donuts? - are now off limits for you. In the long run, you're going to be much healthier and happier than the folks that are still filling their bodies with junk.

Don't know what age you are, but particularly as we all get older, more and more of our peers will become overweight and plagued with chronic illness related to poor lifestyle choices... then everyone will be envying YOU.

laurelfla Enthusiast
laurelfla
Posted

i understand how y'all feel!

my recommendation is, if you have a support group (and if not, drive 'til you find one; that's what i do and it's great!) have a Holiday Cookie Exchange. that's what we did this past Saturday, and to walk into a room and know i could have any of the treats i wanted did wonders for my spirits! plus now i have some new recipes to try out, and some goodies bagged up for the freezer. i myself played around with a mint brownie recipe from Paula Deen and it was dang good.

but i do know how you feel. :( i hate and abhor turning down food item after food item and the endless explanations. let's hope that we get desensitized pronto! i'll be thinking about all of you.

hez Enthusiast
hez
Posted
  • Author

You are so right! This time of year is about being with the ones we love. Not about food. I am feeling so much better than I did a year ago that I know being gluten-free is worth it. This is just my transition year. I am hoping to start new traditions that focus on family and less on food!

Hez

PS-Even after the gingerbread man disaster (my dh thought that they looked like the tire mascot, michilean man) I will try sugar cookies with the kids. The joy is in the decorating, so what if they do not hold their shape.

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