When Invited Out For Dinner?

[Lisa]

I have reached the 6 month part of being gluten-free. I do wonderfully well at home and my family does not mind eating gluten free. They don't even know unless they see me eating dinner.

Even with close neighbors, I find it very difficult to ask soooooo many questions about how they prepared the food. I now know what is safe and what is not (pretty much). I have offered to bring a dish that I can share. I ask about the gravey, they said corn starch, ok. Didn't ask about the seasonings on the beef. As I watched the gravey spoon go into the mixed veggies, I though, hummm. I get some eyes rolling as well.

Close friends, I will tell, that when I get glutened, I have 10 seconds to get to the bathroom.. and sometimes it takes 15 seconds to get there. That usually result in a lack of response.

People are really trying to be helpful. I appreciate the effort on my behalf, but how in the world do you overcome good hearted people trying to be helpful when they really don't have a clue.

THE QUESTION IS; HOW DO YOU HANDLE BEING A GUEST FOR DINNER?????

Lisa

[ianm]

I always ask what they are planning to serve and then explain the situation. I then tell them what I can eat and how it shoudl be prepared. Most of the people I know now seem to get it. If they really don't get it I just decline the invitation.

[VegasCeliacBuckeye]

Sounds crazy but go with what you said...

"If I get glutened, I have 10 seconds to get to the bathroom, so what are you cooking and how are you making it???"

Don't worry about being assertive...

It is far more offensive for them not to disclose to you what they are cooking since it may hurt you than it is for you to ask how they are preparing dinner...

You would think if they were friends, they would want to tell you -- I wouldn't want to hurt one of my friends....

[Lisa]

It is just so frustrating. I have talked about this too much, but my daughter is getting married and we have many friends give Annie and her fiance parties. I have been dealing with this for only 6 months and many do not know, but they also have to feed the masses. I am sure that my issues are not on high order. I have talked to the caterer and will make sure that I can eat something at the reception. Sorry about the wedding cake. Eating cake would only be symbolic for me as I don't feel that is important to me.

I guess that is not so much a worry for me, because when I go to parties I talk more than I eat anyways, to my periodic regret .

I think that the key here is to just eat what you are possitive is safe and forgo the others. This can be really pissy sometimes. Any other suggestions?

[elonwy]

Carry a big purse. I always have snackums, cookies, cheese sticks, etc, I've even brought my own crackers to parties. Ask for a plate or just find a safe spot. I've got no patience for people who can't deal with it, myself. I only eat at friends houses that I trust ( total people:2) and every one else I bring my own stuff. That way they aren't inconvienienced, and I'm not sick. I have more people over at my house now, cause then I just cook gluten free, and they eat what I make, in my house, no gluteny gifts allowed. Sometimes it sucks not to be able to eat stuff, I've got no advice for that part, cause sometimes... it just sucks.

Elonwy

[tarnalberry]

There's no special technique, you've just got to ask. Don't assume it's a bother, or will annoy them; assume that they're happy to keep you healthy. If they're not, well... that's an important piece of information to know about a 'friend'. Let them know that you're not trying to be annoying about it, you're just cautious.

[kabowman]

Our holiday dinner party, I asked the bosses wife, how she prepared the food and what she added to each item--I appologiezed for having to ask but thanked her very much for her answers. Other times, I can tell right away and snack on my own food that I brought. Sometimes, I know up front there will be no food and I bring my own and re-heat it there and then eat with everyone, just my food. I even take my own drinks most places otherwise, I only trust the water. No problems yet, except for a little eye rolling which I don't care too much about because the alternative is to get sick!!! Really, I don't even get comments because everyone knows how many problems I have because, really, socializing has food so unless you don't socialize, it will come up.