Family Members Who Are Not Careful Enough with My Celiac

[Ck62430]

Hi everyone! I am feeling really annoyed and upset because I am back from college for the summer and my parents always make dinner and they make sure that my half is gluten free. However, we all eat out of the same chip bags and candy jars and I tell them to make sure to shake the chips or whatever onto the plate rather than putting their hands in it. So tonight my mother puts her hand in the chip bag after touching her hamburger bun after we already discussed that they had to shake the bag and I was like seriously? now i can’t have anymore of those chips and she’s like “ well i didn’t touch all the chips” but that’s not the point… the point is she was not careful or mindful and the bag is now contaminated. She blamed it on me for having celiac because she said it’s hard to remember things like that but seriously it shouldn’t be that hard to remember. I also use the same blenders and grill as them but i always clean it… however i know that probably isn’t the best idea but if i get separate cooking items then they are gonna argue with me and make it seem like i’m dramatic but they literally just don’t understand the severity of celiac disease and the possible diseases we may develop and how this will effect us in the long run. Does anyone experience this too? if so how do you cope with it?

[GF-Cate]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you and just want to validate that you have every right to feel annoyed and upset.

As a parent it is really difficult to understand their behavior. Since you know they are not taking your very real health needs seriously, you're probably going to have to implement some additional measures to keep yourself safe while you live in a shared home.

You said "my parents always make dinner and they make sure that my half is gluten free", but are you really sure they are actually doing that if they are not safeguarding shared food items and saying it's hard to remember not to stick a hand in the chip bag? My guess is (unfortunately) probably not. 

This is a really tough situation to be in, where you know they are not doing enough to keep you safe, but you also feel like they are going to argue with you if you buy separate items to keep yourself safe. 

Are they willing to learn more about celiac disease? If so, try to get them to read some of the great resources on this site and others. Also books (check your local library). Educating them (or trying to) may be the best strategy long term. The University of Chicago Celiac Disease Center has some great free resources:

https://www.cureceliacdisease.org/overview/ 

(under "Education" tab)

Have you already tried having a dedicated conversation about it since you returned from college? Maybe even email them and cite some of the info/resources if that seems easier or more effective than a face-to-face. 

Would they be willing to let you take over more responsibility for food shopping, food prep & cooking for the family? 

How long have you been diagnosed? Have others in the family been tested (since risk goes up for 1st degree relatives). Unfortunately many doctors/medical professionals don't fully educate patients and families about the severity of living with celiac, all of the possible additional health complications, or provide adequate follow-up care because they are uneducated (or undereducated) about it themselves. So depending on how knowledgeable the doc who diagnosed you was or wasn't, they may not have given your parents much info.

But clearly you are very aware yourself, so kudos to you for taking your health into your own hands! I'm sorry you are dealing with this and hope your family will hear your concerns and take your celiac seriously. 

[Scott Adams]

The post I made here today might be helpful to you: