Momma married a bread baker

[Jane878]

 

My mother married a bread maker when I was 4 years old. Within a year, I started experiencing full-blown migraine headaches. I would lose my eyesight, vomit, and be nauseous for days, needing to be shut in my room in complete darkness. I was so sick. At 17, during my first year in college on a swimming scholarship, I developed Meniere's disease. Despite the challenges, including swimming on Valium, I became an All-American in swimming, even as I suffered hearing loss and dizzy spells throughout my college years. Diagnosing my condition was a struggle; I was allergic to everything—soy, yeast, wheat, and dairy.

My life became a mess, with multiple surgeries on my ears, knees (from soccer), and nose due to Celiac disease. I eventually became allergic to NSAIDs and Aspirin, suspecting that my body was overreacting to other allergens because I didn't know I had Celiac. My mother rarely took me to the doctor, preferring to save money for her "family cabin." During all this time, I was being sexually abused by a family friend while my mother pursued her master's in social work.

When we discovered I had Celiac, my mother and stepfather were inconvenienced by my need for a special diet, particularly on Thanksgiving. My mother openly complained, asking if I was going to ruin Thanksgiving Dinner. They didn't change anything for me until my little cousin was diagnosed with Celiac and they finally bought gluten-free flour.

Now, with both my biological parents deceased, my brother inherited the family house instead of us sharing it, as my mother had promised. I loved that house and had helped build the heirloom garden, which my brother has since destroyed. He threw away our mother's and grandmother's heirloom jewelry, not knowing where they were hidden. I was devastated when my house burned down. My brother acts like everything is his and even changed the locks, barring me access to things he doesn't care about, like all the books.

My stepfather ignored my health issues, and my mother prioritized saving money for her "family cabin." With her Alzheimer's diagnosis, my stepfather anticipated I'd also develop the disease and dismissed my health concerns. After my mother's death, all the money went to the upkeep of her dream cabin, leaving me without support. Despite my contributions and sacrifices, I received nothing while my brother inherited a $1.7 million home.

I'm now living with my ex-husband because my stepfather changed the will. I need legal advice but have no money or support. I hope someone reading this can help. I've lost hearing in my right ear and suffer from multiple health issues, all stemming from my undiagnosed Celiac disease and the neglect I faced. I just want what is fair.

Thank you, Jane Donnelly 

PS I apologize for the rough draft

[trents]

Welcome to the forum, Jane!

A very sad story! Thanks for sharing.

Is there something we can help you with or did you just feel a need to unburden? Unburdening, by the way, is certainly okay and we all need to find safe places to do it once in a while.

[Scott Adams]

I'm sorry about your financial issues, and unfortunately we can't offer any legal advice here, but at least you've figured out that you have celiac disease, and have hopefully lead a more healthy life as the result. 

[Jane878]

On 12/10/2024 at 11:48 AM, trents said:

Welcome to the forum, Jane!

A very sad story! Thanks for sharing.

Is there something we can help you with or did you just feel a need to unburden? Unburdening, by the way, is certainly okay and we all need to find safe places to do it once in a while.

Thank you for your kindness. I have just begun CPTSD treatment & it's so hard to go through all this history realizing I could have had a healthier life had my mother had my best interest as she did her own needs and desires. I often thought she had kids to work for her. She did the bills and the laundry. She wore the pants in the family, I knew that & I know my stepfather was elated to tell me no. He had no interest in taking care of me ever. And he doesn't even understand that he caused these horrible health issues of my mothers and myself. His ignorance is bliss. He said he didn't want to hear about my health issues. Thanks again for being here and responding. It gives me a place of safety and understanding I haven't had for years. thanks, Jane