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Guest WashingtonLady

My Father Died Today

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Guest WashingtonLady

:(

I'm trying to deal with the reality of my dad being gone. I found his body. He'd had a massive heart attack. I got there only knowing he wasn't answering the phone and, according to a friend, "had been in pain earlier."

I keep thinking this isn't really real. I mean, I KNOW it's real. I've got these hideous pics in my brain now and they'll never leave. I'm the one who tried to wake him up. I'm the one who called 911.

There is no way this can be real.

Does anyone know how long this will take....does anyone ever recover from this? This feels like too much. Four sisters. Nine grandchildren. We're devastated.

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Condolences on the loss of your Dad.

take a deep breath and recall his life in good memories. the sadness may lift after a while but he'll be in your heart forever. it took me about a year to stop bursting out in tears in public.


Husband has Celiac Disease and

Husband misdiagnosed for 27 yrs -

The misdiagnosis was: IBS or colitis

Mis-diagnosed from 1977 to 2003 by various gastros including one of the largest,

most prestigious medical groups in northern NJ which constantly advertises themselves as

being the "best." This GI told him it was "all in his head."

Serious Depressive state ensued

Finally Diagnosed with celiac disease in 2003

Other food sensitivities: almost all fruits, vegetables, spices, eggs, nuts, yeast, fried foods, roughage, soy.

Needs to gain back at least 25 lbs. of the 40 lbs pounds he lost - lost a great amout of body fat and muscle

Developed neuropathy in 2005

Now has lymphadema 2006It is my opinion that his subsequent disorders could have been avoided had he been diagnosed sooner by any of the dozen or so doctors he saw between 1977 to 2003

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I'm sorry for your loss. Only time heals and there is not any time frame. We all heal in our own ways and in our own time. He's with the angels now and will always watch over you.


Deb

Long Island, NY

Double DQ1, subtype 6

We urge all doctors to take time to listen to your patients.. don't "isolate" symptoms but look at the whole spectrum. If a patient tells you s/he feels as if s/he's falling apart and "nothing seems to be working properly", chances are s/he's right!

"The calm river of your life approaches the rocky chute of the rapids - flow on through. You are the same water. The rocks cannot hurt you. Remember, now and then, that you are the water and not the boat. Flow on!

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I'm sorry to hear that you lost your father. Remember the happy and special times. He will always be in your heart. Give yourself time to heal. Hugs, Wendy

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I am so sorry for your loss. There is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. Take comfort in your sisters and the grandchildren. We are all here for you.

HUGS.


Jillian

Positive Blood test and Biopsy

Inflamed stomach lining

Gluten free since July 6, 2005

Tarrytown, NY

"Sometimes being a b$tch is all a woman has to hold onto." - Dolores Claiborne

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:(

I'm trying to deal with the reality of my dad being gone. I found his body. He'd had a massive heart attack. I got there only knowing he wasn't answering the phone and, according to a friend, "had been in pain earlier."

I keep thinking this isn't really real. I mean, I KNOW it's real. I've got these hideous pics in my brain now and they'll never leave. I'm the one who tried to wake him up. I'm the one who called 911.

There is no way this can be real.

Does anyone know how long this will take....does anyone ever recover from this? This feels like too much. Four sisters. Nine grandchildren. We're devastated.

I'm so very sorry!!! My father was killed in a car crash in 1996, it was sudden and unexpected...I have to say that time will heal. There is no time schedule for mourning or healing, but you will in your own time, everyone is different. Some can just pick up and get involved with other things to take their mind off, I just couldn't seem to do that. Eventually I started volunteering at my church--helping people--that seemed to help a little, and eventually time made the wound tolerable.

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It might take some time. You might want to seek out grief support groups either in your area or online somewhere.

Try to remember the good times and help other family members, but also, what you have been through and are going through isn't easy and obviously can't go away very quickly. Find yourself some support or just someplace where people will let you express your pain and understand.

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I am very sorry you lost your dad, and that you had to be the one who found him. I understand about the unreal feeling. It will take a while to truly register that your dad is gone. My dad died of liver cancer in 1997, and for years I would actually walk over to the phone on his birthday, thinking, "I need to call Papa, it's his birthday", only to realize that I couldn't phone him, because he was gone.

God had a plan when he let you be the one who found him. Imagine one of your children being the one who found their grandfather, and think that thankfully it was you instead, it might help.

When you lose somebody you love you need to be allowed to grieve. There is no right or wrong way to grieve (or a specific time frame), so don't let anybody tell you that your way of mourning isn't appropriate, because it is for you.

I hope you'll be okay, and will be able to cope in the days to come. I will pray for you and your family.


I am a German citizen, married to a Canadian 29 years, four daughters, one son, seven granddaughters and four grandsons, with one more grandchild on the way in July 2009.

Intolerant to all lectins (including gluten), nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) and salicylates.

Asperger Syndrome, Tourette Syndrome, Addison's disease (adrenal insufficiency), hypothyroidism, fatigue syndrome, asthma

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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I am so sorry for your horrible loss. i can only imagine how traumatized you must feel given the situatioon. take time to care for yourself!

Jess


Diagnosed in March 2006 after being in the hospital due to pancreatitis due to undiagnosed celiac

years of being told i had IBS, taking numerous IBS medications (since the age of fifteen)

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I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Take a few moments to remember some of your fondest memories of him. It will help you feel a little better. Don't hesitate to talk to anyone, talking about what you are feeling is the advice I was given when my best friend was killed. It did help.

My prayers go out to you and your family during this difficult time.


~~~~Gluten Free since 9/2004~~~~~~

Friends may come and go but Sillies are Forever!!!!!!!

36_22_10[1].gif

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So very sorry for you devastating loss...............I don't think we ever really get over the loss of a parent if we are close to them. I lost my dad 35 years ago and there are still times that I miss him, it just gets better gradually as the years go by. My dad was a great dad and grandfather and went too soon.......as yours may have. The former comments have been good ones, take heed in them. You now have to be strong for your children and your mom and you WILL find a way to do that, it seems to come from somewhere when we need it. PRAY. It is very interesting that you came to your friends on this message board, which is the very best one around. We will stick with you. Many hugs.........

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I am so sorry. Sending you many hugs and support through cyberspace.


"But then, in all honesty, if scientists don't play god, who will?"

- James Watson

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

- Ashleigh Brilliant

Leap, and the net will appear.

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I'm so sorry about your dad. Please take care. :)


Patti

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

"When people show you who they are, believe them"--Maya Angelou

"Bloom where you are planted"--Bev

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Oh, I am so sorry. For me, one of the toughest things about living through this level of grief was to try very hard not to feel smothering guilt when, after a year or two had passed, I found I was able to go a few hours without thinking of him. This will be later for you, but maybe it's a good thing to mention now...

[[[[[[[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]


Emily

diagnosed type one diabetic 1973

diagnosed celiac winter 2005

diagnosed hypothyroid spring 2006

But healthy and happy! 253.gif

11 year-old Son had negative blood panel, but went on gluten-free diet of his own volition to see if his concentration would improve, his temper abate, and his energy level would increase. Miraculous response!

The great are great only because we are on our knees.

--Pierre Joseph Proudhon (1809-1865)

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I'm so sorry. *hugs* I was with my Dad when he died, I'm glad I was although the images of his last day or two and his death are very, very difficult memories. I was in tears everyday for what seemed like a couple of months. It was when I wasn't busy and was driving alone in my car and those moments would replay in my mind. It has been almost 2 years now and I can think of him at other times, other than just his death. Lately I've been missing the way his big soft hand felt when he squeezed my hand.

Right after my Dad died, that very same day, my sister-in-law and I immersed ourselves in making a lovely garden for our Mom. That activity healed us and we really bonded over that.

Now my Mom is in a nursing home in declining health and I've promised myself I'll do the same for her, at my house, when she dies.

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I am so sorry for your loss.

It takes different people different amounst of time to heal from their loss. Remember how he was not how you found him. Celebrate his life and remember he will not be in pain anymore. Remember the good things and rejoice in the memory of his love and it will be much easier for you.


Rusla

Asthma-1969

wheat/ dairy allergies, lactose/casein intolerance-1980

Multiple food, environmental allergies

allergic to all antibiotics except sulpha

Rheumitoid arthritis,Migraine headaches,TMJ- 1975

fibromyalgia-1995

egg allergy-1997

msg allergy,gall bladder surgery-1972

Skin Biopsy positive DH-Dec.1 2005, confirmed celiac disease

gluten-free totally since Nov. 28, 2005

Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism- 2005

Pernicious Anemia 1999 (still anemic on and off.)

Osteoporosis Aug. 2006

Creative people need maids.

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I am so sorry to hear about your father. I know exactly what you are going through. My dad passed away on Feb. 13 at the age of 68 from a massive heart attack. He just never came home from work. My older brother was the one to find him. I am still in complete and utter shock. I heard that for a sudden death it can take up to 4 years to recover. God, I hope that's not true. I urge you to read "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" by Brooke Noel and Pamela Blair. It's one of the few books out their that deals with untimely deaths and it has helped me immensely.

My heart goes out to you. I know you must be completely overwhelmed and feel like you are walking in a fog. Please know that I am here for you if you ever want to talk. My email is bethc@optonline.net.

Beth


Beth

Gluten free since January 2007.

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I am so very sorry for your loss. I don't think there is any fully getting over something like this. Eventually though the pain does become less severe. It is never easy to lose someone but you are lucky to have a large family for mutual support. You are in many thoughts and prayers.


Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying

"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)

Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002

Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis

All bold resoved or went into remission in time with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002

 Gene Test Aug 2007

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

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Guest lorlyn

Sorry to hear about your dad. My father passed away from a massive heart attack at the age of 55. I was 22. It will take time to get the images out of your head, I had the same problem. Take care of your self and your family and may Peace be with you

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I'm very sorry for your loss. I know how badly a sudden death can hit you. My grandmother moved on a few years back, and none of us were prepared- we hadn't seen it coming at all. Just take it one day at a time.

I've lit a candle for your father.


I'm really just here about my wife. Its all her fault!

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