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Friends Who Don't Get It.

lizzydotcom.

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lizzydotcom. Newbie
lizzydotcom.
Posted

I have tonssss of friends who will sit there, and eat gluten RIGHT in front of me....it pisses me off big time...and what i want more than anything, is to eat a piece of bread.

but i know i can't. :(

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heathen Apprentice
heathen
Posted

Being the only gluten-free person I know, I have had felt the frustration of watching someone else tear into a pizza or birthday cake, etc., but it's part of our life. The way I got over it was verbally telling my friends and family to enjoy the food they can eat, even if they have to eat it in front of me. Think about it--do you want everyone else to have to change their eating habits just because you are with them? Do you really want your friends to have to eat like we do? I don't know how long you've been diagnosed, but the anger passes eventually, I promise. But if you gripe about what you aren't allowed to eat, your friends may avoid eating with you and think that all people with food intolerances are going to be that demanding, as well. As long as your health isn't endangered, I would try to ease up on your friends. Hope things get better soon. Sorry I don't have a better solution.

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

Them eating food themselves that they like doesn't mean they don't get it. Trying to make you eat food you can't have would be them not getting it. But it doesn't make sense for absolutely everyone to eat the smallest set of what everyone can have. That'd be like me not eating chocolate because my husband hates it and the smell of it.

super-sally888 Contributor
super-sally888
Posted

I reckon the friend thing is just something to get used to.

Like not being able to eat when all your friends are (my good friends are still in the process of learning what I can eat.... so last night after our team training, Janet whose house we meet at, proudly presented fried chicken - but it had been coated in flour) - so I just had soup and rice. No biggie and I don't make a deal out of it 'cause I don't want them to feel bad. (they will feel bad enough if I am running for their toilet! P:)) Then she asked what my choices were and is going to cook next week bearing in mind what I can eat.

It is really a learning process for all of us. The thing I miss most is beer. But I have provided a bottle of gin/wine at my friend's place so that I can have my drink there too when they are drinking.

But sure is better than having to run for the loo.

For the close friends, they know what you have been through and will work with you...

For the others... so what... doesn't matter. I will do what I need to be well...

Be strong. This is about you / us. Not about those who are fortunate enough not to have to deal with this.

mn farm gal Apprentice
mn farm gal
Posted

It is toughest at first. After the first year it goes better, at least that is what I have found. It bothers me the most at holidays and the family knows how I have to eat but nobody makes an effort to bring gluten free food but me. They all like what I bring and I share it! My friends have been very understanding because they seen me before gluten free and it is much better this way. Good luck.

tiredofdoctors Enthusiast
tiredofdoctors
Posted

I'm not a teenager -- I'm a mom -- 45 yrs. old. I am also celiac. I just wanted you to know that it's not just young people who are like that. People my age and older are just as bad. Even family members took FOREVER to realize that I wasn't going to eat at their houses unless I had gluten-free food to eat. I offered to bring my own, and they would get offended.

I think you finally get to a point that you get so USED to people being idiots, that it doesn't bother you much. I would like to say that the friends / family all get better about it, but sometimes they just don't. I think we just get more used to it.

Take care of you -- and sorry to jump in here -- I know it's for teens.

Liz92 Rookie
Liz92
Posted

Its hard. But nyou can not expect your friends tosuffer through no gluten, because you don't like th scene. Though I normally have noproblem... i have a confession. :unsure: In french class we were eating realrealrealereal french food, which issensational, and i cheated. bad me, i know.

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nusr33n Newbie
nusr33n
Posted

yea trust me i know how that feels...i have alot of friends even family that does the same thing...but you gotta think that you'll feel soo much better if you didn't

PattiD2 Rookie
PattiD2
Posted

I know exactly what u mean. I'm going three months without gluten to see if I have Celiac disease. A week after I started this, there I went to a parade/festival thing. They sell the best cheese curds there, but I couldn't have them because they had a flour coating. I had explained to all of my friends about Celiac disease, and how I couldn't eat gluten. One of my friends was really understanding, and would only eat what I could eat. Then, my other friend (I'll call her Suzie) came along and started offering me all of this food with wheat in it. I told her I couldn't have it and was just like, oh she must of forgotten. Later, that "Suzie" convinced my other friend (the one who would only eat what I could eat) to buy the cheese curds. I was like "ok, that's fine, she can only get it this once", but then "Suzie" started to go on and on talking about the cheese curds. I told her that I couldn't have them so it would be nice if she would stop, but then five minutes later she started talking about it again. Ughh! I was so mad at her.

This friend hasn't been especially good about celiac disease so I am just starting to hang around with other friends and avoid her, especially around food.

Edit: sorry I'm on my mom's log in. I should be logged in as lollipop.

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
I'm not a teenager -- I'm a mom -- 45 yrs. old. I am also celiac. I just wanted you to know that it's not just young people who are like that. People my age and older are just as bad. Even family members took FOREVER to realize that I wasn't going to eat at their houses unless I had gluten-free food to eat. I offered to bring my own, and they would get offended.

I think you finally get to a point that you get so USED to people being idiots, that it doesn't bother you much. I would like to say that the friends / family all get better about it, but sometimes they just don't. I think we just get more used to it.

Take care of you -- and sorry to jump in here -- I know it's for teens.

I'm elderly too :P It takes soome getting used to and tiredofdoctors is right- older adults aren't much better. :(

I have a friend who's a doctor who always passes me the bread basket and then looks at me strange when I say "Uhm, I can't eat this". I SWEAR to GOD she doesn't believe me. You know what? I've realized it's her problem, not mine!

It's very frustrating but when you start eating gluten free stuff in front of them that looks and tastes better than their stuff (try namaste brownie mix!) than they will be jealous of you. :P

  • 3 weeks later...
chloeb Newbie
chloeb
Posted
I have tonssss of friends who will sit there, and eat gluten RIGHT in front of me....it pisses me off big time...and what i want more than anything, is to eat a piece of bread.

but i know i can't. :(

i dont get mad when people eat it in front of me but i do wish i could have it too. :(

Teku Apprentice
Teku
Posted

i dont really care that much anymore

but that used to piss me off to but now i piss them off by pulling off tricks that they cant dream of doing

  • 3 weeks later...
Eriella Explorer
Eriella
Posted

I know how annoying it can be, but you will find some AMAZING people out there who will make it worth all of the jerks. This week my boyfriend's parents changed over all of their gluten free staples like soy sauce and chicken broth to gluten free brands and cooked 3 dinners that I could eat! Yesterday I was invited to a dinner party with my bf's friends and sure enough everything was gluten free. At lunch my friends gave me extra soy pasta that they bought and thought i would enjoy. And then, today, the people in my building crafted a way so that I could play beer pong with them (using hard cider, making sure all of the balls were rinsed in between turns).

Naturally these people didn't become like this overnight. However, they saw me when I was sick, they know that I don't cheat, and explained to them exactly what I could and couldn't eat (you should have seen their face the first time I grabbed a 'normal' taco shell and ate the same meal that they did! ;) ) Once they realized that I was serious about this, most people are great. There are still people that don't get it, but most do, and a few will even be great about it.

Good luck!

Hanna GF LF cheerleader Rookie
Hanna GF LF cheerleader
Posted

I bring something that is like ten times better thats gluten free and then tease them right back... Like this cake I found my friends like better than normal cake and then they feel my pain. My friends do the same thing though I think everyone does. My family especially my birthday present from my cousin was a big fluffy loaf of white bread and my uncle drew a picture of "my birthday nightmare" it was a big cake that was like eating me...

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