Depressed - Troubles Eating

[Genie75]

Hello,

Just dropping by for support. I posted a bit around Xmas time. A month before Xmas I became a SelfDiagnosed Celiac. Before that I didn't know there was such thing. I had been eating fairly gluten free for 10 years, as it was the only thing that got the diarhea under control. Unfortunately, I don't know why, things got substantially worse last November. My body was rejecting almost all food I put into it. I didn't want to eat because I couldn't see the point of it if everything made me run to the bathroom. Unfortunately, even eating gluten free was not helping me this time. So I got very scared, because I did not know what was wrong with me. I have had the diagnosis of IBS for the past 12 years, and I have never obtained any positive test results for Celias disease, because I am unable to eat glutens for long enough for the test results to show positive results.

So at the advice of the Canadian Celiac Association, they told me to accept that I will never get a positive diagnosis for it in my whole life, and to eat gluten free, since even eating small amounts make me sick. I do follow their advice now.

However, my IBS has gotten really really bad. So much so that not only can I not eat glutens, but now I get a bad pain in my left side when I eat any food that is too rough. Like brocolli, red peppers, brown rice, etc.

So I've been pretty depressed about it all. I can see the paleo diet is the way for me to go. Troubles is I have troubles sticking to it.

I have bought Acacia Tummy fibre which has helped tremendously in reducing diarhea bouts. To that's a major plus. Unfortunately if I get too much fibre , I get these god awful pains in the left side. I have been told that they are colon spasms. I had a CT scan done and everything, and nothing was found. So that's what they are assuming I have.

So I'm a bit depressed about this. My options for what I can all eat are so limited. I don't know what to do about the pains in the left side when I get them. I just sort of wait it out, and try to just drink gingerale and the RAT diet (or whatever it is called).

Really it's the emotional part that is the hardest for me. If I could live in a shell and not have to interact with anyone else, I could just feed myself as I see fit. Then I think I would get better, but am not sure. Anyways, I'm down today because I had the pains in the left side again this morning. So now I'm scared to eat for fear they will come back again. I will just pare down on to gingerale, rice pablum, boullioun, etc. It is so frustrating. Thanks for listening.

Janet

[ShayFL]

Anytime Janet. I hope you feel better soon. I am on a restrictive diet by most standards.....but I eat well and am feeling very good of late. So there is hope!

[dilettantesteph]

I get really depressed when I am glutened. It isn't just because I feel bad, it is because celiac messes with your neurotransmitters. Really watch for all those hidden gluten sources like medications, vitamins, envelopes, cross contamination with processed foods. If you get yourself really free from gluten you just might find that all those other bad things go away. I hope so.

[Bridy]

I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so badly.

[Genie75]

Hi ShayFl,

It is good to hear from you! If you can do it, I can do it! You have no idea how good it feels to hear of someone else who is on a very restricted diet. That is my main problem. I do not have enough support around me to eat the way my body feels best. And I suffer dearly for it. I have the gluten free thing under control, as I have been doing that for years. I don't really have a problem eating gluten free anymore.

What I am experiencing now is very bad reactions to anything too fibrous. So I am leaning in the direciton of the paleo diet. Although even that is hard for me, because vegies that are too rough cause problems for me too. I do the best on root veggies. I thrive on potatoes. Eat at least one potato every day. And I am a big meat eater as well. And I seem to do really well on most fruits.

It is hard for me to get that assertiveness in me, and to drop the people-pleasing, and the feeling of guilt when I have to turn down so much perfectly good food. I have had to remove red peppers out of my scrabbled eggs medley and put them in my bf's plate. He objected at first, but I explained to him that they cause me pain in my left side. He really doesn't understand.

At times I feel like the little kid who is sneaking food to the dog under the table because I cannot eat it.

I do not have the desire to go out to restaurants much. Yet people keep asking me, no matter how many times I explain the difficulties I have!

I am tired of people trying to fix me! They have no idea that I have tried almost everything on this planet (ok I'm exaggerating a bit), and that everyday is a huge struggle for me, in coping with food and how to eat. They don't realize that it exhausts me. They don't realize I can't be what they want me to be. I had this one woman at work who brought me a hot chocolate, when I was desperately sick and losing weight like crazy. And she was upset because I declined the hot chocolate! Her and I are not friends and I can't be friends with someone like that who doesnt' understand.

I used to go out of my way to spend time with people, and not look after myself. And they would eat while we were out, and I'm sitting there, hungry, and they're eating and I can't eat because the coffee shop sells nothing I can eat. Anyways, sorry for complaining.

I have gotten the hang of carrying food I can eat everywhere I go. Because I never know when I'm going to get hungry, and the choice of foods for me out there are pretty slim pickings for me

I'm tired of people trying to switch me to "healthy" foods. It's disconcerting that I have to tell them that I also react to Soy! Or whatever else solution they have for me. Unfortunately. I react to almost anything.

What should I do! Wear a big placard that says "Please do not feed me!!!!"

Ok I'm sorry. I'm dumping . I'm making things out to be way worse than they are. But I am just so frustrated I needed to vent.

Anytime Janet. I hope you feel better soon. I am on a restrictive diet by most standards.....but I eat well and am feeling very good of late. So there is hope!

[ShayFL]

I know what you mean. Most of my friends dont bother anymore. I always bring my own food. I bring enough to share and I am a pretty good cook (so that helps). I have a few good friends who like cooking for me. One good friend recently made me and my family dinner. Bless her heart. She used tin-foil on everything even the glass bakeware. She didnt make anything that required a cutting board. Used metal spoons (not wooden). Cleared every ingredient with me beforehand including the spices, oils and salt. She made a delicious herb baked chicken and sweet potatoes. I brought a salad and some of my homemade dressing. Sorbet for dessert. It was awesome and I didnt get sick at all. I dont expect anyone to cater to me, but I have found really good friends actually want to and they dont want me to get sick.

If I ever find myself surrounded by buttholes....I limit my time with them and spend more time with the people that care and dont treat me like I am weird. Including my family. I spend time with people that lift me up.....not bring me down. And these days I am pretty blunt about it....."Mom if you are going to keep saying those things, I am going to hang up and not speak with you until we can have a conversation without that material. I will hang up everytime. Ok?" and it works!!

I have discovered in life that not everyone will like me, but most respect me. It is good enough for me.

Take a look around and ask yourself why you are trying to people please? Most women need to learn to care for themselves and put themselves first now and again. You deserve it.