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Family Rant

Guhlia

By Guhlia
in Introduce Yourself / Share Stuff

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Guhlia Rising Star
Guhlia
Posted

A few months ago my brother's girlfriend and I had a big fight and we are no longer on speaking terms. I find her to be utterly immature (she's 19, he's 28), awkward, rude, and hurtful. The fight we had was over the importance of my children vs. material items. Obviously I feel as though my girls are far more important than a racecar. Anyway, I steer clear of her and I keep my kids away from her too.

Annika (my 1 year old) is having her first birthday party next weekend. Of course I sent my brother an invitation. There was no mention of his girlfriend on or in the invitation. He called me yesterday to RSVP that he would not be there because his girlfriend wasn't welcome there. Should I be upset? I mean, this is her FIRST birthday and he IS her uncle. The party is only two hours one Sunday. He told me that he would not be attending because he didn't want to leave her home alone. Am I missing something or was that really crummy of him. No matter what kind of relationship I have with his girlfriend it seems to me that he's still their uncle.

Generally I try to just laugh at this kind of family drama, but this one kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Thanks for letting me rant.

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JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted
A few months ago my brother's girlfriend and I had a big fight and we are no longer on speaking terms. I find her to be utterly immature (she's 19, he's 28), awkward, rude, and hurtful. The fight we had was over the importance of my children vs. material items. Obviously I feel as though my girls are far more important than a racecar. Anyway, I steer clear of her and I keep my kids away from her too.

Annika (my 1 year old) is having her first birthday party next weekend. Of course I sent my brother an invitation. There was no mention of his girlfriend on or in the invitation. He called me yesterday to RSVP that he would not be there because his girlfriend wasn't welcome there. Should I be upset? I mean, this is her FIRST birthday and he IS her uncle. The party is only two hours one Sunday. He told me that he would not be attending because he didn't want to leave her home alone. Am I missing something or was that really crummy of him. No matter what kind of relationship I have with his girlfriend it seems to me that he's still their uncle.

Generally I try to just laugh at this kind of family drama, but this one kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Thanks for letting me rant.

Ok, let me get this straight. You brother's teenage girlfriend started a fight with you about the fact that you value your children above the desire to have a racecar and now he doesn't want to spend time with you because she'll get lonely in just two hours? Did I get that right?

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted
Ok, let me get this straight. You brother's teenage girlfriend started a fight with you about the fact that you value your children above the desire to have a racecar and now he doesn't want to spend time with you because she'll get lonely in just two hours? Did I get that right?

Yeah, I hear you, I agree.

It's his decision, someday he'll regret it. If I've learned anything, especially this past year with our family issues, you cannot control the decisions of others. You extended your hand to him, he chose not to take it. If you can focus on your babies and Annika's special day, it will be that much more special for you and the rest of your family. I'm sorry he's being a pain. I totally understand what you're going thru.

Guhlia Rising Star
Guhlia
Posted
  • Author
Ok, let me get this straight. You brother's teenage girlfriend started a fight with you about the fact that you value your children above the desire to have a racecar and now he doesn't want to spend time with you because she'll get lonely in just two hours? Did I get that right?

Yup, that's the short version of the story. We actually own a racecar that my brother drives for us, for our business (racecar parts). She told me that my husband working on the car is more important than my (our) children's needs. Ummm.... Riiiiighttt... He was supposed to be getting the baby a bottle and never came back. Turned out he was working on the car and never warmed her bottle for me. My baby was screaming cuz she was so hungry. It was just inexcuseable and she had the gall to yell at ME because I was upset. Whatever. I didn't like her before that incident. After that I just feel like I have more than enough reason to keep my "value-less" children away from her.

Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted

I understand what you are going through too. I don't have any advice to give, it's a tough position to be in all around and there's not really an easy solution. Of course it hurts and it's upsetting that your own brother is choosing not to be there at your daughter's first birthday, and it is a choice he is making. I agree with Rachelle, that unfortunately our family members or loved ones don't always do or act in a way we would hope.

Sounds like there might possibly be some power struggles too with the immature gluten-free, like maybe she is saying he can't go? But not knowing them or the entire situation I can't say for sure....

Is extending the olive branch to the gluten-free just to have your brother there an option or do you just not want her anywhere near you or your kids?

Guhlia Rising Star
Guhlia
Posted
  • Author
I understand what you are going through too. I don't have any advice to give, it's a tough position to be in all around and there's not really an easy solution. Of course it hurts and it's upsetting that your own brother is choosing not to be there at your daughter's first birthday, and it is a choice he is making. I agree with Rachelle, that unfortunately our family members or loved ones don't always do or act in a way we would hope.

Sounds like there might possibly be some power struggles too with the immature gluten-free, like maybe she is saying he can't go? But not knowing them or the entire situation I can't say for sure....

Is extending the olive branch to the gluten-free just to have your brother there an option or do you just not want her anywhere near you or your kids?

At this point I would rather she just weren't around my kids. My brother isn't exactly a positive role model, so it's not worth the hassle. It just makes me sad that he is so obviously choosing her over his nieces. And I really hope that they don't grow up resentful of them because no matter how much of a jerk he is, he's still their uncle. Thank God my husband's side of the family is slightly more sane than mine. lol

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted
I understand what you are going through too. I don't have any advice to give, it's a tough position to be in all around and there's not really an easy solution. Of course it hurts and it's upsetting that your own brother is choosing not to be there at your daughter's first birthday, and it is a choice he is making. I agree with Rachelle, that unfortunately our family members or loved ones don't always do or act in a way we would hope.

Sounds like there might possibly be some power struggles too with the immature gluten-free, like maybe she is saying he can't go? But not knowing them or the entire situation I can't say for sure....

Is extending the olive branch to the gluten-free just to have your brother there an option or do you just not want her anywhere near you or your kids?

I'm just curious if you were aware that you were saying 'gluten-free' instead of 'girlfriend?

:)

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Guhlia Rising Star
Guhlia
Posted
  • Author

Anytime you type in the letters G & F next to each other it automatically changes it to gluten free. l.o.l

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted
Anytime you type in the letters G & F next to each other it automatically changes it to gluten free. l.o.l

Seriously? Haha, I'm gonna try it!

gluten-free

Guhlia Rising Star
Guhlia
Posted
  • Author

Ha ha ha... SEE! l.o.l

Same with L.o.L... that comes up as a smiley. And compact disc's initials (C.D.) turns into celiac disease. There are a bunch of auto-correct things on here. Funny, huh? Type in A.rbonne without the period... I believe it turns into "lame advertisement". Too funny.

lol

celiac disease

Lame Advertisement

oh wow, lol doesn't change to a smiley anymore!!!

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted
Ha ha ha... SEE! l.o.l

Same with L.o.L... that comes up as a smiley. And compact disc's initials (C.D.) turns into celiac disease. There are a bunch of auto-correct things on here. Funny, huh? Type in A.rbonne without the period... I believe it turns into "lame advertisement". Too funny.

lol

celiac disease

Lame Advertisement

oh wow, lol doesn't change to a smiley anymore!!!

Heehee, this is fun! What else does that?

Guhlia Rising Star
Guhlia
Posted
  • Author

I'm not sure... There was a whole thread a while back devoted to these things... I have no idea what to even search for though!

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Oh Angie- I so agree with the others. If he isn't a good role model, I understand completly about not wanting her around the kids especially.....She probably is still immature. I can honestly say, at her age I was still had some growing up to do. I would just forget about her and the drama she would cause at Annika's 1st birthday and celebrate without the both of them. He may regret not being there down the road but Annika will probably never even know he isn't there. She will be surrounded with family and friends who adore her.

Kids are more important material things anyday....

Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted
At this point I would rather she just weren't around my kids. My brother isn't exactly a positive role model, so it's not worth the hassle. It just makes me sad that he is so obviously choosing her over his nieces. And I really hope that they don't grow up resentful of them because no matter how much of a jerk he is, he's still their uncle. Thank God my husband's side of the family is slightly more sane than mine. lol

I sounds like it's all for the best then, not to have either of them there with all the drama that is surrounding their relationship. I hope you have a wonderful birthday party for your daughter!!

I'm just curious if you were aware that you were saying 'gluten-free' instead of 'girlfriend?

:)

YES :lol: I just realized that, I was trying to take the short cut and not spell out "girlfriend" and I didn't even think about this board changing it to gluten free!!

Guhlia Rising Star
Guhlia
Posted
  • Author

Thanks guys. I really needed to know that I wasn't overreacting. My husband always tells me that I overreact to EVERYTHING, so I'm a little self conscious about it. Though, I would sooner think that's he's just overly laid back rather than me overreacting. He doesn't react to much of anything. Ever.

Anyway, I will just let it go, let him miss the party without a word and hope that down the road perhaps he will become involved in their lives in a positive manner.

Cheri A Contributor
Cheri A
Posted

((hugs)) Angie. I'm sorry that is happening. I agree with everyone else. It sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do, but it doesn't excuse being rude and hurtful. It is too bad that he is choosing to not come to the party. Maybe it's for the best right now. Enjoy that party with the family that does come and enjoy that sweet little birthday girl!

debmidge Rising Star
debmidge
Posted

I have a slightly different viewpoint. Here goes :) :

Brother is involved with a young woman who is controlling basically :o . He enjoys it :blink: . He

may or may not marry this woman :o . You probably do not want to alienate your brother.

Young woman is immature, bossy and perhaps narcissist. Brother is probably having

the best bedtimes of his life (keeping it G-rated) ;) . He position is: "love me, love my dog."

In order to keep your brother in your orbit, you will have to grudgingly accept <_< the

bimbo. However, this time next year, the bimbo may be with another guy. But if

she isn't and is married to your brother, you'll hopefully have breached the rift by

that point.

He went to put a bottle on for your baby and got distracted by a) auto and b ) bimbo. Perhaps

he is immature as well. Perhaps he has some type of attention span deficit when he is around

cars and women (isn't that most men?).

Don't place your battle on this incident. Now you know better not to rely on them for the

smallest of favors and you absolutely do not trust that woman with your children, life, home,

even brother for that matter. This type of woman comes into a man's life every now and then, and

sometimes they unfortunately marry them.

I'd bury the hatchet with my brother and deliberately invite her to the party. However, she may

NOT want to attend and he'll come alone anyway.

The person I'd feel the sorriest for would be any children your brother could have with her.

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