Frustrated With Mom

[BelievinMiracles]

I talked to mom this weekend and was just talking to her how I feel down and how bad I hurt from eating pizza from the weekend before and how I still hurt and among other things. And she said something along the fact that this is probably only temporary, that it'll go away when I'm less stressed out (the whole gluten intolerance/celiac thing). I don't know but it kind of hurt me because I always thought my mom was supportive, and when she said that she too made me feel somewhat like a hypochodriac. I know that's not what she means or meant to come across like, but now I'm back to feeling what if I'm fooling myself and all those other depressing thoughts that I had in the beginning. I don't know, I'm just frustrated with her right now. If this isn't the answer to my problems than what is?

[Mother of Jibril]

I'm sorry you did not get the response you wanted from your mom, but try not to give up hope too soon... it just might take some time for her to come around.

My mom suffers from a lot of health problems that I think are gluten-related... diabetes, fibromyalgia, arthritis, chronic pain in her knees and back, IBS, depression... she's also had her gallbladder removed, a hysterectomy (for endometriosis), and recently had a knee replaced. Her mom had type I diabetes and died when my mom was only 11 years old. My gluten sensitivity had to come from somewhere!

I do NOT want to suffer like she has. About five years ago I started eating a lot healthier... no high fructose corn syrup, more fruits and veggies, organic meat, fewer processed foods. I've been trying to convince both of my parents to eat healthier. I did get them drinking water and eating frozen vegetables instead of canned vegetables, but my mom always seems to find some way to sabotage her diet. She told me she couldn't give up her coffee... which I didn't think was a big problem until my parents came to stay at my house for a week and I realized she was drinking (heavily sweetened) International Coffee drinks... with (heavily sweetened) flavored Coffee Mate added to it. I calculated that during that week she had more than 300g of sugar just from coffee. Ouch. I was out of it because I had just given birth, but if I had realized what was happening I would have pointed out that THIS is why her diabetes has been so out of control.

I've been telling my mom about my experiences with a casein-free, gluten-free diet and how it's really doing good things for my mental and physical health. And what do you know... she asked me to send her a list of things to avoid. I think she's getting desperate enough to give gluten-free a try! I hope she'll be able to do it thoughtfully enough to get some results... and that she really does see results.

Anyway... my point for you is that you can't control how other people react. If your mom sees that you're honestly trying to improve your health, maybe she'll eventually become more supportive.

[msmini14]

How long have you been gluten free? Were you diagnosed with Celiac or trying a gluten-free diet to see if it corrects your problems? I noticed you have been a member here since June... You ate gluten pizza last weekend? If you did or still are consuming gluten she is not going to take you seriously.

My mom has been some what supportive through this, all though she has told me she can not be there emotionally for me. So whatever I have been alone for years and thats just how it is. My mom understands what happens when I am glutened, but does she really listen? No

My mom has a series of health problems... will she get tested for Celiac? No. She does not want to admit that she would have to follow a healthy diet. That could be something your mom is facing, she knows you got it some where.

I had to live with my mom a couple of months ago and she told me it was like living with someone who has an infectious disease. She couldnt stand that I took up some room in the fridge/pantry and she couldnt wait for me to get out.

People can be wierd with this, they either get it or they dont. They either want to learn or dont really care. An ex bf of mine told me it was all in my head too, thats why he is an ex now lol.

It will get better, it always does. Keep in mind that if you do not take this serious no one else will. =)

[BelievinMiracles]

How long have you been gluten free? Were you diagnosed with Celiac or trying a gluten-free diet to see if it corrects your problems? I noticed you have been a member here since June... You ate gluten pizza last weekend? If you did or still are consuming gluten she is not going to take you seriously.

Hey! Thank you guys for your responses. I wasn't diagnosed with celiac and I was told by a doctor to go on the diet because they believe although my blood test came back negative they think it's celiac or gluten intolerance. I believe I could be IgA deficient because I have a low immune system and my test came back as almost 0 when IGG levels were a bit higher (although still negative for celiac). I've been gluten free probably for 3 months now and the only reason why I ate pizza because I had to work this weekend and didn't have time to make food and that was the only food available to me. My mom knows I'm strick to my diet and she is also the one that yells at me if I eat something that has gluten. As you can see she is supportive of me, but at the same time, her telling me it's probably only temporary still hurts.

I possibly think my aunt has some form of gluten sensitivity because she's been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, IBS, and fibromylagia. Both my mom and brother have some form of Depression and ADD with minor once in awhile digestive problems. I know I had to get it from somewhere. I told my mom she should be tested along with dad (he's lactose intolerant...or is he?? lol) but they don't want to nor does my brother. My brother absolutely hates bread, ever since he was little....is it because it hurts him...who knows.

It's just hard because everyone makes me feel like it's all in my head and I'm probably imagining it, and my mom has been the one who was real supportive (and still is) and who kept me going on the gluten free diet, but her telling me it's temporary just made me feel like she too thinks it's in my head. (although I know that's not what she's saying). It's just hard....and hard to explain.

[msmini14]

Some people dont want to admit to having a wheat allergy, if you think about it you would be giving up some of your favorite food. When I was diagnosed I called my Aunt (on dads side), I begged her for months to get tested and she lagged! Well she had her bloodwork done and guess what she has Celiac. Do you think she has gone gluten-free? nope

Well my Grandma on my moms side also came back + with celiac, do you think my mom will get tested? nope good god no, she wouldnt be able to eat all the bad things anymore. Same with my bro he is very over weight, has depression, irritablilty, etc, will he get tested? nope. People dont want to admit to it.

Like I said my ex bf told me it was all in my head, he didnt meet me until after i was dx'd. See I went gluten-free in Feb of 08 and started to get sick again in May. I know my roomates or maybe my ex were tampering with my food. I was sick for 1.5 months and ex tells me everyone gets upset tummies. For 1.5 months? Come on, shut up. You can go away now. So annoying.

Anyway, if you feel good being gluten-free then try to stay that way. Have rice chex always avail to you, I never run out incase I need something quick. There are little things you can pick up so you dont find yourself in that situation again =)

[aikiducky]

It could be that your mom still hopes secretly that it will be temporary, simply because she is your mom and doesn't want to think that you might have a life long strict diet to look forward to. You know? Give it some time and it might be that you both start to feel better about the whole thing.

Pauliina

[BelievinMiracles]

It could be that your mom still hopes secretly that it will be temporary, simply because she is your mom and doesn't want to think that you might have a life long strict diet to look forward to. You know? Give it some time and it might be that you both start to feel better about the whole thing.

Pauliina

You could be right. I think we're all frustrated because we haven't found a black/white answer yet for me. My mom hating seeing me sick all the time and always blamed it on stress. Can stress worsen it? But I know she wants it to be temporary because she sees how hard it is for me to eat and find things to eat. Ever since I went to college my whole family worried about how poorly I ate, and now that I can't have a lot of food anymore, I think they are even more worried.

[DarkIvy]

You could be right. I think we're all frustrated because we haven't found a black/white answer yet for me. My mom hating seeing me sick all the time and always blamed it on stress. Can stress worsen it? But I know she wants it to be temporary because she sees how hard it is for me to eat and find things to eat. Ever since I went to college my whole family worried about how poorly I ate, and now that I can't have a lot of food anymore, I think they are even more worried.

My parents were a lot like that at first, too, for that exact reason. They didn't want me to commit to some crazy hard diet when gluten might not *really* be the culprit. They didn't want me tied down to this pain in the butt disease.

In the end, reason won over and when they realize how much happier and healthier I was on the gluten-free diet, they became some of my biggest supporters.

Come to think of it, I've had a lot of people have this reaction. Others close to me have suggested similar things, like there might be a cure some day, I'll get better some day, or isn't there some medicine I can take so I can just eat a regular meal with them? They're not trying to be rude, they just hate seeing me sick, and they want me to enjoy what they're enjoying. I wouldn't take it personally, though, because this is a difficult concept for people to get. People just don't *see* how crumbs from bread can make you sick, but it can. Sometimes it takes the longest for loved-ones to accept!

[BelievinMiracles]

My parents were a lot like that at first, too, for that exact reason. They didn't want me to commit to some crazy hard diet when gluten might not *really* be the culprit. They didn't want me tied down to this pain in the butt disease.

In the end, reason won over and when they realize how much happier and healthier I was on the gluten-free diet, they became some of my biggest supporters.

Come to think of it, I've had a lot of people have this reaction. Others close to me have suggested similar things, like there might be a cure some day, I'll get better some day, or isn't there some medicine I can take so I can just eat a regular meal with them? They're not trying to be rude, they just hate seeing me sick, and they want me to enjoy what they're enjoying. I wouldn't take it personally, though, because this is a difficult concept for people to get. People just don't *see* how crumbs from bread can make you sick, but it can. Sometimes it takes the longest for loved-ones to accept!

Thank you and appreciate your comment and I do understand...

I guess it's frustrating because as much as it's new to them, it's as new to me.

I know they'll come around eventually! Thank you!