Frustrated!

[Cheryl-C]

So last night we had a family get-together at my place. Because we usually do pot-luck style, I made sure to call people over the last week, go over EXACTLY what they were bringing, all the ingredients, how they would need to process it (to reduce the risk of cc in their kitchen) and everything. Somewhere, somehow, something got me. I still don't know what it was and I probably will never know.

I'm just so frustrated! I don't want to start saying "I'm not eating your food" or "don't bring your food to my house" or "I don't want to do pot luck anymore" but I'm not sure what else to do.

Anyone else deal with this kind of issue? My family has been supportive, though I have one elderly aunt who I think does not 100% understand/remember.

[cyberprof]

So last night we had a family get-together at my place. Because we usually do pot-luck style, I made sure to call people over the last week, go over EXACTLY what they were bringing, all the ingredients, how they would need to process it (to reduce the risk of cc in their kitchen) and everything. Somewhere, somehow, something got me. I still don't know what it was and I probably will never know.

I'm just so frustrated! I don't want to start saying "I'm not eating your food" or "don't bring your food to my house" or "I don't want to do pot luck anymore" but I'm not sure what else to do.

Anyone else deal with this kind of issue? My family has been supportive, though I have one elderly aunt who I think does not 100% understand/remember.

Sorry you got sick. I don't eat potluck items any more or eat at other's houses except my sister's, my parent's and my parents-in-law. When I have potlucks or go to them, I only eat what I brought and I eat it first, before anyone else can stick the noodle-spoon into the rice casserole! It IS somewhat limiting, but most people never notice what I'm doing or if they do they don't make a big deal about it.

So I'm not saying you have to say "I'm not eatng your food" but that is what I have to do. But if your relatives are only happy if you "try" their special signature dish, you may have a problem if you eat it.

CC is so sneaky. Your relatives can use all gluten-free ingredients and be very careful, but can have flour in the air, or bread crumbs that fall into the pot when Uncle Peter takes a piece of bread and dips it into the stew to "Test" it, or use a contaminated plastic colander or cutting board, or forget and use the regular soy sauce, or use the contaminated BBQ grill etc., etc., etc. Really, there are hundreds of ways to slip up, as I did when I glutened myself yesterday. That's one of the worst things about this disease.

But only you can decide how to handle this and what to eat. Good luck!

[missingtortillas]

My sister saves a small amount of food for me before the family starts serving themselves or before she adds the gluten type sauces to it. No one else in the family does that for me but my mom n sisters. Cross contamination is inevitable at a potluck party. Even the salsa bowl becomes unsafe when kids dip chips that are not safe for me to eat. If going to someones house I try to eat first. In real life situations I've had to eat carrots and chips for dinner because I didn't plan ahead. Hate when that happens but it's reality.

[Skylark]

I don't think there is any way to eat safely at a pot luck with non-celiacs. I attend and host pot lucks all the time. I bring a gluten-free main dish, something I'm perfectly happy eating for dinner. The only other things I will eat are obviously gluten-free foods like plain vegetables and fruit, and whatever my two other gluten-free friends bring.

If you say it as "I'm not eating your food" you'll upset people. I say "I don't want you to go to the trouble of worrying about my diet. It's a really a pain to cook this way and it seems like there is gluten in everything. Bring what you like!" I eat my dish and if that's all I get for dinner, it's perfectly fine. I'm there for the company.

Over time, some of my friends have started bringing labeled gluten-free food. It's really nice when someone shows up with a gluten-free cake from Whole Foods.

[tarnalberry]

I don't think there is any way to eat safely at a pot luck with non-celiacs. I attend and host pot lucks all the time. I bring a gluten-free main dish, something I'm perfectly happy eating for dinner. The only other things I will eat are obviously gluten-free foods like plain vegetables and fruit, and whatever my two other gluten-free friends bring.

If you say it as "I'm not eating your food" you'll upset people. I say "I don't want you to go to the trouble of worrying about my diet. It's a really a pain to cook this way and it seems like there is gluten in everything. Bring what you like!" I eat my dish and if that's all I get for dinner, it's perfectly fine. I'm there for the company.

Over time, some of my friends have started bringing labeled gluten-free food. It's really nice when someone shows up with a gluten-free cake from Whole Foods.

Two thumbs up for this advice. Spot on! (And what I do. )

[Cheryl-C]

Thanks everyone for the advice. Because I'm still new to this, I'm finding myself caught off-guard about ALL the things I have to consider.

I was so mad at this party! My (lovely, yet quite elderly and not-quite-getting it) aunt *insisted* on bringing a chocolate cake since it was a birthday party. Never mind that I was one of the people celebrating a birthday (we lump them together) and I couldn't have it. Anyway, I went to Wild Earth and got myself a lovely chocolate cupcake with buttercream icing (amazing) and my mother brought a plate of gluten-free cookies she'd made.

As I reached over to get a cookie off the plate, I saw that many of the cookies had been kind of sprinkled with crumbs from my aunt's gluteny cake. No cookies for me now, thanks a lot. Lesson learned: now I get my cookies first, before they hit the common table. Sigh.

And yes, I think I will definitely be taking my own food for a while, just until my confidence comes back up. Thankfully, my parents are hosting family Christmas this year, which means they will have more control over what is served, and at least I'll be able to have some turkey. Anyone have a recipe for gluten-free stuffing??

[GlutenFreeManna]

Unfortunately, even if people are careful in cooking things for you that are naturally gluten free they likely have gluten in their kitchens and have used the same pot and pans, cutting boards and knifes, spices and sugar to prepare gluten food for years. There will also sometimes be people that think you are over-reacting or this "gluten thing" is all in your head and they will purposely slip some flour into something and tell you it's gluten free. I tend to take the path of least resistance and tell people I prefer they NOT go to any trouble to prepare me gluten free food. I am very sensitive to cc and it's better for me and them if I just prepare my own food. The only exception to this is when I travel to visit my close family and even then I am in the kitchen preparing food with them 95% of the time so I can make sure it's safe. Even my parents who are supportive and understand everything I have to do to avoid cc are not used to living like that 100% of the time and they can make mistakes.

[kareng]

I just went to a potluck tailgate. I knew they were bringing sandwiches and everyone else brings the rest. I brought my own sandwich. I made a hot spicy cheese dip to share. I put a little in a bowl just for me and some chips in a baggie just for me. I brought my own cookies. People take chips with the same hand they just held a sandwich so I'm afraid there will be crumbs in the chips or carrots. Not quite the same as everyone else, but it worked OK.