Need To Get A Job, So Nervous To Leave Daughter With Someone!

[norahsmommy]

EVERY time and I mean EVERY time I ask someone to babysit my daughter she gets gluten somehow. It takes a couple of days to know for sure if she has gotten it because she gets constipated and has tummy issues and crankiness. So by the time symptoms show up no one thinks its their fault she got sick. "oh it couldn't have been something at my house, she didn't get sick until X" My mom feeds her gluten-free cookies out of a bag with a regular cookie chunk dropped in it from my other kids. Or MIL uses the same wash cloth to wipe down my 3 yr old's gluten hands and my 1 yr old's mouth (the 1 yr old is gluten intolerant). Things like this just keep happening! I have gone over our finances and being a SAHM is not going to work for us for a few months at least so I need to find a job. Which means my daughter will be watched by either my mom or my MIL. I can't have her getting gluten all the time! The last time I asked MIL to watch the kids I was releived it would be in OUR home(which is gluten free). It would be really hard to mess up in our house. Well she took the kids to HER house and didnt' tell me because she felt more comfortable there. I am so scared she is going to be constantly sick. THey really don't belive that her gluten intolerance is that big a deal because we don't have a dx yet. She gets severly constipated, has really painful bm's, is really cranky, gets rashes and it takes DAYS to correct with a perfect diet. THey think I am going overboard because I won't use my old cast iron anymore and I bought a new cutting board, and I wont' feed dd things that have been in plastic containers unless I know for a fact that they have only contained gluten-free foods. If everything in her diet is perfect for a couple of weeks she is a totally different child. They just don't see it because they don't spend as much time with her as I do. Its just so frustrating! Even if I print out info they probably won't take it too seriously because she isn't diagnosed. My mom seems supportive until I talk about all the steps I take to make sure she stays gluten free, then she rolls her eyes and says something about it taking too much time or being too expensive.

[Mizzo]

I agree ,It's very frustrating. Some people just refuse to believe.

Anyone over 55 yrs of age grew up without all these diagnosed allergens around and think it's our generation being overly careful. I swear just because an epi-pen isn't required they think it's not real.

I don't know if we can make them see the light, the best we can do is pack all their food, provide all paper goods and plastic ware for serving it on give them good instructions and hope for the best.

good luck.

[norahsmommy]

I agree ,It's very frustrating. Some people just refuse to believe.

Anyone over 55 yrs of age grew up without all these diagnosed allergens around and think it's our generation being overly careful. I swear just because an epi-pen isn't required they think it's not real.

I don't know if we can make them see the light, the best we can do is pack all their food, provide all paper goods and plastic ware for serving it on give them good instructions and hope for the best.

good luck.

I packed ALL my daughters food last time she was at mil's house. I packed dishes and sippy cups, EVERYTHING and not only did MIL not feed her much of the food I packed, she didn't use the dishes I sent because, 'I already have all that stuff." Thats what she told me. I told her not to give her any dairy because we cut it from her diet to see if that helped her tummy and she gave her yoplait, "well it says its gluten free!" and she shared it with my 3 yr old. Wanna bet she was spooning it into my 1 yr olds mouth and then popping the occasional spoonful into my 3 yr olds gluteny mouth.

[kareng]

I think you have established, beyond a reasonable doubt, that your MIL is a danger to your children. Another thought, when she took them to her house, did she have proper car seats?

Maybe you can find a seasonal job when the father is home to watch them? Sounds like a teenage babysitter in your own home is safer than your MIL.

[MacieMay]

Another option... sit them down and talk to them. BEG (if you have to) to get them to respect your wishes. Remind them that YOU are their mother and YOU know what is best for them. Try to remind them what it was like when they were raising their own kids and how they would feel if they were you. You are only trying to do what you think is right for your children and maybe if you point that out and get them to understand, then they would take it more seriously. It's worth a shot! I imagine you would have to sit down and talk to them anyway,when you ask if they will be able to sit for the kids, if you went back to work. Good luck!

If you don't mind me asking...how old is your daughter and why does she not have a diagnosis? I have a toddler who has gluten intolerance but no diagnosis either.

[emaegf]

Check and see if there is a Celiac Support Group in your area. Contact them and let them know your situation. They maybe able to provide someone who can help you with babysitting and since they already know the diet ins and outs you will know your child is safe.

There are also groups called R.O.C.K. (Raising Our Celiac Kids) for parents and kids with Celiac. You can get some tips on how to deal with the grandparents andothers who care for and feed your child.

try these sites to find a group they will list the contact people for the group Celiac Sprue Association Open Original Shared Link

Gluten Intolerance Group Open Original Shared Link

and R.O.C.K. https://www.celiac.com/articles/563/1/ROCK-Raising-Our-Celiac-Kids---National-Celiac-Disease-Support-Group/Page1.html Scroll to the bottom of the page for a list of groups.

[norahsmommy]

Another option... sit them down and talk to them. BEG (if you have to) to get them to respect your wishes. Remind them that YOU are their mother and YOU know what is best for them. Try to remind them what it was like when they were raising their own kids and how they would feel if they were you. You are only trying to do what you think is right for your children and maybe if you point that out and get them to understand, then they would take it more seriously. It's worth a shot! I imagine you would have to sit down and talk to them anyway,when you ask if they will be able to sit for the kids, if you went back to work. Good luck!

If you don't mind me asking...how old is your daughter and why does she not have a diagnosis? I have a toddler who has gluten intolerance but no diagnosis either.

she is 13 months. So far the doc has sent us to an allergist to rule out something simple. But all the allergist did was a skin prick test and that was it. Then he asked if celiac ran in the family and I said no because no one in the family has a dx, and he said ok, come back in 3 months but don't feed her gluten, eggs and dairy and well see if she can handle it then. Thats all. So the in laws are probably thinking I am nuts and don't think its that big a deal. yep, vomiting when fed any large amount of gluten is totally normal, so is white poop, severe constipation, rashes and screaming fits that last for hours.

[emaegf]

Sounds like one of the skin pricks the allergist did was for a gluten allergy and it came out positive.

That's how I found out I had Celiac. I was tested and found allergic and with more tests found out it was Celiac.

[norahsmommy]

Sounds like one of the skin pricks the allergist did was for a gluten allergy and it came out positive.

That's how I found out I had Celiac. I was tested and found allergic and with more tests found out it was Celiac.

well I don't think he did a skin prick specifically for gluten. I know wheat was one of them. She did not have an allergic reaction to wheat. He said she didn't react to anything. But he still told me not to feed her dairy, eggs or gluten. I don't get it.

[MacieMay]

she is 13 months. So far the doc has sent us to an allergist to rule out something simple. But all the allergist did was a skin prick test and that was it. Then he asked if celiac ran in the family and I said no because no one in the family has a dx, and he said ok, come back in 3 months but don't feed her gluten, eggs and dairy and well see if she can handle it then. Thats all. So the in laws are probably thinking I am nuts and don't think its that big a deal. yep, vomiting when fed any large amount of gluten is totally normal, so is white poop, severe constipation, rashes and screaming fits that last for hours.

If celiac doesn't run in the family, maybe she just has an intolerance and will outgrow it. That is what I am hoping. My daughter had a lot of the same things going on, the rashes and lots mushy poops were the biggies. We were allergy tested and did the full celiac work up, she has had two celiac panels and the scope (endo and colon). Everything was negative. Then I pushed for the gene testing, which was negative too. She is my third girl, I just knew something wasn't right. This was over the summer, she was on and off gluten per request of the different Dr's. Finally, my husband convinced a Derm to do a skin biopsy of one of her rashes and we got a diagnosis but it was a different auto-immune, it's called Juvenile Dermatomyositis (JDM). BUT... I've been told by her Rhuematologist that her GI issues are not related to the JDM. We went strickly gluten-free the day she had her skin biopsy, I knew we were getting a diagnosis with that test. She has been sooooooo much better since that day and we didn't start treatment for her JDM until 4 weeks later, so I know the gluten-intolerance is a real thing. I guess, I'm sharing my story because I know how you feel when you say people think you are crazy. If you don't have the diagnosis then people don't want to believe you. We do have a diagnosis. She has a gluten-intolerance and intolerance to dairy (which by the way, is getting better since going gluten-free). I insisted our GI put that diagnosis in her chart. I was afraid of not being taken seriously while under-going treatment for her other disease. She is 21 months now and doing really well, I contribute the gluten-free diet to that (among some other things). Stand strong and hold your ground! We know what is right for our kids! Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving!

[tarnalberry]

the skin test doesn't test for celiac - it tests for an allergy. they are two different things. not only that, but the skin tests are notoriously unreliable for diagnosing food allergies. his advice - eliminate it and then challenge - is the best way to figure out what food is bothering her. unfortunately, your family's work on ignoring doctor's orders is going to make that testing worthless if they don't shape up and do what the doctor said.