I'm Worried I My Kids Have It Since I Do And 2, That Their School Will Send Them To The Office To Sit There If There Is A School Party.

[mommyto2kids]

In my heart, I think there is a good chance my kids have it. They will be tested in the next 3 weeks. I'm afraid their school will send them to the office to sit during one of the many school parties. I've talked to administration and they have no interest in making eating at school any healthier, nor did my son's teacher last year. This is a one school district. So no backup for help. We are guests in the district, so they could say if you want special treatment, go to your own school. It has lots of low education and crime.If this is the case, do I just pick them up early on party days or not send them to school? How do they accomodate your child if he has celiac disease?

Any helpful laws, books or sources that may help me? Anyone know anyone high up in education in CA that may be able to help me? When my son broke his leg at school, he sat in the office for 9 weeks during recess. That was also when he fell off the playground structure and had a cuncusion on the playground. I am burned out from them banishing him to the office. So if you attended a school that was good accademically but was as I describe, please suggest how you would approach the situation to get a result other than banishment to the office. My kids will be in first and second.

Thanks so much.

[eah4me]

I also live in CA and have had to deal with the public school system and their lack of interest in dealing with children with food allergies. Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do legally unless you want to get really aggressive and hire a lawyer to try and pursue the "discrimination" aspect of how they are handling your situation. Certainly it is wrong, but getting the school to understand and do anything about it is very difficult. The way I handled it was to deal with the individual teacher at each grade level and leave the principal/administration out of it as they were impossible to talk to. I wouldn't try to fight a big fight like getting the cafeteria to offer gluten free/allergan free meals...just accept the school won't make big changes, but should certainly be willing to help you in accomodating your child's needs. I would love to see more awareness in the public schools and menus with options for food allergic/special dietary needs kids, but I think that is going to be a long time in the coming and for the short term, not an easy fix to your problem. I found that offering alternatives to how to handle class parties was the best approach. I bought packages of treats that my daughter could have for those impromptu parties where I had no prior notice and just asked the teacher to hand that to her instead of what was being served. For planned parties, I would always volunteer to provide one of the snacks...usually a baked good, and would just make it so that she could eat it. No need to tell everyone they are gluten and dairy free...kids don't know the difference. Just serve them up and your child will not feel singled out or different since they will all be eating the same thing! As far as sending your child to the office for parties, I don't understand at all why they would think that was necessary. If they insist on doing something so out of line as that, I would go to the school board and make the biggest stink possible! That is ridiculous. Contact your local news station and let them know what is going on. I live in a pretty small town, and our local news people love interesting local stories like that!! Hope that helps some.

[divamomma]

Academically this school may be good but it seems your children may be safer (and happier, who wants to sit in the office for 9 weeks!) elsewhere.

[mommyto2kids]

Yes But we are going to try to make it work here. Bringing in a gluton free treat does sound like a good idea. But I would want to teach my kids that it is gluton free and safe for them to eat. Whether the other kids understand that, it doesn't really matter. There is no limit on party day of what parents bring in. Maybe you'll get 15 cakes and ten boxes of cookies. And they let the kids eat all they want. So a not real safe place for a celiac kid. I really don't think my ds should be in there with soooo many treats and no one really going to tell him he can't have it. It would be better if there was a safe place he could go at school during party time that wouldn't seem like a punishment. I don't know what my rights are since we are out of district. I'm in CA. Does anyone know how I could find that out? No I'll not make an issue for lunch time. It is the very many parties and endless large cupcakes that are sent to school. And then most of those kids have a birthday party with more cake as well. Have any of your schools gone healthy eating for partis or have an alternative for cupcakes on birthdays? If so, is the infor on your school website. If you'd feel comfortable, please post. I don't think we can send private messages from this site. DD's class has been more health contious. The teachers or admin refuse to get involved and let the parents handle it. So they love endless junk in my son's seond grade class and less so in my dd's first grade. Maybe I could bring them in late after the party. I think the party is from 10:30-11:45. I don't think they would change the time.

If my 2 do test positive, what is the first step I should do? I don't think it is fair if they have it and the school keeps feeding it to them. Does anyone know of a printable flyer about celiac in kids that I could print and give to the school? I think they would group it with a hyper mom that doesn't want her kid to have sugar or add or something not very serious. I just anticipate ya ya don't impose your views on me attitude. We are happy how things are. Leave us alone. Would I call the principal, the teacher in and my husband for a meeting about what celiac is and how are we going to handle it? They say we have a school nurse that comes once a week for a few hours. I truly don't believe there is one.Sorry this is so long. I just want to have a plan should my fears be confirmed and they have it.

[SilverSlipper]

My daughter was diagnosed her kindergarten year and we immediately began teaching her what she could and couldn't have and how to read ingredients. I can understand wanting to remove your kids from an environment of food they cannot have, however, Celiac is a life-long condition. They won't be able to do that forever and I'm not sure that removing them is a practical solution. You may want to consider sending them in with their own bags and bags of junk food including items to share with friends (if that is allowed). Depending on whether you like to cook, you can make some 'knock-off's' of various goodies that are really, really good.

We've lived in two different districts but both were agreeable to providing gluten free lunches and classroom accomodations. My daughter has a 504 Plan in place as Celiac Disease does affect one's ability to learn if it's not managed. Schools have a legal requirement to do these things but I understand that not every district complies.

I would start by getting a note from the doctor who diagnosed them that they had Celiac Disease and asking her/him for handouts for the school. Then I would approach the teacher and try to work out what you need (since it doesn't sound like you are going to ask for other things, just the birthday situation). A good suggestion is for there to be one class party day each month where all the kids' birthdays (in that month) are celebrated. I know that some districts allow two items brought in - one sweet (usually cake) and one salty (chips/pretzels). Nothing else. In that case, you could send in a gluten free cupcake and chips without it being a big deal. I've found school districts to be agreeable especially if there's not much for them to do. So, I've always suggested that parents approach schools with a 'partnership' frame of mind.

Good luck!

[tarnalberry]

It would be better if there was a safe place he could go at school during party time that wouldn't seem like a punishment.

There is no where else you can send him that won't be a punishment. Being excluded from what your classmates are doing (*especially* a party) is going to be seen as punishment. (Been there, done that when I was in school. It sucked, and affects how well he integrates into the student culture.) Definitely work on teaching them both what they can and can't have and bring substitutes. And, of course, talk to the teachers.

[domesticactivist]

We haven't had to deal with this on an ongoing basis because we are homeschoolers. However, my kids do a lot of camps and classes. The single most important thing we've learned is that it's critical for the children to learn to advocate for themselves!!!

We put information on our son's form for his last class and sent all his own food of course (as did all the other families). But on the very first day all the kids were taken to Burgerville for shakes!!! My son was the only one who couldn't have one, and the teachers kept trying to get him to take one because it wasn't bread. Then when they got that he couldn't have a milkshake (sugar, corn, milk, who knows what in the flavoring and color, cross-contamination, etc) they tried to get him to eat fries and other foods off the menu. He had to explain to all the kids and the teachers repeatedly that he only eats food from home so as to avoid cross contamination (and other ingredients that are not allowed on the GAPS diet, though we don't bother explaining that, usually).

This makes him feel singled out and he doesn't like it. Fortunately, he likes being sick even less. He had similar experiences with well-meaning kids (and a bully) at a home education resource center. Other kids offer food all the time (especially when they are jealous of your kids' lunch and want to trade!!!). It's important for kids to be VERY CLEAR on what is safe and what is not safe. Our rule is only eat foods from home or certain trusted friends.

In the school, I'd be most concerned about the following things:

- HAND WASHING (most schools seem to just use hand sanitizer which does nothing to protect your child) -

Kids need to wash their hands before and after eating, and after using things like playdough or glue. Shared toys and craft products can make your children sick!

- CRUMBS EVERYWHERE - Food needs to be eaten in designated areas and cleaned up with soap and water and clean rags or better yet paper towels.

- UNSAFE FOOD BEING OFFERED - Make sure your children know not to trade food, ever, and not to accept food from teachers or kitchen staff unless it is sealed and they know you packed it. Make sure the staff know they are not to offer your children food (or worse, make them eat ANYTHING, even stuff you sent).

- UNFAIR TREATMENT - In my state the school is legally bound to include your child and make accommodations. I'm pretty sure that's the same in California

[domesticactivist]

ps. I do not understand why a kid with a broken leg can't go outside with the other kids. He may not be playing soccer, but he could still talk with his friends, get some fresh air, and not be totally isolated. It seems totally unacceptable to me.

[kareng]

Mommyto2,

You can message people on here. I sent you one so you can see. In the upper right corner there will be a highlighted number. I think you also get a message above the list of new topics.

To message people- click on their name or picture. Under the picture on that page it takes you to it says " send message"

[kareng]

Checked out school district website, parent handbook & the elementary school website. Not a mention of classroom parties or food in the class rooms. Really no mention of allergies at all.I

[mommyto2kids]

The thing was in k he couldn't be trusted to stay away from the playground structure. The teacher was sick so took them out to free play most of the time. Frankly she didn't want to deal with it so sent him to the office. Finally the teacher had me pick him up at recess, lunch because she didn't want to watch him and the office personnel were tired of watching him. I think all the stress from that may have triggered celiac now that I think about it. So from previous poor treatment from the school, I worry about having to deal with them should my kids have celiac disease.

Thanks so much for your ideas. I'll keep you posted when I know their results.

[domesticactivist]

Good luck with those results and dealing with the school. It sounds like there are not a lot of options for other schools in your area, but in your shoes I'd seriously question whether that school was right for my child.

My (radical - I'm a homeschooler, remember) opinion is that the numbers a school puts up for tests scores or reputation or whatever matter a lot less than the experience you and your child have with that school. Even a school with bad numbers academically can be a good fit if the people you are actually dealing with care about you and welcome your involvement and pay attention to your child's needs. And your child can do well academically even in a setting that is not very academically focused, given parental involvement.

Some schools have great numbers because they basically make anyone who doesn't fit the mold so miserable that they leave. Even if the academics are great, if the school is doing things that harm your child socially, physically and emotionally, it will not be a great learning environment for your child.

Do you know who your child's teacher will be next year? I think the most important thing is to have a good working relationship with that person. If that person really gets it and wants the best for your child, it will probably work out. If not, there is not much you can do to make it a good thing, and I'd look into other options.