Im 29, i started being shyier and shyier as I got older. I think it was just because I was a little slower thinking/temporary ADD, I was not antisocial I just was quiet. My few friends from high school are gone, moved away one by one. Since being on the diet for several months I am not as shy and a little more outgoing and Im not afraid of social situations because I think clearer. I feel like I just be able to make friends easier now, but I'm so used to being quiet I'm kinda stuck in my ways, I'm mentally capable of being more outgoing but I'm just set in my ways. Never thought Id be like this, took all my buds for granted, I have a wife and kids but I feel alone and it really bothers me that I have no buds. Anyone else going through anything like this?
Your not alone. Until a freind from 20 years ago came back into my life last year I hadn't had any friends in many, many years. It is hard. Do you have any hobbies? Sometimes we can make friends when we share an interest like stamp collecting, playing pool, book clubs etc.
Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)
celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45 Blood tested and repeatedly negative Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002 Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002 Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007
Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56 Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15
Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom
Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007
Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007 HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303
I can totally relate. From my chronic fatigue and GI issues it has been hard to keep or make friends. As well, because of school, I've had to move around the country a fair bit to go to different universities and have lost a lot of my friends that way. It is also hard to go out for fun and cultivate friendships when most of your energy goes into keeping yourself and your family afloat (and in my case getting through grad school). As a result I am more withdrawn than what I used to be, but I would like to change that once I get my life stabilized somewhat.
As ravenwood suggested, if you have any hobbies, it is a good way to make connections. Join a group that shares common interests, or if you are so inclined, a celiac support group in your area. It would probably be nice to talk to other people who share in the same struggles as you. As well, some of my best friendships have been through work, so maybe becoming a little more social during coffee breaks and lunch would be a good way to find people you can spend some time with.
chronic fatigue, overall body pain, brain fog, headaches since August 2006
chronic nausea since July, 2011
gluten, casein, soy free since April 19, 2012
potato, corn, oat intolerant
My husband is an only child and really doesn't have many close friends. He is perfectly fine by himself. He was a youth pastor for several years and just identified with the teenagers more. They were his buddies. We recently changed churches and so he had to find some "grown up" friends. I crack up at him because he is a salesman who can talk to anyone but lets very few people "in". The ones he does have, he found at church. We changed to a new one in May and so it has been tough for him. But he did sign up to go on a fishing trip with some men and joined a small group. He joined their fantasy football team (trash talking is his love language...lol). It is getting better but I am not sure he'll ever have a "best friend" like he did in college or like women do. He just is fine hanging out with us.
I understand this completely. I'll be 22 in a month and I am in a similar situation, stuck in the past. When I was on a successful gluten free diet I was really outgoing, now I think I may be reacting to something or another or possibly have a flu so I'm super exhausted. But, in general, since going gluten free my personality has blossomed. I'm so much more outgoing and have the ability to talk to people more. In my past, I really didn't have that ability, I was too exhausted and with my history of depression, I didn't want to. I fully believe that my gluten intolerance is strongly related to my mood and has a huge influence on it. Anyways, now that I'm outgoing and able to talk with people I'm stuck. I'm stuck with my past behaviors. It's almost as if my past, being mostly alone, has become habit. Habit is difficult to break, especially because it is comfortable. I've started branching out, I've joined a club at my college and the people are great. I even had a conversation start with someone over something as simple as my purse. I didn't even know her, we just started talking and I managed to hold my own in the conversation. Being random can really pay off. And exposing yourself to social situations will help you meet people more - like simply reading a book at the cafe in a bookstore, you never know who may stop and say "hey I know that book!".