Feeling Somewhat Ashamed...

[GIJane]

I have been struggling off and on since I was diagnosed with a sense of responsibility for emotions and events that now seem to have been somewhat beyond my control and gluten-induced. Last year was an incredibly challenging year for me with many personal milestones and a pesky illness that I couldn't quite pin down. The doctors tested me for AIDS, Cancer, Thyroid problems, Diabetes and finally, four months into the testing, discovered that I have celiacs. Two months later they lumped Microscopic colitis on as a second diagnosis. I have worked really hard to adopt the gluten-free diet and have met with considerable success. I am eating better than I ever have--even though I've always tried to eat well. I am also feeling much better, though still not 100%. I am often more tired than I think I should be and it took a long time for my emotions to settle down. I now feel much more stable and balanced than I did all last year, and perhaps ever.

In any event, I am writing about my emotions. For much of last year, I was a wreck. I worried constantly. I cried often. Small things became big things and I questioned everything--my loved ones love for me, whether I was doing the right thing, whether I was a good person, if I believed in God, etc. The questions produced more stress. And, all along, I was trying so hard to do the right thing and felt like I was constantly failing: I wasn't seeing enough of friends and I was taking all my fear and anxiety out on the people who meant the most to me. This behavior fueled my fear that I would compromise the relationships that mattered most.

Anyway, four months into my gluten-free diet and much more settled, I look back on last year and sometimes feel sheer relief that I've found the cause for my sadness and anxiety (gluten), other times, I just feel ashamed. My family assures me that I am, in fact, being too hard on myself. I was undeniably emotional and sometimes irrational and maybe more fearful than I ever needed to be. It wasn't easy for them because they love me and were worried, but I was always very loving, despite the crying and moodiness.

I've mainly internalized their reassurance, but there are still days--like today--when I wake up and feel bad about myself. I think: who am I that I could have sunk to that depth? Why was I capable of that? And I'm frightened that I could return to that low. I keep telling myself that depression is an unfortunate side effect of celiacs (and I think I was unknowingly depressed last year; at the time I chalked it up to stress) and now that I'm on the gluten-free diet and feeling better I will stay this way. celiac disease and the gluten-free diet are still very new to me and I suppose, with time, last year will come to feel like the aberation that it was--the consequence of a disease, not a reflection on me or my character.

I wonder: have any of you had to make peace with the emotional complications of celiac disease?

[quantumsugar]

I wonder: have any of you had to make peace with the emotional complications of celiac disease?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Answer to your question: no. But I am getting better and better each day. I was having a really tough time for a while (not quite the same emotions, but yucky emotions nonetheless); I found I really had to let myself mourn over the fact that I had celiac disease (etc). Then I had to stop dwelling on it.

I would take your emotional problems as:

1. ) A physiological depression that anyone (like many of us on this board can attest) would experience. It has very little to do with mental strength, and all to do with the fact that your body is getting depressed. This is always apparent to me when I get glutened--I am on the verge of tears for days. I am unreasonably sad. I usually laugh about it, because I know I'm not mentally sad, my body is sad. It's easy to see when it comes out of nowhere, and a whole lot harder when it's progressive.

2.) Something to remember how strong you ARE. Don't look at the fact that you crumbled; given enough, anyone'll do that. Look at the fact that you made it through. You made it through physiological depression, other intense physical symptoms (I'm guessing), and months of confusion and tests. All of that isn't even looking at anything else in your life.... I think we're all kind of amazing sometimes, because we've been through that much. Something that helps me if I'm feeling weak, is to make a list of all the crappy things in my life I've had to deal with... to survive all that, I had to be incredibly strong.

Hope any of this helped, and good luck!

[Zoeysfat]

I haven't come to terms with the depression, but it is reassuring to hear that someone else feels the same way I do. (sorry, I didn't mean for that to seem mean in anyway!) I can't really or totally put my finger on why I feel so depressed. I was diagnosed with celiac disease in April of this year and have been doing my best to stay gluten free, learning about where all to find gluten has been an steep up hill climb. Thank God I found this web site!!! My husband has been very supportive of me, and I love him soo much for it. I too wake up feeling bad about myself, tierd, unable to sleep, anxious, spacey yet my brain races so fast at times. I have a fear of food now which I am trying to fight, but am loosing the fight right now. Anyway, advice, other experiences from you celiac disease'ers out there would be great. I feel like a freak at times, just hearing (reading :huh) others lives makes me feel better, and normal.

Denice

[FaithInScienceToo]

First, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this post.

You are courageous to face the FULL reality of 'having a life-time disease'...

YES...I, too, went through emotional fall-out from my celiac disease, and I still do, although it is nothing compared to how it was before going gluten-free.

Our biochemistry is 'unrelentingly' linked to our emotions - Yes, once we understand this, we can try to use 'cognitive therapy' thinking skills to help us through our down times...but, that is only when we develop 20-20 vision about how celiac disease makes us feel vulnerable...

The vulnerability that an undiagnosed, or mis-diagnosed dis-ease creates makes us fearful...makes us question everything around us...even our own mental stability, or ability to ever achieve emotional stability...since our bodies take us on a roller-coaster of emotions...our biochemistry is in control, until we begin to understand that we CAN take some control...

We can CHOOSE to ignore the sadness, the fear...to BELIEVE that our loved ones DO love us, and that we sometimes feel like wounded animals, and must, at those times, find within ourselves...GREAT COMPASSION...for everyone...and also focus only on our health at those times...and not act out against others, or allow our pain, our fear, to contaminate our relationships...

OK...all of that was easy to write, but, as you well know, it is not easy to 'implement' in real life...

This is where things like deep relaxation techniques, extreme self-care, hobbies, faith (for some, faith in God, for others like me, faith in Love and Science), and cognitive therapy, etc come in...we MUST not only have 'an aresenal' of physical treaments for ourselves at those times, but also an aresenal of emotional treatments...

NOW...I want to focus on what I 'hear' about you, from what you wrote, that rings so close to home with me...

NOT FORGIVING YOURSELF, simply for being human.

You MUST let go of any delusions of thinking it is OK to expect yourself to have 'known better' when you didn't...

As Oprah's mentor, Maya Angelou, likes to say..."You can't do better unless you know better"...you know better now...you know that your biochemistry CAN and WILL make you emotionally vulnerable...and you NOW know that you cannot allow those times to harm your emotional relationships...with others and with yourself...

You MUST, at those times, 'baby-yourself' and let others know that you need to do that...that you are not 'up' for any heavy duty decisions, or discussions, at those times, etc...You MUST also CHOOSE to not question love at those times...your love for others, their love for you, and your love for yourself...

What you went through couldn't have been ANY different.

Embrace it, and find a way to be grateful for your experiences...for the pain...even for any losses...loss of the illusion that you can be a perfect person...

Being human MEANS not being perfect, MEANS having to experience pain and vulnerability...you will ALWAYS have painful and vulnerable experiences, with or without celiac disease, and you WILL never, ever deal with those times 'perfectly'...but you can learn from the past and keep improving :-)

Being loving towards yourself MEANS acceptiing your flaws, and doing what you can NOW to create more love and happiness in your life...and letting go of the past...seeing that you did the best you could THEN...

It also MEANS 'letting go' of impossible expectations of others...

and being in the moment...with yourself first, and others second, but also making sure that you keep boundaries between your own pain and their love...

I know all of this sounded 'intelllectual' at times, and maybe even like I feel as if I know better...

I don't...

I am at the same place you are...

Learning to let go of the past, being thankful for ALL of it, and moving ahead...

even if it means letting go of some relationships.

I am also learning to be courageous.

I love Oprah...she says so many cool things.

The other day, when she had Uma Thurman on (post Uma's divorce), she said to Uma:

"Courage is being afraid, and doing it anyway."

It brings up fear to have to accept our vulnerability, and fully feel it...to have to fully grieve our flaws...and to commit 100% to embracing the future...to being healthy...letting go of the familiar 'sickness'...and of all of the self-pity that can come with it...

You are courageous...I can hear it...

You'll be OK...I can hear that, too.

And, I also hear 'a kindred spirit' in what you shared.

I imagine that all of us will identify with what you shared., in some way

You are DEFINITELY not alone.

I feel as if I could have written what you wrote...but I didn't, I couldn't even think to until now...

You wrote it, and it helped me SO MUCH to read it...

So, thank you for being courageous enough to have written your post.

I, too, hope that something I may have written can make your experience with celiac disease easier.

Love, Gina

[FaithInScienceToo]

Denice, I just read your post, after sending mine...

We ARE here for you...

You WILL improve...life WILL be better...

keep reading posts here...and look into more ways to help yourself emotionally.

Cognitive behavior therapy is a good start...

Here are some links for you:

Open Original Shared Link

Also check out TheAlbert Ellis Institute - his cognitive therapy is called "Rational-emotive behavior therapy' and is great...check out their bookstore, and links to depression and anxiety, etc:

Open Original Shared Link

With love,

Gina

[Nantzie]

I feel the same way... I was always one of those people who said, when I had kids I would never snap at my kids for every little thing.

Well, here I am, eating gluten so I can get tests done, feeling spaced out, tired, angry, depressed, anxious and sick. On top of all that, I'm fighting off the cold that my kids have had for like two weeks. Plus my kids are almost two and three, so they're at that tantrum age anyway. Them being sick just adds a whole 'nother layer to it all.

So yea, I'm snapping. I can hardly stand myself.

I know when it's all said and done and I start feeling better, I'll start being more easy with my kids.

I've been around quite a bit of depression and anxiety in my life, as it runs in my family. So I know how completely any type of depression effects you. It's a mental, emotional, spiritual AND physical condition. Depression makes you feel spaced out, tired, anxious, sick, angry, etc. So I think that when you're depressed because of a physical condition, it gets pretty bad because you're already dealing with something that makes you feel physically bad. But with something like celiac, where so many of the symptoms ARE similar to depression, when you start suffering from classical depression because of the celiac symptoms, it's like a ton rocks has fallen on the ton of bricks you've already been dealing with.

So you kind of have to be gentle and understanding with yourself. Just like you'd be if someone you loved was going through the same thing. Somehow, the understanding and gentleness, even if the only place that it comes from is inside of you, helps so much.

I'm glad you're feeling better.

Nancy

[tarnalberry]

It sounds to me, from your post, that your expectations for yourself were too high. You are human - human failings, human emotions, human limitations, and human reactions. Sometimes, when looking back on our past behavior, we do react just that way, "How could I have done that?!". But it's important to follow up on that question, in an introspective manner. What happened in the past happened; you can't change it, erase it, or replace it. But you can learn from it. I see two likely scenarios here: your behaviors at the time were perfectly reasonable given the situation, but your expectations of your behaviors was inconsistent with reasonable expectations OR your behaviors at the time were not perfectly reasonable given the situation, but you have the ability to reflect on the internal causes of those behaviors and remedy the causes of them.

Honestly, I'm guessing the first one is more likely the case, because we tend to be hardest upon ourselves. But even if it's the latter, beating yourself up won't help, but learning why you had those behaviors will. For instance, if you were pushing people away while sick, it could be a sign of low-self-esteem. (Push them away before they leave on their own, kind of thing.) Then you consider why you might feel "unworthy" just because you're sick - don't the people who care about you care about you regardless of your state of health, and so on... (This is all an example, and I'm not trying to say it's what happened.)

Of course, you can't overlook the impact that that being sick for so long has. You may even want to talk to a psychologist about it, as the ramficiations are very significant in our lives. Not only could there be chemical changes that affected your behavior, but the effect of constant pain on behavior is profound as well.

Don't be too hard on yourself, and it's fabulous that you're starting to get better!

[Guest BellyTimber]

It's breath-taking what I've achieved, considering in how far-reaching ways gluten affected me throughout my life till I gave it up at 48.

It was the biggest intimacy of my life. Not a day but I would go to meet it and commune with it several times a day for 48 years.

The bodily complications from that period are if anything worse now (they might gradually improve in another year or so).

The mess-ups, either people took them less seriously than I did, or they didn't know about them, or they did know and they were serious ones but they were determined to let me off the hook.

Because we are preoccupied with what happened to us we don't notice what happened to someone else.

And my achievements, however ordinary to the glance of another, have me in awe.

Emotions that rival all the world's top funfair rides rolled into one, fatigue, despair, confusion ... that's all allowed.

I have survived so far !!!!!!!

And the next is a new phase, whether we feel better or still ill, it's a new phase with new intimacies ...

[nettiebeads]

celiac disease and the gluten-free diet are still very new to me and I suppose, with time, last year will come to feel like the aberation that it was--the consequence of a disease, not a reflection on me or my character.

I wonder: have any of you had to make peace with the emotional complications of celiac disease?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You haven't been far enough along on the gluten-free diet to get the full emotional benefits of being gluten-free. Please lighten up on yourself - you did the best you could considering the circumstances. The fact that you are concerned about how you affected others says a lot about your character. The longer you go gluten-free, the more emotionally stable you will become. Me - I don't really remember life without depression (my first episode was when I was 9), but when I've been glutened, I bottom out. What helps is that knowing it will run its course and then I will come out on the other side and go on.

As far as making peace with the emotional complications - I know I didn't ask for this disease and sure wouldn't wish it on anyone else. When I get glutened now, I know what I'm in for and sort of isolate myself from my husband - we've been together for three years and is very understanding. I so try not to snap because the celiac disease makes me quite irritable and just lay low until it passes. As you can see from the other posts, you have hit on quite an exposed nerve for everybody. So don't feel so alone, don't be hard on yourself. You didn't ask for this disease either, but now that you are aware of the emotional complications, you can do what you need to do for yourself and others around you to lessen the effects - read, watch movies, hobbies, whatever. Hope you are feeling better physically and emotionally very soon.

[laurelfla]

reading this thread has done me so much good just now!!

i don't want any of us to have to go through emotional difficulties in addition to the physical ones with this crazy disease, but it's definitely reassuring to me to hear them voiced. i've been gluten-free for about 2 1/2 months and i am getting spacier and spacier... i'm pretty sure no gluten is getting in and yet i feel like some of the emotional aspects are getting rougher as i go. i have the energy of a sloth and i find myself being snappish with my cat when he is just trying to play, and that makes me burst into tears. anyway, GIJane, i hope that you are able to make peace with your situation. when i told my mom that mood swings were one of the symptoms of celiac disease back when i got diagnosed, she said that she and my dad had thought for a long time i'd been moody. i just chalk it up as a time when i didn't know what was going on. now that i know, i try to lay low as nettiebeads said. good luck!!

Laurel.

[FaithInScienceToo]

And my achievements, however ordinary to the glance of another, have me in awe.

Emotions that rival all the world's top funfair rides rolled into one, fatigue, despair, confusion ... that's all allowed.

I have survived so far !!!!!!!

And the next is a new phase, whether we feel better or still ill, it's a new phase with new intimacies ...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

VERY COOL.

I really liked how you 'put' that, Michael -

Gina

[Matilda]

..

[ianm]

It does get better and I am living proof of that. In early 2004 I was days away from losing a job that I had been at for nearly 15 years. A new boss had started when my celiac disease was raging out of control and I had no clue as to what was wrong. The boss told me I was the sorriest loser he had ever known. I was obese and my health was a mess. I am convinced I would have died before 40, I am 38 now, if I had not discovered what was wrong. I have lost the weight and have energy and mental clarity that I never knew was possible. Everybody used to complain because I couldn't keep up with them. Now they complain because they can't keep up with me. My boss said "I don't know what you did but keep doing it."

My employer is a part of a group of 16 companies all in the same industry owned by an investment firm. My boss appointed me to a corporate panel to decide on a uniform software platform. Of all the people he could have picked he picked the one he used to despise the most. This has been an extremely bloody fight but so far my boss said I have come out with both guns blazing and have dominated the whole thing.

celiac disease destroyed my marriage but I now have a wonderful girlfriend. Ironically she is or I should say was a close friend of my ex-wife. I once never even imagined I would be involved with a woman like the one I have now.

I recently finished my bachelors degree and will start graduate school in January.

Believe me this has been an extremely painful and difficult fight but it is so worth it. Many, many times I thought about giving up. My life has become something that I never dreamed it could be. Ironically celiac disease is the single best thing that has ever happened to me. My life would never have become what it is without it. In order to enjoy the good things in life one must have suffered as well. Truer words have never been spoken.

[Guest nini]

I really appreciate the honesty in all of these posts. It resonates so true with me. I struggled with depression, anxiety and emotional instability for years. Prior to my dx, I was also in danger of losing my job. I work in a chiropractors office, and my boss couldn't understand why I was such a mess all the time. Look at me funny and I burst into tears. I too was obese and miserable. Now I've lost 80 pounds, still have a ways to go, but the depression, anxiety and emotional ups and downs are a thing of the past. (except when I have PMS!)

Thank you all for the courage to write about your most vulnerable feelings. I'm so grateful to all of you.

[FaithInScienceToo]

These posts are simply beautiful,

and this thread has impacted me more than any other -

I am now going to send it to my boyfriend...so that he can understand better the effects of Celiac Disease on those who had to suffer before diagnosis, and who now fear being glutened post-diagnosis.

He is very good about my having to protect myself but I think this will be received well by him - and that he'll want to protect me from accidental 'glutening' even more than he already does...

Gee...it's really 'accidental poisoning,' isn't it?

We HAVE been through a lot - all of us -

Horray for us! We are survivors!

Gina

[par18]

My biggest hurdle was trying to determine how long it would take me to regain the lost weight and resume an active lifestyle. I felt as though it was a catch-22 situation. I had to eat about 3000 calories a day with no appetite. I then had to try to sleep at night after having had no exercise. All I did was eat and worry. I would consider myself the classic what if person. What if I did not respond to the diet. What if something else develops as the result of this disease. What if I missed a meal. I took prescripitions for nerves and insomnia. What if I could not sleep without the drugs. I felt as though it all revolved around my inactive lifesyle and lack of patience. No one told me I could possibly be ok in about 3 months. The response was 6 months to 2 years. Well I am happy to report that it only took 3

months and I eat, sleep and do the same things as before without drugs or gluten. I don't feel sorry for myself or think people should go out of their way to try to understand my situation. I for the most part feel like the same person as before except for the altered lifestyle. I do know that I have gotten the most satisfaction talking with other celiacs in my support group meetings in my hometown. The only time I give my disease a lot of thought is at mealtime. Feeling fine physically and doing the things I like fill up my days now. I will deal with other issues only if they become a problem. In the beginning I was very depressed but I promised myself that if I improved physically then I would make myself better mentally and I did. Good luck to you.

[emk]

I experienced exactly all the same things emotionally, and to tell you the truth what got me through was my faith in God. I feel like this whole year since being diagnosed is going to be devoted to repairing relationships because of my problems from last year.

I"m in college, and it's hard because many times I felt like the people here at school don't even know the real me, because the sick me was so terrible.

Emotinally, it gets better in about 3-6 months. For me it was a slow and step-by-step process, and sometimes you don't even realize it's happening until you look back and see how far you've come. Just be sure to read every label, b/c sometimes I still don't and your moods/crazed feelings return. And don't sit in between people at a dinner table who are eating bread that is in the middle of a tabe because believe me crumbs will get on your plate.

It get's so much better I promise, and usually if you are still moody make sure you are gluten-free for sure, because that had happened to me, and I didn't even know it for a long time.

[ryebaby0]

I am not the celiac at our house, let me say that first (my son and husband were dx a year apart). Most celiacs are diagnosed after months or years of uncertainty and illness. Years of discovering that the typical faith we have in doctors we knew and loved was misguided or misplaced or simply overestimated. Months of wondering if whatever was wrong would be dx in time to save the ones we love. Months of thinking you had an answer, finding out you didn't. Hurry up and wait. That test means this, unless it doesn't. Take this medicine, but watch for this.

So you acquire skepticism, pain, bitterness, anger, exasperation, grief and fatigue. You are tired of platitudes, bumper stickers, and people who say "so pasta has wheat in it? Are you sure?" or "I know it's safe, go ahead and eat it". Then when you finally get a definitive diagnosis you are supposed to be relieved, in between reading labels for ingredients you don't know about, finding out your favorite food will NEVER be allowed again, trying styrofoam bread, and explaining, explaining, explaining, explaining......

Given all of that, I think ANYONE who gets up every day and says "Ok. I can do this. I will do this. I will learn and adjust and GET ON WITH MY LIFE in its new incarnation" is a wonderous, lovely, resiliant, admirable and amazing person. Even if you don't feel like it every time you look in the mirror. Grieving is a process, depression is a deep well, but you sound like you are on a good road. Let your family love you, and grieve for what you had expected life to be like, and look forward, not back.

joanna

[Zoeysfat]

I am not the celiac at our house, let me say that first (my son and husband were dx a year apart). Most celiacs are diagnosed after months or years of uncertainty and illness. Years of discovering that the typical faith we have in doctors we knew and loved was misguided or misplaced or simply overestimated. Months of wondering if whatever was wrong would be dx in time to save the ones we love. Months of thinking you had an answer, finding out you didn't. Hurry up and wait. That test means this, unless it doesn't. Take this medicine, but watch for this.

So you acquire skepticism, pain, bitterness, anger, exasperation, grief and fatigue. You are tired of platitudes, bumper stickers, and people who say "so pasta has wheat in it? Are you sure?" or "I know it's safe, go ahead and eat it". Then when you finally get a definitive diagnosis you are supposed to be relieved, in between reading labels for ingredients you don't know about, finding out your favorite food will NEVER be allowed again, trying styrofoam bread, and explaining, explaining, explaining, explaining......

Given all of that, I think ANYONE who gets up every day and says "Ok. I can do this. I will do this. I will learn and adjust and GET ON WITH MY LIFE in its new incarnation" is a wonderous, lovely, resiliant, admirable and amazing person. Even if you don't feel like it every time you look in the mirror. Grieving is a process, depression is a deep well, but you sound like you are on a good road. Let your family love you, and grieve for what you had expected life to be like, and look forward, not back.

joanna

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Zoeysfat]

I feel very embraced by all of these posts. I agree with Faith, this is one of THE best threads I have read here, and believe me, I have been reading all most all of them. I have gone in just a few short days from feeling helpless to feeling I have a whole new lease on life. I thank all of you who have responded, I love GIJane for starting this post! It has really given me a new mind set. Sometimes you just need to see inside someone else to understand yourself. I am ready to regain my life and not just wonder why did this happen to me. Thanks all!

Denice

[FaithInScienceToo]

I am not the celiac at our house, let me say that first (my son and husband were dx a year apart).

....

Given all of that, I think ANYONE who gets up every day and says "Ok. I can do this. I will do this. I will learn and adjust and GET ON WITH MY LIFE in its new incarnation" is a wonderous, lovely, resiliant, admirable and amazing person. Even if you don't feel like it every time you look in the mirror. Grieving is a process, depression is a deep well, but you sound like you are on a good road. Let your family love you, and grieve for what you had expected life to be like, and look forward, not back.

joanna

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

THANK YOU, Joanna.

I hope that my boyfriend will feel this way about me, in time.

Your husband and son are SO lucky to have you.

Denice...

I am thrilled for you. Nothing more to say, really... just smiling after reading your last post.

Love, Gina

[cinda]

THANK YOU, Joanna.

I hope that my boyfriend will feel this way about me, in time.

Your husband and son are SO lucky to have you.

Denice...

I am thrilled for you. Nothing more to say, really... just smiling after reading your last post.

Love, Gina

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am so

[cinda]

THANK YOU, Joanna.

I hope that my boyfriend will feel this way about me, in time.

Your husband and son are SO lucky to have you.

Denice...

I am thrilled for you. Nothing more to say, really... just smiling after reading your last post.

Love, Gina

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i have been reading this thread and bawling through 90% of it...i was diagnosed 2 weeks ago yesterday and have been rollercoasting along since... i felt better last week than i had in years.... hit the bottom over the weekend... frustrated because i'm not sure what i ate or did to feel like i do... trying so hard to not snap at my kids and not be grumpy... and be positive... and yes honest with myself... sometimes it's hard to realize i have felt like i was losing my mind.... and now find out it is what i have been eating.... i have been sick and been to doctors and had tests for years.. almost 11 ... and so frustrated so many symptoms....and no answeres..... and now i have them.. i want you all to know you give me hope... your support for gijane and her honesty ... and all your honesty in return... all your positive feedback... this thread has been the best find on this awesome site... i'm so grateful i found it... and i feel like i have found some friends who truly understand my journey

cin

[bknutson]

Hi, I am new here and just learning, and this has just opened my eyes. I cant beleive it. I was recently diagnosed and I havent gotten alot of info due to work schedule and such I cant get to my dr. But I think of all the depression and anger and awfull things that have went on and that maybe it could be tied to this. I have been on antidepressants for years. Treated for acid rflux and irrital bowel and a bunch of stuff. But my mood and depression and tiredness and almost ruined my life many times. And this could all be related to celiac disease??? Help me out some more with this please.

thank you so much