My partner is great about gluten free food, but won't commit to gluten free cosmetics

[Steeb]

Hi all,

I'm wondering if some of you have experience with something like my situation. My partner is great about not bringing gluten foods into our house, she has mostly switched over her diet to accommodate my celiac needs, and she lets me know if she has gluten in her mouth so we can wait a while before kissing. All of that has been working well! However, she still uses glutinous cosmetic products with stuff like "hydrolyzed wheat protein" and it is a point of contention. I've asked her if she could ditch the glutinous products and offered to compensate her for gluten-free ones, but she seems to feel resentful of having to research every product she uses. She's told me how exhausted she feels having switched up her diet and moving into a totally gluten-free kitchen in the span of a year and a half. We also don't live in a place with any gluten-free dining options, so that limits our date nights. I'm very conscious of the fact that being my partner limits what she can do significantly, and in many ways she is taking on my disability to be with me. I guess I'm just wondering how to navigate this in a sensitive way since she has already done so much for me... Help? 

Thanks,
Steeb

P.S. Have any of you found trace gluten on hair or makeup to be an issue? I don't think her use of these things is making me "sick" per se, but I'm worried about long-term compounding damage.

[cyclinglady]

Stop worrying about makeup.  The only thing that should or might concern you is lipstick or lip balm.  Buy her Red Apple or Gabriel Lipstick which is certified gluten-free if that makes you feel better or just one without gluten.  And kiss her without asking her to wipe off her lipsticks (that can impact a romantic moment!)  No need to worry about anything else.  Just wash your hands before eating. 

Date nights?  You eat some dinner and then take her out to her favorite restaurant and just order a drink.  Better yet, watch a movie, go for a hike, play board games and serve gluten-free snacks, ride bikes, roller skate, and take a dance lesson together.  The list is endless!  

Back in the day and long before my diagnosis, I used to pack picnics.  At first guys balked, but after one picnic and they begged for more!  It was so romantic and my dates loved it.  Today, my husband and I still picnic.  For example, we will tour a museum and picnic on the lawns or tailgate in bad weather.   So much fun!  

And here is a parting tip.  She is working hard to keep you safe.  Wanna make her day?  Do some chores.  That costs nothing!  Let her know how much you love and appreciate her.   Go unload that dishwasher, shine her boots, or make that bed!  

[NNowak]

At a time when I was having multiple miscarriages, I spent countless hours researching cosmetics - I had already addressed everything else. Briefly, it didn’t make a difference. Celiacs can not possibly get enough gluten from cosmetics to illicit an autoimmune response. 
 

As celiacs we can easily get OCD about management of the condition. RELAX!!! If you aren’t managing food allergies (a completely different response) with the threat of anaphylactic shock, you can take your fear level of gluten to a tolerable level. Your partner has gone above and beyond to give you comfort with your challenge. 
 

I was diagnosed 25 years ago. My oldest child was diagnosed in 1999. I never had a gluten-free house and did not have any issues with cross contamination. Although I will say anything in the oven cooking that was not gluten-free has always been a problem. 
 

For date night, definitely take your lady to her favorite restaurant. Politely ask the server if the chef can grill a piece of meat and steam some veggies in a separate pan for you. Simply state you have an autoimmune condition that makes you ill if you consume gluten. If it’s a decent restaurant, the chef will know what you are talking about and have no problem with it. Otherwise, enjoy a cocktail and nice conversation while your lady happily enjoys her meal.  Personally, I haven’t had an issue making a simple, polite request for fish and veggies cooked separately.  You can also prepare a meal at home and surprise her, or do something active away from food. 
 

By the way, I use Bobbi Brown lip gloss. I have no idea if it’s gluten-free, but I’m allergic to just about everything else. 
 

Good luck. 

[cyclinglady]

I have to say that the Gluten Free Watchdog (aka the gluten-free Dietician) has said that gluten in lipstick is not a concern unless you are eating copious amounts of it and no woman has eaten pounds of lipstick.  You would go through tons of sticks each year!  

https://www.glutenfreedietitian.com/gluten-in-cosmetics-results-of-testing-on-lipsticks-and-lotions/

Sign up for the gluten-free Watchdog.  It is like a gluten-free Consumer Reports.  Want a Product tested?  Submit your request!  And I am not affiliated with her at all!  

[Steeb]

Thanks all! It helps to hear some perspective. I get really OCD about contamination; I've been living in group housing for the last few years with people who fluffed flour all over the place (always making me sick!) so I've been working on chilling out now that I'm in a safe environment. All the conflicting information out there about CC sure hasn't helped w/ my paranoia!

Anyway thanks again!