Boyfriend With Celiac(need Some Input)

[jnifred]

First off, it is sooooo easy to make gluten-free pizza. I have it several times a month. The Chebe mix is incredibly easy and then you throw some gluten-free past sauce on it with cheese and veggies and voila, a beautiful pizza in half hour and waaaaayyyyyy better than any old Pizza Hut pizza, AND I don't get sick afterwards!!! What is better than THAT?!?!!?

Second, my family eats mostly gluten-free now since I am NOT cooking 3 different meals. THey get Eggo's and/or bagels for breakfast that I can not have, but otherwise they eat what I do. I make myself sandwiches with a large leaf of Romaine lettuce, cream cheese, meat etc., rolled up if they get take out. I do not feel that they have to do without in that area. And I am not going to through a fit b/c hubby brings home Subway for lunch. I am healthier and feel better and even though the sub might smell good, just the thought of they rumbly tummy and bloated, gassy, naseous (sp?) feeling doesn't make me want it at all.

Maybe try to make him cookies and etc he CAN have and keep those available so he doesn't feel so left out when you are having things he can't have. I always have some treats on hand that I can eat.

[tiger]

He had already had this disease for about 3 years before i met him. So yes i

just jumped into the situation. I do want to go to Wild Oats and get some pasta

and something for pizza. I tried eliminating bread from diet when i was cutting

carbs, it wasnt easy but i did it.

It's also hard for my kids to understand, they keep forgetting he can't go out for

dinner.

But you can go out to dinner! P.F. Changs, Texas Roadhouse, Outback each have gluten free menus. Also, you will learn to ask for managers, don't rely on young inexperienced waiters/waitresses, and ask the managers (who should take you very seriously) what they can fix you that is gluten free. Of anyone doesn't take you seriously, leave and then call their corporate offices. You will need to do lots of research. It isn't easy. When my spouse was first diagnosed I cried. And then we pulled ourselves out of the pity pool and realized what a blessing to be diagnosed with something that has natural healing! It could be so much worse!!!!! We eat out all the time. Plain meat items, no breading, no gravy....vegetables with butter......potatoes.....Taco Bell corn items....we even have a Chinese restaurant that understands and lets us know what is gluten free!! Life is not over! A new adventure has just begun. Good luck to you and your boyfriend. And yes, I eat "bad" things in front of my spouse. It was weird at first, but we are both fine with it now.

[Guest j.r. clark]

"Just remember one thing, if you're gluten intolerant your kids are!! You share the same genetics."

Not necessarily true for two reasons. The first is that only half of the child's DNA is yours. The other half came from the other parent, making the chances closer to 50 percent.

The second is that the evidence shows that the genes are a prerequisite to developing celiac disease, but that a trigger of some sort is also needed to activate the autoimmune response. This is similar to type 1 diabetes, which has a genetic factor (not as well understood as celiac), and also requires a trigger. Infectious diseases commonly trigger both celiac and diabetes.

Hello, I am new to this, my husband has DH. After much research on the internet I have been talking the rest of his family into being tested for the disease. My sister in law, Tracey has tested positive and has two boys, 4 and 6 and they were just tested too. DOES ANYONE KNOW - if the kids tested negative now, could they still have Celiac that could show up later in life? How often do you need to be tested, or once you have been tested you know that you are free and clear?

thank you,

Jessica

[teankerbell]

I am not able to eat Gluten, but my DH is considerate and limits eating the Non-gluten-free stuff when I am around. Chocolate and cheese is probably the hardest for me to see. Oh and the smell of Pizza, that was hard when he put that in the oven. But I had to leave so I didn't have to suffer too much! To me, it really doesn't bother me much because I know I can't eat them anyway. So I don't dwell on it

I agree that as Celiac's, just because we can't have the Gluten stuff, doesn't mean that we need to force our loved ones to follow our diet or make them feel guilty for eating the stuff we can't have. They don't have the Gluten problem, we do and we have to be responsible for ourselves and deal with it.

At home, DH eats what ever I cook which is gluten-free, that way I am not cooking a million different things.

When we go out, DH is always concerned about what I am going to eat and looking for a place for me where it can be something other than salad. Pf Changs, Outback, Boston Market have all been accomodating.

It is a very hard adjustment for the patient and their loved ones, but it is give and take on both sides of the spectrum. All need to be considerate of each other.

Ok, I am off my soapbox now! :0)

[erin24]

I think it will depend on the situation. Some couples (or families) find it easier to go gluten free while others find it easier to do things in moderation. And yet others have "gluten free meals" and then separate "gluten filled meals" each night.

It sounds like your boyfriend, understandably, is having a tough time coping with this change of lifestyle. It is very overwhelming, but manageable.

This is going to sound generic, but you might just sit down and flat out ask him how he feels about it. You are entitled to your opinions too, so you should tell him how his response makes you feel.

My husband offered to go gluten free. I thought about it and felt that there was no sense in making us both deal 100% with this diet. We have bread, granola bars, frozen pizzas, etc in the house. On the other hand, when we cook dinner, we make it gluten free (or, provide alternatives---both wheat and corn tortillas). When he's out, he orders fried chicken and other things. However, if he is craving something, I encourage him to get it. I think about how sweet he is to me (like you said, so careful about cross contamination, so helpful about info, resources, etc) and I figure I should show him the same respect.

I really think it is an individualized decision.

There are lots of products to help "normalize" things. Have you tried Tinkyada brand gluten-free pastas? We eat them all the time in my house: spaghetti, elbows, lasagna, penne, etc. We serve them to others-you would never know the difference. Having "pasta" really helps us out a lot!

He is lucky to have someone as caring as you. Open communication is your best bet. That, and a whole lot of patience

Lemonade,

Thanks for the advice too b/c my husband was asking me if I was going to make the meals (all no gluten, 2 meals, etc) since I usually make all of the dinners. I think it is a fair trade for the cooked meals to be gluten free and the eat out, carry out, etc be the times when the non celiacs eat gluten with no shame. I'll let you know how this goes over with the husband and see if he thinks it is as fair as I do

[Guest j.r. clark]

Lemonade,

Thanks for the advice too b/c my husband was asking me if I was going to make the meals (all no gluten, 2 meals, etc) since I usually make all of the dinners. I think it is a fair trade for the cooked meals to be gluten free and the eat out, carry out, etc be the times when the non celiacs eat gluten with no shame. I'll let you know how this goes over with the husband and see if he thinks it is as fair as I do

It has been 4 months since my husband has been gluten free, and I thought i could still cook gluten for myslef in the house, but it is much easier to cook gluten free and splurge when we go out. Things like having to clean the toaster every time I toast regular bread wasn't worth it to me. Besiades, I know I am eating healthier now too. Keep us posted.

[tarnalberry]

I don't cook with gluten, period. If my husband is careful and uses his own stuff, he can cook with gluten, but he almost never cooks. To be nice, it means that I don't make things that he dislikes that are gluten-free. So we satisfy my dietary requirements and palate, and his palate. If we go out, and make the decision not to share (which we'll often do at PF Changs), he gets whatever he wants. My philosophy is "I'll control my kitchen, because it is predominantly *my* kitchen, but I'm not going to control anyone else."

[ryebaby0]

My husband feels bad when I don't eat gluten-y things, but as the years go by I just am less and less interested. He and my son do have one or two things we just don't eat in front of them --- donuts, and french bread --- but that's our choice, not theirs. We run a largely gluten-free house because I'm too lazy to run a complicated kitchen! Our idea of splurging is to have pasta, because it's rather labor intensive to make a gluten-free batch and a mainstream batch!

I think the key here is a compromise. The original poster's boyfriend might get to make a shortlist of things he can't bear to watch her eating, but she shouldn't have to give up everything. He shouldn't ask her to, or want her to....

[Guest Zmom]

My husband does not eat gluten at home any more. Last week his parents invited him to dinner for a gluten-fest. And another day when they were out(to help his brother move) his Dad stopped at Dunkin Donuts. I told him he should do it every week.

My husband has lost almost 20lb gluten-free and never complains. For my part I have learned not to be hostile at food adds or cooking shows. I buy him good snacks that are gluten-free but have other things I can't eat.