Apt. With Nutritionist Last Night

[RiceCake]

Anyway, on that other note: my Mom went to the doctor today to start her own testing for Celiac. As she was telling me about it, she goes 'then I asked the doctor if when I'm healed, I could have bread and all that stuff again, right?' The doctor said, NO, NEVER! (well surprise surprise!!! ) I said Mom, we've been talking about this everyday since I got diagnosed, you didn't believe ME??????? She said, well, I don't know what to believe these days. I thought, well, all of the research you've been telling me you were doing was a LIE!

It upsets me that she thinks she never believes me even though I have explained INSIDE AND OUT the complexity of Celiac. It's like, she acts like she wants to hear what I say, but she doesn't really listen. She's in her own little world and then she tells me, so when you're healed and you can eat EVERYTHING again, I always add (except gluten!).....and she says, 'uh huh' and keeps going.......

She also doesn't seem to believe that I have all of these other intolerances. She always says, 'that doesn't make sense to me,' everyone I talk to who knows someone who has it just can't have gluten. She then implies that I'm making it up or I'm crazy or something. Then I'll say, this is not just me, she says, oh, I know, I believe you......then a few days later, now why can't you have nuts? I don't get why you're intolerant to these, how do you know? That's not Celiac disease!

I have totally been there as well. My mother does the same thing. I have tried to explain some things for 2 years (such as why I don't eat dairy) and she still doesn't get it. I might complain about my general constipation, and she suggests as a remedy to drink a glass of milk, or eat a bowl of oatmeal, thinking they might cancel each other out. I have explained a million times that a glass of milk will do more harm than good. Since when is replacing C with D plus gas, bloating, sinus congestion, pains, etc a good thing? You would think after two years she would stop saying those things! Now, it just makes me mad because I know she is not listening to what I say. Regardless, she knows it makes me mad. Why would she keep saying these things unless she is trying to piss me off? She has even said not to worry about the gas - that it's other people's problem! Huh? And what about the discomfort?

[RiceCake]

Who knows why family members tend to be so insensitive. With most of you it seems to be your mother.

With me it is my children - at least two of them (both girls). It isn't that they don't believe me - they simply don't want to hear anything about it. If I am going for tests one of the girls just changes the subject without asking why, when or where. The other girl stays even further away from the situation - sees to it that she doesn't hear a word about it. My son calls often and is very supportive. My other daughter is here at home with me and a gem. She has some serious problems too - very similiar so she has no trouble dealing with all this.

I am not sure what it is with the girls. I think that one girl just doesn't like to face reality of any kind - her own or anyone else's. The other daughter is just into her own world and doesn't see or care much about of anything outside of it.

So sometimes it's mothers and sometimes it's daughters.

Tough either way. Claire

Hi Claire,

Sorry your daughters feel that way. I don't understand why people are like that either. Especially when it is with family. They are supposed to love you and care about you and when you need it the most, when you are sick and vulnerable they turn their back on you. Feel blessed to have your son and other daughter who can support you.

I had a similar experience with a best friend who saw everything that I was going through and instead of empathizing or supporting me, she decided it would be easier to just decide I was crazy and lazy. Her entertainment and fun were more important to her than my health. Needless to say, she is not a friend anymore. After some re-evaluation, I realized that it was a combination of her tendency to run from reality or difficulty of any sort and a general lack of concern for anybody else. Ignorance is bliss, right? I have lost a bit of sleep trying to understand what makes people think like this and have yet to figure it out. I wonder if this behaviour is more common in these self-indulgent times today, or if a lack of ethics or morals or religion contributes. Have people always been like this? Why do some run while others stay and support? Was I overly idealistic? Should we ever trust that family/friends will be there when we need them? How do we get through to these people how much they hurt us?

Does this happen with other diseases as well?