Can't Train On #2

[kirst4588]

My son Justin will be four at the end of July. He was diagnosed with Celiac when he was 1 1/2. He has been dry through the night since he was just two, and has no trouble holding, controlling urinating on the toilet. The issue we have is with bowel movements. I've had people tell me that training is harder with boys than with girls - and that may or may not be true - but my eldest son was completely trained just after turning two, so I know there are exceptions. I also know that he is the only child in his class of approx 20 kids, who is not trained. But again, the problem isn't "accidents" - I think it is ability. I don't think he is able to control it. He can hold it if we're in the car and he needs to pee-pee, but he doesn't seem to be able to control #2. It's become such an emotional issue too. I've tried everything - punishment - bribary - discussions - heck...I've even put a tv in the bathroom so he would be comfortable and could sit for a long while and not need to get up and run off. He has gone ONCE on the toilet, and that is because I caught him just about to start, and put him on before he could push. I just can't stare at him 23X7 and do that though. So I'm stuck.

And so now I'm truely wondering if it's medical - ie his celiac. Is training harder for celiac kids?

Any feedback would be much appreciated.

[katerinvon]

Could be he's just not ready yet. I have a friend of mine whose daughter, # 4 of six kids, was slow to train. No celiac disease in her family, but some of the kids are lactose intolerant. Anyway, she finally gave up diapers right around her fourth birthday. Her mother was begining to think she'd be in diapers forever!

Maybe it's time just to relax from potty training for a while. I stressed hard with my first one, and she had accidents until four or later. I was real relaxed with the second, and she trained easily right after her third birthday. Haven't even started with my third yet, age 2, my gluten intolerant one. I'm thinking about starting some gentle potty training with her this summer, when she has fewer clothes to deal with.

But definately the less stress, the better! Give him some controll of the situation. Let him know it's OK to procede at his pace. Talk to his caregivers at school. Surely the have delt with this before. Take some of the pressure off, and he may just surprise you.

Good Luck!

Karen S.

[kirst4588]

Karen,

I know you're right about taking the pressure off the poor little guy.

Thanks for your advice.

~Kirsten

[taweavmo3]

I have to agree.....I would just wait it out a bit. My daughter wasn't trained until she was about 3 1/2. Everyone in our family was giving me a hard time about it, like it was something "I" had done wrong. I think one of the problems with BM training was that it came on so quick, even after being gluten free for months, that she really had no control.

I just waited until she took the initiative and showed some interest. If it was a battle, I just let it go. Finally, out of the blue, she pretty much just went on the potty all by herself without even letting me know! I guess she was just ready, plain and simple.

I'm all for waiting it out, I figure we have enough battles to deal with. And in my experience, unless they are truly ready, no amount of training will work. I've heard of this new PT method that supposedly has babies trained from very early on...like before 12 months. This seems so crazy to me! First of all, who has the free time to do this? And second, I actually kind of like diapers for the first couple of years. Call me crazy, but diapers are way easier when you are out, rather than searching for a decent bathroom!

Good luck to you, I'm sure it will happen soon, and it will probably be when you least expect it. At least summer is almost here, and that is usually the easiest time to potty time.

[katerinvon]

My son Justin will be four at the end of July. He was diagnosed with Celiac when he was 1 1/2. He has been dry through the night since he was just two, and has no trouble holding, controlling urinating on the toilet. The issue we have is with bowel movements. I've had people tell me that training is harder with boys than with girls - and that may or may not be true - but my eldest son was completely trained just after turning two, so I know there are exceptions. I also know that he is the only child in his class of approx 20 kids, who is not trained. But again, the problem isn't "accidents" - I think it is ability. I don't think he is able to control it. He can hold it if we're in the car and he needs to pee-pee, but he doesn't seem to be able to control #2. It's become such an emotional issue too. I've tried everything - punishment - bribary - discussions - heck...I've even put a tv in the bathroom so he would be comfortable and could sit for a long while and not need to get up and run off. He has gone ONCE on the toilet, and that is because I caught him just about to start, and put him on before he could push. I just can't stare at him 23X7 and do that though. So I'm stuck.

And so now I'm truely wondering if it's medical - ie his celiac. Is training harder for celiac kids?

Any feedback would be much appreciated.

One thing I didn't ask last night. Does he have normal BM's or loose stools? That would make a big difference in his controll ability. If his diet is out of wack and he's having loose stools, get that under control first. Then low stress poty training should work.

Again, good luck!

Karen S.

[Guest nini]

my daughter wasn't dx with Celiac until she was 3 1/2 so I think that played a factor in her late potty training... (I hate that word!) anyway, she too learned #1 pretty easy, but it took a long time with #2, I think because it hurt her so much she was afraid of it.

I agree take the pressure off the little guy, let him proceed at his own pace, try to figure out WHY he is resistant, and when he acts ready, encourage him but don't punish if he doesn't get it... it takes time.

[jerseyangel]

My sons are 21 and 24, but they were very different when it came to all aspects of development. My younger son was a late walker (17 months) and didn't completely toilet train until about age 4. He had no physical problems. I feel very strongly in letting children develop in their own time frame. I put no pressure on him, and he was just fine. Once he deceided it was time, he walked, talked and went to the bathroom like a pro. I would relax and enjoy him--everything will work out the way it is meant to.

[TCA]

My son was also a late walker - 16 mos. Potty training was a mystical fairy tale I had heard about until a couple months into the diet. He was just 3 when we started the diet in January and he was potty trained 2 weeks ago!!!!!!! I did the happy happy joy joy dance!!!! There was no way we could expect him to go to the potty when he had D 6 + times a day. Once the D was under control, we started him in big boy underwear. He loves Nemo, so we got Nemo underwear and told him that Nemo would be upset if he went to the bathroom on him. He had a lot of "accidents" at first. One day he was asking for a birthday cake, so I told him we could make one, any color if he wanted if he would poop in the potty. This went on for about a week and finally he decided to go! As soon as he was finished we all had to gather around the toilet to view his accomplishment while he went "TA DA!". It was hilarious. We then proceeded to bake a birthday cake with yellow icing and a big smiley face on top. He's gone ever since. I guess he just decided it was time. He's only had one accident after an accidental glutening, but he was trying to get to the bathroom then.

Hang in there! I was starting to think I was going to have to send mine to kindergarden in diapers, but he finally came through.

[Nic]

My celiac son potty trained early, 2 and a half. But once his symptoms got bad, he started having trouble with bowel movements. Either he couldn't go at all, or he would be so loaded with stool softeners that he would be having accidents. Now that his symptoms are under control, he still has the constipation trouble and my ped gi and my regular ped suggested what they called toilet training. They said that I should pick a time, preferably after breakfast if possible for him to sit on the toilet for 10 minutes. They said not to let his feet dangle, put a stool under them. Sometimes we sit an read a book. But if he really fights it, I don't force the issue. Anyway, they said this should help his body learn to relax and go around a certain time each day rather than running back and forth to the bathroom throughout the day. I know this is a different problem than yours but thought it might be helpful.

Nicole

[kirst4588]

It really varies - it used to be for the longest time, he never had a solid one - so I didn't even try pushing him on the potty (but then, we were eating McDonalds regularly) - he's had no loose stools since we found out about the fries, and stopped eating them. Now he has even been a bit consipated - but I really think he was holding it.

I think waitin it out and saying a little prayer is all I will be able to do.

thanks

One thing I didn't ask last night. Does he have normal BM's or loose stools? That would make a big difference in his controll ability. If his diet is out of wack and he's having loose stools, get that under control first. Then low stress poty training should work.

Again, good luck!

Karen S.

[hilaryw]

My daughter was 4 and 1/2 and it was like a four month long process!! First we had to get her to sit on the potty and go in a pull up on the potty. Then, gradually, cut away at pull up, with bribes all the way, then, she was going through a whole in the pull up which by this time was like a skirt. Then, it happened. For us it was definitely related to constipation which I think is related to her celiac. Good luck!!