Just Need To Vent

[shan1523]

Hello all,

I know I dont post alot, just here and there, but I do read and learn from you all a lot...

I just need to vent though to people who have been there/understand

My in-law side of the family is having a huge anniversary bash at an Italian Restaurant (Buca) and well we have a 2 year old who is celiac...so we have told everyone that he is not going and will join up with everyone at the house later...but instead of that being ok, we get bombarded with....cant you find something for him to eat, You could just bring something from home, and oh it wont be that bad...

UGH! first of all any 2 year old sitting still in a restaurant is a feat in itself, and him not touching any food, or anyone touching him with food on their hands will not be easy....and hello...I dont want to bring my own food, I have to do that for every other family gathering...so we will skip the meal and come later...

nobody gets it...they just think we over-react, and think that having some diarhea later is no big deal...well if thats all it was MAYBE...but hello it damages his body..and he is in pain whenver he eats anything....they saw him grab one goldfish cracker at a cook-out and he was a wreck for 5 days....

My family gets it a bit more since there is crohn/colitis, and dairy issues (and probably celiac) all over my side of the family...but his side has no idea of it, and my sis-in-law is a nurse on a GI floor at Mayo....

UGH (meanwhile her son has tons of RED FLAG symptoms of a dairy allergy, but doesnt see it..but thats another story)

meanwhile I have a 11 week old with severe reflux (on prevacid and nutramigen) so I fear we are headed down the same path

SO i finally emailed my MIL with some articles (again) and stressing how we dont enjoy this part of our lives, but it is part of our lives, and while some may find it annoying, its not there issue, and they should want to see there grandkid healthy..blah blah blah...now Im bracing myself for the response.

I just wish this disease was more know about so people dont think its some nothing thing

thanks for letting my vent

Shannon

ds Noah 6/28/04...celiac, soy free, outgrew dairy intolerance

dd Audrey 7/13/06..severe reflux, suspect MSPI, on prevacid and nutramigen..here we go...

[Eeyorific]

Shannon,

Feel free to vent any time, that's what we're here for.

I'm sorry the in-laws just don't get it. It really does make things harder than they need to be, doesn't it? How about hubby? Is he supportive and understanding of the disease? It's been 2 years since my sons dx. My dh has come a long way.. but only when it comes to the kids. (my dd and I went gluten-free last Nov) and he while he says he's supporitive, if I state I'm craving gluten, he'll have keys in hand and ready to go get it. I guess he and I have seperate ideas of being supportive. lol

At any rate, I hope that this time the letter and reading material get "through".

Kristie

[KaitiUSA]

We are all here to help you get through it all and support you so venting is fine

[shan1523]

Thanks for letting me vent

Oh and Dh is very supportive and gets just as mad/annoyed as I do, but is more of a "quiet type" so he supports us wholeheartedly, but doesnt really explain alot of stuff to the rest of the family. DH was a little skeptical at first (when ds was 5 months and we were realizing something was wrong) but ever since hes been about a year old and DH has seen what happens with an accidental glutening he is fully behind the diet and whatever else needs to be done.

which of course is nice, I just wish he would talk to his family more about it.

thanks again

Shannon

ds Noah celiac 2 yrs old

dd Audrey reflux/GERD 11 weeks old

[CarlaB]

Thanks for feeling like you can vent to us!!!

I have found with my own family (not just with celiac problems, but with anything), that just telling them you will be there later and not explaining why is the best route. If you explain, they try to "fix" the problem by coming up with suggestions. If you just say, "We can't make it for the dinner, but we're really excited to see everyone and will come as soon as we can." Then there's nothing to solve. It's taken me years to get to this point, but I've finally figured it out. No matter how they pry, you don't give an explanation, it's just, "we can't."

[shan1523]

Good tip

I may have to use that one in the future....families can be so irritating...

thanks again

Shannon

[spunky]

It's frustrating, for sure! Just in case you decide to give in and go to the Italian restaurant...there are Italian Restuarants in our area that will cook your own pasta for you (you have to bring the bag of pasta, specify that it needs to be cooked in a clean pot, and make sure they can deal with the sauce...ours will do dairy-free, gluten-free sauce. Then you can have a hot pasta dish...don't know if your little one would like it or not, but there are some Italian restuarants in our area who do this...they still charge full price for the meal, though.

[CarlaB]

It's frustrating, for sure! Just in case you decide to give in and go to the Italian restaurant...there are Italian Restuarants in our area that will cook your own pasta for you (you have to bring the bag of pasta, specify that it needs to be cooked in a clean pot, and make sure they can deal with the sauce...ours will do dairy-free, gluten-free sauce. Then you can have a hot pasta dish...don't know if your little one would like it or not, but there are some Italian restuarants in our area who do this...they still charge full price for the meal, though.

Honestly, I've heard here on the board that Buca is acommodating. But, like you said, it only takes a toddler a second to grab a piece of garlic bread.