Just Need To Vent

[Firegirl43]

Ok I understand that my family and my soon to be mother inlaw are jsut being nice, BUT crap ok I am getting singled out on everything! Diffrent meals are getting made just for me when we go over to his parents house for dinner, my brothers fieiance( I cant spell sorry) Is getting a just me gluten free food for her wedding . I just wish people would quit makeingsuch a big deal out of it. yes i do apresiate it but oh I dont know maybe I am just in a mood

[CarlaB]

Ok I understand that my family and my soon to be mother inlaw are jsut being nice, BUT crap ok I am getting singled out on everything! Diffrent meals are getting made just for me when we go over to his parents house for dinner, my brothers fieiance( I cant spell sorry) Is getting a just me gluten free food for her wedding . I just wish people would quit makeingsuch a big deal out of it. yes i do apresiate it but oh I dont know maybe I am just in a mood

I know it's awkward, but just graciously accept their hospitality. It's a lot better than the alternative which would be letting you go hungry.

Maybe you can have them over for dinner, cook a bunch of naturally gluten-free stuff, then when they see you don't need anything special if all the food is gluten-free, maybe they'll start doing that themselves. But for the wedding, I think they're doing the right thing ... you wouldn't want them to change the whole wedding menu just for you!!

[tarnalberry]

Would you prefer they totally ignored it?

Would you prefer they had you bring your own food?

Would you prefer that you just not eat at all in group functions?

Or are you really wishing you didn't have this and hence would be singled out in group settings? Which I think we all feel from time to time.

If it's one of the first three (and I can *totally* understand all but the first), then tell them! They can't read your mind, and might be wondering what the best solution is, and maybe this is all they've hit on. I've sometimes had people assume that I should just bring things (or should cook something that matched whatever they were serving), or had people assume that they could cook for me (when there was no way I would trust their cooking). Every situation is different, and sometimes it takes time to figure out what'll work best for you - and sometimes that'll change. (Sometimes, I'm too stressed, and don't want to deal with packing up food to take some where, nor the risk of contamination, so I'll eat ahead of time. Sometimes, I don't want to do that, because I'm stubborn, so I'll bring random stuff- including peanut butter and rice cakes!- with me.)

[brizzo]

Don't feel bad.... I am a firefighter. We make our own meals (as a group) at the station. I get harassed daily (in a loving manner of course) about my "dietary needs." And trust me....firefighters are notorious for giving each other a "hard time" about personal differences. Be thankfull you are LOVED enough for your family to care. Let's face it....look how much time YOU invested in trying to figure out this diet. Imagine how tough it is for a non-celiac to fix dinner for someone that is gluten-free. They love you enough to care not to poison you. You should be elated. =)

[kbtoyssni]

I feel like you're feeling this way without knowing why. If you know why, it might help you deal with it.

-Would you rather that your in-laws make one meal that just happens to be gluten-free?

-Would you rather bring your own meal? Maybe because you're scared of cross-contamination or because you feel guilty that they're going to all that extra effort for you?

-Do you feel guilty that they make you special food and you don't eat it all?

If you can figure out why this is frustrating you so much, you will probably be able to talk to them about how you feel and maybe change the situation to what would be best for you. But to do that, you have to know what you want.

[sagemoon]

My Mom made dinner for me last week and hid the empty can for the gravy and the Swanson's chicken broth at the bottom of the garbage so that I wouldn't know.... I, of course, did some garbage diving and wound up eating a yam. You are very lucky to have a family that is trying hard to help you. Just take a breath and know that they will ease off once they figure out that going gluten-free isn't as hard as first thought. It is easier to start from this point of extreme than the other Have fun at the wedding. Champagne is gluten-free!!!

[Saz]

Is there any sort of discussion as to what the meal will be beforehand? I was thinking that if you did all discuss what the meal would be, you could suggest a meal that you can eat, but won't require any special ingredients. For example a for a side something like a potato bake, can be easy to do gluten-free, just dont put any crumbs on the top. An example of a main would be a quiche(provided ur not allergic eggs of course) without the crust.

I'm not sure if this was the kind of advice you were after but thought I'd post it anyway.