Ever Been Glutened By Someone Who Was Trying To Prove You Would Not Be?

[NoGluGirl]

Dear gfp,

I completely agree with you. People can walk around and tell you that you are just obsessive about gluten. They say you are a lunatic. They are not the ones who have to deal with the consequences. It would be nice if people were not self-centered, but that is expecting too much.

As for MDs, do not get me started on those fools in lab coats. They seem to know nothing. Celiac is especially a topic they appear to ignore. Codex makes no sense. I believe the only safe amount of gluten is 0 ppm! A trace of the stuff is deadly for us.

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

[sfm]

I've made this suggestion before but it bears repeating. Actually it's following gfp's comments: Do make it clear to people whenever you feel ill from a glutening. DON'T try to hide it, especially from family. If you do, they won't have any way of knowing how sick you get. jerk and moan, "forget" to flush the toilet, spread your lovely smells all over the house...after a while people will get the idea....

Remember to advertise the fact that you feel sooo much better on the diet.

I actually had a talk with my boyfriend about how sick I used to be. He has been nothing but supportive of my diet, with the understanding that I am feeling so much better. But when I told him that when we first began dating (pre-gluten free), I used to not eat on the days when I was going to see him, because it meant I would be less sick when we went out, I think it made him realize that I wasn't exaggerating how sick I used to be, all the time.

My friends and family have been supportive; I can't imagine someone "testing" my diet. My children even tell me how awful their pizza tastes, and how much better my food looks; it's their adorable, childlike way of being supportive.

Mostly I just keep an eye on the cooking. Sometimes even well-meaning people don't understand the dangers of cross-contamination. I have become so conscious of never, ever placing food on the countertop - just in case something else has touched it. And preparing my food far away from my children's sandwiches, etc. And occasionally I still get sick, when I know I haven't eaten anything with obvious gluten in it. I guess sometimes I'm not careful enough.

[Kyalesyin]

Someone did that to me, I'd have them out the door on their rear, married or not. I'm not celiac, my wife is, and I guess she's lucky that it was me that did the research and me that bullied her into eating properly and cutting out the gluten, so we don't have to do this. I'm glad that we live far enough away from our families that its been nearly a year since they've cooked for us, so they've had time to let it settle into their heads that you can't kill gluten by cooking it well, that its not a faddy weight loss diet, and that 'just once slice of bread' will actually put her in the hospital. [My wife gets a delerium inducing fever when she gets glutened.]

Deliberately poisoning someone like that... to me it feels like a rape. I've had it before- a close friend of mine made a coffee cake and brought it into work. He didn't tell me it was coffee until I was halfway through it. I couldn't taste it because between the cinnamon, mandarins, cream and peanuts the coffee wasn't all that strong. The migrane cost me four days wages and set our entire production team back a week, and I nearly nailed some very sensitive parts of his anatomy to his workbench when I finally got back into work. I'm glad I didn't have a partner or children to care for at that point.

[NoGluGirl]

Dear Kyalesyin,

I definitely think the rape analogy fits with Celiac. I unfortunately came dangerously close to rape as well. Several years ago, a guy I was friends with for three years tried it on my front porch!

I was lucky to get away, but the fear still is fresh. The anger still is fresh. He is truthfully the only person I could kill and not feel guilty about it. Even worse, I could not afford to take legal action, and he even talked about wanting to perform sexual acts with the 12-year old across the street from his house!

Celiac is a lot like rape. It is difficult to speak of, because you end up blamed for it. You live in fear because of it. You are angry because of it. People do not understand. They have no business commenting on something they know absolutely nothing about.

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl

[super-sally888]

My friends always offer me some of their food - even though I cannot eat it. Even worse when we go away for a weekend (I have a p/t job arranging triathlons) and there is nothing I can eat (some of these places are remote) and I end up eating peanuts (literally) for the whole weekend (like last weekend) .... They know, but they still don't quite get it... then when I am running for the toilet or in pain, they think it's funny and make jokes ... I'm notorious in our group for my toilet escapades because I refused to let it run my life ...(though they all have noticed I am so much better gluten free) ...

I love these guys and they are really not malicious, but geez, gotta keep my cool and sense of humor..

and self discipline not to eat when I am starving and there's nothing but some candy...

Good thing I'm ok with corn and we have found some wicked good corn chips, a bag of which we pull out for

every occassion...

My husband asks me on a regular basis if I want a bite of his pizza. He thinks it is a joke. I think it is one of the most hurtful things. We have had more arguments over this than you can imagine. He has seen me very sick from gluten. He knows it is not a joking matter. But he is just inconsiderate at times. However, he has never made me sick on purpose and he has been a huge help when I had to be in the hospital by brining me food, etc.

[gfp]

Someone did that to me, I'd have them out the door on their rear, married or not. I'm not celiac, my wife is, and I guess she's lucky that it was me that did the research and me that bullied her into eating properly and cutting out the gluten, so we don't have to do this. I'm glad that we live far enough away from our families that its been nearly a year since they've cooked for us, so they've had time to let it settle into their heads that you can't kill gluten by cooking it well, that its not a faddy weight loss diet, and that 'just once slice of bread' will actually put her in the hospital. [My wife gets a delerium inducing fever when she gets glutened.]

Deliberately poisoning someone like that... to me it feels like a rape. I've had it before- a close friend of mine made a coffee cake and brought it into work. He didn't tell me it was coffee until I was halfway through it. I couldn't taste it because between the cinnamon, mandarins, cream and peanuts the coffee wasn't all that strong. The migrane cost me four days wages and set our entire production team back a week, and I nearly nailed some very sensitive parts of his anatomy to his workbench when I finally got back into work. I'm glad I didn't have a partner or children to care for at that point.

This really illustrates what I'm trying to say, even though you missed it....

Because your wife was so sick and because you care for her so much you bullied and corerced her into the diet.

In the end getting her to do something she didn't want to do....because you wanted her to be better...

In the end you managed t convince her to try the diet...

What I'm trying to point out is if angel42's husband really truly believed she couldn't get ill from a shared strainer and that she was making her life difficult out of self-delusion then he was trying to help.....

Unfortunately there are hundreds of MD's who think the same thing....

Its not really possible for us to judge exactly what he tought..only he knows that.

It really hinges on if he was testing (experimenting) or trying to prove a point so she could be "free" of what he considered self delusional and self destructive behavior.

Either way its wrong..... but they are two different things IMHO.

To quote Kyalesyin

I'd have them out the door on their rear, married or not.

Yep if someone decided to experiment just to see or for their own amusement....

but if they really beleived it couldn't do me any harm and might help me realise I was being obsessive that's different... Biy..I'd be upset... boy we'd have some rows and they would have some explaining to do...

There are 101 little factors and components to this... like WHY and they are all interconnected, for instance the price of gluten-free food might have played a part? the need for new cooking stuff...

It could have been spur of the moment when he got to draining the pasta and he thought ah-to hell a shared strainer can't hurt or it could have been planned... and he could even have been half way though draining using the wrong collander when he realised. then thought Oh heck... what's it matter the doctor says it can't possibly hurt her and she's just making life diffucult for herself... I'll let her just have it and then I can prove to her she was being delusional.....

So many people here seem so ready to condemn at the worst possible level....

Just because the guy is guilty of one level doesn't automatically mean he's guilty of the worse possible scenario....

The guy is guilty of being misinfomed, certainly just like 90% of the medical profession.... however that doesn't mean he set out to deliberatly poision his wife!

Some while ago we had someone who's hubby went to the wrong McDo.... for the fries... because it was "on his way" ... and someone got sick? The person was taking a risk anyway, the husband just forgot to inform he had gone to the other McDo's...

How many mothers and fathers of gluten-free kids or husbands/wives have ANY gluten in thier kitchen at all?

Its really not THAT different... sooner or later if someone is making sandwiches or cooking pasta or ... using the same cloth by accident the person will get glutened...

BUT its not really an accident..its a calculated risk.... actually many people just don't want to address that risk so they pretend and self delude its safe.

So please if you are sharing a gluten kitchen willingly - as a convenience someone is poisioning someone.

If you want to talk about rape... well what about a husband who loves his sandwiches for work and insists on making them on "real" bread, the mother of the celiac child who still shares a kitchen... or buys pre-packaged food?

What of the doctor who convinces a patient with positive blood tests to continue eating gluten to get a biopsy which will confirm?

[sfm]

This really illustrates what I'm trying to say, even though you missed it....

Because your wife was so sick and because you care for her so much you bullied and corerced her into the diet.

In the end getting her to do something she didn't want to do....because you wanted her to be better...

In the end you managed t convince her to try the diet...

What I'm trying to point out is if angel42's husband really truly believed she couldn't get ill from a shared strainer and that she was making her life difficult out of self-delusion then he was trying to help.....

Unfortunately there are hundreds of MD's who think the same thing....

Its not really possible for us to judge exactly what he tought..only he knows that.

It really hinges on if he was testing (experimenting) or trying to prove a point so she could be "free" of what he considered self delusional and self destructive behavior.

Either way its wrong..... but they are two different things IMHO.

To quote Kyalesyin

Yep if someone decided to experiment just to see or for their own amusement....

but if they really beleived it couldn't do me any harm and might help me realise I was being obsessive that's different... Biy..I'd be upset... boy we'd have some rows and they would have some explaining to do...

There are 101 little factors and components to this... like WHY and they are all interconnected, for instance the price of gluten-free food might have played a part? the need for new cooking stuff...

It could have been spur of the moment when he got to draining the pasta and he thought ah-to hell a shared strainer can't hurt or it could have been planned... and he could even have been half way though draining using the wrong collander when he realised. then thought Oh heck... what's it matter the doctor says it can't possibly hurt her and she's just making life diffucult for herself... I'll let her just have it and then I can prove to her she was being delusional.....

So many people here seem so ready to condemn at the worst possible level....

Just because the guy is guilty of one level doesn't automatically mean he's guilty of the worse possible scenario....

The guy is guilty of being misinfomed, certainly just like 90% of the medical profession.... however that doesn't mean he set out to deliberatly poision his wife!

Some while ago we had someone who's hubby went to the wrong McDo.... for the fries... because it was "on his way" ... and someone got sick? The person was taking a risk anyway, the husband just forgot to inform he had gone to the other McDo's...

How many mothers and fathers of gluten-free kids or husbands/wives have ANY gluten in thier kitchen at all?

Its really not THAT different... sooner or later if someone is making sandwiches or cooking pasta or ... using the same cloth by accident the person will get glutened...

BUT its not really an accident..its a calculated risk.... actually many people just don't want to address that risk so they pretend and self delude its safe.

So please if you are sharing a gluten kitchen willingly - as a convenience someone is poisioning someone.

If you want to talk about rape... well what about a husband who loves his sandwiches for work and insists on making them on "real" bread, the mother of the celiac child who still shares a kitchen... or buys pre-packaged food?

What of the doctor who convinces a patient with positive blood tests to continue eating gluten to get a biopsy which will confirm?

You make some valid points.. I always think of eating as a risk unless I oversee every single detail - and even so, I sometimes contaminate myself. I am starting to realize how much more my kitchen needs to be separated in order for me not to get sick at all.

[NoGluGirl]

This really illustrates what I'm trying to say, even though you missed it....

Because your wife was so sick and because you care for her so much you bullied and corerced her into the diet.

In the end getting her to do something she didn't want to do....because you wanted her to be better...

In the end you managed t convince her to try the diet...

What I'm trying to point out is if angel42's husband really truly believed she couldn't get ill from a shared strainer and that she was making her life difficult out of self-delusion then he was trying to help.....

Unfortunately there are hundreds of MD's who think the same thing....

Its not really possible for us to judge exactly what he tought..only he knows that.

It really hinges on if he was testing (experimenting) or trying to prove a point so she could be "free" of what he considered self delusional and self destructive behavior.

Either way its wrong..... but they are two different things IMHO.

To quote Kyalesyin

Yep if someone decided to experiment just to see or for their own amusement....

but if they really beleived it couldn't do me any harm and might help me realise I was being obsessive that's different... Biy..I'd be upset... boy we'd have some rows and they would have some explaining to do...

There are 101 little factors and components to this... like WHY and they are all interconnected, for instance the price of gluten-free food might have played a part? the need for new cooking stuff...

It could have been spur of the moment when he got to draining the pasta and he thought ah-to hell a shared strainer can't hurt or it could have been planned... and he could even have been half way though draining using the wrong collander when he realised. then thought Oh heck... what's it matter the doctor says it can't possibly hurt her and she's just making life diffucult for herself... I'll let her just have it and then I can prove to her she was being delusional.....

So many people here seem so ready to condemn at the worst possible level....

Just because the guy is guilty of one level doesn't automatically mean he's guilty of the worse possible scenario....

The guy is guilty of being misinfomed, certainly just like 90% of the medical profession.... however that doesn't mean he set out to deliberatly poision his wife!

Some while ago we had someone who's hubby went to the wrong McDo.... for the fries... because it was "on his way" ... and someone got sick? The person was taking a risk anyway, the husband just forgot to inform he had gone to the other McDo's...

How many mothers and fathers of gluten-free kids or husbands/wives have ANY gluten in thier kitchen at all?

Its really not THAT different... sooner or later if someone is making sandwiches or cooking pasta or ... using the same cloth by accident the person will get glutened...

BUT its not really an accident..its a calculated risk.... actually many people just don't want to address that risk so they pretend and self delude its safe.

So please if you are sharing a gluten kitchen willingly - as a convenience someone is poisioning someone.

If you want to talk about rape... well what about a husband who loves his sandwiches for work and insists on making them on "real" bread, the mother of the celiac child who still shares a kitchen... or buys pre-packaged food?

What of the doctor who convinces a patient with positive blood tests to continue eating gluten to get a biopsy which will confirm?

Dear gfp,

This is exactly how I feel! You described my every thought! Especially about stupid doctors and selfish parents or roomates. Sharing a kitchen with someone who has this disease and not being gluten free is a calculated risk, as you said. It is like knowing someone having TB and going out in public knowing they could kill others. This should never happen!

Sincerely,

NoGluGirl