Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Friends Who Don't Get It.

lizzydotcom.

Recommended Posts

lizzydotcom. Newbie
lizzydotcom.
Posted

I have tonssss of friends who will sit there, and eat gluten RIGHT in front of me....it pisses me off big time...and what i want more than anything, is to eat a piece of bread.

but i know i can't. :(

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


heathen Apprentice
heathen
Posted

Being the only gluten-free person I know, I have had felt the frustration of watching someone else tear into a pizza or birthday cake, etc., but it's part of our life. The way I got over it was verbally telling my friends and family to enjoy the food they can eat, even if they have to eat it in front of me. Think about it--do you want everyone else to have to change their eating habits just because you are with them? Do you really want your friends to have to eat like we do? I don't know how long you've been diagnosed, but the anger passes eventually, I promise. But if you gripe about what you aren't allowed to eat, your friends may avoid eating with you and think that all people with food intolerances are going to be that demanding, as well. As long as your health isn't endangered, I would try to ease up on your friends. Hope things get better soon. Sorry I don't have a better solution.

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

Them eating food themselves that they like doesn't mean they don't get it. Trying to make you eat food you can't have would be them not getting it. But it doesn't make sense for absolutely everyone to eat the smallest set of what everyone can have. That'd be like me not eating chocolate because my husband hates it and the smell of it.

super-sally888 Contributor
super-sally888
Posted

I reckon the friend thing is just something to get used to.

Like not being able to eat when all your friends are (my good friends are still in the process of learning what I can eat.... so last night after our team training, Janet whose house we meet at, proudly presented fried chicken - but it had been coated in flour) - so I just had soup and rice. No biggie and I don't make a deal out of it 'cause I don't want them to feel bad. (they will feel bad enough if I am running for their toilet! P:)) Then she asked what my choices were and is going to cook next week bearing in mind what I can eat.

It is really a learning process for all of us. The thing I miss most is beer. But I have provided a bottle of gin/wine at my friend's place so that I can have my drink there too when they are drinking.

But sure is better than having to run for the loo.

For the close friends, they know what you have been through and will work with you...

For the others... so what... doesn't matter. I will do what I need to be well...

Be strong. This is about you / us. Not about those who are fortunate enough not to have to deal with this.

mn farm gal Apprentice
mn farm gal
Posted

It is toughest at first. After the first year it goes better, at least that is what I have found. It bothers me the most at holidays and the family knows how I have to eat but nobody makes an effort to bring gluten free food but me. They all like what I bring and I share it! My friends have been very understanding because they seen me before gluten free and it is much better this way. Good luck.

tiredofdoctors Enthusiast
tiredofdoctors
Posted

I'm not a teenager -- I'm a mom -- 45 yrs. old. I am also celiac. I just wanted you to know that it's not just young people who are like that. People my age and older are just as bad. Even family members took FOREVER to realize that I wasn't going to eat at their houses unless I had gluten-free food to eat. I offered to bring my own, and they would get offended.

I think you finally get to a point that you get so USED to people being idiots, that it doesn't bother you much. I would like to say that the friends / family all get better about it, but sometimes they just don't. I think we just get more used to it.

Take care of you -- and sorry to jump in here -- I know it's for teens.

Liz92 Rookie
Liz92
Posted

Its hard. But nyou can not expect your friends tosuffer through no gluten, because you don't like th scene. Though I normally have noproblem... i have a confession. :unsure: In french class we were eating realrealrealereal french food, which issensational, and i cheated. bad me, i know.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


nusr33n Newbie
nusr33n
Posted

yea trust me i know how that feels...i have alot of friends even family that does the same thing...but you gotta think that you'll feel soo much better if you didn't

PattiD2 Rookie
PattiD2
Posted

I know exactly what u mean. I'm going three months without gluten to see if I have Celiac disease. A week after I started this, there I went to a parade/festival thing. They sell the best cheese curds there, but I couldn't have them because they had a flour coating. I had explained to all of my friends about Celiac disease, and how I couldn't eat gluten. One of my friends was really understanding, and would only eat what I could eat. Then, my other friend (I'll call her Suzie) came along and started offering me all of this food with wheat in it. I told her I couldn't have it and was just like, oh she must of forgotten. Later, that "Suzie" convinced my other friend (the one who would only eat what I could eat) to buy the cheese curds. I was like "ok, that's fine, she can only get it this once", but then "Suzie" started to go on and on talking about the cheese curds. I told her that I couldn't have them so it would be nice if she would stop, but then five minutes later she started talking about it again. Ughh! I was so mad at her.

This friend hasn't been especially good about celiac disease so I am just starting to hang around with other friends and avoid her, especially around food.

Edit: sorry I'm on my mom's log in. I should be logged in as lollipop.

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
I'm not a teenager -- I'm a mom -- 45 yrs. old. I am also celiac. I just wanted you to know that it's not just young people who are like that. People my age and older are just as bad. Even family members took FOREVER to realize that I wasn't going to eat at their houses unless I had gluten-free food to eat. I offered to bring my own, and they would get offended.

I think you finally get to a point that you get so USED to people being idiots, that it doesn't bother you much. I would like to say that the friends / family all get better about it, but sometimes they just don't. I think we just get more used to it.

Take care of you -- and sorry to jump in here -- I know it's for teens.

I'm elderly too :P It takes soome getting used to and tiredofdoctors is right- older adults aren't much better. :(

I have a friend who's a doctor who always passes me the bread basket and then looks at me strange when I say "Uhm, I can't eat this". I SWEAR to GOD she doesn't believe me. You know what? I've realized it's her problem, not mine!

It's very frustrating but when you start eating gluten free stuff in front of them that looks and tastes better than their stuff (try namaste brownie mix!) than they will be jealous of you. :P

  • 3 weeks later...
chloeb Newbie
chloeb
Posted
I have tonssss of friends who will sit there, and eat gluten RIGHT in front of me....it pisses me off big time...and what i want more than anything, is to eat a piece of bread.

but i know i can't. :(

i dont get mad when people eat it in front of me but i do wish i could have it too. :(

Teku Apprentice
Teku
Posted

i dont really care that much anymore

but that used to piss me off to but now i piss them off by pulling off tricks that they cant dream of doing

  • 3 weeks later...
Eriella Explorer
Eriella
Posted

I know how annoying it can be, but you will find some AMAZING people out there who will make it worth all of the jerks. This week my boyfriend's parents changed over all of their gluten free staples like soy sauce and chicken broth to gluten free brands and cooked 3 dinners that I could eat! Yesterday I was invited to a dinner party with my bf's friends and sure enough everything was gluten free. At lunch my friends gave me extra soy pasta that they bought and thought i would enjoy. And then, today, the people in my building crafted a way so that I could play beer pong with them (using hard cider, making sure all of the balls were rinsed in between turns).

Naturally these people didn't become like this overnight. However, they saw me when I was sick, they know that I don't cheat, and explained to them exactly what I could and couldn't eat (you should have seen their face the first time I grabbed a 'normal' taco shell and ate the same meal that they did! ;) ) Once they realized that I was serious about this, most people are great. There are still people that don't get it, but most do, and a few will even be great about it.

Good luck!

Hanna GF LF cheerleader Rookie
Hanna GF LF cheerleader
Posted

I bring something that is like ten times better thats gluten free and then tease them right back... Like this cake I found my friends like better than normal cake and then they feel my pain. My friends do the same thing though I think everyone does. My family especially my birthday present from my cousin was a big fluffy loaf of white bread and my uncle drew a picture of "my birthday nightmare" it was a big cake that was like eating me...

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):



    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):



  • Recent Activity

    1. Scott Adams
      0

      New Research Reveals Why the Gut May Stay Sensitive Even After a Gluten-Free Diet

    2. cristiana
      - cristiana replied to Scatterbrain's topic in Sports and Fitness
      5

      Feel like I’m starting over

      Hi @Scatterbrain Thank you for your reply. Some of these things could be weaknesses, also triggered by stress, which perhaps have come about as the result of long-term deficiencies which can take a long time to correct. Some could be completely unrelated. If it is of help, I'll tell you some of the things that started in the first year or two...
    3. knitty kitty
      - knitty kitty replied to Jmartes71's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      8

      My only proof

      @NanceK, I do have Hypersensitivity Type Four reaction to Sulfa drugs, a sulfa allergy. Benfotiamine and other forms of Thiamine do not bother me at all. There's sulfur in all kinds of Thiamine, yet our bodies must have it as an essential nutrient to make life sustaining enzymes. The sulfur in thiamine is in a ring which does not trigger sulfa allergy...
    4. Wheatwacked
      - Wheatwacked replied to Jmartes71's topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      8

      Related issues

      Your goal is not to be a good puppet, there is no gain in that. You might want to restart the ones that helped. It sounds more like you are suffering from malnutrition. Gluten free foods are not fortified with things like Thiamine (B1), vitamin D, Iodine, B1,2,3,5,6 and 12 as non-gluten free products are required to be. There is a Catch-22 here. Malnutrition...
    5. NanceK
      - NanceK replied to Jmartes71's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      8

      My only proof

      Hi…Just a note that if you have an allergy to sulfa it’s best not to take Benfotiamine. I bought a bottle and tried one without looking into it first and didn’t feel well. I checked with my pharmacist and he said not to take it with a known sulfa allergy. I was really bummed because I thought it would help my energy level, but I was thankful I was given...
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      132,295
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    LaniH
    Newest Member
    LaniH
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.5k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • cristiana
      Feel like I’m starting over

      By cristiana · Posted

      Hi @Scatterbrain Thank you for your reply.   Some of these things could be weaknesses, also triggered by stress, which perhaps have come about as the result of long-term deficiencies which can take a long time to correct.   Some could be completely unrelated. If it is of help, I'll tell you some of the things that started in the first year or two, following my diagnosis - I pinned everything on coeliac disease, but it turns out I wasn't always right!  Dizziness, lightheaded - I was eventually diagnosed with cervical dizziness (worth googling, could be your issue too, also if you have neck pain?)  A few months after diagnosis I put my neck out slightly carrying my seven-year-old above my head, and never assigned any relevance to it as the pain at the time was severe but so short-lived that I'd forgotten the connection. Jaw pain - stress. Tinnitus - I think stress, but perhaps exacerbated by iron/vitamin deficiencies. Painful ribs and sacroiliac joints - no idea, bloating made the pain worse. It got really bad but then got better. Irregular heart rate - could be a coincidence but my sister (not a coeliac) and I both developed this temporarily after our second Astra Zeneca covid jabs.   Subsequent Pfizer jabs didn't affect us. Brain fog - a big thing for people with certain autoimmune issues but in my case I think possibly worse when my iron or B12 are low, but I have no proof of this. Insomnia - stress, menopause. So basically, it isn't always gluten.  It might be worth having your vitamins and mineral levels checked, and if you have deficiencies speak to your Dr about how better to address them?    
    • knitty kitty
      My only proof

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      @NanceK, I do have Hypersensitivity Type Four reaction to Sulfa drugs, a sulfa allergy.  Benfotiamine and other forms of Thiamine do not bother me at all.  There's sulfur in all kinds of Thiamine, yet our bodies must have it as an essential nutrient to make life sustaining enzymes.  The sulfur in thiamine is in a ring which does not trigger sulfa allergy like sulfites in a chain found in pharmaceuticals.  Doctors are not given sufficient education in nutrition (nor chemistry in this case).  I studied Nutrition before earning a degree in Microbiology.  I wanted to know what vitamins were doing inside the body.   Thiamine is safe and nontoxic even in high doses.   Not feeling well after starting Benfotiamine is normal.  It's called the "thiamine paradox" and is equivalent to an engine backfiring if it's not been cranked up for a while.  Mine went away in about three days.  I took a B Complex, magnesium and added molybdenum for a few weeks. It's important to add a B Complex with all eight essential B vitamins. Supplementing just one B vitamin can cause lows in some of the others and result in feeling worse, too.  Celiac Disease causes malabsorption of all the B vitamins, not just thiamine.  You need all eight.  Thiamine forms including Benfotiamine interact with each of the other B vitamins in some way.  It's important to add a magnesium glycinate or chelate supplement as well.  Forms of Thiamine including Benfotiamine need magnesium to make those life sustaining enzymes.  (Don't use magnesium oxide.  It's not absorbed well.  It pulls water into the intestines and is used to relieve constipation.)   Molybdenum is a trace mineral that helps the body utilize forms of Thiamine.   Molybdenum supplements are available over the counter.  It's not unusual to be low in molybdenum if low in thiamine.   I do hope you will add the necessary supplements and try Benfotiamine again. Science-y Explanation of Thiamine Paradox: https://hormonesmatter.com/paradoxical-reactions-with-ttfd-the-glutathione-connection/#google_vignette
    • Wheatwacked
      Related issues

      By Wheatwacked · Posted

      Your goal is not to be a good puppet, there is no gain in that. You might want to restart the ones that helped.  It sounds more like you are suffering from malnutrition.  Gluten free foods are not fortified with things like Thiamine (B1), vitamin D, Iodine, B1,2,3,5,6 and 12 as non-gluten free products are required to be. There is a Catch-22 here.  Malnutrition can cause SIBO, and SIBO can worsen malnutrition. Another possibility is side effects from any medication that are taking.  I was on Metformin 3 months before it turned me into a zombi.  I had crippling side effects from most of the BP meds tried on me, and Losartan has many of the side effects on me from my pre gluten free days. Because you have been gluten free, you can test and talk until you are blue in the face but all of your tests will be negative.  Without gluten, you will not create the antigen against gluten, no antigens to gluten, so no small intestine damage from the antigens.  You will need to do a gluten challange to test positive if you need an official diagnosis, and even then, no guaranty: 10 g of gluten per day for 6 weeks! Then a full panel of Celiac tests and biopsy. At a minimum consider vitamin D, Liquid Iodine (unless you have dermatitis herpetiformis and iodine exasperates the rash), and Liquid Geritol. Push for vitamin D testing and a consult with a nutritionist experienced with Celiack Disease.  Most blood tests don't indicate nutritional deficiencies.  Your thyroid tests can be perfect, yet not indicate iodine deficiency for example.  Thiamine   test fine, but not pick up on beriberi.  Vegans are often B12 deficient because meat, fish, poultry, eggs, and dairy are the primary souces of B12. Here is what I take daily.  10,000 IU vitamin D3 750 mg g a b a [   ] 200 mg CoQ10 [   ] 100 mg DHEA [   ] 250 mg thiamine B1 [   ] 100 mg of B2 [   ] 500 mg B5 pantothenic acid [   ] 100 mg B6 [   ] 1000 micrograms B12 n [   ] 500 mg vitamin c [   ] 500 mg taurine [   ] 200 mg selenium   
    • NanceK
      My only proof

      By NanceK · Posted

      Hi…Just a note that if you have an allergy to sulfa it’s best not to take Benfotiamine. I bought a bottle and tried one without looking into it first and didn’t feel well.  I checked with my pharmacist and he said not to take it with a known sulfa allergy. I was really bummed because I thought it would help my energy level, but I was thankful I was given this info before taking more of it. 
    • Wheatwacked
      Feel like I’m starting over

      By Wheatwacked · Posted

      Hello @Scatterbrain, Are you getting enough vitamins and minerals.  Gluten free food is not fortified so you may be starting to run low on B vitamins and vitamin D.   By the way you should get your mom checked for celiac disease.  You got it from your mom or dad.  Some studies show that following a gluten-free diet can stabilize or improve symptoms of dementia.  I know that for the 63 years I was eating gluten I got dumber and dumber until I started GFD and vitamin replenishment and it began to reverse.  Thiamine can get used up in a week or two.  Symptoms can come and go with daily diet.  Symptoms of beriberi due to Thiamine deficiency.   Difficulty walking. Loss of feeling (sensation) in hands and feet. Loss of muscle function or paralysis of the lower legs. Mental confusion. Pain. Speech difficulties. Strange eye movements (nystagmus) Tingling. Any change in medications? Last March I had corotid artery surgery (90 % blockage), and I started taking Losartan for blood pressure, added to the Clonidine I was taking already.  I was not recovering well and many of my pre gluten free symptoms were back  I was getting worse.  At first I thought it was caused a reaction to the anesthesia from the surgery, but that should have improved after two weeks.  Doctor thought I was just being a wimp. After three months I talked to my doctor about a break from the Losartan to see if it was causing it. It had not made any difference in my bp.  Except for clonindine, all of the previous bp meds tried had not worked to lower bp and had crippling side effects. One, I could not stand up straight; one wobbly knees, another spayed feet.  Inguinal hernia from the Lisinopril cough.  Had I contiued on those, I was destined for a wheelchair or walker. She said the symptoms were not from Losartan so I continued taking it.  Two weeks later I did not have the strength in hips and thighs to get up from sitting on the floor (Help, I can't get up😨).  I stopped AMA (not recommended).  Without the Losartan, a) bp did not change, after the 72 hour withdrawal from Losartanon, on clonidine only and b) symptoms started going away.  Improvement started in 72 hours.  After six weeks they were gone and I am getting better.  
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.