Depressed- Need To Vent

[angel42]

Ok, I realize I'm pregnant and maybe it's just the hormones, but I'm really truly depressed. I feel like our lives are so much harder than non-Celiacs. I'm tired of my "friends" turning up their noses when I bring in gluten-free food or mention going to gluten-free restaurants. I just feel like yelling "I have to eat this way all the time! You can't suck it up for one meal! Do you have any idea how lucky you are?"

I just can't seem to get used to this. I was diagnosed in November so it hasn't even been a year. I honestly feel like this is some sort of nightmare I can't manage to wake up from. Now that I am pregnant my diet is even more restricted. The only diet more restrictive than a Celiac diet is a pregnant Celiac diet.

Please someone tell me it gets easier. Thanks for listening.

[CarlaB]

It gets easier. It's your hormones.

Try bringing naturally gluten-free foods to events. Then people won't even notice. I seldom eat gluten substitutes. Most fresh food, with the exception of fresh bread, is gluten-free.

I use Namaste brownies and they are actually BETTER than gluten brownies. There are a lot of recipes on the website.

Sometimes though illness you find out who your friends really are. If you give your friends a choice of a few different restaurants that are safe for you and that's not good enough for them, they are severely lacking in compassion.

[VioletBlue]

You've been at this about a month longer than I have so I can't tell you it gets easier. I do understand however. People don't get it. Even the ones who try don't get it. The diet is a pain. And if you've got additional allergies on top of that your choices just get so restrictive it's not funny. I understand. I'd give anything for one single meal I don't have to cook. But I'm too much of a wuss to risk a restaurant.

What pisses me off the most these days is probably totally irrational, but it's "normal" people talking about the new diet they're on and how hard it is and how they couldn't stop themselves from getting into the drive through at McDonald's. The martyrdom involved in not being able to resist stopping at McDonalds's just annoys the poop out of me. I want to scream at them "At least a Big Mac doesn't make you sick to your stomach and screw your entire body up for over a week." They don't know how lucky they are.

violet

Ok, I realize I'm pregnant and maybe it's just the hormones, but I'm really truly depressed. I feel like our lives are so much harder than non-Celiacs. I'm tired of my "friends" turning up their noses when I bring in gluten-free food or mention going to gluten-free restaurants. I just feel like yelling "I have to eat this way all the time! You can't suck it up for one meal! Do you have any idea how lucky you are?"

I just can't seem to get used to this. I was diagnosed in November so it hasn't even been a year. I honestly feel like this is some sort of nightmare I can't manage to wake up from. Now that I am pregnant my diet is even more restricted. The only diet more restrictive than a Celiac diet is a pregnant Celiac diet.

Please someone tell me it gets easier. Thanks for listening.

[trishydee]

Angel,

I'm so sorry this is so hard for you. Some of it may be hormones, but you have every right to feel angry and even to feel sorry for yourself.

I've been gluten-free for 6 years and I still hate it! I'm sure you've done lots of searches, but do even more to find food you like and can eat. When I'm feeling hungry and deprived is when I get SUPER depressed - and then I get angry at anyone who is NOT celiac!

Take care

[celiac-mommy]

The only diet more restrictive than a Celiac diet is a pregnant Celiac diet.

I know I'm off the subject (and I TOTALLY understand what you're going through and completely sympathize), but what has to be different for a pregnant celiac diet? Why can't it be a "normal" celiac diet?

-Rachelle

[blueeyedmanda]

Hi Angel,

It is probably the hormones, your body is going through a lot right now. I have been doing this for over 3 years and I still have difficult days and days when I am just want some normal food. It comes and goes. We will cheer you up!!

[Phyllis28]

Eating gluten free will become normal for you overtime. It will get easier.

[angel42]

The only diet more restrictive than a Celiac diet is a pregnant Celiac diet.

I know I'm off the subject (and I TOTALLY understand what you're going through and completely sympathize), but what has to be different for a pregnant celiac diet? Why can't it be a "normal" celiac diet?

-Rachelle

Ok, I didn't know this stuff either until I got pregnant. You are not allowed to have cold cuts. I thought this was ridiculous when I heard it from one of my pregnant friends but a combo of internet research and my dr confirmed. Apparently they are afraid you are going to get listeria which pregnant women are very prone to. You can only eat tuna or salmon or any other fish with high mercury content once a week. I used to eat tons of tuna and salmon before i got pregnant. You can't eat sushi which I used to eat constantly. More than ever I am afraid of being glutened because of the risk of fetal birth defects so if there is the smallest chance something might not be safe I avoid it completely. I guess it depends on what you normally eat but my diet has become substantially restricted.

[Cherry Tart]

I'm sure it's just your hormones talking, plus, a group of apethetic friends don't help. I agree w/ a prior poster who commented that now you can tell who your real friends are. Some people just don't seem to get it! Anywho, every time you get frustrated at your situation, just remember to keep things in perspective....you're so lucky to have good health and the great fortune of getting pregnant. There's a lot of us who will never know such bliss. I wish you well, and not to worry, things will definitely get better! It will all be worth it in the end!

[Fiddle-Faddle]

My understanding is that salmon is not high in mercury, especially wild salmon. Costco sells canned wild salmon--makes great salad, just like tuna.

You can also buy frozen tilapia very inexpensively, poach it in wine, and make salad out of that.

True, you can't eat raw fish sushi now, but you can have all the vegie sushi your little heart and growing tum desire!

I don't think your hormones are so far off--but I do think you need new friends. The ones you have sound so unsupportive, I would rather be alone than have friends like that.

Hang in there!

[Lollipop]

Someone else posted this on a different board but i totally agree with it: they should make a shot that makes a person a celiac for like a week so that your friends can know what it feels like.

Becca

[tarnalberry]

when I think about all the things I can have, it's not really that restricted. it's just really inconvenient. and there are ways to plan around that. you're right - there are times when it can be very "why the hell do I have to deal with this?", but you are probably now aware of more options for food to eat, aware of the nutritional value of your food and your health, and better in touch with how your body is really operating. that is invaluable, and something that a lot of other people don't have. how lucky we are to have that.

[lfij]

Ok, I realize I'm pregnant and maybe it's just the hormones, but I'm really truly depressed. I feel like our lives are so much harder than non-Celiacs. I'm tired of my "friends" turning up their noses when I bring in gluten-free food or mention going to gluten-free restaurants. I just feel like yelling "I have to eat this way all the time! You can't suck it up for one meal! Do you have any idea how lucky you are?"

I just can't seem to get used to this. I was diagnosed in November so it hasn't even been a year. I honestly feel like this is some sort of nightmare I can't manage to wake up from. Now that I am pregnant my diet is even more restricted. The only diet more restrictive than a Celiac diet is a pregnant Celiac diet.

Please someone tell me it gets easier. Thanks for listening.

Hang in there, it does get easier. I swear, when I was first diagnosed you would've thought they shot my cat I was so devastated, but now, two years later, I totally have the hang of it. I'm not saying you'll never want to jump across a table at a restaraunt and eat your friend's food, but, i promise it does get easier!

[Guest Doll]

Ok, I realize I'm pregnant and maybe it's just the hormones, but I'm really truly depressed. I feel like our lives are so much harder than non-Celiacs. I'm tired of my "friends" turning up their noses when I bring in gluten-free food or mention going to gluten-free restaurants. I just feel like yelling "I have to eat this way all the time! You can't suck it up for one meal! Do you have any idea how lucky you are?"

I just can't seem to get used to this. I was diagnosed in November so it hasn't even been a year. I honestly feel like this is some sort of nightmare I can't manage to wake up from. Now that I am pregnant my diet is even more restricted. The only diet more restrictive than a Celiac diet is a pregnant Celiac diet.

Please someone tell me it gets easier. Thanks for listening.

One thing I have found is that the lay public is either too stupid or uncaring to learn about Celiac unless they develop it themselves (even then).

80% People will not get their head around it, no matter what. Even some Celiacs cheat on the diet and don't even know they have an autoimmune disease. They think it's an "intolerance" like lactose intolerance (enzyme deficiency)...doh. Sigh.....

So do what I do. I tell people (my friends included) that I have Celiac. And then I do the "no-no" and call it a severe allergy, like a peanut allergy. I actually have severe "allergic type" reactions, so I feel this drives home the point of how careful I need to be with gluten. I don't make a big deal about anything, I just take care of myself. I tell my friends I need to know where we're going for a meal, and when they tell me, I call the restaurant. I usually give them the option of picking from a choice of Celiac friendly places like The Keg or Moxie's. I call and tell the manager I have a severe gluten allergy much like a peanut allergy, and ask what is on their gluten-free menu. I usually order plain meat (no spices), steamed plain veggies, and a plain baked potato, made in a seperate pan. My friends overall have been as good as one can expect. I don't expect people to want to eat gluten-free pizza if they don't have to. I expect my fiance to, though...that's another story. My friends actually picked a place that served gluten-free pasta for me when it was one of their birthdays. Granted my friend made a comment that we picked a place that catered to "special people" like me, but hey! I can see how it's strange for my friends now, I never had ANY stomach issues before I got Celiac. I was known for being able to eat anything, and having a stomach like a garborator. I never had heartburn, gas, or D/C. In a night, I would polish off a whole pizza and tons of beer no problem! Good thing I have a fast metabolism....

I learned the hard way about people's ignorance from the time I was a child due to having Type 1 diabetes (the rare severe non-preventable kind that always requires insulin and is NOT related to obesity, diet, etc.). People are much more ignorant than you think. I've had people say that I was too thin and too young to have diabetes, not realizing that Type 1 diabetes used to be called Juvenile Diabetes *because* it's usually first dx'd in children, and it is a genetic autoimmune disease that has nothing to do with being fat. Doh!

It will get better. Just take care of your needs. It sounds like your friends aren't very helpful. Tell them you have an allergy now, and you need to make sure you don't get sick. Always carry gluten-free snacks on you so you always will have something to eat.

[Teacher1958]

You're right. It is pretty restrictive. Right now I am a vegan on the celiac diet. I'm hoping that I'll be able to start eating milk products again once I am past the 6-month, dairy free period.

I get very sad sometimes about all of the foods I can't eat. The fact that it's forever is the big thing that bothers me. Eating was always such pleasure for me. My family and I loved going to all sorts of international restaurants and sampling their vegetarian entrees.

I don't think much about non-celiacs really. I work with a hilarious group of people, and from the time I was diagnosed, they have said and done the most ridiculous things that just totally crack me up. It's helped me to handle it better because humor is so therapeutic for me. My 18-year-old son gives me a hard time, too, and it sounds really strange, but his intentionally tactless, warped comments can improve my mood immensely.

Watch funny movies, read funny books, etc. Laughter can be so healing.

Another thing to be happy about is that you're giving your baby the opportunity to come into this world without the effects caused by the celiac disease. I didn't know that I had a problem with gluten, so I ended up in premature labor and my little guy was in the NICU. I felt so badly for him. He's fine now, but I wish he had had a more peaceful beginning.

You will do fine, but it will take time to mourn what you've lost. Give yourself time to do that, but also keep busy and try not to dwell on it and get depressed. This website is a huge help, so keep posting and reading what others have written.

Hugs to you.

[Lillian]

You WILL do great! I mean it! Just think of all the foods we CAN eat! Your friends, believe it or not, need your educational background on the subject and want to be with you and support you, but probably don't know how. You'll have to be a stronger advocate for yourself and they'll hopefully and slowly start to get it. You don't want to make new friends now that your hormones are kicking in and feeling sorry for yourself. They are probably lots of fun and they are here to remind you that life is not always about food. You just continue to bring your own stuff- rice crackers, snacks, whatever, like the rest of us and enjoy being pregnant and your friends. This is a very special time of your life and just have fun. The fact that being a celiac is forever is true. I've been living this new life for about 18 months now and I'm excited to be learning new ways to eat and take care of myself so that I feel good. I can't believe the junk that went into my system before. Also, think about this- not only is celiac forever, so is parenthood! So, you're already ahead of the game. Welcome to the world of foreverness. It's wonderful- you'll be a better parent as you'll know what is in the foods we eat and what is healthy for your children. Had I known all that I know now, I would have fed my kids differently. They're now 24 and 21- healthy and thin- thank G-d, but I sure would have made less turkey sandwiches for their lunches and given them less snacks with preservatives. Oh well, just keep learning and enjoy being pregnant. I promise, you WILL do just great! Lillian