Please Consider What We Are All Here For.

[Chloe77]

Nobody has taken anything away from anybody.

Perhaps the best solution might be to have a thread devoted specifically for hugs and positive feedback, but as I said in an earlier post, that is artificial. It's like pushing a button to hear a recording of, "you are right." Wisdom, growth, and strength don't come from that kind of support for the situation described here.

I am directly speaking to instances where replies are actually mean. I know that doesn't happen all the time in every case everywhere and I never said that.

I don't expect this to board to be what everyone expects and wants. The point is that anyone should be able to post and everyone respect their need or statement. My point was that attacking people for their post is not the way to help anyone in any instance.

I never said that people who do not have celiac disease should not be able to post. I am saying that when someone who does not have celiac disease posts a reply that is hurtful it becomes confusing.

The one thing that I do not enjoy is being told that positive support and hugs are artificial. Like you said, you cannot expect the support to be what you need, but likewise, you cannot assume that positive words and hugs are not exactly what someone else needs. I need to stay positive in this disease. That is what is offending and that is what is being taken away so to speak - the safety to vent and reach out for support.

Just as an example, I feel like my post was attacked and picked apart immediately.

[Glutenfreefamily]

chloe- I know what you mean about being picked apart, it hasnt happened to me here but at other celiac forums. Its one of the main reasons I post here and there without getting involved highly, it sucks and I may be fine here but it bothered me quite a bit.

I was told I was a selfish person for having my husband go gluten free in our home with me and my daughter reacting to cross contamination from him and I was followed around on the board by one person in particular who attacked me at every chance. I do think though that everyone should be able to post on here. Many disorders follow a gluten free diet to help their symptoms such as autism, aspergers, and menieres disease. They need the help as much as we do.

Personally hugs and support arent artificial to me and when I say hugs or Im praying for someone I mean it. I wouldnt say it if I didnt.

[DestinyLeah]

I would personally rather have people tell me to pick myself up and get over it when I am whining than to have everyone tell me they feel sorry for me. Some people will pity you, some will offer criticism, others will watch passively. For you, the sympathy and support is right. For me, it makes me feel like I am being given enough sugar to go into a diabetic coma when there is advice to be had and moving on to do. No two people will share a view on what is 'right' for any one person.

If someone responds to something you wrote, be aware that this means they took the time to read what you wrote, regardless of a) whether they liked or agreed with it or b ) you like what they wrote in response.

It takes time, effort, and thought to reply to something, or to read what any one person wrote. Someone here thought you were worth that time and effort.

I myself have been perceived as mean on another topic in this forum, though that was certainly not my intention. My personality just doesn't mesh with the poster, apparently. With other members, I mesh well. Within an hour, I was being told I deserved to be removed from the boards for being abusive. I stand by the advice I give, the feeling I put into the time I spend on these boards, and the quirky and extremely misunderstood humor I have decided to use to deal with this disease. Some people catch it and laugh, others do not catch it and decide I am unworthy. That is life.

Get up in the morning, and expect certain things:

The sun will rise and set.

The world will turn.

Life will go on.

Beyond that, if you are expecting any one thing to happen, or anything to go a certain way, you will very likely be disappointed. Not everyone will appreciate, like, or respect you or your thoughts... or sometimes your needs, as the case may be. But some will. Someone likely thinks you hang the moon, and would do anything to make sure you were happy and safe. And some of us just tilt our heads and try. The nature of things says that probability is against us. Only so many can try and not fail.

But with certainty I can say, life will go on.

As for the "fake" love and support, I think the communication problem lies in extremes. Not everyone will offer support and be honestly supportive if you ask for it. They will be saying what you want to hear. Not everyone will be fake. Some will be genuinely sympathetic and that is what you asked for. But to assume at each other that you thought everyone would either be supportive or cruel, or be fake or genuine, is causing a failure to communicate. Hope that cleared that one up.

So, as a request: Someone please go look at the Cooked Wheat topic, read my first response, and tell me where the failure was there. Because outside opinions are clearer than the two of us sitting on either side of the argument. Preferably people from both sides of the be supportive/ be realistic argument can go take a look and help me out. I don't want to hurt her, but I am a huge fan of people being realistic.

~Destiny, confused and sure she's being booted

Edited because my "b )" came out like this:

[Fiddle-Faddle]

I

The one thing that I do not enjoy is being told that positive support and hugs are artificial.

Now you are picking my post apart--and misquoting me, too!!!

I said that it is artificial to have ONLY hugs and positive support. It's like asking people to only say, "yes, dear, you're right," and telling people that if they have another perspective, no matter how helpful or correct they may be, that they should keep their mouths shut.

[loco-ladi]

ok, since I am "ancient" as my nephew told me today, seems my mind isn't quite what it used to be, someone early on in the thread was mentioning not eating cookies......

if you haven't yet, try the "cause your special" mixes, the chocolate chip ones seriously have the same taste, the texture is a bit different but still good, I do however suggest that either eat them hot out of the oven or chill them in the fridge, no idea why but at room temp they loose something??

the "cause your special" brownie mix is really good also, my hubby would rather have them now than the "old" kind I add nuts or choco chips almost anything and it comes out great everytime.

[DestinyLeah]

I tried gluten-free Pantry's brownies mix, all I got was molten chocolate stuff. It was yummy, but it was not a brownie. I laughed at the irony of buying brownie mix instead of pudding and getting a hot pudding from the mix.

Advice, anyone?

[blueeyedmanda]

The brownie mix didn't work? Was it the truffle mix...I use that one alot because myself and my office loves it. It isn't molten like you described but more times than not I cannot get it to stay as an entire brownie. When I cut them they crumble...and I have even waited 1-2hrs before cutting and it still happens. not sure what to do..

[Glutenfreefamily]

Destiny- Could it have needed to be cooked longer? I know with namaste cakes I always have to cook them longer and sometimes add aluminum foil to keep the top from getting to dark while the inside is cooking.

[TupsGirl]

Actually, that was me and my friend just told me about Glutenfreeda.com where they have chocolate chip cookie dough that they ship to you frozen and apparently taste just like Nestle Tollhouse cookies. They arrived today and I am SO looking forward to enjoying them. It amazes me how much I too my food for granted before and now it is the little things like good macaroni and cheese, yummy bread and warm cookies that make my day.

ok, since I am "ancient" as my nephew told me today, seems my mind isn't quite what it used to be, someone early on in the thread was mentioning not eating cookies......

if you haven't yet, try the "cause your special" mixes, the chocolate chip ones seriously have the same taste, the texture is a bit different but still good, I do however suggest that either eat them hot out of the oven or chill them in the fridge, no idea why but at room temp they loose something??

the "cause your special" brownie mix is really good also, my hubby would rather have them now than the "old" kind I add nuts or choco chips almost anything and it comes out great everytime.

[Guest j_mommy]

DenstinyLeah,

The Glutino Boxed Brownie mix ia actually really good! It had chunks of chocolate in it too. It is one of the few mixes I have bought that doesn't have a funny aftertaste! I bought mine at Wal-Mart!

Jess