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Isn't It Great When Mom Accuses You Of Making Celiac Up?

aeshlea

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aeshlea Apprentice
aeshlea
Posted

Grrrr...Well I read about this happening. I just spoke with my mom for the first time about celiac disease. I sent her info over email so she could learn more about the diet I would be venturing on...so she in turn did her own research and told me that I must not have any problem with wheat because I did not have the 'gold standard" tests preformed for diagnoses. I explained how I went through enterolab, and sent her info about their tests. My tests came back positive, so I was not sure why she believed I didnt have it. She told me they were not the 'official' tests so they must not be right. I inturn let her know that those tests may be the 'official' tests, but it dosen't mean they are the most accurate.

This whole conversation would have not been a problem if she would have called me sounding concerned, but that was not the case. She called me to accuse me of making it up. And then proceed to yell at me for what I was about to embark on with this diet and how I don't need to. I told her I would send her more info so she could further understand my reasoning but we ended on a bad note.

I didn't think I would have this much of a problem with one of my parents. But, what are you going to do I guess. I am just frustrated with her right now and am going to have to just follow on my way without her support, which is doable, but not ideal. So, I thought I would vent here instead of taking it out on my boyfriend later, which Im sure he will appreciate.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

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Aligray Apprentice
Aligray
Posted

Hey there!

My mom did the same thing! but then she saw me begin to get better and better and now she is turning all our Thanksgiving dishes into gluten free. Give her some time. I know that is hard but u have to do what is best for u. U have to do what makes u feel better.

U will get wonderful advice and support here!

Good luck!

Ali :)

Guest j_mommy
Guest j_mommy
Posted

Vent all you need to...your family member are the ones you are suppossed to be able to count on to back you up and support you!

I get the standard " There's not enough wheat/gluten in this to bother you!" Ummmmm, any gluten is WAY to much. My mom just doesn't get that!

I understand where you are coming from! It sucks sometimes!

Good Luck and hopefully with alittle more time she will figure all this out!

dandelionmom Enthusiast
dandelionmom
Posted

Oh, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'll bet it is some sort of denial. Moms never want anything to be "wrong" with their "little girls."

gfgypsyqueen Enthusiast
gfgypsyqueen
Posted

Isn't family grand! I finally decided that the parents get insulted in some way that you being a celiac means that either the parents did something wrong to make you like this or somehow or another you blame them for crappy genes. Either way its not good. Family seems to take the longest to see that the diet is helping you.

Don't argue, don't debate, keep it factual and brief. Eventually they will see a change in your health and start asking questions. Just ask for their support and tell them you'll be ready to answer questions about the diet when they want to know more.

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted
I told her I would send her more info so she could further understand my reasoning but we ended on a bad note.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. For those who are used to accepting only well-established standards, her reactions are quite expected, but frustrating none the less. At the same time, there is no need for her to understand your reasoning. She doesn't have to agree, or like it, or think it's sane. She merely has to accept that you've made this decision. Just like she might not like the fact that it's raining some day, she just has to accept that it is, because she can't change it. Be like the weather! :lol:

(I've been on two plane flights today - down to San Diego and back. Whether it's the crazy airplane air or the smoke, I can't promise sense! :) )

goldyjlox Contributor
goldyjlox
Posted

It was my biggest worry telling my MIL and of course she doesnt fully understand, my mother was tested and we are awaiting results and she did that voluntary!!! I had my chidlren tested and my MIL is not impressed....too bad for her. This is a serious disease and I want to make sure my kids dont go through what i have.

I am 2 months into the gluten-free diet and feel like a brand new person. No more stomache aches and bloating. You have to do whats best for yourself and hopefully your mom will see the changes and except that this is what you have. Sorry that she is not supportive.

Hoprfully this made sense, I am tired!!!

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Susan-in-NC Rookie
Susan-in-NC
Posted

I second what Dandylionmom said, we don't want our kids to have ANY sort of problem, esp one we may have passed on! And, as many have said -- give her time to see you getting better, that should make all the difference in the world to her.

It is a tough thing to tell family sometimes. I had both my kids tested. The daughter I thought was scott free has celiac disease, the son ( who does have a preexisting IgA problem) was in the clear. However, I plan on having him retest from time to time (blood test as it is less invacive) :rolleyes:

I have tried to contact some other family members -- ex sister in law to let her know -- strong possibility one of her daughters may be celiac disease, long history of symptoms. But she will not respond to me. Not unexpected, when kids were younger on of her kids had a BIG wetting problem (I'm talking into the teens!) but she would say it didn't happen and then the kid would have to sneak to take responsible action. Put the child in a real spot. So, of course she doesn't want to know that I suspect the other child may have a "problem" -- even one that can be managed and make her daughters life easier.

So, give your mom the good info you have about how your new diet is going. If she goes off, get busy and need to make the conversation short and just keep on educating her.

Good luck!

Susan

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