Funny Tales Of The Bizarre And Surreal

[Lisa16]

I have one to start!

I was in college and it was a cold days-- starting to rain. I discovered i needed some things from the local drugstore, so I went to the bank and got out $5.00 (I am dating myself badly now). As i was coming out of the bank I sank nearly up to my knees in fresh concrete.

I stood there and let the surrealness of the situation wash over me while my poor brain tried to comprehend.

Distantly, I heard booming masculine shouts of dismay and before I could blink a burly guy in a raincoat reached out, plucked me out of the concrete and started hosing off my legs and feet with a giant cloth hose. The cold water kind of brought the situation home.

Then Mr raincoat turned to his colleague and said, "Well, I guess we better put some signs up."

I scarpered off to buy my stuff and by the time I got home my shoes, socks and jeans were pretty much a total stiff loss.

[kenlove]

I used to fly a lot, often 4 or 5 times a week and always sleep very good on planes. Flying from Atlanta back to then home in Chicago after a tough assignment, I woke up when the flight attendant shook me and said I had to get off the plane, only I missed Chicago and woke up in Minneapolis!

Fell asleep in the Honolulu airport once too and missed the flight back to Chicago for Thanksgiving. The airlines was able to route me though 4 other cities and I got back in time for dessert.

Being from Chicago I can say I never had concrete shoes like you did though!<G>

I have one to start!

I was in college and it was a cold days-- starting to rain. I discovered i needed some things from the local drugstore, so I went to the bank and got out $5.00 (I am dating myself badly now). As i was coming out of the bank I sank nearly up to my knees in fresh concrete.

I stood there and let the surrealness of the situation wash over me while my poor brain tried to comprehend.

Distantly, I heard booming masculine shouts of dismay and before I could blink a burly guy in a raincoat reached out, plucked me out of the concrete and started hosing off my legs and feet with a giant cloth hose. The cold water kind of brought the situation home.

Then Mr raincoat turned to his colleague and said, "Well, I guess we better put some signs up."

I scarpered off to buy my stuff and by the time I got home my shoes, socks and jeans were pretty much a total stiff loss.

[Lisa16]

Wow Ken! Did they charge you extra for the flight?

When you were in Minneapolis, you were in my neck of the woods! I would have come rescued you and fed you some hot Sri Lankan curry

Here is another one-- it was Thanksgiving break and I was out walking the dog. It was cold and muddy after an early snow and thaw and we were cresting the top of a big hill. When all of a sudden a large Canadian goose fell right out of the sky in front of us. It had been shot in the wing and could no longer fly. My dog's eyes got huge. You could almost see the "LUNCH!" sign turn on! She started baying and took off after the goose, pulling me down the hill on my butt behind her. I finally had the presence of mind to let go. And she got to the goose and the goose turned on her, spread its wings as best it could, hissed and started snapping at her. She fled the scene after the goose connected with her nose. I found her cowering under the stairs after I managed to pick myself up and limp home.

Seriously-- how often does a bg old goose just fall right out of the sky in front of you?

[debmidge]

Ok, another 3 fowl stories

While working in a 3 story office building which had glass reflective windows...one afternoon a duck flew into the plate glass and landed in my boss' chair. Thankfully he was out in the corridor when it happened. There was glass all over the room and a male mallard duck with a damaged beak who was a little stunned. The sound of the crash was amazing.

Next

One morning I left early for work and found red stains on my car. I have a silver car. the stains ran from the hood to the trunk. I thought someone dripped tomato sauce and it dried up or it was CocaCola. I studied it for a while -- it was in a "star" shape, all "star" shapes. Then I remembered the new Hawk in the area and realized the hawk had made a kill and decided to walk on my car with his bloodied talons from front to back! I am not in the suburbs - I live on the borderline of an inner city in NJ to boot!

Next

This time another car - had been in and out of shop several times. One morning I walked to car to go to work and decided to take a look to see if I can see anything under the hood which looked new (as it was at the mechanic's and I took it home in the dark and never got to look under the hood). Well I opened up the hood to find a chicken bone on my manifold! At first I thought the mechanic ate his lunch while he was working on the car then it dawned on me that a critter must have done some "dumpster diving" and ate a chicken leg on my warm engine....and left the bone there!

[kenlove]

I really empathize with the dog! I got chased my a goose while walking along the Canadian Minn. boarder fishing the Rainey River and stepped too close to a nest. This thing started complaining and snapping at me so I took off with it chasing me. It finally gave up but then it dawned on me the damn thing was lucky I was fishing and not into hunting!

The airlines, AA sent me back to Chicago at no charge. There were a few other times I got off at the wrong stop and had to run back to the gate to get back on. These days you might get shot for that. <G>

Wow Ken! Did they charge you extra for the flight?

When you were in Minneapolis, you were in my neck of the woods! I would have come rescued you and fed you some hot Sri Lankan curry

Here is another one-- it was Thanksgiving break and I was out walking the dog. It was cold and muddy after an early snow and thaw and we were cresting the top of a big hill. When all of a sudden a large Canadian goose fell right out of the sky in front of us. It had been shot in the wing and could no longer fly. My dog's eyes got huge. You could almost see the "LUNCH!" sign turn on! She started baying and took off after the goose, pulling me down the hill on my butt behind her. I finally had the presence of mind to let go. And she got to the goose and the goose turned on her, spread its wings as best it could, hissed and started snapping at her. She fled the scene after the goose connected with her nose. I found her cowering under the stairs after I managed to pick myself up and limp home.

Seriously-- how often does a bg old goose just fall right out of the sky in front of you?

[kenlove]

Almost forgot, I'll take a rain check on the gluten-free curry!

[Lisa16]

Here's another foul fowl one (although it is tough to top the mallard!)

For awhile I worked in West Texas, and my introduction to the state was a little bit upsetting. I had just crossed the border from LA and I saw some buzzards eating their lunch on the road. I kept getting closer, yet they showed no signs of flying away. Finally I was almost upon then and the last one, who was so delighted with his lonch, tried to take off holding a large chunk of whatever it had been in his claws.

It was too heavy. He flew almost straight up and had to let it drop. It hit the windshield of my car and oozed down the window and hood,leaving a stinky slimly trail of gore.

I guess it was just his friendly way of saying, "Welcome to Texas!"

Lisa

[jennyj]

Living in Missouri you kind of get used to deer on the roadways and learn at certain times of the year they are more prominent. I hated to drive home from work when I had to work a late shift for that very reason. One night I had only gone a few miles from work when I cam around a curve by a lake when I saw a huge buck. I stopped in the middle of the road and he walked right up to my car. Needless to say I was a little scared but also a little captivated. He then--no lie-- walked right up to the drivers window and looked in at me. I sat there with only a pane of glass between us and stared into his eyes. I was afraid to move. This only lasted a few seconds but seemed like forever. Another car with its lights on bright came behind me and startled him and he jumped over the hood of my car and down to the lake. I told my husband this story when I got home and he just smiled at me like I had lost my mind. It was a really awesome experience, even if no one believed me.

[Lisa16]

Jenny, what a cool story! They are such beautiful animals.

[Jestgar]

Not my story, but I heard it first hand.

I live on an island with a burgeoning deer population. A little old man riding my bus told this story:

"I came outside this morning, and there's this deer standing in my garden breakfasting on my vegetables! So I start yelling and waving my arms and he just looks at me, chewing my lettuce. So I go back inside, get the broom and I actually had to whack him on the butt to get him to leave my garden."

[Darn210]

One of the best Christmas card photos that I've ever gotten. . .

It was a picture of a deer at the window looking in at the cat that in turn was looking at the deer. Cat and Deer were probably about a foot apart with the window in between. The picture was labeled with "JD" (the cat), "Deer in the Garden", and in the background "Fence to keep the Deer out of the Garden".