Etiquette Advice Please

[nthei]

It's Assistance Day and I'm an assistant!

I work for a lawfirm who were wonderful enough to take us assistants out and also send us wonderful looking cookie baskets. Yep a COOKIE basket. It did have a box of chocolates enclosed, however, the ingrediants listed FLOUR, so no go on ANY of it for me. Since I'm Celiac, and yes the firm does know this, I decided to share my basket with the rest of the assistants and put my basket in the kitchen for all to partake. I don't have any one to give them to at home, so I thought that was the best idea.

However, when I was taking my boss to get his car, it hit me all the sudden that that act of putting the basket in the kitchen was rude. I swear I thanked him for it verbally. And I am truly thankful and grateful they thought of me, unfortunately I can't have that stuff and I don't have any one to give it to and didn't want to waste it.

Was that rude?

Should I maybe give a little thank you note or something to smooth out the edges?

A friend in Celiac

Chris

[tarnalberry]

I think it's one of those things that could be seen as rude by someone who's sensitive about these things. Given the circumstances, however, I think it was probably the least rude thing to actually do with it, other than sharing it with neighbors, which is the same spirit but changes who knows about it. ;-)

But what's done is done, and if you're concerned he might think it rude, since you said your office knows about you being celiac, you might just pop into his office and say "I just realized someone may have found it a little odd that I didn't partake in my basket, but shared it. I just wanted YOU to know that I do REALLY appreciate the gesture, and though the ingredients meant I could enjoy by eating, I appreciated getting to share those goodies with everyone else." (Well, I'm not too sure on the last part, really, depends on your boss... Something that mentions, I didn't not eat them 'cause I'm a snob, but that you also got happiness out of sharing it, since the idea of a gift is to bring happiness.) Then you'd have your bases covered.

But in my book, no, I don't think that was rude. But I'm not big on "Proper Etiquette". :-D

[aljf]

I don't think that was rude at all, and you needn't worry about it. A lot of people don't eat sweets anyway and would have done the same thing. If you thanked the boss, that was fine. Besides, from what you said, it sounds like ALL the assistants got the same basket, so it's not like your boss went to a lot of trouble to select a gift just for *you* (in which case it would be very odd for him to have bought a celiac cookies anyway!)

[skbird]

I haven't eaten sweets the whole time I've been at my current job (3 years) and everyone knows this - unless I make them myself. But they keep giving me candies for Christmas, candybars in my mailbox (everyone gets them sometimes, I'm not singled out), etc, and I always just give them to someone else in the office. I don't think anyone thinks its rude, usually the giver feels bad about remembering too late but then they forget the next time, until it's too late.

I would have been really touched by a basket of cookies but probably done the very same thing you did. It sounds like you were tactful enough (I know people who would say, "I can't eat that, what did you give it to me for???"

Stephanie

[mela14]

I think you were gracious enough! Don't sweat the small stuff...i'm sure it was a lovely gift but imagine how your boss would have felt if you ate them, got sick and then couldn't go to work! I'm sure he would be upset that he didn't put more thought into the gift he gave you.

I think you were very polite!

[KaitiUSA]

I don't think it was rude at all.

You may want to give a thank you card...thats what I do for everyone who gets me anything.

Don't feel bad...I think that was a good way to handle it

[nthei]

Thank you everyone for the awesome replies. Believe me, it helps.

After more thought, I'm hopeful it didn't come across as rude. All of us will set cookies and what-not in the kitchen for everyone to enjoy. I. E. our copy vendor brings us cookies when they do large copy jobs for us as a "thank you" and I set those in the kitchen, etc. I guess it was because it was a gift that, for some reason, made me think that way.

My boss is a pretty good boss and he knows what I have went through with this condition and, again, after some thought, I'm sure he didn't want to leave me out of the basket giving and knew I would share and be glad that he thought of me. At least that is what I'm telling myself.

I hope you are all doing great. I've been gluten free one year, there's been a couple downs, but I must say, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. However, I did go through this period where I ate TONS of gluten-free cereal because someone said you "can't have cake anymore" and I wanted cake so bad(never had a craving like that before), and I mean the kind of cake you just walk into a bakery and get, allready made! I've got myself over that now and getting back on track. Not eating every gluten free thing out there. Those glutano big breaks are awesome and hard to resist though.

YOU ARE ALL AWESOME.

Keepin' it gluten free and rocking!

Your friend in Celiac

Chris

[Canadian Karen]

I don't see a problem at all with what you did. I think it was a nice gesture, actually....

You did mention that they knew you were Celiac, therefore, even if the though ever did enter into their mind "Why didn't she eat them?", they should immediately remember, "Oh yeah, I forgot, she has Celiac Disease and CAN'T eat them"..... They are lawyers, aren't they? They should be pretty sharp!

I wouldn't worry about it in the least......

A thank you card is always a nice gesture regardless of any gift you get, any occasion....

Karen

[plantime]

I would have kept the basket itself, but put the cookies on a plate for everyone to share. I do not think you were rude. Rude would have been if you had started crying and whining and throwing a fit because someone forgot that you couldn't have the cookies.