More Frustrations With People

[jasonD2]

I posted on my frustrations with my family when i spent a few days with them for thanksgiving, now Im finding that other people are really getting on my nerves as well.

1. i ate out with my girlfriend last night and they had Gluten Free carrot cake on the menu...my girlfriend read it out to me and then said "oh but it probably has dairy in it so you wont eat it" then rolled her eyes

2. Was at my company's main office this week and had a dinner with colleagues. at the office i was talking to one of the girls in the finance dept who handles my expense reports and i told her it was a rough week and i needed a drink tonite. she said "oh well you shouldnt be drinking with all those food allergies of yours" then she chuckled and walked away

3. My girlfriends 2 friends have been obsessing over what i can eat and cant eat..they keep talking about food they like and all the restaurants they want to go to but then follow it up with "oh well Jason cant eat there so i guess thats off the list"

Meantime my girlfriend is allergic to alcohol and gets palpitations and shortness of breath from it, the girl at my office has an ass the size of Cleveland and one of my girlfriends friends gets violent stomach pains when she eats shellfish, yet im the one being treated like a freak. can anyone explain this?

[Roda]

Try not to obsess over it they are the ones being jerks. Ignore them.

[MelindaLee]

  On 12/12/2010 at 10:22 PM, jasonD2 said:

I posted on my frustrations with my family when i spent a few days with them for thanksgiving, now Im finding that other people are really getting on my nerves as well.

1. i ate out with my girlfriend last night and they had Gluten Free carrot cake on the menu...my girlfriend read it out to me and then said "oh but it probably has dairy in it so you wont eat it" then rolled her eyes

2. Was at my company's main office this week and had a dinner with colleagues. at the office i was talking to one of the girls in the finance dept who handles my expense reports and i told her it was a rough week and i needed a drink tonite. she said "oh well you shouldnt be drinking with all those food allergies of yours" then she chuckled and walked away

3. My girlfriends 2 friends have been obsessing over what i can eat and cant eat..they keep talking about food they like and all the restaurants they want to go to but then follow it up with "oh well Jason cant eat there so i guess thats off the list"

Meantime my girlfriend is allergic to alcohol and gets palpitations and shortness of breath from it, the girl at my office has an ass the size of Cleveland and one of my girlfriends friends gets violent stomach pains when she eats shellfish, yet im the one being treated like a freak. can anyone explain this?

I am guessing from reading your past post that you would never say anything unkind to these people, so I hope it was cathartic to write those things! They are not being good friends. I wish they would realize that their frustration with your dietary limitation is only a fraction of the frustration you feel at times. I would chalk up the finance person as ingnorance. But your friends, especially the gluten-free(EDIT:...ooops...that was to be girlfriend, perhaps that was a freudian slip! )....shame, shame on them!

[Lincoln]

Yeah, I totally know what you mean, after telling my friend who saw me when I was dropping two kilograms a day that I was diagnosed with coeliac his first reply was "f*ck that I always said if I got that I'd top myself"....... f*cking jerk, and then another one of my friends decided that it was funny that I can't eat chocolate due to lecithin intolerance. The other thing that annoyed me was that after never really liking beer much at all everyone decides to point out to me how much gluten free beer costs, like I care I can still drink rum which is all I ever drank anyway. My advice, tell them that it is not supportive, at least once I did this everyone realised that they had been jerks.

[rainer83]

That sucks, I hope they stop being jerks and realize you didn't sign up for this.

I'm lucky, my parents and my friends have been 100% supportive. The only person that isn't is my sister, whom, I don't get along with as it is, so it's not a surprise. She thinks I'm being difficult, but meh. Some have said some stupid comments like "Oh, if I can't have bread, I'd kill myself." Thanks. I'm flat out honest with people and tell them when something isn't appreciated and since then, the people who used to say stupid comments to me, probably just say it behind my back now

[mushroom]

I dunno, Jason, could you find a way to say to these people nicely, in a very reasonable fashion: Hey guys, it's hard enough having to deal with this myself without having to deal with your reactions to it too? And then say, Can we change the subject? So that you make them feel like jerks but are not making a big issue out of it.

When I had a cancer diagnosis, I told my husband, "Listen, I am dealing with this. Now I don't want to have to deal with you dealing with it too!! Because that is even harder than my dealing with it!!!"

[lynnelise]

I feel your frustration. I'd say these people probably don't even know how they are coming across with these comments. Anytime we are with a group and deciding where to eat my husband does the really annoyed "you choose, you're the one with special needs" and for some reason I think it comes across as snarky but I don't think he means it to.

The most annoying thing is when my in-laws literally wave food in my face and go on about how good it is and then say "oh no, you can't eat this can you? I forgot." Somehow I don't think they really forgot but who knows maybe they did. Gluten is not on their mind 24/7 like it is mine.