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How Do I Talk To My Boyfriend About Kissing?

WinterSong

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WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted

Does anyone have any good advice about talking to their significant other about kissing after he/she eats gluten?

I'm sure a lot of non-celiacs would think that it's silly, but I know it's a real concern. Yes, it does take the spontaneousness out of things and may mean carrying a portable toothbrush to restaurants. But how do I talk to him about it without making it seem like a huge deal? He's supportive of me being gluten-free, but at the same time I can tell that things may get a little overwhelming for him once we, for instance, try going out to eat or to parties. So I'm trying to find the easiest way to talk about it.

Any advice? :unsure:

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Does anyone have any good advice about talking to their significant other about kissing after he/she eats gluten?

I'm sure a lot of non-celiacs would think that it's silly, but I know it's a real concern. Yes, it does take the spontaneousness out of things and may mean carrying a portable toothbrush to restaurants. But how do I talk to him about it without making it seem like a huge deal? He's supportive of me being gluten-free, but at the same time I can tell that things may get a little overwhelming for him once we, for instance, try going out to eat or to parties. So I'm trying to find the easiest way to talk about it.

Any advice? :unsure:

Hopefully, if he is your boyfriend, you can talk about this. You could try a funny approach. We will not be swapping spito, chewing gum or crumbs.

Really, you should wait until your married. :blink:

Lol

WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted
  • Author

Hopefully, if he is your boyfriend, you can talk about this. You could try a funny approach. We will not be swapping spito, chewing gum or crumbs.

Really, you should wait until your married. :blink:

Lol

Haha funny how we have to have a "safe kissing" talk. Maybe we should just put plastic bags over our lips. Abstinence is the only truly safe way!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Haha funny how we have to have a "safe kissing" talk. Maybe we should just put plastic bags over our lips. Abstinence is the only truly safe way!

That's perfect! "Joe, we need to have a Talk about safe kissing. Until someone invents lip condoms, you need to brush, floss, rinse well."

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

My hub said do what they do in Annie Hall - get the goodnight kiss out of the way at the beginning of the date. He thinks you should present your date with a pretty gift bag with a toothbrush & toothpaste.

WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted
  • Author

Haha, I'm thinking I should just tell him to read this topic. Pretty funny. :P

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Hub said if it's a bad date, just tell the guy he can take the bag home with him. My 18 year old son looked a bit horrified at the first kiss problem. One of the girls he liked a while back had Celiac. Should I ask him his advice? :ph34r:

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BillJ Rookie
BillJ
Posted

Heres your new Mantra for him .... Glut on you lips ...No sugar from these lips ! or a little more racey one ..... Got Glut ..NO FRUIT !! Make its silly thing ....Before telling him make sure he is well aware of what gluten means to you and then one he has a grasp of it which it sounds like ..Just cutely tell him something like above ! If he is a nice guy he will laugh ...Then tell him ...you know I am serious right ! :D

WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted
  • Author

So I tried to tell him and make it seem as small of an issue as possible. But it didn't go well. I don't know what to do. :unsure:

tea-and-crumpets Explorer
tea-and-crumpets
Posted

It's a little different because we're married, but my husband knows that when he eats gluten, at work or what have you, he has to brush before he gets home. It's the first thing I ask when he walks in the door and leans in. :)

Your boyfriend should be willing to brush his teeth for you. If you had a peanut allergy, would he smooch you after eating a pb and j sandwich? That has literally killed people. Plus he gets the benefit of better oral hygiene!

If he won't do this small thing, I think it says a lot about his character, especially if he knows it makes you sick.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

So I tried to tell him and make it seem as small of an issue as possible. But it didn't well. I don't know what to do. :unsure:

My sweetie gets no lip kisses after gluten, but he does get them all over the rest of his face. Now, if we're going out to dinner he'll kiss me (thoroughly :ph34r: :ph34r: ) in the car before we go in if he's planning on having a beer, or a gluteny dinner. It makes it kinda fun since we use the gluten excuse to play, rather than restrict.

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

Aaaww, that's really too bad :( I don't know what to suggest :o Tell him you don't want to get "sick" of him?? No, probably not :ph34r: What did he say?

WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted
  • Author

Aaaww, that's really too bad :( I don't know what to suggest :o Tell him you don't want to get "sick" of him?? No, probably not :ph34r: What did he say?

He thinks that I'm being ridiculous and overly paranoid. I told him that it will make me sick...I'm at a loss of what to do... :(

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

He thinks that I'm being ridiculous and overly paranoid. I told him that it will make me sick...I'm at a loss of what to do... :(

I don't know how old you are. If he's 20 then I might get his reaction.

He doesn't believe that a crumb will make you sick. Maybe you could get him some info about that fact. But, if he won't do this little thing for you....well, our funny ideas will work for your next dating prospect. :)

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Just talked to hub. Told him BF thinks it's silly. He just shook his head and laughed. He said, " you aren't getting any, Buddy."

My 15 & 18 year old boys are horrified that a boy would make his gluten-free sick. A good gluten-free is hard to come by. They would definitely brush their teeth, stand on their head and clap their feet and/or put on deodorant if a girl would want to kiss them.

Almendra Apprentice
Almendra
Posted

Paranoid? Really.

My hubs was with me during my diagnosis AND seen my waist expand inches in hours post-glutening - and noticed it shrinking later (often weeks later). He's seen me go from bubbly to miserable after a glutening. He gets it.

But really, should a girl have to get kissed after he has a big bowl of pasta - and have him watch what happens to her body over the next few days? How much is he, then, asking of you? The sleepover of a lifetime (grrrr) - and there's no way you deserve to be a celiac science experiment.

If he's already not willing to kill this little dragon for you this early in the relationship when the fires are supposed to be burning, then he's not your real prince anyway. He's a poser.

WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted
  • Author

He seems to be a bit overwhelmed at what a sudden change this diet is, and I'm trying to explain that it's more than a diet - gluten hurts me. And I have to do it. I've found a few articles and books that talk about it and other food allergies, and I'm going to call my doctor to get his medical opinion to offer.

I read on another board that some people are ok with their boyfriend/girlfriend just drinking some water or juice after eating gluten. I know brushing is the best way to go, but is drinking water really effective at all? I also know that even if I don't get outwardly sick, my intestinal lining is still being damaged, so does water get rid of gluten residue?

....This stinks.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

For me, it depends. If he's eaten gluten I usually figure an hour or so, and several drinks of something non-gluten is good enough for light kissing. If he's been drinking gluten, I'm even less concerned about it.

For more involved kissing, I wouldn't care what he had for breakfast, for example, if he'd been gluten-free for the rest of the day. Otherwise, gluten for dinner means brushed teeth before snuggling.

Almendra Apprentice
Almendra
Posted

He seems to be a bit overwhelmed at what a sudden change this diet is, and I'm trying to explain that it's more than a diet - gluten hurts me. And I have to do it. I've found a few articles and books that talk about it and other food allergies, and I'm going to call my doctor to get his medical opinion to offer.

I read on another board that some people are ok with their boyfriend/girlfriend just drinking some water or juice after eating gluten. I know brushing is the best way to go, but is drinking water really effective at all? I also know that even if I don't get outwardly sick, my intestinal lining is still being damaged, so does water get rid of gluten residue?

....This stinks.

:( I hope this is just a learning curve for him.

Everyone has different symptoms - long term and short term. I get pains about 1/2 hour after a glutening and other side effects can last for a few weeks later. This does help me to pinpoint the source of gluten. Some people actually vomit. I've heard of a case where a person with no apparent symptoms almost dies of heart failure from severe anemia (celiac kept iron from absorbing). It can cause a person's bones to age (I've heard of as much as 30 years past their real age - not absorbing calcium) - again, without other symptoms.

In my mind, celiac disease makes us vulnerable to just about any disease caused by malnutrition - because our absorbers aren't working.

Furthermore, an overactive immune system can lead to an even more overactive immune system. The Celiac Disease Center of the University of Chicago states on one of their fact sheets that if diagnosed after the age of 20, we have a 34% (the one in three number strikes me harder when I think about it) of contracting another immunodeficiency disease such as Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus.

The only way to reduce our chances of a crazy amount of diseases is to follow this diet to the best of our ability.

If it could help, the address to the University of Chicago's Celiac website is below:

Open Original Shared Link

Meanwhile, someone who is able to test saliva for gluten using the Elisa Method needs to get on this so we can have some definitive research on the average effectiveness of various cleansing methods for Celiac-Kissing-Preparedness.

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