Annoying Friends!

[domesticactivist]

The way these kids are treating you is unacceptable and definitely not Christian. I think the youth pastor needs to know about this. Maybe, without it being about you, there can be a series of sermons about what it means to be a friend, or coping with chronic disease, or something similar. As far as educating them about celiac - is there a doctor or other "authority" who these kids would believe about celiac? Maybe your group could have a guest speaker.

[Pheebers]

My 13 year old daughter had a big issue at first with people acting all sorry for her in an annoying way. (Especially her grandparents....) Now she emphasizes what she can eat and it helps. As in "I can eat ALL fruits and ALL vegetables and ALL dairy and ALL meat and ALL rice and ALL potatoes.... just not stuff that has been cooked with bread parts." When you put it like that it downplays the different-ness. It has helped.

[kareng]

just not stuff that has been cooked with bread parts."

Love it! Bread parts!

[Pheebers]

Love it! Bread parts!

I know Somehow that's less weird-sounding than gluten... it's oversimplifying but these people aren't cooking for her anyway.

[MirzahT]

Thank you all for your help and suggestions!

Sometimes I feel like it is my fault, but what can I do about it? There is no cure for Celiac. One of my "friends" said "Oh, well you're just so weird. Not because YOU are weird, but because the Celiac makes you weird." That sure confuses me.

Got a question...do you all think that drinking out of someone else's water bottle after they've eaten a sandwich then drank out of it, could make you sick?

I did that a month ago. I was actually on a trip with my church group. Don't get me wrong, I love my church and my youth group. Most of them are fine with it, but there are several who won't give it a rest. Constantly, it's got to be about me and how weird my disease is. So anyway, we were traveling in a car 18 hours from Canada (great situation to get glutened, huh?!)And my bag of gluten free snacks was on the floor along with someone else's bag of snacks. When I thought I was grabbng my water bottle it was actually someone else's. Didn't realize that til after I had drank out of it. I calmly freaked out (if that makes any sense haha) and said that I had not been glutened yet so wasn't sure how long til I would get the side effects of it, but I might know within 3 hours. Well 3 hours passed and my stomach started to hurt but I didn't say anything because they already thought I was exaggerating. Before I knew I had Celiac, I would get random mini-seizures...haven't had any since I went gluten free but that night, at the hotel I woke up with one, so bad I could barely even move. They thought I was making myself do that also. For the enxt couple days traveling home, I had all the great wonderful exciting joyful () side effects from getting glutened. Somehow, they thought it was all in my mind. I'm convinced it wasn't. So basically the whole way home I got comments such as "Stop faking for attention" or "Get over yourself". The last day travelling I was curled up in a ball crying because it hurt so bad, the whole ride. When we got to a rest stop, one of the girls "felt faint" (now who wants attention?!) and had to hold someone's arm. But when I asked to hold their arm to walk inside, I got a few rude comments and looks and they barely helped me at all. I lost great respect for many people that trip. I would not make any of this up! I also wouldn't eat like I do if I didn't have to....who would?!

And please do not lose any respect for churches or Christians because of this. Every church has the few people who will be rude to those who are "different"...guess I'm just having a hard time dealing with it! It's a lot for one girl to handle on her own...haha well enough complaining and long-stories. Thanks for listening Your help and advice is still greatly appreciated, especially on how to handle situations like the one above (one last note about that, I did not complain about my 'glutening" except once, to ask if we could find a rest stop.)

I know this was posted a while ago but i really have to say that im sorry people feel the need to act like that. any person that treats you like that does NOT deserve to be your "friend". my advice is to find some new friends, friends who really care about you and believe you about having celiac. i wish you the best of luck.

-Ceara.

[Eric096]

Kareng said they act like mean 5 year old children.

I have seen mean 5 year old kids myself and Karneg is right, they act exactly like mean 5 year old kids

[AVR1962]

It amazes me how ignorant and rude people can be. If you would have told them you had diabetes, I imagine you would have had a different response from these people. There is a bit more awareness to diabetes but unfortunately i think too many see celiac as a choice when it is not. I think the diet is viewed as new-wave fad and many do not see the importance so they piddle it away with belittling comments and jokes. Realize these people are the ones who have the problem and not you. Only until they have issues will they not find this funny.

I had a sitaution this last week where a family member (knowing I am taking lots of vits) told me that supplements are just junk and "junk" was capitalized. Really? That's the only thing that was giving me nutrients at one point. I didn't rely to the email.

[RainbowRed]

hi i know how you feel i have had it for 5 or 6 years now and i do not like it at all. But hey, we all have are ups and downs.but lets all remember that god has us on this earth for a reason and if that reason is to fight against our temptations then so be it and do not let it bring you down. Just remember that good friends shouldn't do that to you and if they are really your friend, then they should be nicer.

[xJalin]

I would definitely talk to the youth pastor and explain the situation to him, so he knows the seriousness of it, and ask him if he would explain it to the kids there. I know it might be awkward, but if they hear it coming from him, they should acknowledge it and know how serious it is. Especially cross-contamination (what a waste of crackers- those are expensive too!) That's what I did with my youth leader, and he understood and was really nice about it. He told the other kids, and after that they made sure they didn't eat any of the snacks the youth leaders set out for me and were very supportive. Yeah they joked around a little still (though they have never joked around in an unkind way to me) but that was because I joked about it too. I'm sorry the kids in your youth group are rude about it. If they are your friends, you need to let them know you need their support. And don't feel like you need to downplay your condition around them because they'll feel bad if you tell them the truth- if you tell them how you feel they should feel sorry. Don't ever compromise!

[Reba.Loves.Music]

I have the same problem at my youth group! I always have to bring my own snacks too. If they were awesome friends they would try to understand. I hope they become understanding! Just keep praying for them!

[KSMom]

My middle schooler had the same problem.  It had gotten to the point that there were very few things she was comfortable bringing to school for lunch and most of it is not great for you.  Many teens and pre-teens carry the additional burden of being made fun of for what they must eat.  As adults we have the confidence and self-esteem to blow off negative comments from ignorant people. But teens are often forced to eat with peers that are not their "friends".  Her older brother and sister assure her that next year in high school, no one will care what she eats...middle school is a tough few years.

[1desperateladysaved]

We can't always change others, but we can  try to perceive them differently.  My thoughts lately is that I have to learn to be okay with some unjust treatment and low opinions of me.  All people do make mistakes.  I don't always react well either.  Last time flour ended up in the kitchen, I threw it on the floor.  That sure didn't help!

 

It may seem like others are out to get you.  However, it is more likely they are just trying to have a good time.  It is at your expense, but not purposely.  Not many got up this morning thinking to gluten a celiac for the fun of it.  If they do it, they are likely just careless.  We have problems with carelessness at times also.  Don't we.  One never knows what grief they are passing through that day.

 

  Put yourself in their shoes, or remember what you felt before you found out you had celiac.  If someone claimed they couldn't even have a crumb, would you believe them?  I would have thought it outrageous.  I understand how incredible it sounds. 

 

I heard of a person who accused their friend of being obsessed with  her disease.  After the second one got diagnosed with celiac, she went back to apologize to her friend.  Now she could really understand.  Your friends don't understand yet.  Hopefully someday they will learn compassion for others  In the meanwhile take care of yourself, and try not to be crushed when they think low of you. 

 

That is what I am trying to do, but there will always be trouble as long as we are here!  Trouble with others, and trouble with yourself!

[gabechevarrieta]

Hey all,

Well I've been on the gluten free diet for about 7 months (it feels like it's been 7 years haha ) I was diagnosed with Celiac in September, 2010.

In the beginning, I obviously had no idea which gluten free foods tasted good and which ones didn't. I do a lot of activities with my youth group at church, so I am constantly bringing meals and snacks with me and eat them in front of my friends. So, in the beginning I would bring some pretty nasty stuff because it's all I could find. My friends were curious and wanted to try my "strange and abnormal food". I let them and they ended up wasting my cupcake and, may I say, being quite rude by wiping what was left of it all over the pavement right in front of me. The next time I had some crackers and I got up to get a napkin....when I came back my friend had reached her hand in the box (while eating pizza) to try one of my crackers. When I said that I couldn't eat them now because of that, all my friends decided to laugh at me and make a big deal out of it. I didn't get what their problem was...

So after that, noone really wants to try any of my food (not that I want them to). But they make it a point to say something about my food, like "Oh, what do you have today, another meal that looks and tastes like rotten dog food?" Or, "How can you eat something so disgusting like that." Why do they need to make such unnecessary rude remarks to me?! Going gluten free is hard enough as it is, and I don't need my friends acting like this on top of it all.

I also get the annoying questions like "What are you going to do when you are dating, tell him 'oh we have to go somewhere gluten free'" And they say "gluten free" like I am some sort of exaggerator. That's another thing......they don't believe me. Especially about cross contamination. I try to explain that I am doing this because it is for my health..sometimes I even use scary things like "If I eat that my body will destroy itself." hahaha...I have to have a little fun with them sometimes! But most of the time I feel like either A.Freaking out!! B. Wringing their necks. or C. Praying that they all get celiac disease. lol

So how do you deal with those things:

1. Your friends not believing you or saying you are exaggerating.

2. Your friends making awful comments about what you're eating and about how careful you have to be.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks

 

 

Hey all,

Well I've been on the gluten free diet for about 7 months (it feels like it's been 7 years haha ) I was diagnosed with Celiac in September, 2010.

In the beginning, I obviously had no idea which gluten free foods tasted good and which ones didn't. I do a lot of activities with my youth group at church, so I am constantly bringing meals and snacks with me and eat them in front of my friends. So, in the beginning I would bring some pretty nasty stuff because it's all I could find. My friends were curious and wanted to try my "strange and abnormal food". I let them and they ended up wasting my cupcake and, may I say, being quite rude by wiping what was left of it all over the pavement right in front of me. The next time I had some crackers and I got up to get a napkin....when I came back my friend had reached her hand in the box (while eating pizza) to try one of my crackers. When I said that I couldn't eat them now because of that, all my friends decided to laugh at me and make a big deal out of it. I didn't get what their problem was...

So after that, noone really wants to try any of my food (not that I want them to). But they make it a point to say something about my food, like "Oh, what do you have today, another meal that looks and tastes like rotten dog food?" Or, "How can you eat something so disgusting like that." Why do they need to make such unnecessary rude remarks to me?! Going gluten free is hard enough as it is, and I don't need my friends acting like this on top of it all.

I also get the annoying questions like "What are you going to do when you are dating, tell him 'oh we have to go somewhere gluten free'" And they say "gluten free" like I am some sort of exaggerator. That's another thing......they don't believe me. Especially about cross contamination. I try to explain that I am doing this because it is for my health..sometimes I even use scary things like "If I eat that my body will destroy itself." hahaha...I have to have a little fun with them sometimes! But most of the time I feel like either A.Freaking out!! B. Wringing their necks. or C. Praying that they all get celiac disease. lol

So how do you deal with those things:

1. Your friends not believing you or saying you are exaggerating.

2. Your friends making awful comments about what you're eating and about how careful you have to be.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Thanks

If your "friends" can't even respect you and support you when it comes to something as simple as the foods you eat, they're not going to respect you about anything else, or something even more serious than this (not saying this isn't serious). Not to sound mean or harsh, but if I was you i'd get some new friends who don't straight up bully you.