Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

How To Approach Dating?

Georgia-guy

Recommended Posts

Georgia-guy Enthusiast
Georgia-guy
Posted

My name is georgia_guy. I'm young (25), I'm single, and I'm a newly Dx Celiac. *and the room chimes in "hi georgia_guy"*

My question is, what is the best way to approach dating with celiac? Chances of finding a woman who has celiac are rather slim, so how does on go about saying "let's go to dinner, but I can't eat 90% of the things on the menu cuz I have some crazy AI that most people have never heard of"? I know it will weed out the players, gold diggers, one-nighters, etc (which is a positive), but this whole thing and dating is really Greek to me...

(mods, I like to consider myself a "young adult"-even though I feel quite old most days, and didn't see anything about an age limit, but if 25 is over the "young adults" age limit, please let me know)

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


powerofpositivethinking Community Regular
powerofpositivethinking
Posted

hi georgia_guy,

 

here's a thread I started awhile back that may be helpful: https://www.celiac.com/forums/topic/106154-dating-thoughts-and-profile-help/

 

There are girls and guy out there who will understand, and see you who for you really are.  Remember you have celiac disease, but celiac doesn't define you  :)

 

PS-Here's a comical part from the thread, "Went out with a guy the other night and it was going really well.  After dinner, second time at PF Changs!!, he tried to kiss me but I had to kill the moment and say sorry I can't kiss you because of what you ate, and oh btw I have celiac disease.  Awkward...

 

However he seems to have passed the celiac jerk-o-meter test because I heard from him today, and he told me he called a few restaurants around the area about their gluten-free menus but also said if I wanted to do something else that works for him too.  That made my day   :)"

 
That makes for a funny story now, but I remember thinking leaving...wow what a way to end  :lol:  Good news is I'm still dating him after three months.  There are good people out there  :)
KCG91 Enthusiast
KCG91
Posted

There was a really good thread about this a few months ago that would be worth digging out: https://www.celiac.com/forums/topic/106154-dating-thoughts-and-profile-help/

 

For what it's worth, when I was 17 (I'm 22 now) I started seeing a guy in his early 20s who had coeliac, which was the first time I'd heard of it. The first couple of dates we just went for coffee or to the cinema or the pub. All of which potentially involve a little gluten (cake with coffee, beer at the pub) and provide a good opportunity to mention it. By the time we got to dinner it was all comfortable enough to just deal with. I'm vegetarian, which complicated things further, but also I suppose that made me quite tolerant of other people's restrictions. And to be honest by that stage he could've told me that he existed solely on cotton wool and I probably wouldn't have cared because I liked him enough for diet not to matter! (He turned out to be a jerk but at least I was just out of practice with the lifestyle, rather than a complete newbie, when I was diagnosed). 

 

Good luck. Think of it as an added anti-jerk mechanism :) 

Georgia-guy Enthusiast
Georgia-guy
Posted
  • Author

So I got confused for a second there...I thought I kept clicking the same link, then realized y'all both linked to the same thread. But anywho, there's some helpful information there, but even with the no gluten risk first dates, I'm still scared of the feeling a connection, then we go out to eat and I ask for the allergen or gluten-free menu, and get "the look".

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

As a mom of a 21 yr old - that is close to your age - I can say that young people seem familiar with Celiac. They may not know the name but if you explain its the " no gluten thing", they will have heard of it. I think nice girls won't mind. Going to Pf. Chang's and ordering off the gluten-free menu and sharing is a great date. The food doesn't taste any different. Most items except for the obviously gluteny ones, can be made gluten-free. Or share a gluten-free pizza. Or cook at home ( a bit tricky on a first date). Maybe bring a picnic.

The most important part of this thread - nice girls won't mind! Both of my boys have dated gluten-free & food allergy girls & have celiac friends. My boys do not have Celiac. One did complain that her pizza cost $4 more than his.

LauraTX Rising Star
LauraTX
Posted

Step 1: Become more comfortable with the whole celiac thing in general over a little bit of time

Step 2: Become an awesome home cook and develop a repetiore of stunning meals

Step 3: Ask a girl out and either prepare an awesome dinner at your place or bring a lovely picnic for the first few dates, doling out the romantic cheesy stuff like a blanket, wine glasses, and real silverware; she will be impressed.

Step 4: Once you know a girl is worth your time you can slowly ease her into the reality of your dining out options.  If she is a good catch, it won't be a big deal to her once she has gotten to know you.

Step 5:    #winning

powerofpositivethinking Community Regular
powerofpositivethinking
Posted

With the connection part, if it's meant to happen, it will!  I focused on the things I knew we had in common first.  

 

I did not eat out for a very long time, but the longer I've been gluten free the stronger and more confident I've become.  Call the restaurant ahead.  I usually call and ask first if they have a gluten free menu, and if that's a yes, then I ask if they take steps to prevent cross contamination.  

 

I'm a huge fan of saying I have to follow a medically necessary gluten-free diet when I go out to eat, and I say it in a pleasant, upbeat way with a smile across my face because nobody likes a diva :)   The word medically gets the server's attention.  If you don't have it already, download the Find Me Gluten-Free app.  The guy I'm seeing put it on his phone himself, and sometimes he eats the same as me, but it doesn't matter to me if he doesn't.  He wasn't weirded out when I told him he'd have to brush his teeth before kissing me.  There are understanding people.

 

You can do this!!

 

 

So I got confused for a second there...I thought I kept clicking the same link, then realized y'all both linked to the same thread. But anywho, there's some helpful information there, but even with the no gluten risk first dates, I'm still scared of the feeling a connection, then we go out to eat and I ask for the allergen or gluten-free menu, and get "the look". <----like that

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


beth01 Enthusiast
beth01
Posted

I don't date, I have a live in boyfriend but I can relate to the newness of your diagnosis.  But, I can tell you that if I would have been diagnosed when I was still married my ex-husband wouldn't have been nearly as supportive as my boyfriend is now ( maybe why he is an ex lol).  My point is, yes it's going to be hard trying to date when some people are so ignorant of Celiac disease ( I was one of them, I had never heard of Celiac until the day of my diagnosis) but there are going to be women out there that are going to be completely understanding and some that are not.  It's the ones that are that you cherish. My BF has gone completely gluten free at home so I don't have to worry about cc at home and he is talking about going completely gluten free totally across the board ( he did gluten me one night after not brushing his teeth).  One day I was in the dumps on our way to the hospital and expressed my concerns that he was going to see me as a burden like my ex did.  His response " well if I have to start changing your feeding tubes and diapers, I will get you a good nurse for when I am not around".  I just might have to keep him forever.

I met my boyfriend through a friend and was friends with him before we started dating.  Maybe you could enlist one of your friends into helping you, introducing you to their girlfriends' hot friends so you can get to know them first through mutual parties and such.  Then finding out later about your condition won't be such a big deal, they will probably already know.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,556
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Rachel Wilson
    Newest Member
    Rachel Wilson
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Scott Adams
      Taken Seriously

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      Your post demonstrates the profound frustration and isolation that so many in the Celiac community feel, and I want to thank you for channeling that experience into advocacy. The medical gaslighting you endured for decades is an unacceptable and, sadly, a common story, and the fact that you now have to "school" your own GI specialist speaks volumes about the critical lack of consistent and updated education. Your idea to make Celiac Disease a reportable condition to public health authorities is a compelling and strategic one. This single action would force the system to formally acknowledge the prevalence and seriousness of the disease, creating a concrete dataset that could drive better research funding, shape medical school curricula, and validate the patient experience in a way that individual stories alone often cannot. It is an uphill battle, but contacting representatives, as you have done with Adam Gray, is exactly how change begins. By framing it as a public health necessity—a matter of patient safety and protection from misdiagnosis and neglect—you are building a powerful case. Your voice and your perseverance, forged through thirty years of struggle, are exactly what this community needs to ensure that no one else has to fight so hard just to be believed and properly cared for.
    • Scott Adams
      Looking for a gluten-free roomie in Denver CO

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      I had no idea there is a "Louisville" in Colorado!😉 I thought it was a typo because I always think of the Kentucky city--but good luck!
    • Scott Adams
      Allergy medication: cetirizine by the HealthA2Z is it gluten free?

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      Navigating medication safety with Celiac disease can be incredibly stressful, especially when dealing with asthma and severe allergies on top of it. While I don't have personal experience with the HealthA2Z brand of cetirizine, your caution is absolutely warranted. The inactive ingredients in pills, known as excipients, are often where gluten can be hidden, and since the FDA does not require gluten-free labeling for prescription or over-the-counter drugs, the manufacturer's word is essential. The fact that you cannot get a clear answer from Allegiant Health is a significant red flag; a company that is confident its product is gluten-free will typically have a customer service protocol to answer that exact question. In situations like this, the safest course of action is to consider this product "guilty until proven innocent" and avoid it. A better alternative would be to ask your pharmacist or doctor to help you identify a major national brand of cetirizine (like Zyrtec) whose manufacturer has a verified, publicly stated gluten-free policy for that specific medication. It's not worth the risk to your health when reliable, verifiable options are almost certainly available to you. You can search this site for USA prescriptions medications, but will need to know the manufacturer/maker if there is more than one, especially if you use a generic version of the medication: To see the ingredients you will need to click on the correct version of the medication and maker in the results, then scroll down to "Ingredients and Appearance" and click it, and then look at "Inactive Ingredients," as any gluten ingredients would likely appear there, rather than in the Active Ingredients area. https://dailymed.nlm.nih.gov/dailymed/   
    • Scott Adams
      Protein or fat?

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      What you're describing is indeed familiar to many in the Celiac community, especially in the early stages of healing. When the intestinal villi are damaged from Celiac disease, they struggle to properly digest and absorb fats, a condition known as bile acid malabsorption. This can cause exactly the kind of cramping and spasms you're seeing, as undigested fats can irritate the sensitive gut lining. It is highly plausible that her reactions to dairy and eggs are linked to their higher fat content rather than the proteins, especially since she tolerates lean chicken breast. The great news is that for many, this does improve with time. As her gut continues to heal on a strict gluten-free diet, her ability to produce the necessary enzymes and bile to break down fats should gradually return, allowing her to slowly tolerate a wider variety of foods. It's a slow process of healing, but your careful approach of focusing on low-fat, nutrient-dense foods like seeds and avocado is providing her system the best possible environment to recover. Many people with celiac disease, especially those who are in the 0-2 year range of their recovery, have additional food intolerance issues which could be temporary. To figure this out you may need to keep a food diary and do an elimination diet over a few months. Some common food intolerance issues are dairy/casein, eggs, corn, oats, and soy. The good news is that after your gut heals (for most people who are 100% gluten-free this will take several months to two years) you may be able to slowly add some these items back into your diet after the damaged villi heal. This article may be helpful: Thank you for sharing your story—it's a valuable insight for other parents navigating similar challenges.
    • Beverage
      Diagnosed celiac for 1-2 months ago and everything makes me bloated.

      By Beverage · Posted

      I had a very rough month after diagnosis. No exaggeration, lost so much inflammatory weight, I looked like a bag of bones, underneath i had been literally starving to death. I did start feeling noticeably better after a month of very strict control of my kitchen and home. What are you eating for breakfast and lunch? I ignored my doc and ate oats, yes they were gluten free, but some brands are at the higher end of gluten free. Lots of celics can eat Bob's Red Mill gluten-free oats, but not me. I can now eat them, but they have to be grown and processed according to the "purity protocol" methods. I mail order them, Montana Gluten-Free brand. A food and symptoms and activities log can be helpful in tracking down issues. You might be totally aware, but I have to mention about the risk of airborne gluten. As the doc that diagnosed me warned . . Remember eyes, ears, nose, and mouth all lead to your stomach and intestines.  Are you getting any cross contamination? Airborne gluten? Any pets eating gluten (they eat it, lick themselves, you pet them...)? Any house remodeling? We live in an older home, always fixing something. I've gotten glutened from the dust from cutting into plaster walls, possibly also plywood (glues). The suggestions by many here on vitamin supplements also really helped me. I had some lingering allergies and asthma, which are now 99% gone. I was taking Albuterol inhaler every hour just to breathe, but thiamine in form of benfotiamine kicked that down to 1-2 times a day within a few days of starting it. Also, since cutting out inflammatory seed oils (canola, sunflower, grapeseed, etc) and cooking with real olive oil, avocado oil, ghee, and coconut oil, I have noticed even greater improvement overall and haven't used the inhaler in months! It takes time to weed out everything in your life that contains gluten, and it takes awhile to heal and rebuild your health. At first it's mentally exhausting, overwhelming, even obsessive, but it gets better and second nature.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.