Birthday and Food related depression/anxiety

[Scormier44]

I got diagnosed in March of this year so I've been gluten free for about six months. Mostly it's ok, and I manage by cooking more at home, eating out at restaurants that are "safe" and ordering things that are naturally gluten free, and not really eating at other people's houses when I can help it BUT as I approach my birthday I find myself getting INCREDIBLY depressed. Usually for our birthdays my husband and I will take each other out to one of our favorite restaurants....but I dont have those anymore. He mentioned a few places that we've been in the past for these occasions that used to be my favorite, and they're perfectly fine but I just couldn't get excited until it hit me...

Sure, I CAN eat in these places, and I do,  but why waste they money when I cant get what I actually want? How exciting is salad on your birthday? I think maybe he doesn't get it because I still try to go out when he wants, and I'm accommodating and dont complain but, I NEVER get what I want! That place where I loved the pizza? Salad. The Italian restaurant where we had our first date? Salad. Even the Mexican place (That I LOVED) where we used to be regulars only has flour tortillas.

I told him I'd rather eat at home and he's been upset about it, like I'm not allowing him to do this nice thing for me that we used to enjoy so much, so now I'm super anxious about it...which is making me not want to even recognize the day at all!

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here...not so much help or suggestions, though i would take that...but maybe just knowing I'm not alone in my feelings about this?
 

[ravenwoodglass]

Sorry your having such a tough time. Sure can sympathize. Options in my town are very limited. One can only eat so many salads while others are eating their favorite (now off limits) foods.

Have you done a search for restaurants that have a gluten free menu that might be close to you?  I was surprised to find quite a few within a 1/2 hour drive by putting my zip code and gluten free restaurants in a search engine. Maybe you dould find someplace that can be your new celebration spot.

I hope you can have a Happy Birthday.

[cstark]

31 minutes ago, Scormier44 said:

I got diagnosed in March of this year so I've been gluten free for about six months. Mostly it's ok, and I manage by cooking more at home, eating out at restaurants that are "safe" and ordering things that are naturally gluten free, and not really eating at other people's houses when I can help it BUT as I approach my birthday I find myself getting INCREDIBLY depressed. Usually for our birthdays my husband and I will take each other out to one of our favorite restaurants....but I dont have those anymore. He mentioned a few places that we've been in the past for these occasions that used to be my favorite, and they're perfectly fine but I just couldn't get excited until it hit me...

Sure, I CAN eat in these places, and I do,  but why waste they money when I cant get what I actually want? How exciting is salad on your birthday? I think maybe he doesn't get it because I still try to go out when he wants, and I'm accommodating and dont complain but, I NEVER get what I want! That place where I loved the pizza? Salad. The Italian restaurant where we had our first date? Salad. Even the Mexican place (That I LOVED) where we used to be regulars only has flour tortillas.

I told him I'd rather eat at home and he's been upset about it, like I'm not allowing him to do this nice thing for me that we used to enjoy so much, so now I'm super anxious about it...which is making me not want to even recognize the day at all!

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here...not so much help or suggestions, though i would take that...but maybe just knowing I'm not alone in my feelings about this?
 

Been there, done that. No fun!  And you are right, one can only eat so much salad before their nose starts twitching and they start to hop.  Sorry, for the sad humor.

Anyway, most of the restaurants in town have their own websites so I started to research to see if they have a gluten free menu available.  I was pleasantly surprised when I found that the majority of my favorite places have gluten free menus (i.e. Olive Garden and Paradiso).  Some restaurants have a separate menu and others have a spreadsheet of all the common allergens (i.e. Applebees and Red Lobster).  Applebees has a Bourbon Street Chicken entrée that is completely safe and is delish. If a restaurant does not specifically say on their website if they do offer gluten free, I have gotten into the habit of calling them.  My opinion, the leg work/research is half the battle.

When I get to the restaurant, I feel like a broken record that I need to see the gluten free options.  Last time I went to a restaurant, the waiter did not seem to quite understand and the entrée got cc'd by accident.  From now on, I will be handing the waiter/waitress the restaurant card that explains the whole reason behind needing the gluten free menu.  You can print out these restaurant cards in many different languages including English. This is website you can find them at: Open Original Shared Link (Thank you for to whoever recommend this website in a post.)

Good luck and happy birthday!  

[Newly Diagnosed]

I get it.  My birthday is coming up in October and it will be my first gluten free birthday too.  I always used to get ice cream cake (can't because of the crunchies, and there is no Carvel near me to get a special order cake) and I have already been thinking how much I will miss that tradition.  Vacation was difficult this past July because all of our "favorites" were no longer available to me.  My husband was very supportive and said we would find some new favorites, and we did, but I still missed my old favorites.  I think eventually this will not be so difficult.  Soon we will have new traditions.  In the meantime, my new favorite restaurant is Outback because I they have a good variety on their gluten free menu and all the waiters and waitresses I have had there since being gluten free have been very educated about it.  Happy birthday and good luck deciding what YOU want to do on your day!

[GF-Cheetah Cub]

I don't think you are alone in this at all.   But the thing is do now is to find a new set of favorite restaurants to go to.

Your old favorites will not do if the only thing you can eat there is salad.   But you may be able to find new pizza places that serve gluten free pizzas, new Italian restaurant with safe gluten free pastas, and new Mexican places with gluten-free tacos.    There are many restaurants that cater to people with dietary restrictions.

When my daughter was diagnosed with celiac, we had a handful of restaurants that we like to frequent, we could no longer go back to any of them.   But now we have a new handful of restaurants that my family can frequent, and it is all good.   

 

 

[gluten-free girl 67]

I can sympathize. Feeling depressed too. I wish I could eat whatever I want! So tired of this disease. 

[Ennis-TX]

Yep so can sympathize with this, I make my own  Cinnamon Roll Cookie Cake, or Maple Cinnamon Cake, Fix a bit more extravagant meal with extra effort. and book a hotel in a vacation spot for the night. I pack up prefixed meals, my cake, meds and snacks and me and my girl head out to spend a lovely few nights out, eat at the hotel and treat ourselves. Can not eat out like I used to so I do this to make myself feel better, the heading out to somewhere special and eating a bit more special meal really helps with the depression of recalling old traditions you can not do any more. Been doing this for the past 3 years instead of sitting around like I used to over thinking things.

[cyclinglady]

2 hours ago, Ennis_TX said:

Yep so can sympathize with this, I make my own  Cinnamon Roll Cookie Cake, or Maple Cinnamon Cake, Fix a bit more extravagant meal with extra effort. and book a hotel in a vacation spot for the night. I pack up prefixed meals, my cake, meds and snacks and me and my girl head out to spend a lovely few nights out, eat at the hotel and treat ourselves. Can not eat out like I used to so I do this to make myself feel better, the heading out to somewhere special and eating a bit more special meal really helps with the depression of recalling old traditions you can not do any more. Been doing this for the past 3 years instead of sitting around like I used to over thinking things.

Ooooo, I am going to make these cakes (after I get over my pumpkin craving!).  My hubby would love them (he can not eat chocolate, poor guy).  I love your ideas!  I think we (our society) emphasize food too much.  It is all about the company we keep!  

[Ennis-TX]

4 minutes ago, cyclinglady said:

Ooooo, I am going to make these cakes (after I get over my pumpkin craving!).  My hubby would love them (he can not eat chocolate, poor guy).  I love your ideas!  I think we (our society) emphasize food too much.  It is all about the company we keep!  

Hmm I will PM you the recipes,

 

[Tonra44]

There are plenty of restaurants near us with gluten free options…they’re just not GOOD. And I don’t want to waste the money if it’s not good.

 The gluten free options at Italian restaurants near us are typically pasta free (if I wanted chicken or something, I’d go somewhere else) and I’ve even been to a place that offered a “gluten free chicken club” and it was literally a chicken breast with melted cheese on it. Not AT ALL what I thought I was getting, and frankly, kind of insulting.

We ended up just staying home. There’s so much about my many autoimmune diseases that my drs just tell me I’ll get used to but shouldn’t they be trying to find a cure instead of assuming we’ll all eventually become comfortable with misery? Thanks for the advice though everyone

[Mr. Pep'r]

A word caution about eating out.  Since I have stopped placing my health into the hands of others who either don't care, or don't understand, I have noticed a dramatic improvement.  For the past year and half I have only eaten at dedicated gluten free establishments, I was tired of constantly getting sick.  And keep in mind I was still only eating at so the called "safe" restaurants with high ratings or recommendations.  

Salads, Italian and Mexican foods are probably some of the highest risks of cross contamination meals out there.

I know some will read this and say my level of sensitivity isn't that high.  But for those with Celiac, no level of gluten is safe.  So, for someone with my level of sensitivity who has gotten extremely sick off all three of the listed foods more often than I can count, one can only assume that they are also ingesting gluten as well, just not to the level of causing a visible reaction. 

One day, maybe, there will be an establishment that truly gets the fact that you DO NOT need wheat, barely, rye, oat or malt in any of the served meals for everyone to truly enjoy.  I guess one can only dream.