Eating with family during holidays

[HayleighNoWhey]

Hello! My name is Hayleigh, I’m in my late 20s (I’ve been diagnosed with celiac disease since I’ve been 17 through an endoscopy) Thanksgiving was alright, I made my own food and kept it separate from everyone else’s. The issue is a lot of the times they try to get me to eat their food. Like regular bread, stuffing etc. and when I explain to them many times that I can’t they say “just a little won’t hurt you.”

 

And that I need to “build up immunity.” I also have tree nut allergies and my mother tries to encourage me to eat tree nuts as she claims she used to be allergic too before eating a little everyday. I’m not sure the science behind that. I have an epi-pen which I carry everywhere with me. It doesn’t help I have an older cousin who also has celiac disease and she eats regular food, she ate the stuffing the cookies the pie etc etc. I asked if her stomach hurts after, she said it does but she just takes a Gas X.  
 

So when I say I can’t, it makes my family confused as my cousin is eating this food. I try to avoid gluten like the plague, I remember the terrible pain the nausea and throwing up all the time. It took I think about a year for my stomach to not feel like I ripped a scab off on the inside. But everyone seems to think I’m being dramatic. Anyone else have similar family? They refuse to understand and think you’re just being a picky eater/ prude?
 

A few months ago back in July we had a family  gathering, none of the food was gluten free, so I just sat there while people ate which embarrassed my mother. She told me to pretend to eat something at least,  so I wouldn’t  look so strange. I didn’t even think of bringing my own food at the time. I do love my family but it’s frustrating at times.

[Scott Adams]

As you likely already may know, people with celiac disease can't "build up immunity" to gluten, and it can cause serious health issues if you continue to eat it.

Celiac.com has published a book on our site by Jean Duane PhD called Gluten-Centric Culture, which covers many of the social aspects of having celiac disease:

This chapter in particular covers issues around eating with family and others - Gluten-Centric Culture: Chapter 5 - Grabbing A Bite Together:

 

 

[trents]

You are not alone in your struggle:

https://vimeo.com/486284734

I think it is an imperative that you stand strong and not allow others to brow beat you and make you feel that you are raining on family gatherings. Remind yourself that their attitudes are their problem and not yours. I would also suggest you make up some bulleted fliers with concise information about celiac disease that you can hand out to family members to educate them. In other words, you be the one to take control of the situation instead of letting others set the tone. Do some thinking and develop some respectfully assertive responses that will give you control.

 

[Wheatwacked]

7 hours ago, HayleighNoWhey said:

I need to “build up immunity

The best way to do that is by raising your vitamin D intake by high dosage aupplement or unprotected summer sun.  10.000 IU a day will over time stabilize at about 80 ng/ml. Even so, it does not solve your Celiac Disease but may moderate the effect of minor cross contamination.  If you eat gluten your symptoms or other symptoms will come back.  It is not like getting over a cold.

Vitamin D and the Immune System     Possible Role of Vitamin D in Celiac Disease Onset

[HayleighNoWhey]

Thank you everyone for your replies 

[misslemon]

This sounds awful and I'm sorry you're having to deal with it. Good for you for standing strong and not giving in to the pressure to eat gluten. It's certainly not worth long term damage to your health to make these people feel a little more comfortable.   

Are you familiar with the Ask a Manager blog? There are a lot of letters where she addresses this kind of situation in the workplace, and she has great suggestions for specific wording for conversations with people who are pushing boundaries or making hurtful comments about things that are none of their business. Might be some ideas there you can use to address this in a productive way.

If it were me and the comments were frequent enough, I would be skipping some holidays, but hopefully you won't have to do that.

I hope Christmas is better for you in this regard than Thanksgiving!