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A Little Inspirational Message For A Parent With A


AmyandSabastian

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AmyandSabastian Explorer

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by

Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.


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angel-jd1 Community Regular

Thanks for sharing that. I have read that time and time again in my Special Education classes. I had forgotten about it though. I suppose it does sort of fit in with Celiac Disease also to an extent.

-Jessica :rolleyes:

gZimmiZ Rookie

Thank you for sharing the story. My husband was diagnosed this past May, 2004. After only one visit to our G.P., he saw a Gut Doc who did a biopsy, within a week we had the diagnoses. We know how fortunate he is. We had our college age kids tested, one positive, one negative. The positive almost 19 year old will have an endoscopy within a few days. I have been studying hard since May to feed my husband, he appreciates all of my efforts. But since getting the phone call yesterday about my child I can hardly stop tearing up. I believe that God is in control of our lives, I am thankful that this is a life changing disease and not a life threatening one, or at least it is one we have control over. It's just so darn hard to imagine life at college in the cafe, spontaneous trips out at midnight for a snack and dorm cooking when the R.A. is gone. Your story stopped me in my tracks, at least for a moment I will admit. God is Good All The Time and All The Time, God is Good!

Melody Newbie

Thanks so much for sharing the story. :)

gZimmiZ- I was Dx as an 18 year old freshman in college and it's a big adjustment but my 'dining services' dept. was very helpful and midnight snack run can still include french fries :) I've found some ways around diet restrictions and my friends have been very helpful. They know what places I will be able to eat at and occasionally pitch in with cooking. They even made me a gluten-free birthday cake! Hang in there!

gf4life Enthusiast

I like the story, I've read it before somewhere when I was looking into what was wrong with my son (other than gluten intolerance, because he has many health issues), and I find it inspiring.

But putting it into perspective, we have it easier than parents of children who are permanently disabled (either mentally, emotionally or physically), because we can leave "Holland" and can still visit "Italy", we just have to bring along our own food!! :D

God bless,

Mariann

wildones Apprentice

I have seen the poem in a lot of places, when doing research for my son's medical problems and from friends. I like the poem, but agree on it not really 'fitting' for kids 'just with celiac'. My son has some major medical problems and so celiac disease doesn't seem like a big deal at all to me compared to his other issues. Just my perspective, it is helpful to read that there is a silver lining to every cloud.

flagbabyds Collaborator

That's a really cool poem! Thanks for sharing it!


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gZimmiZ Rookie

I feel much more encouraged after reading the posts even though my 19 year olds Biopsy is positive for Celiac. Determined and facing life with a smile is the attitude I see in my kiddo. The older sibling called, told me, "I wish it was me instead", How sweet! I know things could be much worse for my child, I just needed to vent to someone who understands. Thanks for listening. Holland IS beautiful isn't it! Looking forward to Italy too!

  • 1 month later...
LeeV Apprentice

That's a lovely poem, thanks for sharing it. I know how you feel and then some. My daughter was diagnosed with celiac disease two months ago but she also suffers from 18q deletion syndrome, diabetes and hypothyroidism. It's a challenge every day but we make the most of it that we can. She's our very special child and life is quite a journey with her in our lives!

Lee

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      Usually when I digest gluten or wheat I have a 4 hour window before reacting.  If it is immediate it may be an intollerence to another food.  Dairy, Frutose, and bacteria (SIBO) will react with many of the celiac disease symtoms.Has your Doctor ran a  Fructose test which is measuring your Fruit Sugar?  A Hydrogen Beath Test which checks your intestinal bacteria and Dairy?After my biopsy and blood work, these (3) tests were also ran, along with allergy tests, which allery test was sent out of State.  It was a mouth swab. How fast you heal depends on the diet you are following… The following are my personal recommendations to healing. I talk to many newly diagnosed people who start the gluten-free diet with pasta, breads, snacks, and pizza. After a month or so, they do not know why they don’t feel any better and still are sick with their original symptoms: They worry the diet is not working for them. 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I use Calm because my body doesn’t absorb Magnesium and I only need to take once in evening.                                                    No dairy of any kind (milk, cheese, yogurt, No breads, No past,  No oats, No pizza, No gluten-free beer, No snacks like cake, biscuits, pies, donuts.                                                                                                Many dietitians will tell you to follow a gluten free diet but you have to heal first. Don’t misunderstand me, dietitians are our friends and help us.                                                                                              10% of people with gluten-free will be intolerant to dairy                                                                                  10% can not tolerate oats                                                                                                                     After the six weeks, you can start to add these foods back into your diet. 1 new food every 4 days; this way you know if you react to this food.                                                                                                  Oats shouldn’t be tried for 1 year after being diagnosed; then start with 1/3 of a cup. Only gluten-free Oats are acceptable.                                                                                                                                              You should have results within 3 days of following a correct healing diet. Bloating should be leaving, migraines should be gone. Might take bowels a little longer to respond. If you start with 5 times a day on the Citrucel and cut back as your bowels return to normal; then use 1 Tbsp. daily. 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I talk to many newly diagnosed people who start the gluten-free diet with pasta, breads, snacks, and pizza. After a month or so, they do not know why they don’t feel any better and still are sick with their original symptoms: They worry the diet is not working for them. For some there may be other factors involved, but most just aren’t letting their body heal properly. I blame the internet, and misinformation it contains. People want a quick fix, not realizing this is a life long disease. They need a good support group, with people who have been through this and knows what works! This is what I have found will work for you. First 6 weeks should be: lean meat (beef, pork, chicken, turkey, salmon, sardines, buffalo, deer) fresh vegetables (steamed or roasted with a little Olive Oil) with 2 cups per day being raw (5 servings; a serving is 1/2 cup) fresh fruit (3 servings; include strawberries, blackberries and blueberries daily) a hand full of almonds daily (pecans and walnuts can be substituted) brown rice lentils Citrucel daily (or the equivalent) Good source of fiber. No dairy of any kind (milk, cheese, yogurt) No breads No pasta No oats No pizza No gluten-free beer No snacks like cake, biscuits, pies, donuts. Many dietitians will tell you to follow a gluten free diet but you have to heal first. Don’t misunderstand me, dietitians are our friends and help us. 10% of people with gluten-free will be intolerant to dairy 10% can not tolerate oats After the six weeks, you can start to add these foods back into your diet. 1 new food every 4 days; this way you know if you react to this food. Oats shouldn’t be tried for 1 year after being diagnosed; then start with 1/3 of a cup. Only gluten-free Oats are acceptable. You should have results within 3 days of following a correct healing diet. Bloating should be leaving, migraines should be gone. Might take bowels a little longer to respond. If you start with 5 times a day on the Citrucel and cut back as your bowels return to normal; then use 1 Tbsp. daily. This works if you have constipation or diarrhea. Meanwhile make sure you have had a Dexa test (bone density) and a blood test to check your vitamin and mineral levels: Zinc, D,K,B,C and iron levels. Don't take supplements while healing as your body is not accepting them and they will flush through your body. Have you had a breath test for Dairy, Fructose, and bacteria overgrowth? Should have done when first diagnosed. Remember to have a tTg IgA blood test repeated at 6 months then every year after, with another scope done in 3 years. Only way to know if you are healed. I don’t have all the answers; we are learning everyday new ways of doing things, but this is a start! Remember to have a tTg IgA EMA blood test repeated at 6 months then every year after 
    • Wheatwacked
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    • Rogol72
      I cut out the rice because it was affecting my stomach at the time ... not necessarily dermatitis herpetiformis. It was Tilda Basmati Rice, sometimes wholegrain rice. I was willing to do whatever it took to heal. Too much fiber also disagrees with me as I have UC.
    • trents
      But you didn't answer my question. When you consume gluten, is there an identifiable reaction within a short period of time, say a few hours?
    • Scott Adams
      You can still have celiac disease with negative blood test results, although it's not very common:  Clinical and genetic profile of patients with seronegative coeliac disease: the natural history and response to gluten-free diet: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5606118/  Seronegative Celiac Disease - A Challenging Case: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9441776/  Enteropathies with villous atrophy but negative coeliac serology in adults: current issues: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34764141/   
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