I Glutened Myself...on Purpose!

[flxmanning]

Okay, so it all started 2 days ago when at school (culinary school), my teacher asked me to cook a miso-marinated halibut for dinner. It smelt so good and I love miso, I just couldn't resist. I had some. After that I felt so sick. I went to bed feeling sick. I woke up still feeling sick the next day. After that I was ravenous. I figured,"hmmm, I feel sick already, so I don't need to worry about being sick...I'm there already." I wanted one last shabang. On last gluten-filled day. The whole day I didn't care. I went on to have veggie ground round for lunch...oh how I missed my veggie meats...ice cream later on that night with rice krispies...yeah, I missed those too. Oh yeah, BTW, I'm lactose intolerant too.

I know what you must be thinking...why on earth would this girl do this to herself? Why would she purposely make herself sick? I don't know! I've only been on the gluten-free diet for 2 weeks and I guess I just thought it would be too much, reading lables all the time, making everything from scratch, etc. I've been drinking water and trying to flush everything out of my system because now I remember that horrible feeling I had constantly before finding out about my celiac disease and I want to go back to those wonderful 2 weeks of feeling great, but I honestly think that I experienced "mind fog" that I've heard about. I just didn't care, I wanted all those things that I can't have anymore. I had my last shabang and, well, it sucked. I still feel so sick.

Please tell me that there's someone else out there whose done this before. Someone who just thought the whole thing was too much to take on and, well, made themselves sick with the consequences.

[queenofhearts]

Don't feel bad. Many of us have wavered at first. Remember, there is an addictive quality to gluten, & it's hard to shake an addiction! You'll get past this stage & rejoice in your new health, & you'll no longer be tempted.

One thing that helps me when I long for really good artisanal bread (the thing I miss most) is reading the thread about all the great things about being gluten-free. I'll see if I can track it down.

By the way, there are gluten-free rice krispies out there, called Erewhon crispy brown rice cereal I think. So you can still have that one!

Leah

Here's that thread:

Open Original Shared Link

[Gluten Slayer]

I'm ready to join ya. I want pizza, a few beers and maybe a cheezeburger and some cake and cookies. It's only been a week for me, I don't think I can do this.

[queenofhearts]

Yes you can! Go get a copy of Bette Hagman's Gluten Free Gourmet & make some pizza. Buy some New Grist beer. You can have the best of both worlds!

Leah

[2kids4me]

You are normal , normal , normal!

The toughest time for both my kids was the first month and then occasional cravings and days where they wish they could eat a regular doughnut.

My daughter snuck a sandwich at a church lunch and was sick for a couple of days - She cried when she told me what she had done, just hugged her and helped her through the icky days that followed. She never felt the desire to do it again, she still misses some gluten food but said it wasnt worth it to feel so crappy.

The longer you are on it , the easier it will be to stick to it - but it will never be "carefree".

For my kids, when they have days like you describe - I make fun platters of their favorite foods, some is "junk" and some is good for you......

strawberries, banana, chips and dip, veggies, corn chips with melted cheese and salsa, popcorn, Thai noodles, gluten-free spagetti with meatballs, chicken and mashed potatoes, ...stuff like that. I also keep gluten-free choc cupcakes and gluten-free gingersnaps in the freezer too - emergency comfort food!

Make a list of favorite comfort foods that are gluten-free (and lactose free in your case )

Have them on hand and dive in.

Hope you feel better soon

[elonwy]

When I was four months gluten-free, I went home for Christmas to see my mom. I'm from Hawaii, and everything there is made with soy sauce. I was good for a week, and then I went by the local store in the Village my mom lives near. The same old Japanese lady has been making musubi there since I was a kid. Musubi is a type of square sushi, often served warm, with cooked hot meat in the middle, usually teryaki chicken or spam. Everyday after school the bus would drop me off at this store and I would go in and have a musubi and sometimes some Manapua (a type of Bao). I can't eat either of these anymore. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't quite buy the Manapua, since its a big floury sticky bun, but I bought three musubi and went back out to the car and gorged myself. I was sick in minutes. I feld horrid for the rest of the day. Thats the first and last time I ever cheated, but I couldn't help myself, the emotional attachment to that food was too great.

I've since learned how to make my own Musubi at home using gluten-free soy sauce. I haven't been able to recreate Bao or Manapua or any Dim Sum, really, but I'm going to figure it out eventually.

Beware the "we'll I'm already sick it doesn't matter". I completely understand the logic, but every successive gluten ingestion extends the time you feel sick that much more, so it turns into a vicious cycle.

It can be hard to let go of your old food habits, but I have found replacements for pretty much everything I loved dearly except Dim Sum, and most of them are more healthy to boot. Get yourself some gluten free treats (Some Donuts from Kinnikinnick? YUM) and have them handy to reward yourself instead of gluten food. I now crave gluten-free goodies instead of old food.

If I get tempted to cheat ( oh just a bite of that dish), or not pay attention as closely, I think about all the stuff that I want to do in the next few days and ask myself "Do I want to get all that done and have fun with my friends or do I want to lie in bed not being able to get too far from the bathroom" and that just clears up that confusion.

Go to your local Whole Foods or Wild Oats or TJ's and explore whats gluten-free, find stuff that looks good and have fun with it. There is a post on this board about good and bad gluten-free food, cause buying the wrong thing can have worse results.

Kinnikinnick is good I love all their stuff and they provide most of my "treats" like bagels, english muffins and donuts. Most of thier stuff is Casien free too. Whole foods bakery has some really yummy things, cookies and muffins, and thier pizza crust is really good. There is gluten-free miso too, that isn't hard to find. If you live alone, find some friend or a food bank or something like that and pack up all your gluten food and donate it, get it out of the house. If you live with someone, I would suggest segregation in the kitchen. I bought a bunch of cute stickers and made up a system for whose food was whos, and I got to play with stickers.

I'm not lecturing, I'm just remembering how hard it was, and trying to offer ways to cope. Once you get the hang of it, theres a sense of pride and happiness, not to mention how great it is to feel better for days and weeks on end.

Good luck, be strong. Its worth it.

Elonwy

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Okay, so it all started 2 days ago when at school (culinary school), my teacher asked me to cook a miso-marinated halibut for dinner. It smelt so good and I love miso, I just couldn't resist.

I just checked my miso--it's Hikari Miso and the ingredients are water, soybeans, rice, salt, sake lees. I thought it was gluten-free--no wheat, no barley. I haven't reacted to it (yet)--does it have gluten?

[RKB-MD]

I've been diagnosed for 36 years and I will admit that until about 6 years ago I wasn't that "clean" with my diet. It's a difficult life to live, and the hardest part is the "suprise" things that get you.

Whatever you do, do NOT intentially eat gluten containing products.

Pretend that you are just quitting something, like cigarettes. Reward yourself (as if not spending hours in the bathroom with an aching butt isn't reward enough!) for days, weeks, months of "denying" yourself those foods you crave, but are slowly killing you. Enjoy finding replacements. Some will taste like crap, some will be good. Revel in abusing waiters who screw things up (I sure do!).

Enjoy your new, healthy life!

Fiddle-Faddle: Soy sauce brewed over rice with no wheat/barley is gluten free! Enjoy!

[Rikki Tikki]

It's ok, many of us have been thee. Initally I cheated sometimes because it was so hard to give all "the good food" I have to admit to even cheating sometimes now, well, maybe once in the last year, but it seems the body get's so used to being gluten-free then you get really sick.

It will pass, just accept that you cheated and try not to again. We are here for you.

[skoki-mom]

Okay, so it all started 2 days ago when at school (culinary school), my teacher asked me to cook a miso-marinated halibut for dinner. It smelt so good and I love miso, I just couldn't resist. I had some. After that I felt so sick. I went to bed feeling sick. I woke up still feeling sick the next day. After that I was ravenous. I figured,"hmmm, I feel sick already, so I don't need to worry about being sick...I'm there already." I wanted one last shabang. On last gluten-filled day. The whole day I didn't care. I went on to have veggie ground round for lunch...oh how I missed my veggie meats...ice cream later on that night with rice krispies...yeah, I missed those too. Oh yeah, BTW, I'm lactose intolerant too.

I know what you must be thinking...why on earth would this girl do this to herself? Why would she purposely make herself sick? I don't know! I've only been on the gluten-free diet for 2 weeks and I guess I just thought it would be too much, reading lables all the time, making everything from scratch, etc. I've been drinking water and trying to flush everything out of my system because now I remember that horrible feeling I had constantly before finding out about my celiac disease and I want to go back to those wonderful 2 weeks of feeling great, but I honestly think that I experienced "mind fog" that I've heard about. I just didn't care, I wanted all those things that I can't have anymore. I had my last shabang and, well, it sucked. I still feel so sick.

Please tell me that there's someone else out there whose done this before. Someone who just thought the whole thing was too much to take on and, well, made themselves sick with the consequences.

I fantasize about doing what you just did. So far I haven't caved, but I wonder if I can seriously make it through the next 50 years or so without doing it just once. Like you, if I had toast or cereal or something for breakfast I'd probably figure I'd already blown it and head to the nearest Chinese buffet. So, I understand the mentality behind it and I don't think you are weak or crazy, I just think you are normal and I hope you feel are feeling better soon. Don't be too hard on yourself, this is not an easy lifestyle. I did have a quick cheat once (not a binge like you describe), I ate Santa's cookie on Christmas Eve. I was kinda annoyed actually that I had ZERO reaction to it. It makes it hard when you don't even feel sick. I felt like I deserved to be sick for being weak, but hey, I'm only human too.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Fiddle-Faddle: Soy sauce brewed over rice with no wheat/barley is gluten free! Enjoy!

Thanks, RKB_MD!

I've tried La Choy and a tamari that I found at Whole Paycheck (I mean Whole Foods), but neither of them come close to what I think of as "real" soy sauce (the stuff I used to buy at the Asian grocery). I use La Choy (grudgingly), and add a little sesame oil and a little molasses, but I still miss my real soy sauce!

[elonwy]

Have you tried KAri-Out? It comes in individual packets like ketchup. I bought a 500-pack box from the supplier in White Plains, because i like it best, and always like to have soy sauce in my purse cause I eat alot of sushi. Thats the smallest order you can make with them. I think there is a place online you can buy the individual packets, but if you'd like to try it let me know I could send you a couple packets. I've got plenty

Elonwy

[eleep]

It must be particularly tough when you're in cooking school and have to deal with gluten-containing foods on a regular basis. I know that I didn't really feel like I "missed" pizza until my roommate ordered take-in pizza from the best place in town! If that stuff were in front of me all the time, I might be tempted to cheat too!

eleep

[flxmanning]

Well, the good news is I learned my lesson. I don't know if it's because I was gluten free before having that stuff or what, but I honestly cannot remember a time in my life that I've ever been that sick. It was so horrible, my stomach was HUGE, I kept vomiting and having D, my mind was in a million places at once, and I was so dizzy all I could do was lay there and close my eyes.

I guess the reason I did it was because of my doctor's appointment on Thursday (the day it all started) when the evil woman basically told me it was all in my head. I started second guessing myself since I didn't get a final diagnosis from the doctor. I had to just make sure that I did, in fact, have an allergy to that stuff. I had to see for myself and now I know.

It is really hard with school and all, but I only have 7 weeks left and since I don't want to spend those weeks as sick as I was these last couple of nights I'm going to stay gluten-free no matter how tempted I might be.

Thanks so much for the encouragement and the reassurance that I'm not crazy:)