Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Gluten-free Dating.

JenKuz

By JenKuz
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

JenKuz Explorer
JenKuz
Posted

I'm seeing someone new; we've gone out a couple times and I've eaten normally. Now I'm going gluten-free. I would just order a salad and leave it at that, except that the guy has very sweetly offered me tastes of his dishes every time we've gone out. I'm worried about the next dinner. I'm not diagnosed, and I can't honestly say I'll be super sick if I eat any. I don't really know that yet; this is experimental. I don't want to come off as high-maintenance. And I kind of don't want to confess to being such an inconvenient girlfriend *quite* yet.

Any advice?

Thanks so much,

Jen

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


MySuicidalTurtle Enthusiast
MySuicidalTurtle
Posted

Diets due to health shouldn't fall under high maintenance. Just be honest with him and all- that's what I'd do.

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
Diets due to health shouldn't fall under high maintenance. Just be honest with him and all- that's what I'd do.

I agree, just explain that you've had some mystery health problems and think this might help. That way if you figure out in the end that gluten is not a problem and go back to eating it, it won't seem weird.

bluejeangirl Contributor
bluejeangirl
Posted
I'm seeing someone new; we've gone out a couple times and I've eaten normally. Now I'm going gluten-free. I would just order a salad and leave it at that, except that the guy has very sweetly offered me tastes of his dishes every time we've gone out. I'm worried about the next dinner. I'm not diagnosed, and I can't honestly say I'll be super sick if I eat any. I don't really know that yet; this is experimental. I don't want to come off as high-maintenance. And I kind of don't want to confess to being such an inconvenient girlfriend *quite* yet.

Any advice?

Thanks so much,

Jen

When I read your post what came across to me first was YOU have to be your own best friend. There might be the exception but people subtly take their cues from the way you handle it. See yourself as person who is sick and needs the medication of a certain diet. Don't apologize or be embarrassed in anyway. I think you deserve the best and no one should stand in the way of that.

Thats my advice anyway but I haven't been in this situation maybe someone else has.

Best wishes,

Gail

Ashley Enthusiast
Ashley
Posted

All righty, I would tell him. One- This is a lifelong condition(if you are Dxed or have an introlrance to gluten). It ain't going away, so, might as well get it out of the way now by telling him that this could be possible. Two- I think you'd feel a bit more comfortable if you did, that way, you wouldn't be offered food that ya can't eat.

You're still in the process of discovering. It's trial-and-error. Gotta do what's best for your health, always. I've had no problems out of my boyfriend and I'm very happy that I told him.

Hope all goes well :)

-Ash

Guest Norah022
Guest Norah022
Posted

Just be honest. If they can't handle that you have chosen this diet for your health reasons or if diagnosed that you have to go gluten free to protect your body then they are obviously not the guy for you.

The first guy I started dating after going gluten-free while not having celiac's disease has many stomach problems so he understands selective eating and also understands when i feel under the weather.

Everytime we go to the grocery store he always tries to find something gluten free for me to eat and asks questions about what I can and cannot eat.

tracey* Rookie
tracey*
Posted

For me, it would be a judgement on whether you want to go into the whole deal (first few dates, maybe not?). I would probably just say 'oh no thanks, I have bad food allergies so I better not risk it' and hope he didn't go nuts on me. If he did, well that's his problem really.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


Aerin328 Apprentice
Aerin328
Posted

About a year ago I began dating a charming woman who had what I considered at the time to be "overly complicated" dietary requirements (due to Celiac's). 6 months ago, however, I was struck down full blast by Celiac's disease myself! We are now still together and planning for a gluten free future. I know our case is rare (we feel VERY blessed to have found mutual celiacs!), but I think it's really important to share this stuff up front and explain how important it is to you, because it is something that very tangibly affects you and is important to you. Being gluten-free is a significant commitment. At the same time however, I wouldn't expect he'll fully understand. (I thought I was "understanding" but there is NO way I could've grasped the breadth and importance of this issue without being smitten down with it myself.)

Don't worry about it being complicated or "high maintenance" or whatever... I'm sure he'll see beyond it, and if it is an important thing to you then he should know anyway. Good luck!

Christian

olalisa Contributor
olalisa
Posted

I agree with what everyone has said here. That said, I do want to ask if you're going to try to get diagnosed. The reason I ask is twofold. First, the diet is quite tedious, and, for me, easier to fully commit to knowing that it isn't a "choice" but a medical necessity. Second, you may feel less self-conscious about sharing if you can "back up" what you're saying with a diagnosis. Does that make sense? I hope it doesn't sound silly. For me, the appearance of being "high maintainence" is an issue (perhaps since maybe I was a little high maintainence even before :rolleyes: ) and it helps to REALLY KNOW that this "kooky" diet isn't a choice. Just food for thought (gluten-free food, of course!)

Welcome to the board :)

eKatherine Apprentice
eKatherine
Posted

I sometimes date a doctor who is diabetic. Even if he forgets and offers me some of his food, he understands about dietary restrictions.

The only problem is that when we go out, sometimes a place won't have anything for me to eat but salad. Last time we went out to lunch to a famous restaurant in his town, and everything either had gluten or dairy in it but the salad, even the rice had cream in it! I didn't want to cause a fuss, and it was a nice salad, but not enough calories, and I almost got sick afterwards because it was such a hot day. Next time I'll see if he can call ahead.

gfp Enthusiast
gfp
Posted

My advice is start the gluten-free thing from DAY ONE.....

Most people who meeet someone new with a dietry problem will just accept it.... (or not and you don't want to be dealing with the or nots anyway)

but when people suddenly go gluten-free then people who previously knew you have a hard time accepting "but you used to....." etc.

So my advice.. start today.... tell him its making you sick and you covered it up but from now on its gluten-free....

JenKuz Explorer
JenKuz
Posted
  • Author

Thanks for the good advice, guys.

I have a biopsy scheduled for the end of October. I have debated going off gluten so long before the procedure; I finally decided, I feel like crap, I know it will help, and the biopsy may well return a false negative anyway, so I should be killing myself for the next month. Meanwhile, I've ordered the enterolab panel and am waiting for it to arrive. While I suspect that his tests may return some false positives now and then, (because of unknown cross-reactivity of the assay substrate with proteins in the stool), they're still way better than the blood tests being offered. So I consider his tests + improvement with diet to be compelling enough evidence for a gluten-free life, whether the biopsy comes back negative or positive.

If, in two weeks, the enterolab tests come back negative, it will mean two things: one, gluten ain't the problem; two, something else is. Now, he's a very understanding guy--if I thought it would be a problem for him, I wouldn't be getting involved, but I still want to wait until I know more before I divulge all this complex logic and differential diagnoses and blah blah blah.

StrongerToday Enthusiast
StrongerToday
Posted

I'm single and dating... or trying to ;) the last guy I went out with ended up having a peanut allergy, so he couldn't have been more understanding. I've met a new guy (and we haven't gone out yet) but we were joking about eating something and he said he'd bring me one, but he used whole wheat flour so it just naturally turned into a "can't have that" conversation. It shouldn't be a big deal for him, if I don't make it a big deal for myself.

olalisa Contributor
olalisa
Posted
My advice is start the gluten-free thing from DAY ONE.....

Most people who meeet someone new with a dietry problem will just accept it.... (or not and you don't want to be dealing with the or nots anyway)

but when people suddenly go gluten-free then people who previously knew you have a hard time accepting "but you used to....." etc.

So my advice.. start today.... tell him its making you sick and you covered it up but from now on its gluten-free....

EXCELLENT advice!

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,855
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Tara M
    Newest Member
    Tara M
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • cristiana
      Ibuprofen

      By cristiana · Posted

      @Colleen H   I am just curious,  when you were tested for coeliac disease, did the doctors find out if you had any deficiencies? Sometimes muscle pain can be caused by certain deficiencies, for example, magnesium, vitamin D, calcium, and potassium.   Might be worth looking into having some more tests.  Pins and needles can be neuropathy, again caused by deficiencies, such as iron and B12,  which can be reversed if these deficiencies are addressed. In the UK where I live we are usually only tested for iron, B12 and vitamin D deficiencies at diagnosis.   I was very iron anemic and supplementation made a big difference.  B12 was low normal, but in other countries the UK's low normal would be considered a deficiency.  My vitamin D was low normal, and I've been supplementing ever since (when I remember to take it!) My pins and needles definitely started to improve when my known deficiencies were addressed.  My nutritionist also gave me a broad spectrum supplement which really helped, because I suspect I wasn't just deficient in what I mention above but in many other vitamins and minerals.  But a word of warning, don't take iron unless blood tests reveal you actually need it, and if you are taking it your levels must be regularly monitored because too much can make you ill.  (And if you are currently taking iron, that might actually be making your stomach sore - it did mine, so my GP changed my iron supplementation to a gentler form, ferrous gluconate). Lastly, have you been trying to take anything to lessen the pain in your gut?  I get a sore stomach periodically, usually when I've had too much rich food, or when I have had to take an aspirin or certain antibiotics, or after glutening.  When this happens, I take for just a few days a small daily dose of OTC omeprazole.  I also follow a reflux or gastritis diet. There are lots online but the common denominators to these diets is you need to cut out caffeine, alcohol, rich, spicy, acidic food etc and eat small regularly spaced meals.   When I get a sore stomach, I also find it helpful to drink lots of water.  I also find hot water with a few slices of ginger very soothing to sip, or camomile tea.  A wedge pillow at night is good for reflux. Also,  best not to eat a meal 2-3 hours before going to bed. If the stomach pain is getting worse, though, it would be wise to see the doctor again. I hope some of this helps. Cristiana    
    • Me,Sue
      Knowing what to do when feeling unwell.

      By Me,Sue · Posted

      I was diagnosed with coeliac disease a couple of years ago [ish]. I love my food and a variety of food, so it's been hard, as it is with everyone. I try and ensure everything I eat doesn't contain gluten, but occasionally I think something must have got through that has gluten in. Mainly I know because I have to dash to the loo, but recently I have noticed that I feel nauseous after possibly being glutened. I think the thing that I have got better at is knowing what to do when I feel wiped out after a gluten 'episode'. I drink loads of water, and have just started drinking peppermint tea. I also have rehydration powders to drink. I don't feel like eating much, but eventually feel like I need to eat. Gluten free flapjacks, or gluten free cereal, or a small gluten free kids meal are my go to. I am retired, so luckily I can rest, sometimes even going to bed when nothing else works. So I feel that I am getting better at knowing how to try and get back on track. I am also trying to stick to a simpler menu and eat mostly at home so that I can be more confident about what I am eating. THANKS TO THOSE WHO REPLIED ABOUT THE NAUSEA .
    • Francis M
      The Happy Tart review

      By Francis M · Posted

      Thanks. Since the back and forth and promises of review and general stalling went on for more than six months, the credit company will no longer investigate. They have a cutoff of maybe six months.
    • Scott Adams
      The Happy Tart review

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      Is this the same restaurant? https://www.facebook.com/TheHappyTartFallsChurch/ Is it too late to take this up with your credit card company? Normally you have a few months to do a chargeback with them. It seems very odd that they are taking this approach with someone who is likely to be a regular customer--not a good business-minded way of handling things!
    • Scott Adams
      Stomach burning and neuropathy

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      Many people with celiac disease, especially those who are in the 0-2 year range of their recovery, have additional food intolerance issues which could be temporary. To figure this out you may need to keep a food diary and do an elimination diet over a few months. Some common food intolerance issues are dairy/casein, eggs, corn, oats, and soy. The good news is that after your gut heals (for most people who are 100% gluten-free this will take several months to two years) you may be able to slowly add some these items back into your diet after the damaged villi heal. This article may be helpful: The most common nutrient deficiencies associated with celiac disease that may lead to testing for the condition include iron, vitamin D, folate (vitamin B9), vitamin B12, calcium, zinc, and magnesium.  Unfortunately many doctors, including my own doctor at the time, don't do extensive follow up testing for a broad range of nutrient deficiencies, nor recommend that those just diagnosed with celiac disease take a broad spectrum vitamin/mineral supplement, which would greatly benefit most, if not all, newly diagnosed celiacs. Because of this it took me decades to overcome a few long-standing issues I had that were associated with gluten ataxia, for example numbness and tingling in my feet, and muscle knots--especially in my shoulders an neck. Only long term extensive supplementation has helped me to resolve these issues.        
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.