Guys (a Question For Girls)

[num1habsfan]

Hey fellow girls. I know I'm not a teen anymore, but I was when I got Celiac and I'm still struggling w/this. Not w/the disease/diet itself, but w/guys. Theres been a few guys who seem to show interest in me and would love to meet me in person, but who'd be afraid to date me (especially if it comes to brushing their teeth!!).

How do you actually meet guys and convince them you could still have a relationship???

I know some of you wait until later on to tell about the teeth brushing and all the other little rules we need them to follow, but I'm a believer is telling it all right from the beginning. So every guy I speak of already knows the details.

I'm just trying to prepare for when I live in an actual city where there will be more males . And I'd also like to get the ones who I know ARE interested to see I'd be worth the effort, I guess.

~ Lisa ~

[CarlaB]

Guys don't want too much information, too soon. Just wait until it's applicable to tell them ... like when you're ordering dinner ... "Maybe you don't want to eat gluten either ... I can't have any gluten at all, even yours, but then again, a toothbrush will work wonders."

Keep it light. If you make it a big deal, he'll think it's too much to deal with. Let it unfold naturally.

[num1habsfan]

Guys don't want too much information, too soon. Just wait until it's applicable to tell them ... like when you're ordering dinner ... "Maybe you don't want to eat gluten either ... I can't have any gluten at all, even yours, but then again, a toothbrush will work wonders."

Keep it light. If you make it a big deal, he'll think it's too much to deal with. Let it unfold naturally.

Then I guess I've screwed up with every guy . I dont go into detail as in telling them what will happen if I eat gluten, that would be enough to freak anyone out . I just explain what I have, the Celiac and asthma. (I guess it's a fear of mine seeing how I had a situation with one creepy guy who didn't bother caring if I had anything to eat or what he ate in front of me and who nearly made me have an asthma attack!)...the only part they dont like is the toothbrush rule!!

~ Lisa ~

[CarlaB]

Lisa, you didn't screw up. Do any of these guys seem interested? If a guy's not interested in the beginning, he generally won't be interested later, he's either attracted or he's not ... if he is interested in the beginning, telling him he'll have to brush to kiss you certainly won't be enough to change his mind.

But, if you tell him too soon, he won't feel he needs to pursue you. Let him chase you for a bit before you break the news.

[blueeyedmanda]

Guys are complicated They do better with small bits of information at a time. If they seem interested though it will probably not matter to them, they will like you for who you are

[CarlaB]

Lisa, after I posted, I thought of this ... you need to have confidence in yourself. You need to think you are a desirable young woman! Everyone has their issues, yours is easy ... so he has to brush his teeth, big deal.

Think of yourself as "hot" and desirable and guys will think of you that way, too.

I caught my hubby "checking out" someone a few weeks ago. She was overweight ... I laughed at him and he answered that sexy is an attitude and she had it. Guys look past a lot for a woman who knows they're worth it. Get that attitude and you'll have no trouble getting the guy. Just try it, what have you got to lose?

[tom]

Sorry gals, but the gender-verifying bouncer must've been looking the other way.

If I may toss in a guy's perspective - once we know we want to kiss a girl, we REALLY want to kiss her.

I think a potentially good way to deal w/ this problem is to not mention it at all until a kiss is imminent.

Strange as it seems, even waiting as late as the lean-in may work best. (As long as a sink or whatever for brushing isn't too far)

At that point, the engine's revved up enough we'd often be willing to do a lot more than just brush our teeth to get 1st lip-to-lip contact!!

Of course, celiac would've already come up. So, in backing away from the lean-in, something like "remember that stupid disease? I can't kiss you w/out being certain it won't make me sick".

Whip out a cheapie toothbrush from your purse, (in a baggie in there maybe? I've seen 4/$1 at a dollar store) and I guaranTEE he'll brush harder and more thoroughly than ever!!!!

I seriously cannot imagine this ever failing. And I have quite an imagination!!

Even if you're outdoors w/ no sink around, all you really need is a bottle of water, right?

The guy is WAY too revved up in anticipation to not comply w/ something as simple as a brushing!!

I predict no shortage of smooching in Lisa's future.

[Edit:

P.S. WTH! I didn't even realize I have the same problem!! After being mostly house-bound for years I'm back out there, but all I'd wondered about was how I can possibly handle asking some fantabulous woman whether her lipstick is gluten-free!!!

Now I've got to worry about teeth too??

This thread's topic is truly not at all limited to just females or teens.

This old guy has same problem.

Grrrrr that a woman I met yesterday has a boyfriend. She wasn't wearing lipstick or even any makeup at all as far as I could tell.

<must kill bf> ]

[x1x-Stargirl-x1x]

well... i guess i can't really say much to help you, but everything sure helped me i guess.

i have serious guy problems. everyone says i'm hot, but on top of that i'm weird and have celiac and hallucinations (not constantly!)

one question for all of you..... everytime i tell somone i have it they start making fun of me, i'm only 13. do you have anysuggestions on how to tell them about it? i mean should i just tell them about it or wait until my realationship is stronger. there's this one guy i really like and i think he likes me and i don't know what to say to him.

.::STARGIRL::.

[melrobsings]

Lisa if he's not going to pay attention to your allergy, you don't want him anyway! Period!

[lovegrov]

"Guys are complicated."

It's safe to say that most guys think the same about gals.

richard

[mommyagain]

well... i guess i can't really say much to help you, but everything sure helped me i guess.

i have serious guy problems. everyone says i'm hot, but on top of that i'm weird and have celiac and hallucinations (not constantly!)

one question for all of you..... everytime i tell somone i have it they start making fun of me, i'm only 13. do you have anysuggestions on how to tell them about it? i mean should i just tell them about it or wait until my realationship is stronger. there's this one guy i really like and i think he likes me and i don't know what to say to him.

.::STARGIRL::.

Like tom said, don't mention it until you absolutely HAVE to. Like, if a guy invites you out for pizza, just say "Sorry, I'm allergic to anything with wheat, would you mind going to ____ instead?" Most teenage guys will at least understand allergies, but don't wanna deal with a "disease". Eventually you may find it necessary to explain the disease, but by then you'll have him wanting you so bad, he won't care.

As for the kissing, same deal. He leans in, you say "I really hate to do this, but I'm REALLY allergic to anything with wheat in it. Believe it or not, if you ate something that I'm allergic to, I can get sick from it. I'm having such a good time, I'd hate to ruin it by throwing up on your shoes or something!" Then whip out the cheapo toothbrush and gluten-free paste. Chances are, he'll brush, even if he thinks it's weird. Obviously, most people won't actually throw up from kissing someone, but it's easier (and quicker) to say that than to have to explain what might actually happen. And, depending on how you say it, you can both get a laugh out of it

Good luck girls, and be safe!

[Drollchick]

I'm having a rough time figuring out how to approach dating, too...

My food intolerances were only recently diagnosed, so it's definitely been an adjustment accepting dinner dates from guys.

I'm a super low maintenance, easy going chick...when I pour over a menu for 15 minutes and then go into a lengthy "no this, no that" routine with the server, I feel like a total ass!! A bit of a mood downer for me. Plus, I'll be paranoid that the kitchen let something contaminate my food.

Haven't given the whole kissing thing a thought, though...I may just let that slide, because everything else is hard enough as it is.

What I'm most worried about is finding a guy that will want to marry someone who's dietary restrictions will make home-cooking very limited...unless, of course, I find someone just like me...

[x1x-Stargirl-x1x]

Like tom said, don't mention it until you absolutely HAVE to. Like, if a guy invites you out for pizza, just say "Sorry, I'm allergic to anything with wheat, would you mind going to ____ instead?" Most teenage guys will at least understand allergies, but don't wanna deal with a "disease". Eventually you may find it necessary to explain the disease, but by then you'll have him wanting you so bad, he won't care.

As for the kissing, same deal. He leans in, you say "I really hate to do this, but I'm REALLY allergic to anything with wheat in it. Believe it or not, if you ate something that I'm allergic to, I can get sick from it. I'm having such a good time, I'd hate to ruin it by throwing up on your shoes or something!" Then whip out the cheapo toothbrush and gluten-free paste. Chances are, he'll brush, even if he thinks it's weird. Obviously, most people won't actually throw up from kissing someone, but it's easier (and quicker) to say that than to have to explain what might actually happen. And, depending on how you say it, you can both get a laugh out of it

Good luck girls, and be safe!

thanks!

[sallyterpsichore]

I'm having a rough time figuring out how to approach dating, too...

My food intolerances were only recently diagnosed, so it's definitely been an adjustment accepting dinner dates from guys.

I'm a super low maintenance, easy going chick...when I pour over a menu for 15 minutes and then go into a lengthy "no this, no that" routine with the server, I feel like a total ass!! A bit of a mood downer for me. Plus, I'll be paranoid that the kitchen let something contaminate my food.

Haven't given the whole kissing thing a thought, though...I may just let that slide, because everything else is hard enough as it is.

What I'm most worried about is finding a guy that will want to marry someone who's dietary restrictions will make home-cooking very limited...unless, of course, I find someone just like me...

It's funny, I was talking to my brother about this as he came to my city for the weekend, and he at first was shocked about the whole tooth brushing dilemma, but then covered it up by saying "At least it'll help you weed out the jerks"...which is true. Unfortunately, the non-jerks seem to be married. Do I have to have my cat brush his teeth before he licks me? Crap.

P.S. I'm also the same way...very low maintenance and I feel like I'm inconveniencing everyone. I'm assuming desperation for the social scene will eventually force me to stop worrying about it.

[MJS]

It's funny, I was talking to my brother about this as he came to my city for the weekend, and he at first was shocked about the whole tooth brushing dilemma, but then covered it up by saying "At least it'll help you weed out the jerks"...which is true. Unfortunately, the non-jerks seem to be married. Do I have to have my cat brush his teeth before he licks me? Crap.

P.S. I'm also the same way...very low maintenance and I feel like I'm inconveniencing everyone. I'm assuming desperation for the social scene will eventually force me to stop worrying about it.

yeah i feel really bead whenever we're eating out and the waiter has to go back and forth to the kitchen asking questions 50 times.

do people really ask guys to brush their teeth before kissing? i didn't know that that could make that much of a difference. my doctor has never mentioned it. (i'm glad though because discussing dating and kissing with him would be incredibly awkward)

is it a huge deal if i just let it slide?