Can I Vent?

[amybeth]

DH and I are trying to start a family. It's only been a few months since we started, and I realize this is normal, but I really really thought we were pregnant this month. So disappointed.

Sleeping patterns changed, eating habits changed, peeing all of the time, feeling tender, crazy hormones (breaking out) etc. etc. etc.

Right on target, though, started bleeding.

Although, that is different too - could be implantation bleeding, but literally on the day I would have gotten my period? Probably not.

Made the mistake of sharing with others that we were trying - and one person, in particular, asks me EVERY WEEK if I have any news! It's driving me crazy and I feel like a total failure. But she is just trying to be caring and kind. I realize my emotional reactions are not logical, but I can't seem to help them.

Two girl friends who started trying at the same time have already conceived, and it is extremely hard to be supportive of them. I feel so jealous! - Not a character flaw that I am proud of......Understsandably, it is EVERYTHING they talk about (as it should be - they are so excited), but spending time with them is OH SO HARD. Dinner with one couple tomorrow - I really cannot back out, but can't stomach the thought of going.

Don't think DH understands my disappointment - he is disappointed, too, but I tried to explain the waiting and hypersensitivity to my body - I realize he probably won't ever understand those things, but it's so frustrating. He's maintaining the "We'll keep at it" attitude which is great, and I know he's trying to be supportive and positive, but I'm SO upset I wish he'd show a twinge of disappointment, so I could feel more normal.

In the midst of changing Dr's -need to run some bloodwork to make sure levels are all ok, but can't get appt until mid-November, so that is frustrating too. Scared that I was so sick for 5 years or so that this may not happen for us......

Just had to get it all off my chest. Thanks for reading.

[blueeyedmanda]

(((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Amy, I understand where you are. John and I are getting married in 2 weeks and one thing that is on our minds is a family.

I am keeping you in my thoughts.

[amybeth]

Thank you!!!

We will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary in 2 weeks! (10/28). It's a beautiful time of year for a wedding. Congratulations!

I highly recommend a massage the week before your wedding. I was more relaxed than I thought possible!

[alamaz]

Hi Amy- I know how you are feeling. It took us a year to get pregnant and I swear everyday produced some one elses pregnancy that I had to hear about. I swore I'd never be "that woman" who felt jealous over every one elses good fortune but honestly, it's completely natural. It doesn't mean you are not happy for them, it just means that you want to experience that feeling too. After about 10 months of trying I went back to my doctor, who originally told me to give it 6 months to a year. She suggested the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor. I'm not sure if you are using the FAM method or anything but this little device is the best. The first month I used it, BAM! I'm now 13 weeks along. The problem the whole time was we were five days off on figuring out when I ovulated. 5 whole days! And by the fifth day my husband was burned out on having sex (it is possible believe or not) and he had no good "shots" left. I don't work for this company and I wish it was a little cheaper (about $200 on Amazon) but I swear, if we would have never used it, we'd still be trying. Plus, I never told my husband when it was time so there was no pressure on him to perform 25 days out of the month (insane but I think at one point we were doing the dance every day!).

As for the one person you told you were trying who won't stop asking for updates, I did the same thing and ended up telling her we put a hold on things for awhile while we figured some things out. She would still drop the "when you have kids" lines but she stopped asking how i was feeling, if I had any news to share etc. I'm sure they are just trying to be helpful when they always ask questions and for updates but it also puts stress on you.

Good luck and try to stay positive. Give yourself an hour to be P.O'ed and then move on. It'll happen soon!

Amy

[amybeth]

Thank you, alamaz, and congratulations!

I'm in a funk right now, but it will pass. It's just an emotional rollercoaster, as I'm sure you understand.

Perhaps a monitor - or more close tracking will help us out as well. I appreciate the suggestion - 5 whole days! That's crazy. We think we know our bodies so well..........

[MeJenn]

I went through the same thing. We tried last year and I miscarried. Exactly one month after that painful event, my sister announced her pregnancy. Talk about mixed emotions! It was so hard for me to be supportive when I was SO angry and jealous and sad. My mom is Deaf so she asked me to interpret the first obgyn appointment for my sister...needless to say, I was in there for a total of 3 minutes before I exited bawling. It took me a while to snap out of it, I think when she was seven months, I started to develop a healthier relationship with her. Its hard, I totally get it. One thing that helped me was focusing so much on getting healthy so I didn't have to go through it again...and yoga. Yoga always seems to help. Good luck sweetie and thank you for venting, you are not alone.

J

[melmak5]

My very close friend had three surgeries to reconstruct her colon and they told her it would be near impossible for her to conceive, because of scar tissue. I thought I was being supportive by asking "how are things going?" when she started trying.

She totally freaked out on me, yelled about how stress on her and her husband were decreasing the chances of them ever conceiving and that no one is allowed to talk about it anymore. (She was shouting, for sure).

In the end, she was actually pregnant, but very early on and totally worried about saying anything and the stress of a saying "yes" to later have to say "not anymore."

What I am getting at is, you have every right to say "NO MORE BABY TALK" and with vigor!

If they are your friends, they will understand.

My friends son will be 1 in a month!