My Poor Baby

[ptkds]

Recently I have noticed I have a problem with eggs. They make my stomach upset and give me diarrhea. This morning, my DH made our younger 2 dd's some scrambled eggs for breakfast. Our 2 yr old didn't seem too interested in them, but she still ate quite a bit of them. A little while later, she suddenly started crying and holding her tummy. She doesn't speak very well yet and she was trying to tell me that her tummy hurt and she had to poop. She got on my lap and put her head on my shoulder, then she vomited all over me and herself. She was so upset and just kept pointing to her tummy and saying "owie."

I hate that she keeps getting so sick from foods . I just wish my kids were healthy and I wish that I hadn't given them this horrible disease and now a food allergy. I felt so bad for her this morning.

How do you get over the guilt of passing such horrible things on to your wonderful little children? They just don't deserve this. I wish I could take their food problems away from them.

[Ridgewalker]

(((Hugs!)))

This is actually one of the few things I don't feel guilty over. Things like this are out of our hands. Try to let go of the things you can't control. I know it's easier said than done. But try. You can make yourself crazy worrying and second guessing yourself. But genetics is one thing that you simply have no control over.

Has she never had a reaction to eggs before? Is it possible that this was the beginning of a stomach bug? Tis the season. My whole family had the actual Norwalk virus around this time several years ago. It was hideous, the sickest I've ever been- definitely involved vomitting and diarrhea, usually simultaneously. Lucas was almost 2 yrs old at that point, I was pregnant, and to top it off- my husband was living 2 1/2 hours away finishing up his last semester of college. Ugh.

Anyway, hang in there- I'll be thinking about you!

[shan]

My son had that - vomiting and D from eggs, and was taken off that in addition to dairy soya and gluten! After 4 months of being off it, i just tried him on it and he was absolutely fine... Some allergists say, if your kid tests positive for an allergy, then keep them off it till they are five, it'll probably be a childhood allergy... Dunno if i would do that with a nutt allergy, but if it is just vomiting, then i would retry it in a while... Good luck!

Oh yeah, one more thing, i was feeling all guilty about giving my daughter celiac, even though i was negative, and all my drs said "just like you pass on your red hair, and you don't feel guilty that they are now redheads, so you shouldn't feel guilty about this - you won't do gene selection so stop eating yourself up!!"

I also felt guilty about the celiac, and now i feel guilty about how messy my house is! I guess i have to feel guilty about something

[dandelionmom]

(((hugs))) None of this is your fault. Blame genetics, your great grandparent, or whomever but don't blame yourself because you are obviously doing your best to keep your kids well.

I hate that Julia has this but she's fine with it.

[Juliebove]

I don't feel guilty that my daughter got food allergies from me. However... I didn't find out about MY food allergies until I learned of hers and my mom's! I also didn't learn that I had diabetes until after I was pregnant. Didn't even know it ran in the family. Had I known all this stuff before, I doubt I would have had children.

[shayesmom]

I hate that she keeps getting so sick from foods . I just wish my kids were healthy and I wish that I hadn't given them this horrible disease and now a food allergy. I felt so bad for her this morning.

How do you get over the guilt of passing such horrible things on to your wonderful little children? They just don't deserve this. I wish I could take their food problems away from them.

I think that it's human nature to want to blame ourselves or something else when something like this is thrust upon us. The situation often seems completely unfair and it's disheartening to have to go through all of these extra motions while being surrounded by people who are completely oblivious to the monumental efforts we have to make to survive in a world full of these foods. But you know....in the grand scheme of things, this really isn't so bad. We are afforded the opportunity to have complete control over it. We can avoid the offending foods and can provide alternatives. Parents who have children with Down's, cancer, cystic fibrosis.....they don't have that kind of control. They can put forth the same efforts we do (and much, much more) and there are no guarantees that there will be any degree of improvement or that they will attain a level of normalcy.

You are doing the best you can with the hand you've been dealt. Don't feel guilty for having passed on this gene. Don't feel guilty for providing your children with gluten-free food and for cooking without all of the other things that accommodate the food allergies and help your children thrive. Don't feel guilty for being an observant, thoughtful and caring parent who actually notices that your child is having issues with a food (many others would never make the connection).

Let go of the guilt. It is not yours to own.

Your children are healthy. And they are wonderful individuals because they have a wonderful mother setting wonderful examples of how to live well. I could see feeling guilty if you knowingly went out and glutened your children daily all the while KNOWING that you shouldn't be. But that is not the case here. You are doing your best...and from all I have read, your "best" is pretty darned good!

Don't let these issues stop you or even stall you. Focus on the positives. Your reaction to all of this is just as critical to your children as the food you provide them. If this feels like an unfair burden and you let that show....your kids will pick up on that and will resent their "limitations" and how it "limits" you. They in turn will also begin feeling guilty. It's important not to let that cycle begin.

Things will be okay in the long term. Sometimes we just have to change our perspective on what we view as being "okay". Keep up the good work and try not to let this get you down. If it's of any consolation...my dd is intolerant to gluten and soy while being allergic to dairy and eggs. Food colorings and preservatives aren't much of a picnic either. But we've learned to live with it...and thankfully, I've learned not to focus so much on the foods dd can't have. Instead, I've learned to focus on everything she can have. It's a much better place to be!