Roommate Issues Pt 4

[num1habsfan]

OK umm after getting over my asthma/panic attack, this probably won't make sense but the deal is that ....i got sick of her ignoring me or purposely being a b**** (like blasting music when i'm trying to study for an exam which i have tomorrow, being woken up at 8am every morning by my walls vibrating, etc)...So i got my parents to try help out since this place is as much theirs as mine, right??

Well she came storming in, THREATENED me and my parents, and said she's going to call the cops and charge us with harassment. Then she harassed me more by not letting me through down the hallway until I answered her questions and she kept repeating "answer my f****** question right now!!!". Finally she answered my mom's phone call. In my mean time mom talked to her dad...

Then she continued the verbal threats and exessive swearing. She told me that nothing is her fault at all.....and the reason i'm failing out of school is because I never go to class (which is a bunch of bull, and you all know that!).

Every person she speaks to on the phone she's calling it a "gong show" and actually laughing by the fact that I was having a serious asthma attack from her upsetting me so badly. She's telling everyone (including my mom) that at 23 years old I shouldnt need my mommy to do anything for me (but you all know that i've tried on my own!)

She told my mom that i refuse to do any cleaning in the apartment, even when she asks...the reason she'll never wash my dishes is because they're always mouldy...she has never made me sick...I never clean the kitchen (and whos the one that leave all the breadcrumbs??)...i have no right to say she needs to leave because her name is on the contract (even tho i'm already OUT of the contract!)

Add more swearing and lies into the mix...

She then told my parents that I hid the bills from her and that's why she never paid them, even though they sat on the table for 3 weeks AND she actually wrote on the one of them, PROVING I did no hide them from her.

I'm going to the school right now, and going to sit there all night if I have to. If I get hungry I'll run to McDonalds and grab some fries and there's a gas station to get coffee at. I will avoid this apartment as much as physically possible except for maybe to sleep.

My parents are going to try make a trip out here tomorrow, to talk to her face-to-face and tell her that enough is enough. And they're going to figure out if they know anybody in the city where I can live until I get my own apartment...

I DID NOT NEED TO DEAL WITH THIS, NOT TODAY, NOT WHEN I'M WRITING A VERY IMPORTANT MIDTERM TOMORROW!!!!!!! :( . I really need all your suppord on this one...

~ Lisa ~

[Phyllis28]

No advice, just sending hugs.

[Judyin Philly]

I'M SO SORRY.

IF THERE IS NO ONE YOU CAN STAY WITH UNTIL THE DATE SHE LEAVES....IS THERE ANY $$ TO RENT A ROOM OR MOTEL AT A CHEAP COST?

I'M SORRY I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS.

WILL SAY SOME PRAYERS FOR YOUR STENGTH IN THIS MATTER.

JUDY

[num1habsfan]

Thank you everyone, its soooo hard for me. i've tried focusing on my studying and i get flashblacks instead of her swearing and threats

I dont know anyone else besidees my friend, and right now I have about $100 in my bank account because my parents put some money in there so i'm not totally out, but that wont help me afford a hotel and all are far from the university.

my friend said he's going to get her side of the story -- we're both curious if she's going to give a different story/say something different than what she told my parents.

speaking of my parents, they are coming tomorrow morning, at least just to bring boxes. wonder how shes going to act...

*sigh* i do not want to go back to the apartment....

~ Lisa ~

[blueeyedmanda]

Lisa---(((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

hang in there!

[loco-ladi]

to bad your so far away, I got 4 extra bedrooms... Think I could email ya one?

[num1habsfan]

****hugs back**** amanda..thank you. i'm trying.

Spent 9 hours at the school, just at supper (at 1:30 am), and gonna do a bit more studying before sleep. I'm remember a major disadvantage of Crohn's or whatever it is: stress DEFINITELY flares it up

to bad your so far away, I got 4 extra bedrooms... Think I could email ya one?

I only wish!!

~ Lisa ~

[ravenwoodglass]

Lisa, Go to the police station and tell them what you have told us. Have them accompany you back to the apartment and tell her in no uncertain terms that she is not to assalt you verbally. Got a tape recorder? Carry it and turn it on when she approaches you or put your police emergency number on speed dial on your cell phone and let the cops come in response to her threats that they are hearing, don't let her see you do it or she may break it.

In the US she would be charged and jailed for not letting you leave. Do NOT go to McDonalds for food, you don't need to make yourself sick and I think you know it will do just that. Get yourself some food that you know is safe. Don't let your emotions overrule your common sense and tempt you to gluten or casien yourself.

[blueeyedmanda]

Raven has brought up a very good suggestion. You are being verbally abused. It sounds like your roommate cannot control their temper and that can be dangerous. If she didn't let you go down the hallway and such, that can be very scary and with you having asthma, it is probably only making that condition worse and could land you in the hospital. Please keep us updated I am keeping you in my thoughts.

[num1habsfan]

In the US she would be charged and jailed for not letting you leave. Do NOT go to McDonalds for food, you don't need to make yourself sick and I think you know it will do just that. Get yourself some food that you know is safe. Don't let your emotions overrule your common sense and tempt you to gluten or casien yourself.

I all have recorder-wise is just my digital camera, unfortunately. So that's not going to help too much!!

Btw: You're forgetting that McDonalds is safe to eat here in Canada.....i told my friend yesterday that even though i'm in my worst possible mood, i'd only eat/drink gluten if I wanted suicide. (he was bugging me to help him drink a beer, ha)

~ Lisa ~

[ravenwoodglass]

I all have recorder-wise is just my digital camera, unfortunately. So that's not going to help too much!!

Btw: You're forgetting that McDonalds is safe to eat here in Canada.....i told my friend yesterday that even though i'm in my worst possible mood, i'd only eat/drink gluten if I wanted suicide. (he was bugging me to help him drink a beer, ha)

~ Lisa ~

I definately envy you those fries. I live close to the border, perhaps I will have to make a few day trips.

Is there a freind, teacher or relative you could borrow a cell phone from for a couple of days? Another possibility would be a loan from a battered womens shelter or perhaps even the safety office on your campus? There are also real cheap phones available here now, like $20 every three months you may want to check what is available to you.

I hope all this stress is over for you soon.

[blueeyedmanda]

I definately envy you those fries. I live close to the border, perhaps I will have to make a few day trips.

Is there a freind, teacher or relative you could borrow a cell phone from for a couple of days? Another possibility would be a loan from a battered womens shelter or perhaps even the safety office on your campus? There are also real cheap phones available here now, like $20 every three months you may want to check what is available to you.

I hope all this stress is over for you soon.

do you live near Niagra Falls? We might be making a return trip there this spring, well the Finger Lakes area. This time we would like to visit the Canadian side.

[ravenwoodglass]

do you live near Niagra Falls? We might be making a return trip there this spring, well the Finger Lakes area. This time we would like to visit the Canadian side.

I think this was addressed to me, I actually I live in the heart of the Finger Lakes, it is only about a 4 hour drive, 2.5 if my DS drives , to the Falls. My DS and his freinds used to do weekends in Canada between the age of 18 and 21. I have been there a couple of times and really enjoyed it.

My strangest traveling story happened in Canada, way in the boonies we got off a main road to get gas. We pulled into the station, in the middle of nowhere, literally, and it seemed sort of dark but the pumps worked so we got our gas. A truck was filling the tanks while we were there and after searching for the gas attendant I finally went up to the tank guy and asked where I should pay. He said "sorry the station is closed". I told him I had just filled my tank. The attendant had forgotten to turn them off when he closed. I gave the tanker guy my money.

Where do you go in the Finger Lakes? Make sure you check out Watkins Glen if you haven't already. I live at the other end of Seneca Lake.

[num1habsfan]

I definately envy you those fries. I live close to the border, perhaps I will have to make a few day trips.

Is there a freind, teacher or relative you could borrow a cell phone from for a couple of days? Another possibility would be a loan from a battered womens shelter or perhaps even the safety office on your campus? There are also real cheap phones available here now, like $20 every three months you may want to check what is available to you.

I hope all this stress is over for you soon.

Hehe honestly I dont know the last time I actually ate their fries . Been ages, kinda ironic if you think about it!!

So here's what happened so far today:

I DID wake up at 6:30 and couldnt move from exhaustion/back ache so i slept til 8:30...got 3 hours of studying in today on my exam, and then wrote that which I think I did OK on!

My parents got into the city at 11:30 and picked me up from the school at 2...

i got to see my friend (and for the first time, her baby! )...dad cleaned for me(even did my dishes), me and mom started packing a few boxes since they brought a whole van load, they bought me a $90 vacuum cleaner with that HEPA filter for allergies, and took me out for supper to Luiggi's (they have a gluten-free menu)..then dad was worried i dont have enough cash so they gave me another $20

Mom's words as they walked out: "She better not try anything else" (about the dummy here). They were pissed about the fact she's letting people smoke in here (and I know they can tell its why i'm constantly sneezing or sniffling, from my allergies). They think HER areas of the apartment are a pigsty and gross...and they said dont tell the landlord about the illegal keys until after i'm gone..

Mom's gonna take care of things at the bank for me, just walk down there so I dont have to do it by phone/email..

OH i showed them the bills, with her writing on it, they just shook their heads. And since they still not paid I posted them on the fridge and wrote in big writing $88 OVERDUE . See if that'll get paid...

~ Lisa ~

[ravenwoodglass]

Hehe honestly I dont know the last time I actually ate their fries . Been ages, kinda ironic if you think about it!!

So here's what happened so far today:

I DID wake up at 6:30 and couldnt move from exhaustion/back ache so i slept til 8:30...got 3 hours of studying in today on my exam, and then wrote that which I think I did OK on!

My parents got into the city at 11:30 and picked me up from the school at 2...

i got to see my friend (and for the first time, her baby! )...dad cleaned for me(even did my dishes), me and mom started packing a few boxes since they brought a whole van load, they bought me a $90 vacuum cleaner with that HEPA filter for allergies, and took me out for supper to Luiggi's (they have a gluten-free menu)..then dad was worried i dont have enough cash so they gave me another $20

Mom's words as they walked out: "She better not try anything else" (about the dummy here). They were pissed about the fact she's letting people smoke in here (and I know they can tell its why i'm constantly sneezing or sniffling, from my allergies). They think HER areas of the apartment are a pigsty and gross...and they said dont tell the landlord about the illegal keys until after i'm gone..

Mom's gonna take care of things at the bank for me, just walk down there so I dont have to do it by phone/email..

OH i showed them the bills, with her writing on it, they just shook their heads. And since they still not paid I posted them on the fridge and wrote in big writing $88 OVERDUE . See if that'll get paid...

~ Lisa ~

It sounds like your parents are right on top of this. Good. The smoking issue is a hard one. She really should have respected your right to a smoke free home. Heck I am a smoker and my DS has problems with it also. Even in my own home I curtail the amount I smoke when he is here. It is just polite. I know you will be happy to get out of there. I hope it is soon and that she lays off until then. You may want to try and not do anything that will escalate matters until you can get out of there. Is there any way you or your family can just pay the bill and then perhaps send the copy of the reciept to her parents for payment, after you are out of there? I know that isn't fair in any way shape or form but you really don't need any more hissy fits out of this young lady.

[Phyllis28]

If you have not already done so, cancel any services (Phone, utilities ect...) in your name or your parents name effective on the day you move into your new apartment. Notify your roommate that she will need to arrange to have these services to continue.

[loco-ladi]

Also dont forget to tell her off after your all moved out, and make sure you use all your colorful 4 letter words

[debmidge]

Also dont forget to tell her off after your all moved out, and make sure you use all your colorful 4 letter words

...I wouldn't take this chance until I knew for sure that my mail was being forwarded properly. I moved out of a place on bad terms with someone (I was right and she - the landlord - was wrong) and she threw my mail away before the forwarding order started. Thankfully I didn't miss anything serious, but I did miss some bills and other stuff. People can be very vindictive.

[home-based-mom]

Also dont forget to tell her off after your all moved out, and make sure you use all your colorful 4 letter words

This soon-to-be former roommate apparently thinks Lisa is a flake, and therefore fair game for any and all abuse. A typical bully if there ever was one.

I think as Lisa moves on, this is her opportunity to demonstrate that she has a lot more class than her soon-to-be former roommate. So Lisa, don't even think of stooping to her level. Keep your chin up and just move on.

Also, once you are out and into your own place, let go of this entire issue. Continuing to let it eat away at you will NOT hurt your former roommate at all, but it will hurt you. I can't stress that strongly enough.

[Mom23boys]

Also dont forget to tell her off after your all moved out, and make sure you use all your colorful 4 letter words

Personally I would go the route of the tunafish in the air vents but thats just me.

[superbeansprout]

Hiya! My name is Liz...and was browsing the non-gluten topics, and read yours! WOW!!! Well....I'm so baffled by your conundrum. I hate your roommate. I don't even know her...or you...but I hate her anyway. I, too have had my share of a bad roommate in college...t'was about 7 years ago now, but roommates can be completely uncooperative, mean, and conniving when things don't go the way they want them too. I had a roommate in college who, when I asked her to not have friends over because I had to finish a final paper, which was like 25 pages long, instead of not having people over, she had 8 people over. No joke! 8!!!! and when I asked them if they could at least keep it down, they watched the South Park movie...I finally kicked them out of my house. It sparked a huge argument between me and my roommate, she said I had no right to kick them out of our apartment, but I say, I pay half the rent, and I asked not such a big deal of a thing of her, and she blatantly ignored me.

I'd like to say that people grow up, but sometimes they don't until so much later in their lives...23 is still sometimes early for people to stop being so f'ing selfish and think of others' needs over their own. Such is life. I say get out while you can. I bet you can find an apartment that does month-to-month rent, and put your room up for sublet. are you allowed to do that in your lease? Have you mentioned it to your landlord...maybe he/she will be understanding, especially since it's affecting your health! you never know, but all you can do is ask.

HANG IN THERE!!! and don't let her walk all over you, if you have to, just ignore her. Or agree with her, that will TOTALLY throw her off. And I agree with trying to record her. even if it is your digital camera...does it have a video setting? I would definitely mention it to the police if you can.

What did she say about the $88 overdue note on the fridge??

-Liz aka superbeansprout