Surreptitious gluten-free Dining

[Voix]

I was diagnosed a few months ago and am still developing my finesse with this illness and lifestyle.

My original goal was to make the transition at home to gluten-free dining, and then find several restaurants/dishes around town that are safe, and then finally to know enough so that I don't have to explain myself and my requirements to the waiter every time and in front of my companion.

Is that ultimate goal realistic? I am beginning to think that I will have to explain every time I order something in a restaurant.

[missy'smom]

Basically your plan is good and realistic but unfortunately you will have to bring it up, at the very least so that they can avoid cross-contamination. You really need to advocate for yourself everytime. Dining cards can help as can going through the manager. You can talk with the manager away from the table if you need a little more privacy.

[kenlove]

You really do have to explain each time, Even on airplanes. One flight attendant felt sorry for me and stuck a bagel on top of my "gluten free salad" which rendered it inedible. Even in health food stores with cafe's, they often don't understand and the risk for cross contamination is very high.

Good luck

ken

I was diagnosed a few months ago and am still developing my finesse with this illness and lifestyle.

My original goal was to make the transition at home to gluten-free dining, and then find several restaurants/dishes around town that are safe, and then finally to know enough so that I don't have to explain myself and my requirements to the waiter every time and in front of my companion.

Is that ultimate goal realistic? I am beginning to think that I will have to explain every time I order something in a restaurant.

[wockandwoll]

I agree. I went to Applebee's for my birthday (a place my town has where the manager is actually aware of Celiac) and they were VERY accomodating. I ordered the Fiesta Chicken (no tortilla strips) and they brought everything out separate just to be safe. Sauce in a separate bowl, cheese separate, pico de gallo, rice, etc. My waiter did, however, put croutons on my salad, thereby rendering it inedible. He fixed it once he realized what I did, but waitstaff can get busy and fall into habit (like putting croutons on a salad), so regardless, I would always say something.

[lovegrov]

Same opinion, you really MUST tell your server every time. And ask that the server pass it along to the kitchen.

richard

[samcarter]

Well, I admit that I am not very good at this yet. We only go to one particular restaurant, once a week, for brunch. I have looked at the menu online and so far have ordered an entree that had no outward signs of gluten in it (no bread, croutons, pasta, et cetera). Last time I had a delicious salad and felt great all day. Still, the mashed potatoes the week before could have had gluten in them. The shoestring potatoes on my salad could have been fried in oil used for breaded items. Although we go there as soon as the restaurant is open for brunch, and the kitchen would be *in theory* cleaned and new, I know I'm risking cross-contamination.

As I work my way towards a definitive diagnosis, I will take dining cards with me and talk to the server, OR call the day ahead of time to speak to the manager or chefs so I know exactly what I can and can't have. Right now I'm not sensitive to tiny amounts, but I will be as I become more gluten free.

I would say, do as others say, not as I'm doing right now! talk to your servers, call the restaurants.

[missy'smom]

Well, I admit that I am not very good at this yet. We only go to one particular restaurant, once a week, for brunch. I have looked at the menu online and so far have ordered an entree that had no outward signs of gluten in it (no bread, croutons, pasta, et cetera). Last time I had a delicious salad and felt great all day. Still, the mashed potatoes the week before could have had gluten in them. The shoestring potatoes on my salad could have been fried in oil used for breaded items. Although we go there as soon as the restaurant is open for brunch, and the kitchen would be *in theory* cleaned and new, I know I'm risking cross-contamination.

As I work my way towards a definitive diagnosis, I will take dining cards with me and talk to the server, OR call the day ahead of time to speak to the manager or chefs so I know exactly what I can and can't have. Right now I'm not sensitive to tiny amounts, but I will be as I become more gluten free.

I would say, do as others say, not as I'm doing right now! talk to your servers, call the restaurants.

I can't say what standard policy is for most places but I worked in a grocery store deli in high school and those fryers are a real pain to clean and drain. Ours were drained and new oil added only once a week I think and I don't know when they were really cleaned. I can't imagine that anywhere cleans and drains them everyday. Even if they were cleaned, they can't get rid of all traces of gluten.

You can sometimes e-mail places in advance too. I recently did this because I plan to travel to another nearby community(that I'm unfamiliar with) once a week and was looking for places to get a safe meal. I looked up restaurants on mapquest and some had websites and menus posted so I picked out places and things that I thought might work and emailed them(the local location-not corporate in this case) with my questions. I figure that way they could have a little time to research things a bit and get back to me. It went well. And if it works out I'll be a regular patron, along with my family,so our efforts benefit us both and I let them know that.

[Voix]

How do you handle it when you are eating out in a work context, on a date or with someone new, or with family, friend, or acquaintance that is skeptical or judgmental?

(I feel like I know how to handle the skeptic, but curious how others handle it.)

[laurelfla]

Hi, there!

I pretty much only go to places with gluten free menus, if I can help it. When the topic comes up i just explain briefly what I have to avoid. If the other person downplays it, or says that they know of someone with a similar allergy, I just say that it goes way beyond an allergy and that if I did not follow the diet, in the short run, I would have flu-like symptoms, and in the long run, my risk for cancer would go up. Then I try to change the topic. I find that having the gluten free menu to show someone who's not familiar with the diet is helpful in explaining.

The annoying part is feeling like you can't ever eat out without dealing with this topic! Inevitably, even with people who know, it comes up.

[missy'smom]

How do you handle it when you are eating out in a work context, on a date or with someone new, or with family, friend, or acquaintance that is skeptical or judgmental?

(I feel like I know how to handle the skeptic, but curious how others handle it.)

These are the situations that I find myself in where food is served/shared: tea time after church,bible study meals, church potlucks, institutional holiday meals with a senior parent, lunches out with friends/ church members who are hosting a visitor. In all these situations I brought my own food or if I had time, I brought something or more than one dish to share. It's not the only way to handle it but that's what I chose. In the restaurants, they were places that I was unfamiliar with and run by people who were not native English speakers so communication would have been difficult and the whole group of about 10 people was ordering so I didn't feel bad. Being with the group was more important than what we ate. I simply told the waitress that I had multiple food allergies.

I did this once in an American restaurant too when I was traveling with my two family members. Now I know how to plan ahead, am more familiar with the diet, know the pitfalls of eating out and am confident in advocating for myself.

At the holiday meal, I got a few looks, especially because my sister was visiting and we both brought plates, but didn't explain as we weren't asked. I made similar food to what was served. We used Rubbermaid divided plates with lids. The time spent with the family member was more important than the food. In some cases you can work with the caterer but not in this case for me.

For the most part, I don't explain unless I'm asked. Most people aren't interested and don't get it. Sometimes the more we say or bring attention to it the more defensive others get( I have a relative that's this way)It doesn't matter what others think, having a safe meal is what matters. I used to feel more embarrased but, I really don't care anymore. I have to do what I have to do to take care of myself. I've found that people get used to it in time. It may take a year of seeing you bring your own stuff. After a year of seeing me bring my own snacks for after church tea(I used to bring things to share but I've been busy), one lady has started bringing fruit often and once brought some chips that she specifically chose because she figured out on her own that they were safe, and luckily they were! In one of the groups situations in the restaurant, one of the ladies, who was new to the group, let out a big laugh and made a comment when she saw that I brought my own food. I gently said that I had a disease(in her language) and without explanation, and that was the end of it. No hard feelings. She just couldn't imagine why anyone would bring their own food and I understand that.

[Voix]

Thanks for the information. That helps. I guess I do all that already. I don't want to call attention to it, but it looks like when eating out I will have to, unless I can bring my own meals, which isn't all that fun, but I will get used to it.

[babysteps]

How do you handle it when you are eating out in a work context, on a date or with someone new, or with family, friend, or acquaintance that is skeptical or judgmental?

(I feel like I know how to handle the skeptic, but curious how others handle it.)

With skeptics I go for a combination of education and sovereignty (as in "it's my body and this is what I know it requires"). Education as in clarifying that celiac is a disease, not a diet. Firm but unemotional tone helps. Acknowledge it takes effort to be gluten-free but isn't it wonderful that no drugs are required, and that with time the effort becomes second nature.

I think most skeptics are people who would challenge their friends/relatives on a wide range of topics, some are new to celiac but most would launch into judgment on any topic (example: "you're going where on vacation?, I heard it's just awful there").

[Voix]

Perceptive.