Comprehensive Turtle Mountain Product Reviews.

[Pyro]

I always find it useful to share opinons on food, especially considering the crap we have to buy is expensive. So here are the things I've tried from them.

So Delicious Line

Chocolate Peanut Butter: I'm really angry at myself for letting myself eat this considering peanuts cause me problems. But at the time I was really intent on testing myself. Oh well. At first it was really good and was almost like eating a cool Reese's Peanut Butter cup. But digging more and more into it the taste kind of faded and it seemed a bit salty and had kind of that mild murky pond taste of badly covered soy flavor. 5/10

Chocolate Velvet:

Okay chocolate. Pretty good, but not much to say about it. 6/10

Neopolitan:

The same chocolate in chocolate velvet. The vanilla here is horrible and really has that turtle-y taste. The strawberry is pretty good but not that impressive. 6/10

Strawberry:

The same strawberry in the neopolitan except here you get to taste it more since it isn't limited to a thin strip. It has a mild cotton candy flavor to it and isn't bad at all. 7/10

So Delicious Yogurt

Cinnamon Bun:

It really does kind of taste like a cinnamon bun! But it's kind of weird when it lacks that gluteny flakey hunk of pastry. At times it reminded me of a cinnamon scent candle. They should have went with a better flavor for the texture. Especially because I just realized that one could imagine it was a chewed up cinnabun. Ewww! 6.5/10

Purely Decadent

Belgian Chocolate: Pretty good chocolate here, but pretty bland. It's almost like chocolate sorbet. Definitely lacking if you have nothing to go with it. Definitely get a cone or something to put it on. 7/10

Blueberry Cheesecake: This stuff is pure heaven. Oh my god I love it so much. It's so creamy and the "cheesecake" goes so well with the blueberries. The crust is also very good, especially with a nice puddle of melted "cheesecake" to go with it. 10/10

Cherry Nirvana: Very good. I would have rather done without the chocolate and had a more vanilla touch though, or something. Dark chocolate is in too many of their products and while good it kind of gets predictable you know? 7/10

Chocolate Obsession: Very very delicious. The chocolate here is creamier than the belgian chocolate and ricochets off of other flavors and textures of chocolate. I love it. 9.5/10

Coconut Craze: Bleh. Coconut and dark chocolate. Pretty yawn worthy in my opinion. The coconut is too overpowering, and the chocolate is that weak overused dark chocolate crust. They could have made it more almond joy like if they tried. 3/10

Cookie Dough: It's okay. You'd probably love it if you were a big fan of cookie dough. But to me, it's too salty and sugary. Not rich and savory like finished grandma style cookies are. Could have used lard (serious) or something to give it a richer fattier finish. 4/10

Key Lime Pie: I found it similar to the blueberry cheesecake, so they must have borrowed that creamy vanilla. It's really good but I don't think key lime is really my style. 7/10

Mocha Almond Fudge: The almonds and fudge need to take a hike. IMO they detract from the richness of the coffee flavor that could have really blossomed. I don't think anything should have been crunchy in it. The capucinno flavor by coconut bliss is better, but even that misses the mark IMO. 5/10

Snickerdoodle: Very very delicious. I was uninterested in it until I began running out of flavors to try. I'm so lucky I did. Sweet and cinnamon-y and really good. More cookie like than the cookie dough and with a lot more cookie chunks. The cookie chunks were good but actually kind of salty sometimes. Some were good, and some weren't. Still a 9.5/10

So Very Strawberry: Yuck! I'm a huge fan of strawberry ice cream but this stuff is really not good. I'd rather have the so delicious line. The strawberry flavor doesn't stand out at all and it comes across as really weak and fake. 2/10

Swinging Banana Anna: YUCK YUCK!! This one isn't even on their site but I saw it at Whole Foods and decided to try it. I love bananas and walnuts together but they both need to have strong flavor. Good fresh bananas and nicely roasted walnuts. Here they were both weak, and the worst of the flavors combined to make it BITTER. I traded it back after two spoonfuls. 1/10

Vanilla Almond Novelty Stick: BOOOORING. Same old dark chocolate crust and the almonds' flavor doesn't really show. The vanilla is just regular vanilla you would expect in an almond stick. I wouldn't mind this as a snack on a hot summer day if it was cheap but these are very expensive. 5/10 normally, 1/10 for the price. You only get three per box and they aren't very satisfying.

I hope you enjoy! Soon I'll be trying more. Right now I have the pomegranite chip sitting in my freezer along with a couple blueberry cheesecakes for backup and a Cherry Vanilla pudding in the fridge. I usually have a "carb up" every four days so this is why I eat so much ice cream. And in four days I'll probably have those new reviews up. Or maybe not because my stomach is going absolutely bonkers right now and it's scaring me.

BTW if you want to know I tried a couple of the Coconut Bliss flavors. Minds well post them.

Capucinno: Pretty good, but isn't really worth going out of your way or paying the price for a mediocre kind of coffee-ish ice cream. 6/10

Dark Chocolate Hazelnut Bliss: Very good. Very creamy and chocolately. Though it didn't live up to my expectations seeing as chocolate and hazelnuts are two of my favorite things in life. I thought this would answer my prayers but I don't think I'll be getting it again anytime soon. It actually kind of reminded me of a very creamy chocolate obsession from turtle mountain which I would rather get and combine with hazelnuts. 7.5/10

Overall Coconut Bliss hasn't really won me over so I would rather keep eating blueberry cheesecake over and over than trying their flavors.

[Juliebove]

I always find it useful to share opinons on food, especially considering the crap we have to buy is expensive. So here are the things I've tried from them.

So Delicious Line

Chocolate Peanut Butter: I'm really angry at myself for letting myself eat this considering peanuts cause me problems. But at the time I was really intent on testing myself. Oh well. At first it was really good and was almost like eating a cool Reese's Peanut Butter cup. But digging more and more into it the taste kind of faded and it seemed a bit salty and had kind of that mild murky pond taste of badly covered soy flavor. 5/10

Chocolate Velvet:

Okay chocolate. Pretty good, but not much to say about it. 6/10

Neopolitan:

The same chocolate in chocolate velvet. The vanilla here is horrible and really has that turtle-y taste. The strawberry is pretty good but not that impressive. 6/10

Strawberry:

The same strawberry in the neopolitan except here you get to taste it more since it isn't limited to a thin strip. It has a mild cotton candy flavor to it and isn't bad at all. 7/10

So Delicious Yogurt

Cinnamon Bun:

It really does kind of taste like a cinnamon bun! But it's kind of weird when it lacks that gluteny flakey hunk of pastry. At times it reminded me of a cinnamon scent candle. They should have went with a better flavor for the texture. Especially because I just realized that one could imagine it was a chewed up cinnabun. Ewww! 6.5/10

Purely Decadent

Belgian Chocolate: Pretty good chocolate here, but pretty bland. It's almost like chocolate sorbet. Definitely lacking if you have nothing to go with it. Definitely get a cone or something to put it on. 7/10

Blueberry Cheesecake: This stuff is pure heaven. Oh my god I love it so much. It's so creamy and the "cheesecake" goes so well with the blueberries. The crust is also very good, especially with a nice puddle of melted "cheesecake" to go with it. 10/10

Cherry Nirvana: Very good. I would have rather done without the chocolate and had a more vanilla touch though, or something. Dark chocolate is in too many of their products and while good it kind of gets predictable you know? 7/10

Chocolate Obsession: Very very delicious. The chocolate here is creamier than the belgian chocolate and ricochets off of other flavors and textures of chocolate. I love it. 9.5/10

Coconut Craze: Bleh. Coconut and dark chocolate. Pretty yawn worthy in my opinion. The coconut is too overpowering, and the chocolate is that weak overused dark chocolate crust. They could have made it more almond joy like if they tried. 3/10

Cookie Dough: It's okay. You'd probably love it if you were a big fan of cookie dough. But to me, it's too salty and sugary. Not rich and savory like finished grandma style cookies are. Could have used lard (serious) or something to give it a richer fattier finish. 4/10

Key Lime Pie: I found it similar to the blueberry cheesecake, so they must have borrowed that creamy vanilla. It's really good but I don't think key lime is really my style. 7/10

Mocha Almond Fudge: The almonds and fudge need to take a hike. IMO they detract from the richness of the coffee flavor that could have really blossomed. I don't think anything should have been crunchy in it. The capucinno flavor by coconut bliss is better, but even that misses the mark IMO. 5/10

Snickerdoodle: Very very delicious. I was uninterested in it until I began running out of flavors to try. I'm so lucky I did. Sweet and cinnamon-y and really good. More cookie like than the cookie dough and with a lot more cookie chunks. The cookie chunks were good but actually kind of salty sometimes. Some were good, and some weren't. Still a 9.5/10

So Very Strawberry: Yuck! I'm a huge fan of strawberry ice cream but this stuff is really not good. I'd rather have the so delicious line. The strawberry flavor doesn't stand out at all and it comes across as really weak and fake. 2/10

Swinging Banana Anna: YUCK YUCK!! This one isn't even on their site but I saw it at Whole Foods and decided to try it. I love bananas and walnuts together but they both need to have strong flavor. Good fresh bananas and nicely roasted walnuts. Here they were both weak, and the worst of the flavors combined to make it BITTER. I traded it back after two spoonfuls. 1/10

Vanilla Almond Novelty Stick: BOOOORING. Same old dark chocolate crust and the almonds' flavor doesn't really show. The vanilla is just regular vanilla you would expect in an almond stick. I wouldn't mind this as a snack on a hot summer day if it was cheap but these are very expensive. 5/10 normally, 1/10 for the price. You only get three per box and they aren't very satisfying.

I hope you enjoy! Soon I'll be trying more. Right now I have the pomegranite chip sitting in my freezer along with a couple blueberry cheesecakes for backup and a Cherry Vanilla pudding in the fridge. I usually have a "carb up" every four days so this is why I eat so much ice cream. And in four days I'll probably have those new reviews up. Or maybe not because my stomach is going absolutely bonkers right now and it's scaring me.

BTW if you want to know I tried a couple of the Coconut Bliss flavors. Minds well post them.

Capucinno: Pretty good, but isn't really worth going out of your way or paying the price for a mediocre kind of coffee-ish ice cream. 6/10

Dark Chocolate Hazelnut Bliss: Very good. Very creamy and chocolately. Though it didn't live up to my expectations seeing as chocolate and hazelnuts are two of my favorite things in life. I thought this would answer my prayers but I don't think I'll be getting it again anytime soon. It actually kind of reminded me of a very creamy chocolate obsession from turtle mountain which I would rather get and combine with hazelnuts. 7.5/10

Overall Coconut Bliss hasn't really won me over so I would rather keep eating blueberry cheesecake over and over than trying their flavors.

Daughter liked the dark chocolate Cocunut Bliss until she tried the vanilla. She LOVES that! I got her some gluten-free cones and she is happy as a clam now.

[jayhawkmom]

Mocha Almond Fudge: The almonds and fudge need to take a hike. IMO they detract from the richness of the coffee flavor that could have really blossomed. I don't think anything should have been crunchy in it. The capucinno flavor by coconut bliss is better, but even that misses the mark IMO. 5/10

I respectfully disagree with you here. I absolutely LOVE the mocha almond fudge!!! The "real deal" from Baskin Robbins was my all-time favorite before going (mostly) dairy free. This tastes incredibly close to the real thing.

I haven't tried any of the other ones yet. I'm always too tempted to eat "the whole thing" when I have something yummy like that!

[celiac-mommy]

My favorite is the peanut butter zigzag--nothing better than chocolate and peanut butter

[Pyro]

I tried some new ones.

So Delicious Yogurt

Cherry Vanilla Swirl: Very delicious. Tastes like it sounds and the cherry flavor isn't so tart. Good texture. 8/10

Coconut Milk Blueberry: Ehhh.. It's okay. Pretty runny with a kind of disturbing grainy texture. The taste is kind of bland. I've had baby food that taste really similar to this, which isn't exactly a bad thing but not a good thing considering the price and standards Turtle Mountain is supposed to have. 4/10

Purely Decadent Coconut Milk Ice Cream

Mint Chip: Very good. Nice and creamy. Lot's of chocolate to enjoy, so it's like a big klondike that got mashed up rather than some geek dropping chocolate chips in a puddle of mint sauce. It had a light natural minty flavor, which was very different from "normal" mint ice cream that you'd find in a grocery store. Some parts were mintier, some less. I liked it, but probably wouldn't get it again. 7/10

[Pyro]

Pomegranite Chip: OH MY GOD! WHY HAVE I DEPRIVED MYSELF OF THIS FOR SO LONG!? I never picked it up because I never got into this pomegranite craze. Everything pomegranite I tried tasted like crap. But since it was on sale and I heard someone liked it I thought it wouldn't hurt to try it. It's one of my very favorites. It's like a very delicious raspberry sherbet or something to that effect. And the chocolate gives a tart crunch, kind of giving the illusion of fruit pieces. 9.5/10

The only reason I don't give it a 10 is because when I ate the blueberry cheesecake for the first time I thought I was in heaven. Oh hell what am I saying, this is a 10.

Cookie Dough Coconut Milk: Pretty good. Better than the regular cookie dough, but not my favorite. If you really love cookie dough, you'll go crazy over this. It's spot on. 8/10