Getting Frustrated With Daughter!

[Mother of Jibril]

My daughter is only three, but she has a VERY strong mind of her own. She's going to make quite the spectacular teenager She eats a lot of different foods, but within the last few months she has started to insist that each one be completely separate... no mixing foods (like soup or pizza with the toppings). I understand... I used to be like that too. I let her eat very simple foods for dinner... pieces of cheese, fruit, vegetables, waffles, macaroni and cheese, yogurt... it doesn't take long to prepare. "Treats" are off-limits until the real food is gone. My husband is really erratic about meal times (he does a lot on his own)... so when I cook, I cook for my own pleasure Tonight I made soup and there should be lots of yummy leftovers for at least a couple of days. Everybody's happy and honestly... I don't spend a lot of time in the kitchen.

As far as the supplements go... my daughter actually likes the Animal Parade multivitamins. I found a big jar of all PINK (her favorite). She also likes the Country Life "solar gems" vitamin D (cod liver oil)... it comes in little lemon-flavored gel tabs that you can chew like gummy candy.

[tarnalberry]

I won't play his games. He's an adult and I feel if an adult needs to do stuff like this, something is very wrong.

oh my! Julie, I should have mentioned that I mostly meant that for your daughter - your husband is old enough to voluntarily work with you on these things. You are already far more generous than I am with my husband - I'll make something I know he doesn't dislike, and that's it. If he wants something that I tend not to buy, he has to buy it. As you say - they're adults. You might try being a little more firm with him, so he can't set a bad example for your daughter? I don't know... Not having kids, this is all guess work for me.

Good luck! It sounds like you've gotten some good advice already.

[Juliebove]

Although she is only 10, she is adult sized so according to her Drs. needs adult sized doses of meds. I bought her the teen vitamins, thinking they are more in line with what she needs. We do have the gummies. She's not overly thrilled with them. That's why I got the swallowables.

I did just buy a huge bottle of something that looked like gumdrops at the health food store after getting samples. We both tried one and liked them. However, what came in the bottle did NOT taste good like the sample. So I don't know there. Very sour. I threw them out.

[shayesmom]

This is what I dread....and that's because I KNOW that it is coming for us as well!

I'm currently getting over a cooking "rut" that has lasted several months. Like you, I've also gone to that crockpot site, with mixed reviews at best. My dd goes through eating phases where she likes something and then likes nothing. She's just 5. But I see the writing on the wall and with a very restricted diet, I often feel like we're out of options (which isn't necessarily true...but it sure does feel that way!). I am not looking forward to packing lunches for my dd next year.

That being said, there are a few things that I've begun doing that seems to be helping us get over the current rut. I've been making a fall-back meal/snack at least once or twice a week. In our case, it's been something like chicken noodle soup, baked chicken wings, chicken/turkey casserole or spare ribs. I make this one day and it's only for snacks or for when there are complaints about dinner. For the casseroles, I make my own dairy-free cream of mushroom soup as well as a "cheese" made with cashews. Spaghetti and meatballs is also another optional fall-back meal.

And I would recommend things like nutritional yeast or McCormick California style garlic salt to use on days when dairy isn't an option.

Other things we have done is make sliced organic hot dogs wrapped in organic bacon. I can then serve this with potato salad, home fries or beans. You can have your dd mix and match her own side dishes.

So she like olives? She can pack those as a side in her lunch. I often do that.

I also pack myself things like apple slices and sunbutter, tuna salad with crackers (in lieu of bread), seafood or chicken/broccoli alfredo (make the alfredo with cashews), etc..

We've recently discovered the Purely Decadent Coconut yogurts and ice creams. It sounds like this may be a viable option for your dd. Mine loves it with some safe "granola" to top it with. The ice cream could be used to make the occasional smoothie she can pack in a thermos.

I know that some of these aren't the most nutritious of foods. But it's been my experience that these ruts need to be conquered before any growth can take place. In short, you've got to get the car out of the ditch before punching the gas to drive it down the road.

As for dh....he eats pretty much anything. And he knows that if he wants something "special", then it's in his best interest to make the request early in the day or in the least, leave the steak thawing on the counter before he leaves for work! lol!! Since I spend most of my time in the kitchen, I'm sure to get the hint!

I hope you work through this soon!

[Juliebove]

This is what I dread....and that's because I KNOW that it is coming for us as well!

I'm currently getting over a cooking "rut" that has lasted several months. Like you, I've also gone to that crockpot site, with mixed reviews at best. My dd goes through eating phases where she likes something and then likes nothing. She's just 5. But I see the writing on the wall and with a very restricted diet, I often feel like we're out of options (which isn't necessarily true...but it sure does feel that way!). I am not looking forward to packing lunches for my dd next year.

That being said, there are a few things that I've begun doing that seems to be helping us get over the current rut. I've been making a fall-back meal/snack at least once or twice a week. In our case, it's been something like chicken noodle soup, baked chicken wings, chicken/turkey casserole or spare ribs. I make this one day and it's only for snacks or for when there are complaints about dinner. For the casseroles, I make my own dairy-free cream of mushroom soup as well as a "cheese" made with cashews. Spaghetti and meatballs is also another optional fall-back meal.

And I would recommend things like nutritional yeast or McCormick California style garlic salt to use on days when dairy isn't an option.

Other things we have done is make sliced organic hot dogs wrapped in organic bacon. I can then serve this with potato salad, home fries or beans. You can have your dd mix and match her own side dishes.

So she like olives? She can pack those as a side in her lunch. I often do that.

I also pack myself things like apple slices and sunbutter, tuna salad with crackers (in lieu of bread), seafood or chicken/broccoli alfredo (make the alfredo with cashews), etc..

We've recently discovered the Purely Decadent Coconut yogurts and ice creams. It sounds like this may be a viable option for your dd. Mine loves it with some safe "granola" to top it with. The ice cream could be used to make the occasional smoothie she can pack in a thermos.

I know that some of these aren't the most nutritious of foods. But it's been my experience that these ruts need to be conquered before any growth can take place. In short, you've got to get the car out of the ditch before punching the gas to drive it down the road.

As for dh....he eats pretty much anything. And he knows that if he wants something "special", then it's in his best interest to make the request early in the day or in the least, leave the steak thawing on the counter before he leaves for work! lol!! Since I spend most of my time in the kitchen, I'm sure to get the hint!

I hope you work through this soon!

I need to find more coconut yogurt. She did like it, but the health food store has been out of it. I did see it at some other store but now I can't remember where.

I have done the bacon wrapped hot dogs. She liked them. Husband said he hated them, but again he ate tons. The last few times I have suggested buying hot dogs though, she told me they were disgusting and schreeched if I even looked like I was going to touch a package. Same thing for Kielbasa and Bratwurst.

This morning she was particularly cranky. So much so that I was really glad when the bus came. She said she could sleep for another 26 hours. I am beginning to think she is just not fully over this flu.

[RiceGuy]

Well, I'm not sure I can offer anything which hasn't already been covered, in one form or another. But I do know that kids take cues from the people around them, and your husband is definitely not helping. Children will take every advantage of whatever others appear to "get away with". If they see how a parent will say or do something, which the other parent allows, they'll follow suit. Even if the food isn't so bad, if they think there's the slightest chance that the parent will buckle, or that they can weaken that parent's resolve for the next confrontation, that's exactly what they'll do.

Kids LOVE to push the limits set by their parents. Flu or no flu, allergy or not, super-taster or not, it just doesn't matter. They'll do it just to be defiant. I know people who grew up that way, getting away with all sorts of stuff as kids. And now, as so-called "adults", they're so maladjusted, it's pathetic.

My husband is not a picky eater at all. He is very controlling and manipulative. He used to play games with his mom. She would fix him a plate of food and he would say, "I don't want that! I want something else!" So she would cry and fix him something else. He would do this maybe 4 or 5 times with her finally hurling herself down on her bed in tears, which is exactly what he wanted. He would laugh and then proceed to eat all the plates of food.

It does sound your husband has not completely outgrown this sort of behavior. It may be somewhat modified, but it's still there, and it sounds like your daughter is definitely picking up on it.

I'm not saying your daughter is going to become that way. Most don't. I'm just pointing out that kids know how to play mind games. As long as you fall back, they keep pushing. So while she might have a perfectly legitimate reason for her current behavior, it can easily become a trend. She needs to know that you're a rock which she can lean on when she needs to, but you won't move no matter how much she pushes.

Given her dietary restrictions, which you've mentioned, I can understand how it can get tough. However, the rotation diet could actually help in some ways, because she won't have to be eating the same thing day after day. Thing is, new foods aren't always a welcomed thing, but the method of preparation can make a large difference.

A child's tastes can be very different from those of their parents. I recall times when the main dish on the table was some sort of sauce with squid in it. I don't care how much sauce is covering them, there's no way to make tentacles appear appetizing! There's no way to make them taste good either. My mom actually thought this was a wonderful dish, and just couldn't fathom how anyone would not like it. Same with the tripe. My stomach turns just recalling the memory.

There are so many ways to make foods, and preparing them can be fun. It may turn out that your daughter will like things that you'd never think of, but are still healthy. Sometimes it just takes a little spark to get the imagination going. For instance, there are literally several hundreds of ways to make salsa. Who knew?! Here are some sites which you and your daughter might get some ideas from (you'll have to modify according to restrictions of course):

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

You know, if Stevia tastes good to your daughter, you could do a lot with it. For example, a pumpkin pie made with Stevia instead of sugar is actually not so bad health-wise. After all, pumpkin is a type of winter squash, and you don't need any dairy or eggs for it either. Stevia works well in cookies, and all sorts of things. Obviously, there can only be so much indulgence, but if it can lead to a broadening of the foods she will eat, it may be well worth doing.

Do you and your daughter like to get creative with smoothies or anything? Is there any food which she'll take an interest in making with you? The way you approach the subject is also very important. If you make it sound like a fun thing, I'd think your chances of raising her interest are better.

[RiceGuy]

Just thought of something. Have you looked into the possibility of a candida overgrowth? This made me very irritable and cranky as a kid, always felt icky, would change my mind about food from one moment to the next, etc. Candida can also cause food intolerances, or what seem to be allergies. And, it does make you crave certain foods too.

[Juliebove]

I don't generally make desserts. I'm diabetic and I don't consider them necessary. Since we never had them, except for special occasions like holidays and birthdays, she doesn't expect them. As for stevia, I don't believe it is a healthy thing to consume so would never buy it or anything containing it.

I do make the occasional apple crisp if I happen to have an abundance or apples and nobody has eaten them. Have tried pear crisp when we had a lot of pears on our trees, but nobody really liked it.

I have made Smoothies for her during the summer. And I get her one Jamba Juice per week, most weeks. She got two this week. She had that and salad for dinner tonight. She didn't put up a fuss. I told her that was what she was having and she selected what she wanted.

[Juliebove]

Just thought of something. Have you looked into the possibility of a candida overgrowth? This made me very irritable and cranky as a kid, always felt icky, would change my mind about food from one moment to the next, etc. Candida can also cause food intolerances, or what seem to be allergies. And, it does make you crave certain foods too.

That's possible. I just went through this myself. Have been sick since Sept. She had an ear infection and I had a cough, but the Dr. thought both were viruses. She still prescribed antibiotics because whatever it was, wasn't going away.

Then she went to the Dr. repeatedly for what we thought was a UTI. Turns out it was not that at all but impacted feces. So she had a lot of antibiotics she didn't need.

Meanwhile I got an ear infection and had two rounds of antibiotics. Finally had to go to the ENT and it was yeast in my ears! Had a yeast infection elsewhere. So... It's possible she has this problem too.

Thanks!

[RiceGuy]

As for stevia, I don't believe it is a healthy thing to consume so would never buy it or anything containing it.

Really? Wow. How did you come to that conclusion? Or are you thinking of aspartame by any chance? Just in case you've been misinformed, Stevia is a completely natural extract, with zero carbs, zero sugars, zero calories, and zero on the glycemic index. It is extracted with plain water, so there are no chemical residues. There haven't been any reported negative side effects from Stevia, and it has been extensively studied for decades. It's also heat stable, so it's great for baking. It comes from a herb native to Paraguay.

I'm not trying to convince you to use it. Just really surprised of your opinion of it, and want to make sure there wasn't some misunderstanding.

That's possible. I just went through this myself. Have been sick since Sept. She had an ear infection and I had a cough, but the Dr. thought both were viruses. She still prescribed antibiotics because whatever it was, wasn't going away.

Then she went to the Dr. repeatedly for what we thought was a UTI. Turns out it was not that at all but impacted feces. So she had a lot of antibiotics she didn't need.

Yes, that's certainly one way to end up with an intestinal yeast overgrowth, or to make one worse. You could easily try some caprylic acid capsules, or one of the other candida killers. These supplements aren't expected to cause any problems even if there is no infection, so I'd have no hesitation if I though I might need them.

[Juliebove]

Really? Wow. How did you come to that conclusion? Or are you thinking of aspartame by any chance? Just in case you've been misinformed, Stevia is a completely natural extract, with zero carbs, zero sugars, zero calories, and zero on the glycemic index. It is extracted with plain water, so there are no chemical residues. There haven't been any reported negative side effects from Stevia, and it has been extensively studied for decades. It's also heat stable, so it's great for baking. It comes from a herb native to Paraguay.

I personally believe Aspartame is safe. As for the Stevia, I have seen online that it can change DNA. That can't be good. And it's why it is not approved for use as a sweetener in many countries. It was not approved for use here until recently. I've also been told by people who tried it that it tasted awful. Bitter.

I'm not trying to convince you to use it. Just really surprised of your opinion of it, and want to make sure there wasn't some misunderstanding.

Yes, that's certainly one way to end up with an intestinal yeast overgrowth, or to make one worse. You could easily try some caprylic acid capsules, or one of the other candida killers. These supplements aren't expected to cause any problems even if there is no infection, so I'd have no hesitation if I though I might need them.

There's no misunderstanding. As a diabetic, Stevia has long been discussed among the community. Some chose to use it. Most do not.

[RiceGuy]

There's no misunderstanding. As a diabetic, Stevia has long been discussed among the community. Some chose to use it. Most do not.

That is very interesting! I shall definitely look on the diabetes boards to find out what it is that makes them decide not to use it. Everything I've read - and I mean everything - suggests that Stevia is the perfect sweetener for a diabetic (and everyone else).

[Juliebove]

That is very interesting! I shall definitely look on the diabetes boards to find out what it is that makes them decide not to use it. Everything I've read - and I mean everything - suggests that Stevia is the perfect sweetener for a diabetic (and everyone else).

Do a search on stevia and DNA mutation. And I don't know about diabetes boards. I only post to the newsgroups.

[Jestgar]

I put your search terms into pubmed.

Open Original Shared Link

I only scanned the first page, and this is the only report specific to genetics:

Open Original Shared Link

And this is their finding:

The majority of the findings show no evidence of genotoxic activity. Neither stevioside nor its aglycone steviol have been shown to react directly with DNA or demonstrate genotoxic damage in assays relevant to human risk. The mutagenic activity of steviol and some of its derivatives, exhibited in strain TM677, was not reproduced in the same bacteria having normal DNA repair processes. The single positive in vivo study measuring single-strand DNA breaks in Wistar rat tissues by stevioside, was not confirmed in experiments in mice and appears to be measuring processes other than direct DNA damage. Neither stevioside nor steviol-induced clastogenic effects at extremely high dose levels in vivo. Application of a Weight-of-Evidence approach to assess the genetic toxicology database concludes that these substances do not pose a risk of genetic damage following human consumption.

[Juliebove]

Okay, thanks! It's still not something I wish to use though.

[Jestgar]

Okay, thanks! It's still not something I wish to use though.

I don't actually like it - it leaves a bitter aftertaste. Wonder if that varies from individual to individual.

[Juliebove]

I don't actually like it - it leaves a bitter aftertaste. Wonder if that varies from individual to individual.

That's what my mom said. She tried in in cranberry sauce and said it was inedible. From what I've read about it, you need a very small amount. Much less than you'd think.

The way I look at it... I don't eat much in the way of sweets to start with. I used to bake a lot and make my own candy. But since the diabetes diagnosis, that all went out the window. I learned to live without that stuff and my daughter was raised for the most part without it. I do buy her Enjoy Life cookies and chocolate bars for her lunch. She eats marshmallows. Sometimes some other candy like Skittles. And we occasionally find other safe baked goods at various stores around here.

I rarely ever make candy or bake any more. But when I do, I am going to make sure it tastes good and it will have real sugar in it. I have no problems with sugar in terms of health because it is not something I consume often.

I do drink diet soda. Tons of it. Once or twice a year I make a cranberry salad. In that case, I do use sugar free Jell-O and I do use some Splenda (or Aspartame) to sweeten the berries. Whatever I have in the house. It's usually Splenda. I buy one small package a year. Rarely ever use it for anything else. Tried it once in a coleslaw but the end result was inedible. I don't think it was the fault of the Splenda though. Seems the cabbage I get from my local farm is just very bitter.

[ang1e0251]

I'm a little surprised that you feel stevia from plants is unsafe but you use aspartame in soft drinks and other things. Aspartame not only makes me sick but I've read some pretty scarey things about it.

I like agave nectar for sweetening too. It's very low glycemic and comes from the agave plant. I do use sugar but I like to control and switch that up toward the evening hours.

[Jestgar]

I suppose it's all a balance, isn't it? I put stevia in my tea once in a while, drink diet pop, if I'm drinking any pop, buy treats made with agave or brown rice syrup, and use sugar when I bake (also rarely).

I would think, if something's going to cause a problem, it will be something you consume in excess, whatever the source.

[Juliebove]

I'm a little surprised that you feel stevia from plants is unsafe but you use aspartame in soft drinks and other things. Aspartame not only makes me sick but I've read some pretty scarey things about it.

I like agave nectar for sweetening too. It's very low glycemic and comes from the agave plant. I do use sugar but I like to control and switch that up toward the evening hours.

I've read scary things written about Aspartame too. They're all written by one Betty Martini, aka Nancy Markle or one of her minions. If you look it up on Snopes.com or one of the other myth busting sites, you'll see just how wacky and how much of a liar this woman is. She dredged up the names of deceased Drs. and "quoted" them. Then she made the mistake of "quoting" a Dr. who is still alive. Turns out he never said what she claimed. He sued her.

I can't do agave. It spikes my blood sugar very badly and I don't much like the taste of it. I have used it in a few raw recipes but only used one little squirt.

The glycemic index means nothing to me. I get better results with things like white bread and potatoes. Things I shouldn't do well with.

[Juliebove]

I suppose it's all a balance, isn't it? I put stevia in my tea once in a while, drink diet pop, if I'm drinking any pop, buy treats made with agave or brown rice syrup, and use sugar when I bake (also rarely).

I would think, if something's going to cause a problem, it will be something you consume in excess, whatever the source.

Maybe. Some might say I use a lot of Aspartame because I drink a lot of diet soda each day. But I don't generally have any other sweeteners than that.

[RiceGuy]

I'm sorry to hear that you use aspartame, as it has been confirmed as a neurotoxin. Can't cook with it either, as it breaks down into other toxic stuff. This has been known even before it was put on the market.

It is amazing what companies will do to sell a product, which is why it is so important to research things yourself. Just Google "aspartame neurotoxin" and see what you get. All other artificial sweeteners are known to be toxic as well. This is just one reason why Soda companies have been pushing forward to put Stevia in their products.

Don't believe everything you read, obviously. There are people on all sides of every issue.

Here's a study done on aspartame and MSG, on PubMed:

BACKGROUND: Fibromyalgia is a common rheumatologic disorder that is often difficult to treat effectively. CASE SUMMARY: Four patients diagnosed with fibromyalgia syndrome for two to 17 years are described. All had undergone multiple treatment modalities with limited success. All had complete, or nearly complete, resolution of their symptoms within months after eliminating monosodium glutamate (MSG) or MSG plus aspartame from their diet. All patients were women with multiple comorbidities prior to elimination of MSG. All have had recurrence of symptoms whenever MSG is ingested. DISCUSSION: Excitotoxins are molecules, such as MSG and aspartate, that act as excitatory neurotransmitters, and can lead to neurotoxicity when used in excess. We propose that these four patients may represent a subset of fibromyalgia syndrome that is induced or exacerbated by excitotoxins or, alternatively, may comprise an excitotoxin syndrome that is similar to fibromyalgia. We suggest that identification of similar patients and research with larger numbers of patients must be performed before definitive conclusions can be made. CONCLUSIONS: The elimination of MSG and other excitotoxins from the diets of patients with fibromyalgia offers a benign treatment option that has the potential for dramatic results in a subset of patients.

Open Original Shared Link

From what I've read and heard, the FDA has received more reports of negative side effects from aspartame than any other product, period. To understand why the FDA continues to allow this junk on the market, just Google "fda revolving door". On the other hand, Stevia has been in use for hundreds of years, and there are no reports of negative side effects.

It is true that some people find Stevia to have a bitter aftertaste, but many simply aren't familiar with how little it takes to sweeten something with it, and they use too much. There are also the liquid formulas, which typically have grapefruit seed extract as a preservative, and that gives an aftertaste too. This is why many brands use fillers and such in the powdered formulations, to bulk it up so it measures like sugar. It is important to note that not all brands have a high purity, and this also leads to an aftertaste. Lastly, there are a few different compounds within Stevia which give it its sweet taste, and each brand is different in the proportions of those compounds. So anyone interested should really try a few different brands and formulations, to find the one they like best.

[Juliebove]

I have Fibromyalgia, but it's related to thyroid and not Aspartame. As for cooking with it. Why would I need to? I said I don't eat sweets. I still believe it's safe. Like I said... I know who wrote the articles and she's a liar.

[RiceGuy]

I have Fibromyalgia, but it's related to thyroid and not Aspartame.

Wow. Are you sure? If you Google "aspartame thyroid", you'll see that it does indeed have a negative effect on the thyroid. Either directly or indirectly, the relationship is clear.

I still believe it's safe. Like I said... I know who wrote the articles and she's a liar.

That person you mentioned isn't the only one to write about the dangers of aspartame. Far from it, in fact. Just one Google search revealed well over 200,000 articles. Many many studies have been conducted, and much research done, by credible scientists and health professionals.

Oh, and then there's the bit about the formaldehyde, but you are free to disbelieve that as well.

For those interested, here are just a few links:

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

[Juliebove]

Wow. Are you sure? If you Google "aspartame thyroid", you'll see that it does indeed have a negative effect on the thyroid. Either directly or indirectly, the relationship is clear.

That person you mentioned isn't the only one to write about the dangers of aspartame. Far from it, in fact. Just one Google search revealed well over 200,000 articles. Many many studies have been conducted, and much research done, by credible scientists and health professionals.

Oh, and then there's the bit about the formaldehyde, but you are free to disbelieve that as well.

For those interested, here are just a few links:

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

Open Original Shared Link

Mercola? Ha! He has so many lies on his site it isn't funny. Don't know about your other links. They don't look to be what I would consider legit. As in true medical sites.

What caused my thyroid problems was soy. I am convinced of it. I used to eat a lot of soy, thinking it was good for me. Then I learned otherwise. I cut it out entirely, save for the occasional soybean oil in a restaurant and a few supplements and other things that contain soy lecithin. If I can find whatever it is without the soy lecithin, I'll buy it. But sometimes I can't. But no soy protein whatever. No more Edamame or Miso soup.

And guess what? No more thyriod problems. No more thyroid meds. No more Fibro. flares.

Am I sure? Yep!